Part Five of My Life; Redemption.

Ezekiel 25 : 17

I will execute terrible vengeance against them to punish them for what they have done. And when I have inflicted my revenge, they will know that I am the Lord.

"William!" teriaknya keras-keras, membangunkanku dari kantuk luar biasa ini. "Ugh, oh my god—what?" balasku sembari mengusap-usap mataku yang memerah. "Kamu masih sadar? You're still with us, aren't you?" kata Jehova di dekatku. "Of course I am. I, uh, I just, I needed sleep...I guess."

Everyone is gathered around the back garden at, what time—maybe around two in the morning? Beats me if I know. The whole house is reduced down to ashes, some of the smoke remains still—and they get inhaled by us. We wil die either way now, huh?

"Aku benar-benar berharap mereka tidak melakukan apa-apa pada tubuhku." kata Simon memegangi lehernya. Apparently, that's where the poor lad got hit. "Sejak James mengatakan dia memasang implan di tubuh kita, aku sudah mengecek semua benjolan tidak beres di tubuh kita, dan benar saja—banyak sekali kepingan logam." kata Messias berdiri di tengah.

"And where exactly is Prophet?" tanya Levi memegangi lehernya juga.

"He's resting. He is sick as a dog, and weak as a duck. Luckily," kata Messias merogoh kantungnya, "He give us the key to the basement." katanya memegang gantungan kunci tengkorak yang terhubung dengan banyak sekali kunci.

"Jika kalian pikir senjata di ruang tengah cukup, kalian jelas belum melihat semuanya."

"Aku benar-benar merasa kalau Prophet bukan seorang kakek tua biasa." kataku terkagum.

"Isn't that obvious already?"

"Well, yeah—I mean, you know, not to this extent."

"Alright then. Come on and head to the basement," katanya memainkan ring kunci, "Where hopefully, nobody could hear us again." lanjutnya seraya melihat langit-langit. I have to admit, ever since yesterday, we're all a little paranoid inside.

"Hey." kata Simon menepuk pundakku. Aku menoleh. "What is it, lad?""Do you know where Prophet is resting?" katanya separuh berbisik ke dekat telingaku. "No, no, I guess I don't. Why?" jawabku menggeleng. "If he has this whole basement full of weapons, he has to have something else up his sleeve. Something that he prepares just for this occasion."

Aku berpikir. Itu mungkin benar. "He's in the east wing. The only not completely burned to ashes."

"Copy that. Tell Prophet I go to the bathroom." katanya tersenyum kecil.

"Alright, mate. Let's see how long I can keep that lie, eh?" jawabku seraya dia berlari pergi.

"Hey, Simon! Where you going?" kata Benedict di belakang. "Toilet!" jawab anak itu masih berlari kencang. Boy, you now lies to your own brethren. What a bloody son that you are. "Uh—aku masih pusing." gerutu Thomas melingkarkan lengannya ke pundakku dan sedikit merebahkan badannya. "Mate, you reeks of shit." "Oh ,have I? And you smells like a million flowers, aye?" balasnya mengejek.

"Well, I don't either. You know what—I get it. We all smell bad." kataku sedikit menutup hidung.

"Now you understand. James is going to fight us with this corpse stink."

"Now that one is straight messed up, mate. You off your rocker, mate?"

"No, I don't. No." katanya menggelengkan kepala sampai rambutnya terkibas ke arahku. Bloody hell, even his hair smells like an old, rotting corpse. And...mine might too, so I've better just shut up about the whole thing.

"Kamu takut?" kata Thomas melirik. Lirikannya mengandung jutaan makna.

"To be honest, a little bit. But who doesn't?" jawabku masih menahan napas.

"I don't." tukasnya serius. Sepertinya. "Nah, mate. Nah—come on, now. You cannot be serious." kataku tidak percaya. Sama sekali. "I am being completely honest about you. I am not scared, not a teensy tiny little bit." katanya lagi, lebih serius dari sebelumnya.

"Does it creepy when I'm intrigued as of the hows and whys?" kataku menaikkan satu alisku. Yap, Thomas adalah orang yang selalu berpikir diluar nalar kadang-kadang, tapi entah kenapa, alasannya selalu masuk akal. Lad's a genius in life alright. "Yes. Stop asking, mate." jawabnya dingin.

"Alright." kataku yakin dia akan memberikan umpan balik.

"It's just—" Ah. There it is.

"It's just that it feels a little alarming at the beginning, but you grew up noticing these alerts. And somehow ignored them." katanya melepaskan tangannya dari bahuku dan mulai memijat bahunya sendiri. "Life, right?" "Well, yeah—but it doesn't have to end this way, though."

"Someday, mate. We will be walking our daughter to the aisle." kataku menghibur.

"Someday, someone I love will read my eulogy. But someday is not a day within a week." jawabnya.

"Aku kira sudah cukup rasa pesimisnya, Thomas. Kecuali kamu ingin menjadi filsuf, tentu saja." kataku lagi. 'Tch.' "I might. Or have I already becoming one?" katanya menunjuk dadanya.

"Hey. We're here. Make sure we're not being followed." kata Messias di depan, diapit oleh daun gerbang yang besar. "Uh, we're just in a tunnel. And a straight one, at that." kata Benedict. "If someone's following us, it's a huge rat." lanjut Levi. "Shut up, both of you." sekarang Jehova yang menjawab—mereka saling bersahutan sekarang. What a bunch of lads that is.

"I take that as a yes." kata Messias membuka gembok yang tidak kalah besarnya. Even big caliber of a round will not able to penetrate that massive lock—wonder how many people really bought it and was it really necessary? It is almost half a meter thick. "Kamu akan membuka besmen?" tanyaku.

"Mate, start asking the important ones." kata Thomas.

"What could possibly be more important than that?"

"I don't—you're right." kataku berangsur setuju. "Mungkin kelihatannya bodoh, tapi percayalah, aku masih waras." jawabnya sedikit memaksa. "Keep it, lads. I'm opening it." 'Click!' suara gembok itu bergaung keras. I can't comprehend how the hell Prophet been able to live here for years. Is he not afraid of ghost—or worse, being lonely?

"Sepertinya gelap di dalam." kata Jehova.

"Percayalah, pasti ada saklar lampu." jawab Messias masuk.

"Lad's right. It's dark. I'm not going inside." kata Levi.

"Aw, come on son. Don't walk out—" "Like I said, there's lights." 'Clack!' seketika di dalam terang benderang. "You good now?" "Tentu saja." kata Levi santai. "You're just lazy, aren't you?" "You read my mind." katanya berjalan santai ke dalam. For a moment, I really thought there really exists a cold-blooded assassin who is afraid of dark. It doesn't add up.

"Ayo masuk, William." kata Thomas lagi.

"Don't get near me. My nostrils has enough pain already."

"Ey, fuck you, mate." katanya berlari kecil, mendahuluiku ke dalam. Wow. Di dalam, jauh lebih besar dari tampaknya dari luar. "Aku pernah bilang kalau senjata di sini cukup untuk memulai perang dunia—sekarang, aku kira dia sanggup membumihanguskan bumi." kataku melihat sekeliling. Wow. He has it all.

"Is that a bloody flamethrower?" kata Levi menunjuk ke sisi dinding. Mate, control your fetish already. "Jadi," kataku menghampiri Messias, "Apa yang terjadi pada Prophet?"

"Must you ask?" katanya memiringkan kepalanya. "He is rather unwell at the moment." "I know, it's just—" "What is it? Kamu bertingkah tidak seperti biasanya, menanyakan hal seperti ini." katanya melipat tangan. "I always ask things like this—especially when I know something is hidden."

"Prophet sakit, tapi tentu saja, dia mempercayakan aku satu hal."

"Apa itu?"

"Kalau aku bilang, dimana letak kepercayaan yang dia taruh?"

Makes sense. "But you know it better, right? This is a suicide mission. A deathwish." kataku serius. "I thought you were ready to die." katanya menaikkan satu alisnya. "I am. It's just, you know, it's different when the day comes and you have to face it head-on." kataku lagi.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. You pray?"

"Grow up not believing in any god at all."

"Well, I do believe in God—just not at the moment."

"And what the bloody hell is that supposed to mean, exactly?" kataku curiga. "It's just, I don't know which God to pray to." katanya menaikkan bahunya. "Just say god, then. You'll be fine, I guess." tukasku.

"Saran yang bagus dari seseorang yang tidak percaya Tuhan."

"Yeah, fuck you too, mate." jawabku singkat dan pergi melihat-lihat seisi ruangan ini.

"We only have two hours, so gear up everyone." kata Messias melihat jam tangannya. "Speaking of which, where is Simon?" katanya lagi. Aku yang melihat senapan di dinding berangsur-angsur panik.

"Anyone know where the boy is?" tanya Messias melihat semuanya. Aku pura-pura tidak dengar.

"He gone to the toilet." kata Benedict.

"Since an hour ago? Even wanking off is not that long."

"Well, you never know. He might unload a big one."

Ew, gross. But at least everybody buy that alibi. Aku mengambil senapan mesin kaliber besar dari dinding. "Nice." kata Jehova. "But it's as heavy as a rock." kataku menimbang dan mengukur. "Use it as last resort. You know—when we about to die." tukasnya lalu pergi mencari senjata lain. He's right. This one might come in handy.

"But where will I hold it?" tanyaku kepada Messias, yang lebih berpengalaman.

"Strap it on your back."

"Isn't it heavy? Will my back be okay?"

"When thinking about last mission, think about the enemy back. Not yours." katanya. Is he being sarcastic, or—you know what, it doesn't matter. I'm going to bring it anyway. "Bagaimana dengan yang lainnya?" tanya Jehova.

"The usual. You know—the essentials." kataku mengambil strap.

"Handgun, a knife, a rifle...all that?"

"Ya, tentu saja." kataku sibuk mengikat strap ke senapan mesin ini. "Does this baby have a name?" "Mk14, aku rasa." "7.62?" tanyaku. "Yes. Might be larger—no, it's right. 7.62 it is." kata Jehova melihat isi amunisi.

"Well, apparently it isn't that much of a caliber—"

"But hell of a party." lanjut Jehova tersenyum.

"Damn right it is, mate." kataku menentengnya dengan bangga dan licik.

'Phew.' "How's it going, fellers?" kata Simon, memasuki bunker dengan penuh keringat. "Hell of a wank, eh?" kata Levi. "The best one I ever had, mate. The best." jawabnya bangga. Prophet must have revealed something big for this kid. But, he didn't carry anything. He didn't seems like he's carrying anything.

Was it an idea? An ideology, perhaps? That he passes down to this lad?

"Simon! Pilih senjatamu, dan cepat—kita akan menyerang James, atau Mr. Christ, sebentar lagi." kata Messias di tengah, sudah bersiap-siap. "I just got here, mate. Relax a little bit, wouldn't you?" jawabnya tersengal-sengal. "Well, that's what you get, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever—I'll be going now." katanya beralih ke dinding.

"Kalian sudah selesai?" kata Thomas menghampiri. "Almost. Why?" jawabku, masih mengencangkan strap ke punggungku. "You're not carrying that, aren't you?" "Mate, you want war, you better prepare for war." kataku menjelaskan dengan sombong.

"If you're carrying that, I feel a little a little timid about mine, though."

"Don't be, I'm sure they all—"

"I'll bring a large gun, too! Just wait a minute." katanya langsung pergi.

"Well, that didn't go quite well, eh?" kata Jehova. "Is it weird knowing that he'll match my gears make me want to up mine a little bit?" kataku melihat Thomas beringas melihat-lihat senjata lain. "No. Not at all. It's psychology."

"Agak risih membawa psikologi ke hal-hal seperti ini." kataku tersenyum kecil.

"Kamu harus lihat orang-orang yang sudah kita bunuh." tukas Jehova seraya meninggalkanku.

Yup. Mate has a point. Only that I did not agree on everything. Some were straight-up sociopaths, some were organized evil-doers, but some just got entangled unto the dark webs of this world. Simply cruel. What a cruel world, indeed. Pikirku seraya keluar dari pintu bunker.

"You all ready, son?" kata Messias masih di tengah, melihat semuanya bersiap-siap.

"Aye, mate." kataku mengangguk dan bersiap untuk misi terakhirku. "Bagus." tukas Messias. I just hopewhatever happens, I will still be able to retain my way of thinking—my life that I long for ever since. A free one.

Yes. A free one—I hope, at the very least.

��All ready?" kata Messias memimpin keluar dari bunker. "Wait a minute!" teriak Levi. "What about Prophet?" katanya penasaran. Aku menoleh melihat Simon. Dia menggeleng dengan sangat perlahan. "He's sick, I told you that already." jawab Messias singkat. "But still, though." kata Benedict juga.

"It's quite rare to see you lads have compassion towards one another." kata Jehova.

"I never leave a man behind, Jehova." jawab Levi.

"You don't talk back to me like that."

"Unlike you with John, is not it?"

"That's it. You're—" "Ey! Knock it off already!" kataku memegangi Jehova. "He started it." tukas Jehova memberontak dari pelukanku. "I said," kataku mendorongnya ke dinding, "Knock it off."

"We all mourned for John. And unlike Saul, we will leave Prophet behind."

"Even that lad couldn't care less about Saul." kata Jehova lagi. "Fuck you—" "Enough!" teriak Messias—teriakannya bergaung keras di seisi bunker ini. "Jika kalian masih saja seperti ini, maka bagaimana kalau kalian saling membunuh saja di sini? Aku juga akan pasang taruhan." Semuanya terdiam. "Now, you lads either shove it, or I will shove you. Leave the bunker and make your choice." katanya meninggalkan kita semua di sini. Just hope he doesn't lock us up in here.

"We'll put this on hold." kata Jehova membenarkan kerahnya.

"No, you will not. You will stop." kataku meralat omongannya.

"You don't own me, William." katanya lagi, mencari musuh baru. "Aku rasa kamu tidak mendengarkan." balasku sengit. Tentu saja, aku akan membela anakku.

"You guys done?! I'll be locking you up, then." kata Messias dari luar.

Kita semua menoleh ke arahnya dan berjalan menuju pintu keluar, masing-masing orang dengan beberapa hal yang tersisa di kepalanya. "Good." kata Messias menunggu di luar seraya melipat kedua tangannya. "You still have your senses going well. Carry on, now." tukasnya seraya menutup pintu.

"Well, I'll be damned." kata Thomas menghampiriku.

"Whatever it is mate, I am absolutely not interested." jawabku malas.

"You didn't hear any of it." kata Thomas lagi. "Aku mengenalmu sejak lama, aku rasa." kataku menghela napas panjang. "Mungkin begitu. Save it for later?" tanyanya masih memohon. "We have a lot of story that goes unfollowed that it might've created a full-300 pages novel."

"Aku tahu, aku tahu—aku orang yang suka bercerita." katanya menyerah.

"Now, I never said that, wouldn't I?"

"Yes, it just...I guess I matured." katanya tersenyum. "Mmm? Guess again, mate." tukasku dengan pandangan aneh. "Alright, gentlemen. You remember the plan, you sure do remember your entry." kata Messias mengakhiri percakapan masing-masing semua orang. Kecuali Jehova. He's just standing at the corner like the goddamned creep that he is.

"Now, wait a minute." kata suara orang tua dari balik pintu bunker yang masih terbuka sedikit.

I know that old, hoarse voice.

"I wouldn't happen to have missed the party, don't I?" kata Prophet membuka pintu bunker dengan tangannya yang keriput. "Wow, grandpa! Still not kicking the bucket yet, eh?" kata Levi, separuh senang, separuh terkejut. "But why—" "Don't we have a mission to begin? Why waste any second now?" katanya lagi—bangkit seperti Lazarus dari guanya.

"Aku kira kamu bilang kamu tidak mampu untuk ikut, kakek." kata Messias dari depan.

"I did, but some circumstances happen anyway." katanya dengan memandang dengan beribu makna. Does that lad have anything to do with this? pikirku seraya melihat Simon. Dia tersenyum. Yup. Definitely. "I guess you'll be dead on the battefield rather than a bunk." kata Thomas.

"Semua cara mati adalah terhormat—bagi kita, para calon penghuni neraka." kata Prophet.

"Didn't know you believe in hell, old man." kataku tidak ingin kalah bercakap.

"They exists in every religion alright. Must be for a reason." tukasnya. "Alright! Looks like we have one more manpower, that is. I always appreciate the extra gun." kata Messias separuh berteriak. "Sayangnya, aku tidak punya rencana untukmu, Prophet. Mau bergabung dengan tim manapun, I leave that up to you, entirely." lanjutnya lagi.

"Aku akan bergabung dengan William." kata Prophet.

"You sure? No second thoughts—just in a blink, like that?" tanyaku penasaran.

"You doubt me?" tanya Prophet balik. "At the moment, yes. You can't always stay the sharpest cowboy at the west is all I am saying." jawabku menaikkan satu alisku. "That's doubt alright." "Ah—you get the memo." jawabku tersenyum.

"Kamu keberatan, William?" tanya Messias mulai tidak sabar.

"Tidak, tidak—dia boleh-boleh saja bergabung dengan timku," jawabku sembari mengangguk.

"Toh kita akan bertemu di satu tempat yang sama." sambungku melihat Messias. Prophet mengangguk dan tersenyum. First time I ever seen this old chap smile. "Fair enough. I'll see you there, then." katanya melangkah duluan menuju Messias. "We're going together, in case that old brain of yours got disconnected." kataku pada Prophet lagi. Well, looks like we're in for a ride, then.

"What about my team, though?" tanya Jehova tiba-tiba.

"What do you even mean—"

"John sudah mati. Dan kecuali Prophet berada di timku, maka kita hanya dua orang, dan tim William menjadi empat orang." lanjutnya pelan—he's still not over it. "Makes sense. I think you should join them, Prophet." kataku melihat situasi.

"Aye—I totally forgot about John. Sorry." kata Prophet lagi.

"All right, since you're here and geared up, do you have any trump card available, old man? We are fighting to death, after all." kata Thomas. "I do, kid. I do." jawab Thomas.

"Since I joined this team, there has been a change of plans, indeed. I will be in the same team as Jehova and Simon. And the strategy for us will change as well. We will go through—"

"The front gate?" kata Thomas.

"Crashing it out loud with RPGs and grenades?" sambung Levi.

"Through your secret, absolutely state-of-the-art, classified master weaponry?" sambungku.

"Through air." kata Prophet menunjuk ke langit. What? How come? "With my helicopter." Oh, you nasty bitch. You really are preparing, don't you? "Bagaimana kau bisa mempunyai helikopter?" tanya Messias. "I guess I got lucky." jawab Prophet lagi. This man is a man of a million secrets. And still to this day, he's not telling all the secrets that he has.

"Jadi, aku dan Simon akan duduk di belakangmu?" kata Jehova.

"Whoa there. I'm quite nervous being so high up there." tukas Simon.

"You will be back there." jawab Prophet. "Simon, however, will be beside me. In case you get nervous and throw up, that is." "If there's no bags, I'll vomit unto the equipment." kata Simon lagi—he cannot be more clear on how he hates this whole thing. Sadly, beggars can't be choosers.

"Oke, sepertinya semua sudah siap—Prophet, kamu sudah membawa senjata?" kata Messias.

"Of course I am." jawabnya tenang. But he didn't carry anything.

"Then where the bloody hell are the guns?" kata Messias lagi, frustasi.

"I bring the necessary ones." jawabnya, lagi-lagi tenang. "Ah, I see you're a man of high value." sambungku senang. "Since when skimping out on guns is considered a high value? And you're carrying a machine gun, you bloody idiot." kata Thomas melihatku—dan semua perlengkapan yang aku bawa. "Well, this machine gun is a personal favourite. Everything else is a necessity alright."

"Alright, we got that one sorted out." kata Messias mengecek perlengkapannya lagi. "We have one of the cars that they deserted...for no apparent reason, actually—so proceed with caution. And, uh, I guess Prophet will be there using helicopter, I guess?" lanjut Messias lagi.

"You're damn right I am." jawab Prophet bangga. I didn't know what this lad is boasting about.

"Alright, all briefs are completed, we're all locked and loaded, I guess we're ready. Anyone want to say grace, please do it yourself." kata Messias seraya menuju mobil yang James tinggalkan. Faktanya, ada banyak mobil yang mereka tinggalkan saat Messias mulai menembaki mereka—I guess they, too, got out by a helicopter, albeit a huge one at that.

"Are you saying grace?" kata Thomas menghampiriku.

"Pretty bold of you to ask things like that." jawabku.

"It's just—you know, we better stay safe. Who knows if hell really is real."

"Apparently, you're just a fake follower, then. No god will ever remember you that way."

"Not if you pray to all of them."

"You know what, mate? You can say your prayers and graces, and I honestly didnt give much shit about that. But if you'r egoing to pray for me, I'd be thankful for that." tukasku. "Yah, sepertinya begitu. Semoga dewa yang benar bisa menyelamatkan kita kali ini."

"Kamu berpikir kalau kita selamat sampai di sini karena kuasa yang lebih besar?"

"It never hurts to start believing."

"In your skill, that is. Come on, lad—let's go. We got a mission waiting."

"Alright, alright. I'm just saying." jawabnya seraya mendahuluiku ke mobil. All of this time, I was never a believer—maybe ever since mom died. Maybe since everyone died. If there is a god, why would he allow me to be an assassin? And a pretty good one, at that? I'm not killing other believers—in fact, maybe some of them has the same mindset as I am. Looking at my friends now, it seems rather unfair to watch them go to hell if they did not believe the god they never heard of their entire life, doesn't it?

But any god does just about that.

If I dies, then just put me with my parents—I miss them so much.

And the next best thing, put me with my brother, I will crush his face, just like the last time I saw him.

'Vrooom!' deru mesin mobil menemani malam petang kali ini. Which is kind of calming, actually—knowing that my past nights has been guns blazing everywhere and a lot of unfinished good sleep. Finally, I can snore deep in this car, which I always do, apparently. Going through a lot of missions and events unexpected, I goes by the principle that sleeping in the car is the best. You will arrive fresh and well-rested, all while cutting time.

"Hey, Luke." kata Thomas.

"Ada apa, Thomas?"

"Just exactly how many missions have you took while Jehova acted as your boss?" tanya Thomas tiba-tiba. "I, uh, I don't know exactly. Maybe three or four?" kata Luke mencoba mengingat. "That's quite a lot." "I know, right?"

"Three, huh? I remember once having a boy that lasted five whole missions." kata Messias.

"They usually ended up being in the same position as ours, doesn't it?" balas Thomas.

"Yes, they do." jawab Messias mengangguk. Tangannya yang memegang setir tidak goyah sedikitpun. He has this laser focus. I wonder if he's been taking performance drugs? "Wow. Lima misi. Tidak pernah terpikirpun sebelumnya bagiku untuk bisa bertahan selama itu." kata Luke lagi.

"Wait, you don't?" tanya Thomas penasaran.

"We lower tiers just assuming bosses are lucky humans with their gifted abilities." kata Levi.

"Yeah—apparently, they are the favorites back at the academy." lanjut Luke lagi.

"What do you mean?" kata Thomas. "It means,"kata Benedict bergabung di percakapan ini, "That future bosses are often scouted from the beginning. That, or the boss just appears out of nowhere, just like William lad here." katanya menjelaskan dengan terperinci. Well, I hear it. I can't sleep knowing a life-changing event will take place, actually. So I acted sleeping and eavesdropping them.

"Yah, William memang dipilih secara pribadi oleh James, tentu saja." kata Thomas melihatku.

"How the story started, actually?" tanya Luke.

"Yeah, I'm kind of intrigued, too." sambung Messias. Out of all people, he's the one intrigued.

"Aku sendiri tidak tahu bagaimana awalnya. Tapi banyak yang bilang bahwa William adalah anak yang malang." cerita Thomas serius. "He's a regular kid turned orphan when both of his parents died. Some says that James itself that hired his assassins to kill his parents. If that is true, he is one slick businessman that belongs in the deepest depth of hell."

"Jadi, kamu segelintir orang yang percaya pada neraka?" kata Luke lagi.

"Yeah, sure. What makes you don't believe it?"

"They taught us a lot at academy. Apparently, religions and their teachings is not one of them." sambungnya. "Tapi, lihatlah sisi positifnya—kita berkembang menjadi partner pembunuh yang hebat." kata Luke melihat Benedict. "Sure it is, mate. It sure is." jawab Benedict. "Jadi, kamu berasal dari dunia luar, Thomas?" tanya Messias.

"Like this good, old mate of mine, yes I am." kata Thomas menarik telingaku.

"Tunggu, jadi Messias adalah produk akademi?" tanya Levi. "I am, child. I am." "Must be gifted, doesn't it?" "Depends on how you look at it. I am obedient, but I hold my thoughts inside. Thoughts that every kid at academy have." kata Messias tenang dan menatap jalanan.

"About how the life on the outside—"

"How it feels like to have a true friend," sambung Benedict.

"To feel the air and play around without the sounds of gunpowder everywhere," kata Luke.

"Have grown-ups that actually cared about us, everything, really." tukas Messias.

"Jadi apa yang terjadi? Kenapa tiba-tiba berubah?" tanya Thomas. "Aku rasa, aku menjadi dewasa, itu saja." jawab Messias menghela napas panjang. "That can't be the entire story." tanya Levi.

"You're right. It is not.I t's not even half of the story. It's the start and the ending."

"Cukup berantakan untuk bisa disebut cerita, sepertinya." kata Thomas lagi. "Itu semua adalah hal yang kamu cukup tahu. Sisanya hanyalah detail-detail yang tidak penting." jawabnya dingin. "Enough about him. What about you, Thomas? How it feels, life on the outside?" kata Luke.

"Same old, same old. The one you always hear on the news." jawabnya melihat jendela mobil.

"It's gotta be different somehow still." kata Levi masih menanti jawaban.

"I, uh, I guess..." jawab Thomas lagi, masih melihat jendela. Anyone could tell that this lad is holding something. "Is it that bad?" kata Messias tiba-tiba. Thomas tersenyum simpul. "Kamu bisa menebak dengan baik, bukan begitu?" "Yah," kata Messias memutar setir di persimpangan, "Cukup banyak temanku bernasib sama. If your life is that good, you wouldn't take the offer for any reason at all."

"Yeah, I guess you are right, after all. My life is not as it seems." jawab Thomas semakin sendu.

"Oh...aku kira, semua yang di luar sana pastilah lebih baik dari apapun hidup kita di dalam kotak besi itu." kata Levi. "Aku kira juga demikian." sambung Simon juga. "So, whatever happened?" tanya Messias lagi.

"Well, most of us being hand-picked, I knew some of them had a pretty rough life. Like this lad William over here, and me, obviously." kata Thomas melihat rintik hujan turun dari jendela—it has just started raining. "I was a boy, alone in my ignorance, just enjoying my life as it unfolds out. Turns out, my deadbeat dad—he's a psycho. He—I don't know why—he killed me mum." sambungnya melihat kita semua di dalam mobil. I might be just hearing this, but I get the chills already. Stories like these are what unifies us together.

"He grabbed a kitchen knife—of course, I've been there already before, but not just threatening, he, he just...he stabbed her. Again. And again. And again. And I just looked with utter fear."

"Aku kira benar—tidak semua orang di luar adalah malaikat, dan kita tidak selalu jahat."

"Then he looked at me, with blood gushing still and his eyes seeing red...and the last words my mom mumbled was..." sambung Thomas pelan-pelan, "Run...run away. Then she died."

"I, uh, I tried to run, but I was petrified. And I tried to grab anything—as fast as I could. By dad lunged towards me, then it all happened. It...it, it just happened. So fast." kata Thomas melihat kedua tangannya.

"I grabbed a stoker by the fireplace. It just, it...it just stabbed right through him. I never wanted him dead, actually. Then I saw me mum—she was still breathing! I run as fast I could, I never thought I could run that fast before. I shake her, I scream and I cry for help to her—but all she said before she left me for good was—"

"Why?"

"Kalian lihat, teman-temanku sekalian," sambung Thomas mengepalkan keras tangannya, "I don't know I could...murder people. I mean, I was just...a kid. And that's it. Do I ever wanted this life? No. As I saw her breathless, I am in silence once again. That is, until my dad started mumbling in pain. With tears still in my eyes, that was it."

"I knew I would fucking kill him." tukas Thomas lagi.

"Sisa ceritanya tidak berakhir dengan indah, tentu saja—dan seperti yang kalian tahu, James selalu menjemput malaikat mautnya di pemakaman...tempat yang tepat untuk malaikat maut." kata Thomas mengakhiri ceritanya.

"Bloody hell, that was intense. I guess you've gone through quite a lot, mate." kata Luke. "Dunia luar tidak seperti apa yang kita bayangkan—apalagi setelah misi pertama kita." ucap Messias dengan bijak. I knew it. This man has the worst out of all of us. He had gone through unbelievable shit, that I know best.

"Let's hope this last mission changes everything—at least, our life that is." tukas Benedict.

"We're here." 'Screeech!'

"Semuanya turun." kata Messias lagi. "Mate, wake the fuck up." kata Thomas mengguncangkan badanku. "Alright, alright—I'm waking up." kataku separuh terbangun. Walaupun sesungguhnya, aku tidak benar-benar tertidur sejak awal kita naik ke mobil ini. "Dimana Prophet?" kata Messias melihat sekeliling. It's really dark outside, especially since the car's lights has just been shut down.

"There he is—I guess. Is it?" kata Luke menunjuk sebuah benda kecil di langit.

"Let's hope so. If it's the guards carrying a minigun, we're as good as dead." kata Messias. I never knew we had guards with minigun back at the academy. Am I that introverted? "Dia turun!" ujar Levi bersiaga.

"Boys!" kata Simon separuh berteriak—suaranya tertelan oleh helikopter bulat-bulat. "Why is he calling us boys?" tanya Thomas kepadaku. "Beats me, lad." jawabku seraya memperbaiki rambutku yang terbang setiap tiga detik.

"Ready for the final ride of our life?" kata Prophet menghampiri kita. Apparently, Jehova manned the helicopter. What an amazing lad, indeed. "Kita akan menaiki helikopter?" tanya Benedict. "Tentu saja tidak. Hanya kami bertiga." jawab Prophet bernada mengejek. Benedict merengut.

"So sorry, lad." kata Simon menepuk pundak Benedict.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Alright, Thomas, carry them to the edge of the riverbed! There, you'll just have to follow the river flow." katanya kepada Thomas, yang mengangguk dan langsung pergi. "Let's go, lads!" teriaknya. "William, the airducts are over there!" katanya menunjuk pojok kiri dari gedung akademi. Dammit, he's right. It's guarded rather heavily. "Lead the boys, mate. I trust you." kata Prophet lagi, memegang kedua pundakku. Aku hanya bisa mengangguk.

"Great. We'll be going too, then." kata Prophet bergegas menuju helikopter.

"We'll be seeing you shortly, boss." kata Simon pergi. Aku mengangguk pelan. I am scared, actually. I am scared that today is the day I met that boy for the last time. I lost two of my men. I will not lose them all—not while I'm still breathing and alive.

"Let's get going, then." kataku yang mulai terdengar jelas seraya deru helikopter itu menjauh.

"Seems impossible." kata Levi dari balik semak-semak.

"It actually is quite easy—to get past the guards, that is. Getting up to that airducts, now that's hard." kata Messias berjaga di belakang. Aku berpikir. We should get a visual. "Three guards, two mobile, one on the outpost. So," kataku melihat sekitar, "Quite apparently, is indeed, impossible."

"We have always beat the impossible." kata Messias lagi. Aye, he's right.

Every mission seems impossible. But if somehow, we were able to twist our head around it, it is not that hard, actually. "Ada peluang—jika kita berhasil mendapatkan ketiga seragam mereka." kataku lagi. "So, takedown?" kata Messias menoleh melihatku. "Affirmative."

"The two left the base and goes mobile every fifteen minutes or so. Margin of error—nil. Damn, they are so good." kata Levi melihat mereka setelah sekian lama. "Aku kira, kita bisa langsung menyerang mereka. Tapi, semua orang pasti tahu." kataku sembari berpikir keras. "For your information, back side is still safe." "Like I said, thankyou." jawabku frustasi.

Yes. Espionage is hard. Even so is the lads you have to deal with for your next three hours ahead.

"Oh. They stopped!" teriak Levi tiba-tiba. 'Shh!' "You need to seriously lower down your voice." kata Messias dengan sopan. What? It's quite rare to see him acts like a proper Suisse gentleman. "They, uh, they just take a piss. Seriously, what the fuck? In the bushes, on top of that." lanjut Levi menaruh binocularsnya.

"Well, a man have to do what a man needs to do." kataku mengambil binocularsku.

"On all seriousness, why are you using your binoculars?" tanya Messias tiba-tiba.

"Kamu seharusnya menjaga posisimu ketimbang menanyakan hal yang tidak penting—bagaimana jika seseorang menyerang kita tiba-tiba?" tanyaku emosi. "Relax, boy. I can do multitasking." "Not the answer I was expecting, but still—wait, they're not taking a piss." kataku terkaget melihat apa yang kulihat. Levi langsung menyambar teropongnya.

"It looks like they're, uh, they're opening something." kata Levi kebingungan.

"Uh, I can't see because of the bushes—wait! That's a—"

"Cocaine. Right?" kata Messias tiba-tiba.

"Sepertinya begitu." kataku setuju. "I thought of it as hearsay. Apparently—uh, yep. They're snorting it at the moment." sambungku melihat lebih dekat. "Kita tidak bisa meraih performa terbaik tanpa bantuan medis, William." kata Messias dari belakang.

"So, I take it you're using that, too?"

"Look at the bright side. They'll be so focused, they will fall flat to the ground in the next hour."

"Bukankah saat itu adalah pergantian penjaga?" tanya Levi. "Then that's the window we can count on.Especially if the next shift doesn't know about the whole drug deal." lanjut Messias. "Wow, kamu tahu banyak sekali. And better, you've come up with a plan already. Why am I the one spearheading this whole thing, then?" tanyaku penasaran.

"Well, in case something goes wrong—you're the one with the cool head."

"Not that I want something to go wrong, though." jawabku sedikit takut.

"Yah, maksudku—lupakan. Get your act together. Find a window." kata Messias beranjak kembali. Well, so much for being a wise guy, eh? "Sudah sepuluh menit lebih. Mereka akan ganti penjaga sebentar lagi." kata Levi mengingatkan. "Alright. Let's calculate how much time we have." kataku. Well, based on how far the ducts are and how near the guards, i"d say about four minutes, tops.

"Satu menit." kata Messias.

"What?!" sahut kita berdua nyaris bersamaan. "You heard me right. Sixty seconds full of running through point A to B." kata Messias santai. "You do realize that is impossible, right?" kataku mencoba menurunkan kepalanya yang menerawang tinggi di udara.

"By impossible, you meant every mission." jawab Messias lagi.

"Don't. just don't, man. Come on. You're not that low." kataku lagi seraya menggeleng.

"Penjaganya keluar. Jika ada jeda waktu, sekaranglah saatnya." kata Levi menyingkirkan teropongnya dan melihatku. "Ayo, Messias!" ajakku kepada orang tua ini. "Carry on, then. I'll cover your blindspots." katanya menolak. "So, you'll be manning the—"

"If you have to be time blaberring about, surely you can run." tukasnya cepat.

"Okay. Cover our backs, then!" kataku seraya berlari keluar. "Ayo, Levi!" kataku memegang tangan anak itu. "Got it. Lead the way, boss!" katanya seraya bergegas menghampiriku. 'Clack! clack! clack!' suara sepatu yang berisik mengingatkanku pada—hampir semua misi, sepertinya. It's just that every asphalt felt a little bit different, and right now, back at home—it feels exactly like how I remember it to sound.

"Hey. What about five pounds for—"

'Pew! Pew! Pew!' Kepala. Kepala. Looks like I haven't missed any points at marksmanship.

"What the—" 'Swish!' 'Uhmm—" suara penjaga tersisa dibekap oleh Levi dan dikunci kepalanya, 'Crack!' "Ugh..." dan penjaga itu tumbang. "Nice." kataku tersenyum. "We don't have time. Carry on." katanya langsung menuju lubang ventilasi—aku langsung berlari di belakangnya.

Kita sudah dekat. Hanya sekumpulan langkah dan, 'Creaak...' bunyi pintu di sebelah ventilasi terbuka pelan. "Shite." bisikku. Levi menyadarinya juga. Sontak, kita berdua langsung bergegas. "Hop on, lad." kata Levi berjongkok dan bersiap mendorongku ke atas.

Aku melangkahi lututnya dan langsung melompat ke atas. 'Clank!' "Ow—nearly missed, there."

Aku bergelantungan sembari melihat ke bawah. Shit, the guards will spot us soon. Aku berusaha meraih teralis dengan tangan kananku. "Ugh. Fuck—mate, a little help, would you?" kataku melirik ke bawah. "Fuck! Hurry up, they will spot us soon!" kata Levi separuh berbisik, separuh frustasi.

Levi mendorong badanku ke atas seraya aku meraih—gotcha! Now I have to reach high.

"Good! Come, mate!" kataku kepada Levi di bawah. "Hngh!" erangnya seraya tangan kanannya mencengkeram kedua tanganku kuat-kuat, sembari tangan kirinya meraba-raba tembok. "Hey, what's that noise?" kata penjaga teralihkan. Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Hm? Nothing is there, mate." kata temannya melihat ke arah sini.

"I guess that's just my mind playing games. It's late already, no?" katanya meyakinkan diri sendiri. Aku dan Levi membelakangi tembok ventilasi dan menahan napas dalam-dalam. If we made just one noise, then it's all over for all of us.

"Aku kira mereka sudah pergi." kata Levi kepadaku, setelah beberapa menit berlalu.

"Aku kira begitu." kataku mengiyakan.

"Then what about Messias? We don't have any radio comms now, don't we?" kata Levi. Aku bisa merasakan dia sedikit takut saat ini. "We don't. We just have to watch over him from here, that is." jawabku berusaha tenang. Aku memberikan isyarat kepada Messias. I didn't see any reactions, but he is watching through scope down here, so—'Zing!' suara berdesing melintasi telingaku.

"Oy, what the fucking fuck?!" kataku melihat metal di sebelahku berlubang.

"What happened?" tanya Levi lugu.

"Fucking wanker almost shot me in the head! What the—" kataku sontak berhenti, menyadari betapa kerasnya suara tadi. I hope the guards are far away now. "Jika dia sampai di sini, akan kuremukkan kepalanya dan kubuang di lubang ventilasi ini." gerutuku.

The guards barely notice Messias goin through the open field—guess they're high on drugs.

"Lift me up!" katanya mengulurkan tangan dari bawah. I really don't want to, but I guess I don't have choice. "Ayo naik, bedebah." kataku mengulurkan tangan dengan jari tengah teracung. "You lift that finger up, and I will break your finger's bone." kata Messias dari bawah. "Get up, already."

"Kalian berdua benar-benar harus berdamai sebentar—paling tidak, semenit ini saja." kata Levi.

"Yeah, he—" 'ungh!' "He did it first." jawabku seraya menarik Messias ke atas. "No. I gave you a signal. That was the best i could do." "A fucking near-headshot?!" teriakku separuh berbisik, tidak setuju. "Aku tidak punya senter, William. Anggaplah itu melatih refleksmu." katanya santai sembari memasuki ventilasi udara.

"This day or the others, I am going to murder you with a fucking trowel." bisikku seraya masuk.

"That day," jawab Messias menahan langkahnya sebentar, "will have to wait, then."

"Could you guys stop it with this entire thing?" kata Levi di belakang, menunggu kita untuk berjalan lebih cepat. "Dia yang memulainya duluan." kataku lagi. "It doesn't matter who started it, for the love of God." jawab Levi lelah. "For the record—he did." tukasku sebelum masuk ke ventilasi.

Aku bisa melihat Levi menghela napas panjang dan menutup matanya sebentar. He must've grown tried of this bollocks.

'Shmuck—crackle!' Suara sepatuku menyentuh daun-daun kering dan menghancurkannya membuatku menyadari—di sini benar-benar sempit, dan hening. Lubang ventilasi yang hanya terarah lurus membuatku menyadari, apakah James benar-benar melupakan penjagaan sekitar ventilasi ini, atau kita sedang dijebak? But then again, I have been skeptical about a whole lot of things in my life, which apparently, is not true. So I'll just stick to me being paranoid, that's it.

"How long the vent goes?" tanya Levi di belakangku.

"Mate, we've just entered a bloody minute ago." jawabku.

"Sekarang kalian berdua yang harus diam." kata Messias di depanku. "Oh, jadi kamu setuju kalau kamu yang menyebabkan seluruh keributan tadi?" balasku melihat pantatnya. It doesn't feel right, talking to a buttocks. "I am sorry, then." katanya menghela napas. "That sorry doesn't feel sincere—but anyway, apology accepted." kataku menyerah.

"That feels like an exit." kata Messias melihat cahaya di ujung tutup ventilasi. "Great. I suffocate from time to time in here." kataku berlagak kehabisan napas. "Sejak kapan kamu menjadi badut?" tanya Messias menoleh ke belakang. "Can you try to just move forward? Every time you stopped, I have to smack me face unto your arse." "Guys, I heard a voice—" Kita langsung berhenti.

"So, Mr. Church decidedly murder everyone in the past missions?" kata suara di bawah.

" Aye. He says it's get rid of all loose ends." kata seseorang yang lain.

"But doesn't that mean that we will become loose ends in the future?"

"Are you talking about future, now? Us? You have to be taking a piss, lad."

"Oke. Sudah cukup mendengarkannya. Ayo kita maju. Jalan keluar tidak jauh lagi." kata Messias merusak suasana. "Shh! Listen closely." tukas Levi tidak setuju. They're talking about something else. "And what about that Saul lad?"

What?

I looked at Levi—he's never been so intense before. Messias berhenti sejenak. "I hear lad's going down, too." kata suara di bawah. "Means he will be one of the people getting rid of." Aku melihat lagi muka Levi. Merah padam. I've seen that face before—it's my face after leaving prison, and Jehova's face after the whole villa incident, just a little while ago.

It's the face of someone not accepting their fate; the face of continuous anger.

"Mate," kataku berbisik pada Levi, "You need to calm down. Take a deep breath, and carry on." bisikku pelan. "He was my brother." katanya dengan mata yang juga memerah—I knew i saw a single tick of tear dropping out of his eyes. "And he was my dear boy. There might be enough time left—come on." kataku menghiburnya, sembari melihat Messias dan mengangguk pelan.

Messias mengangguk dan mulai berjalan lagi. Samar-samar suara mereka msih terdengar, walau semakin pelan. "...that lad is on bed for the past three months. Coma, I presume?... Aku tidak bisa mendengar sisanya, walaupun aku tahu pasti apa yang akan aku lakukan pada James.

Tidak terasa, sekujur mukaku menjadi merah padam.

"Eugh...it's nailed down." kata Messias memegangi tutup ventilasi. "Shoot off the bolt, mate." "At which angle will it hit the bolt from where we are right now? and in case you forgotten, we are as trapped as a mouse." jawabnya panjang lebar. A simple no would have been enough.

"Gunakan pisaumu, Messias." kata Levi dari belakang.

"If only it's that eaasy—grinding it down will just arouse suspicions."

"Arouse? What the—kniving it down will do just right. It's just a metal...grate, don't it?" kataku menawarkan solusi, karena di sini sudah sangat panas dan aku rindu zona privasiku. "Alright then. Wouldn't hurt trying." kata Messias meraih pisau di kakinya. "A little help?"

"You fucking muppet." kataku meraih pisau di kakinya. Ugh, his foot is so dirty, goddammit.

"Much appreciated, lad." jawabnya.

"It would help me so much if you stopped flailing about—your arse arouse me."

"Enough with the arousing thing already, mate. Get it, come on."

Aku mengambil pisau dari saku kakinya dan memberikannya kepada Messias. "Ini dia—hati-hati, masih ada beberapa bulu kaki yang tersangkut di dalamnya." "Sangat lucu, William." jawabnya menggerus ventilasi. Somehow, this plan felt mediocre. Not the type of plan we used to do all the time, but then again—I wouldn't mind anything to get the hell out of here, really.

"Hang on, just a little more..." ucap Messias selagi menggerus besi-besi itu.

"The sitrep is not helping at all." kataku.

"Ditto." jawab Levi ikut serta di percakapan ini.

"Then have a good time looking at my beautiful arse." You bloody wanker. 'Crink!' 'Shank!' Terbuka. Akhirnya. "Alright. Let's get the hell out of here." kataku tidak sabar, merayap menuju arah keluar. "Whoa, mate! Me first, there's not enough room for both of us." sela Messias menghalangi mukaku. It feels like his arse is blocking the way.

"Do hurry up, then." kataku menunjuk lubang keluar, menyuruhnya bergegas.

'Swish! Clack!' suara lompatan dan kedua kakinya yang menyentuh lantai membuatku semakin ingin keluar. 'Swish! Clack!' "Ah, it feels good to be outisde—what a fresh breath of air, this is." kataku menghela napas dalam-dalam, ahirnya terbebas dari apitan dua laki-laki dewasa. 'Swish! Clack!' Levi terakhir turun, dan membershikan bajunya.

"So what's next for us?" kata Levi menatapku. "We stick to the plan." "Reload, everybody." kata Messias mengisi ulang amunisinya. I hope he doesn't unload it unto my face again.

"Tapi, ini di mana? Kamu yakin kita berada di tempat yang tepat?" kata Messias melihat sekeliling. "Isn't this the new tunnel leading to armory?" kata Levi melihat pintu besar di ujung kiri lorong. "Mate's right," kataku menuding Levi. "There's a lot going on since you left, you know."

"Yeah, figures. Lead the way, William." tukas Messias tanpa basa-basi.

"Armory's on the left there—so we have to go to the right. Carry on." kataku sembari memimpin.

"Come on, we have to hasten up!" kataku berlari. "Hey, what the—" 'Pew!' Kepala. Baguslah. "Carry on!" kataku kepada yang lain. 'Clunk! Clunk!' suara sepatu menghantam lantai dengan keras—aku kira kita sudah tidak bisa lagi melanjutkan misi dengan diam-diam. It's time to wreak havoc.

Lima penjaga di depan. Shite. They spotted us! "Oy, hold it, you!" kata salah satu dari mereka kepada kita yang berlari mendekat. Too late now. Pikirku seraya membidik—Messias mendahuluiku sembari mencengkeram selempang shotgunnya. "Cover me!"

"Open fire—" 'Bang!! Bang!!' suara mesiu memenuhi ruangan dengan cepat. "Ugh! Argh!" Satu-persatu penjaga bertumbangan. 'Pew! Pew!' suara peredam pistolku masih membuat ruangan berisik. "Levi! Open fire, now!" kataku kepada Levi yang masih sedikit takut.

"Got it!" katanya membidik.

"All dead—come on, lead the way, William!" teriak Messias tiba-tiba.

"Aye. Keep up!" balasku sembari berlari lagi ke depan. Lorong sudah hampir berakhir. Perempatan pertama. Ke mana seharusnya kita pergi? Aku harus berpikir cepat. "Kanan!" sahutku cepat, diikuti dengan yang lain dari belakang.

"Where are the others?!" teriak Levi sambil berlari cepat. "Quit thinking about it! Run it, we don't have much time before—" 'Beep!' 'Beep!' 'Beep!' Sontak, seisi lampu ruangan menjadi terang-benderang dan semua sirene berbunyi kencang.

That's it. The window is over. From now on—it's pure gambling on life.

Aku langsung mengambil senapan mesin di punggungku dan berlari lebih kencang lagi. 'Hosh! Hosh!' suara napasku semakin terdengar keras—aku akan pingsan sebentar lagi, jika tidak ada jeda waktu untuk berhenti. The canteen! Finally, not a tunnel. If we're quick enough, we can catch a break and rendezvous with others.

"Tembak!" kata suara dari atas. Shit! "Second floor!" kata Messias menggulingkan meja kantin. 'Ratatatatata!' Fuck! Aku langsung berlindung dari balik bilik kasir. Levi juga meloncat menuju ke balik bilik. "Argh!" teriak Levi.

"Fuck! You got hit?!" teriakku diiringi desingan peluru di mana-mana.

"In the legs...Urgh! I think I'm alright." erangnya seraya mengambil kain serbet di dekat kasir.

They've gone quiet. 'Clank!' Suara itu—fuck! "Grenade!" teriakku mendorong kita berdua ke ujung bilik. 'Blaam!!' suara ledakan mengiringi erangan Levi yang semakin keras. 'Bang!!' 'Bang!!' suara shotgun—I guess Messias is providing cover fire. Now or never, then.

Aku membidik senapan mesin ke seluruh lantai dua yang tertutupi oleh panel-panel besi. That's enough—it will pierce them to death. 'Gradadadadadadada!!' suara peluru besar berdesing bergaung keras membuat tuli telingaku.

"Messias! Tangganya di sebelahmu! Habisi mereka!" teriakku kepada Messias yang mengisi ulang senjatanya. Messias memberikan isyarat setuju—lalu bergegas naik. Seketika hening. Mereka pasti menunggu saat yang pas untuk menyerang. Aku kembali ke bilik dan melempar granat ke pojok lantai dua.

"You alright?" kataku kepada Levi yang masih memegangi kakinya. "A little bit...we should, we should continue." "You can keep up?" tanyaku serius. Levi mengangguk dan mencoba berdiri. "Wait, stay down." kataku menghentikan langkahnya.

Aku mengecek ke atas. Tidak ada suara—'Swish!' "Argh!" "Nooo—" 'Thwomp!' Wow. Messias baru saja membanting penjaga ke lantai satu. That looks painful as hell. No time—I have to cover him immediately. Pikirku menuju lantai kedua. Aku lihat panel-panel itu sudah berlubang dan mayat berserakan di mana-mana.

I knew that bringing heavy artillery to a gun fight would come in handy.

"Semua?" kataku kepada Messias yang masih melihat penjaga yang jatuh itu. "Semua." tukasnya simpel. "Alright then—carrying on." kataku sembari beranjak turun. Aku harap tidak ada lagi kejutan tidak baik lainnya. Aku harus memikirkan strategi yang baik selagi yang lain masih belum sampai di sini—atau jangan-jangan?

"Levi! Ayo, kita harus bergegas." kataku pada Levi yang masih menyeimbangkan badannya.

"Got it. Lead the way, I'll follow." tukasnya lagi. Everybody is being so obedient, I love it.

"Alright. Ahead, everyone." kataku lagi, menyiagakan pistolku. I knew more will come, but apparently, even now, we're running out of options. Aku berlari kecil menuju pintu keluar kantin, menuju perempatan akademi dan tempat berlatih.

"Perempatan kedua—kiri!" kataku kepada yang lain. I feel inspired because of Levi. Despite getting his leg shot at, he still run relentlessly. What a spirited lad. That, or maybe he's afraid to die.

"Penjaga. Arah jam sembilan." kata Messias mengambil selempang shotgun.

"Got it. Engage." bisikku pelan. Mereka bersiaga, tapi mereka belum melihat kita. And the fact that we're in a big room makes it that much harder to spot us. Aku melihat mereka dengan seksama selagi kita semua bersembunyi di balik tembok.

"Five. All loaded—machine guns. Clearly not a patrol guard, that is." bisik Messias.

"Oh great. All the more burden to have." kata Levi bersandar ke tembok dan memijat kakinya.

"Lima orang jelas bukan penjaga biasa. Mereka dikirim untuk menghabisi kita." jawabku mencoba realistis dengan situasi ini. "Pilihan, pilihan. Apa yang kita punya?" tanyaku kepada yang lain.

"Flanking is definitely not an option. We'll be full of holes before we get the best of them," kata Levi menjabarkan strategi, "I got two options—one, you two, mark two men each and eliminate them in an instant, and the one left will be caught in the crossfire immediately." katanya menunjuk kita berdua. I seem to forget his part on this plan. But whatever.

"Number two," sambungnya menaikkan dua jari, "You cook a grenade and throw it at them. If it work wonders, it will explode before it hit the ground—and the ones left will be caught, too, in the crossfire." kata Levi serius.

"Kelihatannya kedua rencana ini tidak membutuhkan partisipasimu secara aktif." kata Messias dengan sarkas. "Hey, I'm the one making plans. I've already played my part." jawab Levi menaikkan kedua bahunya.

"We'll do both." kataku setelah selesai berpikir matang-matang. "What?!" bisik mereka berdua nyaris bersamaan. "You hear me right on this one." kataku lagi menopangkan dagu di tanganku. "Rencana yang bagus adalah rencana tak terduga dari situasi yang ada."

"Where do I hear this one before—oh, right! Poker and casino games." kata Levi acuh.

"Gambling is where it's at, boy. If we're taking choices at life, it's do or die." jawabku tidak mau kalah. "So hear me out," sambungku menundukkan kepala, "They're still here. They will probably sweep every corners. So we have a window while they're busy checking corners. Aim their behind while cooking a grenade, and rain them. They'll be occupied with covering fire, they wouldn't know about the second coming." ucapku menjelaskan panjang lebar.

"Not bad. You are a genius, eh." kata Messias terkejut.

"Not the best moment for flattery, don't you think so?"

"I cook the grenade. You start with rapidly firing your weapon at them." kata Messias mengambil granat dari balik jaketnya. "Oh, don't worry," kataku mengambil senapan mesin, "I got that covered."

Messias mencabut pin granat selagi menghitung mundur. "Seven, six, five—now!" Messias melempar granatnya dengan penuh tenaga. Aku langsung membidik. 'Gradadadadadadadada!!' suara desing peluru ini tidak pernah berhenti mengundang decak kagumku.

"Take cover! Take cover!" kata seseorang di sana—sepertinya pemimpin tim mereka.

'Gradadadada...' "Fuck! I'm out!" teriakku sedikit panik, walaupun aku sudah tahu rencananya. Mereka akan mendengar teriakanku, keluar untuk membalas, dan...

'Blam!!' suara ledakan besar terdengar jauh sampai ke tembok kita yang berada di ujung yang berbeda. There's a window! "Flanking! You take the other side!" kata Messias berlari cepat, menyerang mereka dari sisi kiri. Aku berlari ke sisi yang berbeda.

'Cuh-click!' Messias mengokang shotgunnya. He'll get all the aggro towards him.

I have to make this count. Aku langsung meluncur ke samping pilar-pilar tempat mereka bersembunyi. One. Two. 'Pew! Pew!' "Ugh..." Satu terjatuh. Tapi aku tidak berhasil mengenai kepalanya. "Behind us—" 'Bang!!' Wow. Dia langsung terjerembab jatuh. Kerja bagus, Messias.

Aku berlari menghampiri penjaga yang baru saja kutembak. Dia membidikku—'Bang!' "Ungh!" Untunglah aku berhasil mendorong pergelangan tangannya. 'Bang! Bang! Bang Bang!' Aku mencoba menghabiskan seluruh magasinnya sebelum dia melubangi kepalaku.

"Urghhh!" erang penjaga itu mencoba membalikkan arah moncong pistolnya ke wajahku. Messias. Dimana Messias?! "Die—" 'Bang!!' Sontak dia langsung terjungkal dan mencium tanah. "Sorry. No clean shot." kata Messias dengan asap masih mengepul dari moncong senjatanya.

Aku mengangguk lemah. Saatnya menjarah mayat mereka—aku butuh amunisi.

"Running low?" tanya Messias menghampiriku yang mengecek setiap saku dan kantong mereka. "Shut up." "Come to think of it, where are they?" tanyanya melihat sekeliling. "It felt empty without them."

"We're taking different routes, which means we start at different points." kataku menjelaskan.

"Oh," jawab Messias berpikir, "So that means we don't get to meet them?" Aku mengangguk. "That is, until we meet at the rendezvous point. I believe it's the T-junction just up ahead." sambungku masih menjarah mayat yang lain.

"Aku lebih baik kembali dan mengecek Levi. Boy can't defend himself." ucap Messias.

"Be my guest." jawabku tidak peduli—pasukan ini sedikit sekali amunisinya. Miris.

"Levi?" ujar Messias melihat ke pojok dinding. "Oy." "Yeah, you're alright—that's fine. Come on, let's move forward." jawab Messias lega. "Oh, berita bagus. Ayo—aku mendapatkan banyak memori buruk di tempat ini." katanya sembari berjalan pincang.

"Guys, let's carry on!" teriakku berajak turun dari lantai dua. "Aye, aye. We're going, alright." jawab Messias. "Reload, mate. You don't know what's coming next." ujar Messias pada Levi. "Tapi aku sama sekali tidak mengeluarkan satupun peluru." "Aku tahu—itu adalah sebuah lelucon." "Apa—dimana lucunya?!" tanya Levi bingung.

"Forget it. Carrying on." kata Messias pura-pura tidak tahu. Lad has no sense of humour.

Aku beranjak dan membuka pintu keluar kantin. "Try to keep up." kataku ke belakang. "Boy, don't worry about us." jawab Messias tidak mau dimanja. "Yeah, you especially—I can see your hair turning grey already."

"Isn't that Simon on the T-junction ahead?" tunjuk Levi. Aku langsung menoleh. "Simon!" teriakku ke seorang laki-laki yang bersiaga di pertigaan di depan. I hope it's him. Because if it's false alarm, I'd rather be dead getting shot at than embarassed.

Laki-laki itu menoleh. "Boss!" teriaknya kencang. Ah, thank god. Di belakangnya, Prophet dan Jehova menurunkan bidikannya. Ah, it's good to have a little breathing time. Aku langsung memeluknya dan bertanya, "Everyone's alright?" "Never have been better." jawab Prophet. "Euh—I didn't ask you, but okay." jawabku memandang sinis.

"Alright, gentlemen—cut the crap." kata Prophet.

"Kantor James tinggal di depan kita, dan banyak sekali orang-orang yang mencari kita sekarang. Beruntunglah akademi ini sangat-sangat besar." lanjutnya lagi. "You are right about that one. We on a helicopter—not a sight to be missed by a lot of people." kata Jehova. "If only we can put silencers on helicopter's blades." ucap Levi tiba-tiba.

"Mate, just shut up—please. I beg you." jawab Simon mengusap-usap kepalanya.

"Speaking of shutting up now, where is the rest of our squad?" tanyaku kepada Prophet.

"You know son, I didn't keep my eyes open. And you guys didn't have communication means." balas Prophet, mencoba adil. "Apakah kita akan menunggu mereka? Atau—" "We'll continue. Besider, the sewer will end up on that drain over there." kata Jehova menuding toilet pria.

"The toilet?"

"Precisely, the men's toilet. The worst of them all." kata Jehova menaikkan kedua alisnya.

"I hear the snipers shit with their guns out." kata Levi. "Judas will stay alert in heaven, then. Maybe he can even shoot the priests of old." jawabku. "Getting out of topic, here. Come, let's carry on." kata Prophet memimpin jalan ke depan.

Kita berjalan ke depan—semua bersiaga dan sangat-sangat waspada, and as the road branches, I began having second thoughts."What's on your mind, boss?" kata Simon melihat wajahku. He definitely know I am hesitating.

"You thinking of going in?" kata Simon pelan.

"Yes, son. I am." kataku melihat plakat besar di atasnya. It's the morgue.

"Are you ready for whatever it is inside?"

"I am not. But then again—will I ever going to be ready?" tukasku lemah. I'm going in. I know it.

"Semuanya, siap?" kata Prophet mengecek untuk terakhir kalinya. "You guys go ahead. I'm going to take a little detour." kataku dari belakang. "You having second thoughts, now?" "No, it's not that. I have to make sure of one little thing." "I guess I can't stop you, then. Join us whenever you can." katanya seraya bergerak ke depan. "Let's go, people!" teriaknya mengajak yang lain masuk.

"Boss," kata Simon masih di sebelahku, "Brace yourself. No one knows his fate, you know."

"I know, kid. I know." kataku memastikan diri sekali lagi. Yup. I am ready.

"I'll be joining the others." kata Simon lagi. Aku mengangguk lemah, lalu mengambil jalan yang berbeda dengan yang lain. Aku membuka pintu kamar mayat pelan-pelan. 'Creaaak!' engsel metalnya berbunyi dengan keras. Thankfully, no one's inside. I'm preparing my gun.

There's only one corpse that hasn't been put down in the cold chambers. It has been covered with cloth, so I guess the death was pretty recent. Aku benci tempat ini. I used to be gun-banging everyone and left the crime scene pretty swiftly. This place is the exact opposite of my lifestyle.

Aku menghampiri mayat itu. Tidak ada tanda pengenal di jempol kakinya.

Then I opened the cloth slowly. "Sudah kuduga." kataku pelan. Perlahan, aku merasakan air mata jatuh di pipiku. "Boy, how I have missed you...now, you left me here. I missed you. I missed your cheerful self." aku berkata sesenggukan.

Now, you are free. Pick a life you want up there. Judas might share a story or two.

Aku menutup kainnya lagi dan beranjak pergi dari ruang mayat. I can't hold myself any longer now. All this time, I thought I'd be back in here, living my usual life with my boys—turns out, that dream was out of reach from the very start. I fucking hate this godforsaken place.

'Creaaak!' suara engsel pintu terdengar lagi. Now to close a chapter in my life.

Aku menghela napas panjang, melihat seluruh ruangan ini, dan pergi menyusul yang lainnya. What a life, indeed. Never thought I played it this way. Aku membuka pintunya, melihat yang lainnya sedang berkumpul—mengisi ulang seluruh amunisi mereka. So I haven't missed a thing.

"Done already?" kata Simon melihatku seraya mengisi ulang pistolnya.

"Wha—who, oh boss!" kata Benedict. "Good to see you back."

"Same, Benedict. Same." kataku menghampiri Simon dan duduk di sebelahnya. "Not reloading?" "All done, actually." balasku dengan tatapan kosong. "Jadi, dia—" "Aku belum mampu mengatakannya, Simon. Jangan bilang pada siapapun. Apalagi Levi." bisikku serius. Simon mengambil napas panjang, lalu menundukkan kepalanya. "Got it, boss."

"Word is that every guard gathered on James's office." kata Jehova tiba-tiba.

"And where do you get that word, actually?" tanya Levi.

"I grabbed the guard's walkie-talkie." balasnya bangga. "We'll be walking right to a trap, then." ucap Benedict. "A deathwish." "Not if we can prevent it." tukas Prophet mengakhiri ketakutan semua orang. "We need to come up with a plan." "With a bunker like Christ's? I'd say we figure out how to open the door first." jawab Luke skeptis.

"Aku punya kuncinya." kata Prophet lagi. This old chap is just, godlike. He think things I don't.

"Talk about being a klepto." ejek Thomas.

"Yah, kalian semua menjarah musuh kalian saat amunisi kalian habis, jadi apa bedanya? Aku hanya mengambil satu kunci." jawabnya tenang. "You know, he's right though." kata Levi sembari menoleh ke Thomas. "Hey, don't pull yourself out! You intels are digging informations too—isn't that stealing?" balas Thomas, masih tidak mau kalah.

"I wouldn't call that stealing. It's the art of torturing combined with sharp mind." kata Benedict.

"Agree." sambung Levi setuju.

"Kalian semua sudah siap? Ayo kita maju." tukas Prophet. Semuanya mengangguk. We know we're walking into an obvious trap, and somehow, it doesn't bother anyone at all. We are prepared for death, apparently. "William," kata Thomas mendekatiku, "Aku pikir kamu tidak seharusnya menyembunyikan hal ini dari semua orang—terutama Levi." sambungnya berbisik dari dekat.

"Wait, how do you know it? Simon is loud mouthed, alright." gerutuku.

"That's not me point, mate. And you know that." jawab Thomas. "Do the right thing."

"I guess you're right. Time to spill the news." kataku setelah berpikir masak-masak. I just hope he's ready. "Everyone!" teriakku kepada yang lain, "Hear me for a little bit, now."

"What is it?" kata Levi tidak tahu apa-apa. Fuck. I hate to be the bad guy here. "it's just that, uh," Sial. Aku tidak tahu harus memulai dari mana. "Aku harap kalian bisa berbesar hati—aku punya berita buruk."

"I think I know where this is going." kata Benedict menghela napas. Aku bisa melihat Thomas tersenyum kecut. "Yeah," kataku pelan, "I went to the morgue—and, and...'phew' Saul's dead." sambungku lebih pelan lagi.

"I am sorry."

"Don't be, mate—we all lost our boys. Be it on the battlefield, on the deathbed, wherever." sahut Jehova. "You stuck up to me when John died. We all how it felt." sambungnya lagi, seraya melipat kedua tangannya. Aku mengangguk lemah.

"He was a good friend." kata Simon.

"And a good soldier." lanjut Luke.

"We all do truly lost our loved ones," kata Levi pelan, "But we have to move on. To avenge him or not, to live his legacy or not—life moves on." ucapnya dengan melihat semua orang. Everybody knows, he's the only one who ever treats Saul like a brother, like a brethren.

"Dan aku akan melanjutkan hidup dengan mengingatnya." sambungnya lagi.

"Before we do our last mission, I suggest we pray—whether you believe in God or not." kata Thomas.

"Agree." kataku setuju. I know he meant those last words for me—what a cunt.

"Right ahead. Sama seperti bagian terakhir dari rencanaku—buka pintu di ujung jalan." kata Prophet menuding pintu besi besar di depan. "Goddammit, that is...extraordinarily massive." ucap Luke terpana.

"You okay, mate?" kata Simon menghampiri Levi.

"Yeah, yeah, of cours—I, uh, I was—I mean, I am, I am, fine. Yes. I am fine." jawab Levi gagap.

"Untuk seseorang yang cerewet, menjadi gagap adalah indikator pertama kamu tidak sedang baik-baik saja." kata Simon tidak percaya jawaban Levi. And lad's right. Levi has been staring emptily and pretty much just—lost it. "Levi." kataku juga menghampirinya.

"Kamu tahu, saat Judas meninggalkan kita, aku benar-benar hancur." kataku menatapnya dalam-dalam. Lad's almost crying—yeah, I can see myself hidden beneath those eyes. Levi is a mirrored version of me. Once happy and cheerful, now blown and being rebuild as a completely different person.

"So destroyed, I almost want to kill myself." lanjutku lagi. "But that's not the point. Judas died for us, he truly is. Everyone has worked towards the very same goal—they wanted to be free." aku terus berucap sementara Levi masih saja terdiam.

"Saul pun begitu." tukasku.

"Apakah aku merindukannya? Sangat." sambungku mengingat anakku yang belum lama bersama-samaku dalam karirku. "Tapi aku yakin, Saul tidak akan menginginkan kita untuk menyusulnya—paling tidak untuk saat ini."

"So, you believe he's actually watching us right now?"

"Damn right I do." jawabku pelan.

"Even at times when we were wanking off?"

Aku tersenyum. "Akhirnya, Levi yang aku kenal kembali. Mari kita selesaikan perjalanan kita."

Levi tersenyum simpul dan mengangguk lemah. It has been hard, it has certainly been tough for all of us. Life is hard for all of us. Always have been, and always will be. Not at the expense of another's life will I do it all over again. Maybe the answer I am looking for is just towards that door. I once demanded answers from James, and I ended up living a wrong life, illusioned by my comfort of what I knows and what I don't want to know. Maybe my life is there, waiting.

'Click!' "Pintunya terbuka! Ayo masuk!" teriak Prophet setelah memencet kombinasi.

Maybe.

'Creak!' suara besi pintu itu terbuka dengan cepat. Sepertinya dibuka dari dalam. Fuck! Aku langsung membidik. Yang lain pun juga membidik. "Seems quiet." kata Prophet masuk duluan. "That's why you needed us to—" "No, it seems quiet for a reason. He's—"

"He's waiting for us. Right?" kataku menyimpulkan.

"Aye. Or not. Whatever it is, stay alert." jawab Prophet lagi.

Seems like both of us has been in this situation. The question is, what the hell is James up to? "Sudah berdoa pada Tuhan?" tanya Thomas lagi. "Thomas, aku sudah katakan—aku tak percaya tuhan atau apapun itu." tukasku capek dengan pertanyaan ini.

"You know, I once read a book that the religion up above used to read—they have a bible and they have this God they call Jesus." ujar Thomas bersemangat. For a lad ready to meet his death, he is pretty positive. Maybe he really into this jesus thing.

"Kamu tahu, dulu ada anak akademi—yang berasal dari dunia seberang, namanya pun Jesuit."

"Jesuit si penembak jitu. Yah, dia mati saat timnya mengincar Raymond Drew." balas Thomas.

"Raymond Drew, si petinju itu? Kabarnya dia adalah target kelas atas." kataku terkejut. Si Jesuit, anak introvert dulu itu, ternyata sejago itu. Yah, walaupun akhirnya mati juga. "Ya, Jesuit yang itu. Kamu tahu, dia juga mengajariku tentang agama si Yesus yang lain itu."

"Getting a little bit confused here." balasku seraya tetap membidik di dalam bunker James.

"Yah, begitulah. Mungkin lain kali saja kita membicarakan hal ini." tukas Thomas ke depanku.

He has so much stories that he put on hold for me. I wonder if he ever remembers some of them? Nah. I guess not. Pikirku seraya mengikuti formasi di depan. Prophet masih saja membidik ke depan seraya berjalan dengan pelan. Dengan formasi bergerombol ini, satu granat akan cukup untuk menghabisi kita semua.

'Clank!' "There!" 'Bang! Bang! Bang!' 'Bang! Bang!' 'Bang! Bang! Bang!' 'Bang!' 'Bang! Bang! Bang!' suara pistol semua orang saling bersahutan. "Stop—stop!" teriak Prophet mengacungkan tangannya. Untung saja lengannya tidak terkena peluru kita yang memberondong semua tempat.

"Apa itu tadi?" tanya Luke.

"Itu—aku tidak yakin. Di sini gelap." kata Prophet memicingkan mata.

Yeah, well, it is dark in here alright. But the point is not that. This looks like your ordinary bunker, with a tunnel connecting the outside door to the main lounge. Lounge, is it? "Dekati saja. Di situasi ini, lebih baik mencari tahu ketimbang menyesal." kataku masih membidik arah datangnya suara tadi. "Setuju." kata Simon.

"Well, whatever it is, I bet it's dead now." kata Thomas di belakangku.

"Then why are you covering behind me, you bloody bastard."

"Oke, William. Kamu di depan, kalau begitu." kata Prophet juga berbaris rapi di belakangku. "How could you." kataku tidak percaya, sembari menggeleng-gelengkan kepala. All it takes is a random noise out of nowhere and people lose their freaking minds. I guess if they believe in god, believing in ghosts and devils alike is wrapped under one package. Fraidy cat, they are.

"Sepertinya itu hanya suara." kata Benedict di belakang. Hell, everyone's behind me now.

"Have I told you, you're a genius?" kataku seraya tersenyum ke arah Benedict.

"Heads up, lad. Look ahead or you might hit a pipe or something." ucap Thomas.

Aku melihat ke depan. Shit, it was as dark as black itself. "Isn't this supposed to be a tunnel? Why is it over a couple metres long in width?" tanyaku kepada Prophet. "Well, rich people love their excess of everything." jawabnya simpel. Yah, aku lupa kalau Prophet sendiri dulunya tinggal di sebuah mansion yang mewah. Before it gets burned to the ground.

"Aku pikir kita lupakan saja semua kegaduhan ini." ujar Luke. I can sense he's afraid.

"Agree." sambung Levi.

"Bukannya kalian hanya takut?" tanya Jehova menoleh. "Akui saja, Jehova. Kamu juga pasti kencing di celana tadi." kata Thomas menepuk pundak Jehova. "Isn't that you?" "Now, that's just low." "What? You started it—"

"Cut it out, you childs." tukasku masih penasaran dengan asal bunyi itu.

"How about you go, William?" kata Prophet di paling belakang. Oh great. He's scared too.

"You know what—I will." kataku mengambil komando dan melangkah ke depan. Aku bergerak perlahan, sampai-sampai aku tidak bisa mendengar suara langkah kakiku sendiri. Wait. "Hey!" teriakku menoleh ke belakang. "Am I all alone in this?!"

"Aku tahu kamu bisa, William." jawab Thomas mengangguk seraya mengacungkan jempolnya. "We'll be taking the direct route to James. We'll meet soon after." sambungnya tanpa rasa bersalah. Fuck you guys.

"Alright, I'll do it alone, then—all by myself." gerutuku masih maju ke depan—persetan mereka.

Shit. It is darker the more you delve deep in it. I just can't understand why I'm all alone in this. They murdered people and seen crazy shit and this is what they all scared about? Bollocks, I'd say. "Halo?" kataku putus asa. Paling tidak, kalau aku akan dibunuh, aku sempat berkata sesuatu.

"Oy, mate." bisik suara di kegelapan yang dalam itu. What?

"What? You heard me? Never mind that. Who are you?" jawabku sedikit panik.

"William. Aku kira kamu mati saat mengincar Blackriver." katanya lagi.

Aku terdiam sejenak.

"Are you an assassin?" "Just like you." "Then show yourself, mate." kataku mulai bersiap membidik dengan pistol. I don't believe any shit this lad has said. But he knew about Blackriver. Not much people know that—in fact, nobody know that. Besides the victim, the executor, the assassin and the bodyguards, nobody else remains. Time to take a gamble.

"Jika kamu tidak menunjukkan wajahmu, aku akan menembakmu sekarang."

"Sabar, William. Tidak baik untuk bertaruh hidup."

"Jangan menyuruhku sabar sekarang." kataku semakin menaikkan bidikanku. If he fools around one more time now, I'll be raining bullets at him. "It's me," kata orang itu dari balik kegelapan, "Don't shoot! I'm unarmed. I'll raise both my hands. Okay?" "Okay." kataku masih tidak percaya.

"It's been a while. You alright, mate?" kata sesosok manusia keluar dari kegelapan.

I cannot believe my eyes. "Apa? Jesuit?" kataku kebingungan. I thought he's dead.

"You still remember me, then." katanya menurunkan tangan. "Yeah, but of course! Oh, wow—I'm shocked. How you doing?" kataku masih tidak percaya. "Alright." katanya tersenyum simpul. He is not alright. At all. He's really skinny, he's reduced to almost his bones. His cheekbones and his eyesockets were so tight, he resembles a skeleton.

"Kenapa kamu ada di sini?" tanyaku lagi. "James mengurung kita semua. Ini adalah jebakan, temanku." katanya santai. "Wait, what? What do you even mean?" tanyaku lagi. Shit. This is happening. "You know well what I mean, lad." "No, no, no—you're lying, don't you?"

"William, lihatlah aku. Apakah aku baik-baik saja?"

"You seem to be doing fine for a dead man." kataku melihatnya dari ujung mata sampai kaki.

"Sangat lucu," jawabnya tak puas, "William, dengarkan. Aku bisa menunjukkan kamu cara menghabisi James." katanya memegang kedua pundakku. His boney hands grasp firmly. It felt like the touch of a zombie. "Dan bagaimana itu?" kataku lagi.

"Di bunker ini ada sebuah lubang yang hanya segelintir orang tahu." "Segelintir?" tanyaku penasaran, "What do you mean by that?" Jesuit hanya tertawa. "You really have no idea what is going on here, huh?"

Aku menggelengkan kepala.

"They thought you died, mate. That's why they stopped looking for you. For the rest of us that fails a mission—well, let's just say it's not as pretty as it seems." katanya menjelaskan panjang lebar. Tatap sayu dari matanya menunjukkan kalau dia sudah lelah dengan semua ini. What a poor lad. What a poor, poor lad. "Aku tahu James adalah bajingan." kataku entah dari mana.

"Aku tahu kamu mengerti. Ayo, aku akan tunjukkan senjata pamungkasku." katanya kembali ke kegelapan tadi—hanya kali ini, aku harus mengikutinya dari belakang. "Where are you taking me?" tanyaku melihat sekeliling. Tidak terlihat apa-apa di mataku. Hanya segundukan warna hitam dengan kegelapan yang berbeda-beda.

"Just go on straight, mate. We're almost there."

"And how could I know if I could trust you?" curigaku sembari memegang erat pistolku.

"Kamu melihat kondisiku, William. Aku sebentar lagi akan mati. Yang aku mau hanyalah menyeret bajingan itu ikut serta ke neraka." geramnya—yang dengan kondisi badannya itu, hanya terdengar seperti auman macan lemah. He really has lost his mind, doesn't it? I hope he's right by avenging James. Because if it's another way around, I'm pretty much fucked up.

"Apakah kamu yakin?" tanyaku seraya meraba dalam kegelapan.

"Apa maksudmu?" jawabnya, juga dalam kegelapan. Shit, I feel like I'm blind as a bat.

"Apakah kamu—lupakan. Are we there yet?" jawabku tidak mau basa-basi. Where is this place he's been talking about and why it took so long to get there? I am famished, and scared. "Di sini." katanya pelan. 'Creaaaak....' bunyi besi engsel tua terdengar. Perlahan, secercah sinar terlihat. Dan aku melihat Jesuit membuka pintu pelan-pelan. He really didn't lie to me, this lad.

"Di sini tempatnya?" kataku membantunya membuka pintu.

"Yep. Here it is—our magnum opus. Our key to defeating him." katanya percaya diri.

"Kalau begitu, ayo lekas masuk." kataku tidak sabar. "Carry on." jawabnya mengikutiku menuju pintu yang terang ini—tampak terang karena lorong-lorong yang gelap. "Yah, di dalam tidak seburuk kelihatannya." kataku melihat sekeliling. 'Blam.' bunyi pintu ditutup oleh Jesuit.

But hell, nobody else is here. It felt creepy somehow.

"Tempat apa ini?" tanyaku melihat sekeliling—lantai dan langit-langitnya hanya disemen. Bahkan semennya tidak rata, dan beberapa sudah retak. Ada beberapa lubang di tembok, beberapa kecil dan besar. "Tempat ini adalah harapan kami." kata Jesuit lagi. "Apa maksudmu?"

"Di sini adalah tempat kami selalu berusaha keluar." katanya melihat lubang-lubang di tembok.

"You mean—you were trapped, somehow? There?" kataku menunjuk lubang-lubang ini,

"Ya, benar." jawab Jesuit mengangguk. "Kau lihat lubang besar di kananmu?" katanya menunjuk sebelah kananku. Aku menoleh. Lubang yang paling besar daibanding yang lain, seukuran pinggang orang dewasa. Oh, wow. They must've been desperate. Aku melongok ke dalam. "What the—fuck! What is this smell?!" teriakku sontak menutup hidungku. "That must have been the corpses." "What?"

"Adven, Abednego, dan si kembar Assisi dan Sisili mati di sana."

What in the name of god. Their corpses was just there, laying all over the place. Aku jijik, tapi juga muak. Turns out the worst of them all is really James, after all. "May they rest in peace." kataku melihat Jesuit dalam-dalam. "May Jesus bless them." "Jesus?" tanyaku penasaran.

"Kau tidak tahu? Oh, tentu saja. Kamu sering pergi untuk banyak misi."

"Aku tahu tentang Kristen, tapi tidak begitu memperdulikannya."

"Aku harus jujur—ketika kamu tidak mempunyai pegangan, Tuhan apapun itu akan tampak bagus."

"Masalahnya, tuhan tidak peduli apakah kamu akan mati atau tidak."

"Still a better way to die—with a hope, at least. For whatever God there is."

"Oke," kataku mengambil pisau dari kakiku, "Kita harus membunuh James. Segera—kamu tahu jalan?" kataku serius. "Ya, tentu saja. Tapi akan ada satu-dua penjaga di sini." "Sepertinya mereka semua berkumpul, untuk, yah—menjebak kita semua."

"Kita?" tanya Jesuit lagi.

"I come in here with a couple of old friends." kataku menurunkan pisauku.

"Your team, you mean?"

"Yeah, some of them, of course." jawabku mengangguk.

"Bagus sekali. Aku merindukan Simon dan Saul. Tak terkecuali anak penyendiri itu, si Judas." katanya senang. Aku tertegun. "Pasti mereka akan senang bertemu denganku." sambungnya lagi, bersemangat.

"Tentang itu," sanggahku, "Judas sudah mati." "Apa?" kata Jesuit tidak percaya. Aku hanya terdiam dan mengulum bibir. "All in a day's work, huh?" kata Jesuit mencoba tidak melukai perasaanku. Aku mengangguk pelan dan mengulum bibir. "Well, we are assassins, anyway. Things like this always reminds us of that. I always wished for a different life here." sambungnya pelan. Well, not just you, mate. Not just you.

"We should carry on. We have more important things to do." kataku mengayunkan pisauku.

"Agree. Come, lad." katanya memasuki salah satu lubang di pojok kiri ruangan.

"Euh, I don't whether I will fit in." kataku melihat lubang itu—cukup kecil, sebenarnya. "I'll give you a push." "You will not be anywhere near my arse after being in jail for too long, mate." tukasku dari pengalamanku di penjara sewaktu lalu. "Beggars can't be choosers, mate. Now, continue—I will support you from behind." "Enough with the behind thing." kataku sembari mencoba masuk ke lubang ini.

"Fuck—It's so small, goddammit!" kataku mencoba masuk dengan susah payah.

"Here, let me help with that." kata Jesuit dari belakang. He starts touching me.

"Hey, lay off—"

'Swish!' 'Thwomp!' "You okay there?" tanya Jesuit polos, melihatku terjerembab ke tanah. "You think?" jawabku sembari memegangi lututku yang terbentur cukup keras. "Aku sudah bilang, aku bisa bantu." katanya sembari memasuk lubang itu dengan santainya. "Wow, you really lost weight, mate."

"Di sini adalah lorong penjaga menuju ruangan pengendali. Dari sana, kamu bisa membuka pintu." kata Jesuit menuding ke depan. Ada pintu dengan berbagai tulisan menyeramkan di depannya. That's fair enough. "Alright, let's go!" kataku tidak sabar mengutak-utik ruang kontrol.

"Why the sudden happiness?" kata Jesuit bingung, lalu memegangi kepala mayat di samping. Aku baru menyadari ada mayat di sini. "Fuck. Who is that?" tudingku melihat dengan jijik.

"Yah, kepalanya sudah bau, jadi mayat ini mungkin sudah cukup lama. Aku harus menebak—hmm, mungkin Herod." katanya melihatku dengan bangga. I don't know guessing corpses was something to be proud of.

���Whatever, let's carry on for now." tukasku lagi. "Shall we?" katanya mempersilahkan. Aku mengangguk dan langsung berlari menuju ruangan dengan berbagai stiker menyeramkan itu. "Keep out? It's going to take more than that to keep me out." kataku melihat peringatan, lalu memutar kenop pintu. 'Click!' 'Click!'

"It's locked, mate." kataku kecewa.

"Well, I don't know—I never been here." jawabnya polos.

"Fuck. Now what?"

"Yah, lubang yang lain mengarah menuju tempat lain. Mau melihat-lihat?" kata Jesuit tersenyum. "This is not a shopping mall, and my friends are in danger." kataku tersenyum kembali dengan sarkas. "Aren't I your friend?" "We only know each other from academy. And you're on different team, and you're quite annoying back then—so, yeah. You get the point." jawabku melipat kedua tanganku.

"Aku kira kita bisa mendapatkan kuncinya dari penjaga yang lewat."

"Aku sudah bilang, pasti semua penjaga di sini berkumpul untuk menjebak teman-temanku."

"Then we can trap them back." tukas Jesuit berpikir keras. That. That one I like. "Alright, your plan?" kataku mendengarkan dengan seksama. "We're all assassins, right? We used to their torture methods?" tanya Jesuit dengan tampang serius. "Oke, oke—lalu?" balasku bersemangat.

"I reckon they will not spill your whereabouts."

"So you meant to jump on them? The two of us?" tanyaku balik, semakin skeptis.

"Dua orang dari kita bisa membuat banyak kekacauan, William." tukas Jesuit. "And if we can free them, we can level the battlefield even." sambungnya lagi. Now that's a good plan, alright.

"Okay! You convinced me! Let's burn them all to death!" teriakku sembari mengepalkan tangan bersemangat. "Now that's me mate that I know about!" teriaknya juga bersemangat.

Sekarang kita berapi-api membalas. Tapi masalahnya adalah, kita berdua tahu kita akan mati.

"Oke. Jadi mulai dari mana?" kataku menyeret mimpi kita kembali ke bumi. "Pertanyaan yang bagus." kate Jesuit menggaruk kepalanya. Perutnya menggeram keras. "Sorry for that." katanya melihatku sembari memegangi perutnya. Aku menggelengkan kepala. "It's okay, mate. You can feast on meat tomorrow."

Jesuit tersenyum simpul. That is sadddening—a human that hasn't ate anything for weeks.

"Jadi, selama ini apa saja yang kamu makan?" tanyaku penasaran.

"You know the corpses have meat?" jawabnya dengan pandangan menakutkan,

"Yeah," jawabku menyingkir, "Now, stay away from me."

"No, I'm just kidding. We get meal everyday, albeit the size of a toddler, that is." katanya menghela napas. "You bring any food?" "I do not. I bring weapons here, mate. I am assassin, not a medic." jawabku menjelaskan.

"Well, that's too bad."

"Don't you think we're forgetting something?"

"What is that?"

"Our plan? To save my friends? To kick James's ass?"

"Right! Let's go—don't waste any time now!" ucap Jesuit berlari tak karuan kembali ke lubang tadi. Aku langsung mengikutinya. Fuck. I hope we're not too late—we spent almost half an hour talking here and there, we lost track of time. Being nostalgic is a bad thing. Jesuit kembali memasuki lubang tadi dengan gampangnya.

"Come on mate, hurry up!" katanya mengulurkan tangan dari sisi sebaliknya.

Aku langsung menerjunkan diriku di lubang itu. "Oh, for fuck sake." kataku melihat pinggangku yang lagi-lagi terjebak. "You don't learn, do you?" kata Jesuit menarikku keluar. "Not my fault...this, urgh—this, hole is so...small!" 'Thwomp!' Aku keluar, akhirnya.

"Which one of the hole leads directly to the old bastard?"

"Torture room is over there," kata Jesuit menuding ke kiri.

"Room directly to James with all the guards is over there. You pick." katanya menuding kanan.

"This is a difficult choice." jawabku berpikir keras. Pergi ke ruang tahanan, aku bisa membebaskan mereka, tapi jeda waktu kita untuk menyerang mereka akan semakin sedikit—malah mungkin tidak ada sama sekali. Belum lagi garansi kita bisa keluar dengan selamat kembali ke sini nyaris nol. Pergi ke ruang James, aku bisa langsung menyudahi semua ini, tapi nyaris tidak mungkin dengan semua penjaga ini—kita berdua hanya akan menyusul Saul dan Judas ke dunia selanjutnya.

"Time is ticking, my mate." katanya seolah menunjuk arloji di tangannya.

"You have time to rant, then you certainly can help me."

"I think we should save them first." kataku pasti. "And why is that?" tanya Jesuit, mukanya sedikit muram. I think being all alone in here, he'd understood that survival is the only thing that matters here. "I know what you're thinking, mate." jawabku melihatnya dalam-dalam.

"Tapi kita butuh mereka. Kita butuh tambahan tenaga—kita butuh teman."

"Kau dan aku, mereka, dan bahkan temanku—kita tidak akan sampai di momen di mana kita sekarang jika tidak karena orang-orang yang mendukung kita, bagaimanapun sulitnya itu." ujarku dengan keringat dingin. I wish he would've said yes—I need to know the map of this entire dungeon. I need to understand how things work down here. I need to rescue my friends. And more importantly,

"I need you," kataku dengan mengulurkan tangan. "More than ever, now."

Jesuit berpikir keras. Aku tahu dia tidak ingin kembali ke sana.

"Oke." katanya menjabat tanganku keras-keras. I grasped it firmly. His boney hands shook really firm and hard. Aku tersenyum seraya berkata, "Aku tahu aku bisa mengandalkanmu, Jesuit." Jesuit menghela napas panjang. "Aku melakukan ini demi kita semua. Ingat itu." Aku mengangguk setuju.

"Now let's go! Follow me!" katanya berlari cepat menuju lubang di kiri.

Just hope I make the right choice now—'cause I'm a little short on mind.

'Clack! Clack! Clack!' Suara tapak kaki Jesuit dan sepatuku menghantam keras lantai. "Are we there yet?!" teriakku dari belakang kepada Jesuit yang berlari kesetanan. "Sebentar lagi!" "Sialan, kita sudah berlari selama hampir setengah jam lebih!" teriakku lebih keras lagi. Aku sudah tidak sanggup lagi.

"There it is." kata Jesuit berhenti tiba-tiba.

"Whoa!" teriakku juga tiba-tiba—aku hampir saja menabraknya. 'Bam!'

"Dude!" teriak Jesuit telentang di lantai, dengan aku di atasnya. It looks like two hobo making out. "I am sorry," kataku seraya berdiri, "But in my defense—you started it. Learn to have brakes in your feet." sambungku menolong Jesuit berdiri. "Next time you say sorry, don't begin with the whole offending thing."

"Jadi, di sini? Di belakang pintu ini? Banyak sekali pintu di sini." kataku melihat pintu besi lainnya.

"Yah, bunker hanya terdiri dari tembok, plafon, dan pintu. Semuanya dari besi."

"Kamu benar. Jadi," kataku menoleh pada Jesuit, "Kamu sudah pernah keluar, jadi bagaimana caramu masuk?" "Simpel." jawabnya tersenyum. 'Grooowl...' bunyi perut Jesuit semakin parah. "Are you okay?" tanyaku lagi.

"Aku menghadapi ini setiap hari dalam bertahun-tahun belakangan." katanya mendekat ke pintu.

"Sejak tahun kapan kamu berada di sini?"

"I don't know. I lost track of time—all that I know is that suicide is a better option."

Fuck. I am in awe—I couldn't possibly imagine it being that way. I was in prison for a mere month, and they're treating me like a human. Down here, it seems every single soul is a piece of shit.

"Aku mencoba membenturkan kepala ke tembok, menggunakan borgol untuk menggantung diriku sendiri, tidak makan sampai aku rasanya akan pingsan—tapi tidak ada satu cara pun yang bekerja." katanya lirih sembari memainkan lubang kunci pintu besi itu.

"Jadi aku menyerah." 'Cuh-click!' Pintu terbuka dengan sedikit.

"Aku hanya menunggu mati, William." katanya melihatku dalam-dalam.

Aku terenyuh, entah mengapa. Aku harap aku membuat keputusan yang benar, membuat hidup yang benar, dan menolong orang yang benar. When you saw countless death, all that's left that guides you still is just your heart—and sometimes, your very heart can be wrong sometimes.

"Mari kita masuk." tukasku sembari membuka pintu lebih lebar.

Aku melihat segerombolan orang di pojok ruangan dengan tangan yang semuanya terborgol ke tiang yang sama. Di pojok lain, pemandangan yang sama—kecuali semuanya sudah menjadi mayat. Semuanya mayat.

"There they are!" tuding Jesuit ke pojok kiri belakang ruangan. Aku langsung menoleh.

"Lads!" teriakku keras seraya berlari ke arah mereka. Simon yang paling depan, dengan kedua tangan terborgol erat. Semua wajah mereka memandang lemah, penuh dengan luka yang masih segar. "William?��� tanya Messias di belakang.

"William? Bos?" tanya Simon lirih.

"Semuanya, ini aku. Aku sudah datang! Aku membawa teman lama kalian, Jesuit."

Looks like nobody cared about that. That, or they were just too weak to respond to everything. I can see they all beaten to a bloody pulp. "William—pergilah." kata Messias lirih. I can see a person missing—the oldest of them all. The wisest of them all.

"James mengambil Prophet—dia, dia sudah menduga ini akan terjadi." lanjutnya lirih.

Aku hanya bisa terdiam. We did know he will foresee us coming, but we still come anyway. "Aku tidak mengerti, kenapa—ada apa dengan hal itu? Bukankah kita—"

"Lari!!" teriak Messias lagi. Aku terkejut.

Sorot matanya menyiratkan sesuatu yang menakutkan. Sesuatu yang masif.

Dan terlintas hanya satu hal di benakku saat aku melihat sorot mata itu.

Aku harus pergi.

"You hear him, man! We must go! Let's go!" teriak Jesuit menarik tanganku erat-erat. Suasana semakin mencekam sesaat setelah Messias jatuh tidak sadar. Simon juga pingsan. Benedict, Jehova, Luke, Thomas, Levi—mereka semua sudah tidak sadarkan diri. Bau besi dari luka mereka semakin terhirup oleh hidungku. Aku harus pergi. Aku harus keluar dari sini.

"Jesuit! Aku menyadari sesuatu!" teriakku memegang badannya yang kurus itu.

"I knew it! I knew it all along!" teriakku semakin seperti orang gila. "We can talk about it later! We need to—" "You're listening, aren't you, you god believer?!" teriakku semakin kencang lagi. Aku tahu. Aku tahu dia mendengarkan. Aku bisa merasakan kehadiran orang itu.

"JAAAMEEEEES!!!" teriakku lantang. Seluruh ruangan kecil berisikan mayat ini bergaung.

"William."