Small and Slow Changes

Two days after my creation of Soundbending, Toph participated and won in Earth Rumble 6. She couldn't shut up about how she was the best, and we had a small celebration of her victory. It was three days after that when my giddy emotions and pride at Soundbending's creation were mostly gone.

...

[By becoming more self-aware, your WIS has gone up by five!]

It was after I got off the emotional high of creating Soundbending, I noticed that, while yes, I should be proud of myself, I had taken the completely wrong approach in my view towards Airbending. I had understood the Air Nomads techniques, yes. But I didn't understand their teachings.

In fact, when I was staying at the Southern Air Temple, I purposely avoided any of their teachings aside from Airbending. I thought, why should I care? It wasn't MY culture, and even in my first life when I did have one, I didn't even care about that! I disregarded that as I've been disregarding history my entire life.

So then, that makes me now question... what did I care about? And that train of thought lead to some heavy introspection. With the clearest mind I've had in what felt like years, I realized.

In my time here, in this new world with it's own cultures and history, I have been very narrow minded. I've been rushing through everything, not really caring. That isn't a good mindset.

I felt out of place here, but the entire reason why I feel out of place is that I didn't take the time to learn, or care! In a few ways, it seemed like I thought I already knew everything about this world because I watched the show and knew the future. That's wrong.

There was so much not shown in the show that existed, but I didn't know any of it because I haven't been taking the time to stop and appreciate it. I should've taken up Aang's offers to join them in playing with different types of animals back then, but that boat had already sailed, things would begin to ramp up from here soon, and there would be little time for relaxation. But there's no use in regretting it, as long as I make sure I've learned from that mistake.

Using Uncle Iroh's wisdom, if learning and understanding The Four Nations made someone whole, then I was the emptiest person around. Thankfully, I would have a long time to learn after Ozai was dealt with. But there's no reason why I shouldn't start now, and I wouldn't use Ozai as an excuse.

...

"Aang," I called out to the young boy, and he turned his head, smiling at me.

"Yeah Elliot?" he asked me. I hesitated for a moment before firming myself, and sat down, across from him.

"Aang, I... uh..." It was a bit hard to get out. But I wanted to be more compassionate, less selfish and self absorbed. Taking in a deep breath and breathing out, I said,

"Aang, I'm sorry." I could tell he was taken aback.

"Sorry?" he parroted, confused.

"Yes. I've disregarded your culture, and in turn, disregarded you," I explained to him. It was true. At moments, now that I look back on it, I saw him more as a means to an end than an actual person. In ways, I was very similar to Azula.

He seemed stunned at my words. "Elliot, you..." he didn't know what to say.

"I haven't been a good friend, have I?" I questioned.

"No! You've been-"

"Sorry, I meant, I haven't been a good friend." I restated, this time, giving him no chance to defend me. Aang had been nothing but kind, and yet I couldn't say the same.

"I, uhm..." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

"It's fine, Elliot, really. I didn't even notice!" he tried defusing.

"Aang, I'm not gonna leave the group or something. I'm asking for forgiveness not only because I want to be a better friend, but because I also want to learn more about the Air Nomads. Their culture and teachings," I confessed.

"You... want to learn about the Air Nomads?" His expression brightened like a Christmas light.

I smiled, "Yeah, it's the least I could do, I am an Airbender after all."

...

Aang loved his people, deeply. I could see that from how he talked about them, which made me feel even worse about my past thoughts and actions. But if I dwelled on all the things I messed up, I would get nowhere, I was here to fix that.

I took in a long deep breath, and exhaled for just as long. Despite just beginning to learn of the monks teachings, that didn't mean I should give up training. That was stupid.

And I've been making good progress on my vitality. My strength has also been shooting up, due to a certain Perk of mine no doubt.

VIT: 80

STR: 137

Though aside from that, I've decided to take learning about the Four Nations slowly. One at a time. Rushing things would get me nowhere but back to a bad spot.

It's only unfortunate that I was being rushed to make a decision. I could feel it. Azula was coming. I would need to make a decision, and soon.

While I felt like the best thing to do was to make no choice at all and wipe my hands of the situation, I knew that was irresponsible. No, it was dangerous even. That kind of inaction would lead to her conquering Ba Sing Se and predicting/preparing for the invasion of the black sun. I knew what was going to happen, even if it wasn't fully set in stone, I had more knowledge to work with than most. So I had an obligation to do something, even if I'd rather not.

"Why am I even thinking of this right now?" I chided myself. I wasn't supposed to be thinking of this, and instead, be trying to get this to work!

I went through another set of breaths, before I fully focused. With my eyes closed, and my heartbeat slowing, I strained my ears.

Raising my hands, I clapped my palms together, producing a crisp sound. I felt how the air blew and the sound moved through it, trying to get a sense of where everything was in my surroundings.

[Your PER has gone up by one!]

I ignored the message and clapped again. Getting Echolocation would take awhile, wouldn't it? But it'd be worth it, I knew it.

...

After talking with Aang for a few days, I decided to give... a vegetarian diet a chance. For a few weeks at least, to get more into the mindset of an Air Nomad. Because, while I would learn and understand their culture, it didn't mean I had to follow it.

...

It happened then. It was just another night where I was meditating in stead of sleep, until I heard the rumbling. Then I felt, and Toph woke up.

I snapped my eyes open as my stomach twisted and churned. I felt nauseous. Yet despite that, despite the tumultuous emotions I was feeling, I had finally come to a decision.

And once I did, it felt like another weight was lifted off of me. I knew what I had to do now, after all.

...

I was in a weird state of focus as Azula's group followed us like bloodhounds. Aang and the rest slowly became more and more tired. Like I was viewing from both a third and first person perspective simultaneously.

Nobody noticed my lackluster performance in the fights, too tired to care. While everyone focused on trying to get some sleep, I focused on gathering up Appa's fur. Finally, the time came after our crash landing and Toph left. I was never a leader, but I could play the part for now.

"Appa's shedding," I say slowly, interrupting Katara and Aang moping, making everyone look at me.

"Yeah? And?" Sokka asked drowsily.

"It's how they keep finding us," I shrugged.

"Are you blaming Appa too?" Aang inquired, the tension and his tiredness making him ready to pop off at me.

"No. I'm stating the problem, and proposing a solution," I state in an unusual amount of clarity.

"We wash Appa in that river, and I lead them astray using the fur I've collected from Appa," I further expand.

"Ah! That's... that's genius!" Sokka exclaimed in happiest, not actually at my idea, but that my idea would allow them to get more sleep. We set the plan into motion.

While I could've proposed this before Toph left in anger, I was getting a bit sick of mediating between her and Katara. She also needed a bit of character development from Uncle Iroh.

I also wanted to make sure she wouldn't ask me what I was really thinking. I noticed how she looked at me when this started, probably noting my panic. You needed to go to extra effort to hide stuff from a teammate who's a lie detector after all, and I couldn't always control my breathing, especially when panicked.

...

I watched with mixed emotions as Appa flew away for the final time. I stared at the bag in my hand before flying in an opposite direction. I wanted Ty Lee and Mai to follow them.

I only needed Azula.