79. Milestones

Thank you guys for keeping me motivated and eager to write more with your continuous support and feedback! Here comes chapter 79, enjoy! :)

79. Milestones

″Look at you Emilia Halstead, what a big girl you are!″ Maggie exclaimed with a bright smile when Erin walked into the Emergency Department of Chicago Med, holding Emilia's hands from above so the little girl could walk on her own feet that were covered in the cutest winter boots.

It was mid November, Thanksgiving and even Christmas approaching fast, most days being cold, grey, windy, rainy and in general just simply nasty and ugly, and a week ago, only standing on her feet hadn't been enough for Emilia anymore and she's started to walk with the help of her parents. By now she was rather demanding to walk than to be carried around and Jay and Erin were sure they would pay that with severe back damage caused by always walking with a stoop. It was a price they would pay anytime though. And anyway, with the pace Emmy was already walking around, she would be able to walk all by herself rather sooner than later so they gladly helped her as long as their daughter actually still needed them to walk.

″Hey Maggie,″ Erin lifted her head at the nurse and smiled before dedicating her attention to Emilia again. ″Come on, sweetie, just a couple more steps.″

″There you go,″ Erin exclaimed excitedly once they reached Maggie and scooped her squeaking daughter up into her arms.

″I can't believe she's walking,″ Maggie shook her head slightly.

″Jay and I can't either,″ Erin smiled and looked at her daughter, her grown-up daughter who looked like a toddler in those jeans and winter jacket she was wearing and with those boots on her feet and the beanie on her head. ″It's somehow bittersweet.″

″When did you grow up into a walker little lady?″ Maggie asked Emilia and tickled her gently.

″Well, she's almost 10 months old, so it had to happen I guess,″ Erin sighed.

″Yeah, they don't stay little,″ Maggie winked.

″Can you believe that it's been almost 10 months since I waddled in here with that big belly in front of me?″ she chuckled slightly.

″Oh I remember that day. I just had look in your face and knew it was time. And Jay's face told the same story. I mean, there was no color left,″ Maggie laughed.

″Yeah, I guess after almost 41 weeks he was quite shocked when it was actually time,″ Erin grinned, remembering every single second of those 16 hours like it had been yesterday. And now she could soon start to plan Emilia's first birthday party.

″Uh-huh, it's always a shocker when it's suddenly the real deal,″ Maggie winked. ″Anyway, what can I do for you two? She's doing fine after he tonsillitis, isn't she?″

″Oh yeah, she's up to anything these days and has too much energy,″ Erin chuckled. ″There's actually something I have to talk about with Will...and probably Goodwin, so I thought I use my free day for that.″ Her free day was actually the day where she sometimes felt more beat in the evening than after a full day in the bullpen including chasing whichever gangster thought it was smart to run away from them through some alley. Being a housewife and full-time mom was definitely the harder job out of the two of them but she wouldn't want to miss her time at home.

″Goodwin should be in her office and Will is treating a patient in trauma one. You want Will first I guess?″

″Yeah, that would be great,″ Erin confirmed.

″Okay, I'll let him know you're here as soon as he's back. You can just wait in the doctor's lounge if you want,″ Maggie suggested.

″Thank you Maggie,″ she smiled at her. ″So Emmy, you wanna walk a little more?″ she asked her daughter and put her down on the floor again.

They slowly walked to the doctor's lounge and it was adorable how concentrated Emilia was on putting one foot in front of the other. Jay always mocked Erin, telling her Emilia had the exact same facial expression when she was walking that she had when she was all concentrated on some paperwork in the bullpen.

Once they were inside the doctor's lounge and made themselves comfortable on the couch, Erin took off Emilia's jacket and beanie so she wouldn't get too warm and then reached for the diaper bag, that she'd placed on the floor, to get the book she's brought to keep Emilia entertained and in a good mood. They scrolled through the touch and feel book about animals, Erin always telling Emmy about the different animals and what kind of noises they made, being that kind of mother she herself never had when she was that young.

″Look, that's a dog, just like Crispin,″ she explained. ″Can you say that? Dog.″

″Daaa,″ Emmy babbled.

″Yaah, something like that,″ Erin chuckled. ″It's a dog, Emmy. You wanna feel the dog's fur?″ she asked and guided her hand to the dog's fur. ″Not as cool as Crispin's, right?″

″Mamama.″

″What do you wanna tell me with that, huh?″ Erin laughed which resulted in Emmy laughing heartily as well.

″Look at that, my favorite niece and my favorite sister-in-law,″ Will smirked, when he entered the room a couple minutes later, finding Emmy being completely captivated by the pictures in the book and by what her mother told her about the animals one could find on a farm.

″Hey Will,″ Erin smiled up at him. ″Say hi to your uncle Will, Emmy.″

″Daaa,″ she babbled once more.

″No, he's not a dog, Emmy,″ Erin laughed.

″Nice one, Emmy,″ Will laughed as well and joined them on the couch. ″So daaa is dog?″

″Well...I think so,″ she chuckled. ″Not a hundred percent sure though.″

″Looks like she gets that talking thing going now, huh?″

″She gets all this toddler stuff going right now,″ Erin answered with a sigh.

″You're big girl, Emilia Halstead, aren't you?″ Will baby-talked and reached for his niece to settle her in his lap. ″So, what can I do for you?″ he asked before adding with an ever so innocent smirk: ″My brother driving you nuts?″

″No, he's not of course,″ Erin answered and gave her brother-in-law a soft punch.

″Okay, so you don't need help with handling my brother...to what do I owe the honor of this visit?″

″You remember how almost a year ago you begged me to talk with Jay about the bone marrow donation and he ended up saving your dad's life?″

″I would never forget that, Erin,″ Will answered honestly though she could see the confusion in his face. The young doctor probably sensed that she needed quite the favor bringing this up.

″Okay,″ Erin breathed out. ″So...uhm...you don't owe me for that. You never did and you never will. We are a family and that's what you do for family...but I really do need your help with something,″ she rambled.

″Erin,″ Will said and couldn't hide a little smile because his sister-in-law rambling, that was something new. ″Shoot.″

″Alright...,″ she breathed out. And so she told him what had happened last Saturday, when she'd spent the afternoon with Rylie to show her the city she's been living in her whole life, while Jay and Will, the latter also being alone with Owen, had used their women-free afternoon to take the kids to an indoor playground.

″Okay okay okay, where are we going?″ To say Rylie's voice was excited and ecstatic as she hopped into the passenger's seat of the 300 was an understatement. The young girl seemed to be over the moon and when Erin scanned her from the side for a moment, she couldn't hide a proud smile. Her face was covered with just the right amount of make-up, and not how Erin had first met her a couple of weeks back, her hair was braided in two braids, some strands falling into her face, a beanie covering her head. Together with the dark jeans, her converse shoes, the hoodie and the vest she was wearing, no one would ever think she'd been a drug-addict not even two months ago and was currently in rehab to battle all these demons. She looked healthy and happy, though Erin knew that the shadow of the past still lay on her. As well as she was still carrying around the weight of being seperated from her son and having lost her little brother recently.

″Patience is not your strength, huh?″ Erin grinned and started the engine of the 300 to pull out on the street and toward downtown.

″I'm just so excited...to see something else than the backyard and the same rooms all the time.″

″You were out for trips, weren't you?″

″Yeah, but only twice and each time it was only an hour or two. With five other girls. And some guards. Never for a whole afternoon...just me...and a friend.″ Her voice almost faded in the end, as if she wasn't sure whether she had the right to call Erin a friend.

″Then I hope I can do your expectations justice today,″ Erin smiled at her. ″Where did you go though?″

″Uhm...once we went bowling. Which was fun. I just sucked,″ she laughed. ″The other time, we went to a public swimming pool. With slides and all. But we only had like an hour in there before we had to shower and drive back with the van. That sucked as well.″

″So I hope six hours with me today won't suck,″ Erin said, raising her eyebrow at the young girl.

″I'm sure they won't,″ she smiled sheepishly. ″And don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for the other trips. Every minute I'm allowed to spend outside is a good one. I just...I don't know. Sometimes those walls...they make me feel like I'm in jail.″

″Hey, you're almost there. A month from now your life probably looks completely different.″

″Yeah, I know,″ Rylie sighed. ″But back to the important things, where do we go?″

Their first stop was Navy Pier and they took a ride with the Centennial Wheel to enjoy the look on the Chicago skyline while eating candy they'd bought in one of the candy stores. Afterwards, they strolled to downtown for a boat tour on the Chicago River, freezing their butts of while listening to the stories of all of Chicago's special and famous buildings and it seemed like Rylie soaked in every word, even asked two questions in the end. On the way back to the parking garage of Navy Pier, they warmed themselves up with a coffee-to-go before their tourist day continued with the Sears Tower and going all the way up to the Skydeck that provided a spectecular view over the city. Rylie was as excited as a kid on Christmas morning, seeing the city she's lived in for her whole life from this perspective for the very first time and she couldn't stop taking photos with her phone, telling Erin how she would want to print some of them to make her room more personal.

Dusk was almost setting in by the time they left the building, their tourist day coming to an end rapidly, but before Erin brought Rylie back to the Center of Hope, they picked up Deep Dish Pizza to go from Uno's as Erin wanted to go to one last special place with her.

″That's one of my favorite places,″ Erin said as she put the blanket, that she always had in the trunk since having a child and a dog, on the steps in front of the Planetarium so they could sit down without risking to catch an inflammation of the bladder or any other virus.

″It's beautiful,″ Rylie almost whispered as they sat down, as the Chicago skyline slowly lit up in front of them while the world around them got darker with every minute passing.

″It's Jay's and my favorite place in the city,″ she smiled and took a piece of pizza. The Chicago Skyline was simply something else and they'd been here a zillion times in their early days of dating. By now, strolling all along the Lake Front to the Planetarium has become a rarity but when they had the chance to leave the suburbs for an evening to experience some downtown or West Loop vibes, they always tried to come here as well.

″Let me guess, he proposed to you here?″ Rylie grinned, taking a piece as well.

″Nope,″ Erin laughed. ″He proposed to me at his cabin in the middle of nowhere in Wisconsin, inches of snow surrounding us, sparklers in the snow and all.″

″Wow...that sounds romantic,″ she answered and Erin could tell from her voice that she didn't know any guy that would do something as romantic. But that at the same time she wished that one day a guy would do something similar for her.

″It was,″ Erin confirmed. ″Never thought that a guy would do something like this for me,″ she added meaningfully.

″You hit the jackpot,″ Rylie nodded. ″The guy, the kid, the job. You've got it all.″

″Yeah,″ Erin said. ″And I have to thank one person for that. One person that believed in me when no one else did.″

″Huh,″ Rylie shrugged, staring at the skyline in front of her.

″I believe in you, Rylie. And you should believe in yourself as well.″

″Huh,″ she shrugged once again but Erin saw how her lip was now trembling, tears brimming in her eyes.

″What? You don't believe in yourself?″ Erin asked.

″I...I...″ she stammered, her voice breaking. ″No,″ she whispered. ″I mean...how should I?″ she asked, her gaze still fixated on the skyline as if she was scared to look at Erin even for a second. ″I might be out in three or four weeks, but what will my life be like then? I don't have an apartment anymore. I don't have a job anymore. I don't have a brother and a son anymore,″ she said bitterly, the tears falling from her eyes.

″You might be right about most of this but you're wrong about the most important thing. You still have a son, Rylie. And he's waiting for you to get your shit together so he can be with his mom again. And yeah, you don't have an apartment and you don't have a job, so what do we do about that?″ she asked, the tiniest bit of challenge in her voice toward the end as she didn't want Rylie to feel sorry for herself. She'd wanted to talk about her future with her anyway, so she was glad that it's now somehow come up by itself. ″I know you talk about your future during classes, so what did you say you wanna do when they asked you?″

″What I want to do and what I can do with my record are two very different kinds of animals.″

″Don't let this record define who you are,″ Erin mentioned carefully, knowing exactly what Rylie meant.

″Define who I am?″ Rylie echoed. ″It is who I am! Who wants to hire a twentyone-year-old ex-drug-addict prostitute that hasn't graduated highschool? Retail? Restaurants? I doubt it,″ she snapped, a sarcastic laughter leaving her lips.

″You want to work in retail?″ Erin asked, ignoring most of what she'd just said.

″It doesn't fucking matter. I can't-″

″Hey! I asked you whether you want to work in retail!″ Erin interrupted her and for the very first time in weeks her voice was rising as she spoke with the young girl.

Rylie bit her lip and then shook her head no. ″I don't,″ she said sheepishly.

″You want to work in a restaurant?″

″No,″ she denied.

″Okay, here we go again: What do you want?″ Erin asked again. She knew she was pushing her, probably even too much, but this was an important step for Rylie and if she couldn't take that step, all her progress in the last few weeks would be for nothing. If she didn't start to build her future now, there was a huge possibility that she would go back down that rabbit hole once she was out of the facility.

″I...I want...,″ she stammered. ″I want to become a nurse,″ she breathed out and for the first time she turned her head to look at Erin and the amount of hopelessness and giving-up she saw in Rylie's eyes broke her heart. ″So tell me, who's ever going to let someone like me work with drugs?″

″Erin, please tell me you didn't promise-″ Will said at that point of the story, but Erin interrupted him before he could finish his conclusion.

″No, no, no,″ she denied quickly. ″I didn't promise her anything. I mean, how stupid would it be to promise something I don't know I can keep?″ she asked with a smile.

″Very stupid,″ Will chuckled somehow nervously. ″So what did you tell her then?″

″Well, first of all, I gave her a condition. That she has to enroll into online highschool classes immediately so she can get her highschool diploma. And once she has that going, I'll see what I can do for her. So here I am, seeing what I can do for her,″ Erin explained with a shy smile, biting her lip innocently. Will could definitely understand how she got his brother wrapped around her finger all the time.

″Erin, I don't think I can help you here...-″

″See, Will, I know it doesn't look great on paper. I know she has a record that realistically keeps her from ever working as a nurse or anything similar,″ she admitted. ″But...I'm not looking for a fulltime job for her. Just for someone giving her a chance. You know, some kind of internship she can do for three to six months so she can start living a real life for the very first time. It would be a milestone for her. And it doesn't even have to be paid. Just for the experience.″

″I understand that you want to help her,″ Will answered, furrowing a brow. ″But what do you need me for?″

″I need you as backup...when I go and talk with Goodwin.″

″Me?″ he asked rhetorically. ″I'm probably not the best person for that as you might now that Goodwin is not my best of friends.″

″I think you are the best person for that because you fight for what you want and don't give up...,″ Erin said meaningfully.

″This might be true. And it might not be an attitude Goodwin actually appreciates a lot,″ he laughed slightly. ″And anyway, Erin, I can't vouch for that girl. I don't even know her.″

″But you know me,″ she stated bluntly.

For a moment, Will looked at her and it seemed like he didn't know what to say, ran his hand through his hair. ″You're putting a lot on the line for that girl.″

Erin didn't even try to deny that because her brother-in-law was right. ″She's worth it,″ she only answered, before adding: ″When I decided I want to become a cop, Hank put a lot on the line to get me into the police academy because my record wasn't stellar either. And I don't think he, or anyone for that matter, ever regretted that he did this back then.″ Her eyes fell from looking at Will to her wedding band and then to her daughter who sat in Will's lap, the ginger's gaze following hers and of course he understood the unspoken. Without Hank Voight helping Erin to get into the police academy, he wouldn't have a niece right now and his brother wouldn't have a wife. Erin was one of the best things that happened to the Halstead family in a long time and she's changed his brother's life for the better in an extraordinary way.

″Okay,″ Will finally said. ″What do you want me to do?″

″I thought you could probably tell Goodwin that you would be something like a mentor for Rylie, you know, keeping an eye on her, teaching her stuff, being responsible for her in some way.″

″Uhm...first of all, I don't even know whether she could work in the ED or rather work somewhere upstairs, probably emptying bed pans all the time. But...″ he said as he saw Erin's face dropping. ″We could of course try to get her into the ED. But you'll need someone else than me to convince Goodwin because I barely teach nurses anything. They don't need me to tell them how to do their job.″

″So, what does that mean?″ Erin frowned.

″That means, that I will of course tell Goodwin to keep an eye on her but for all the other things, we might need to get Maggie on board before we go to Goodwin. And here you're lucky, because she actually likes me,″ he grinned. ″And Goodwin likes her, so let's find her,″ he said and got up from the couch, Emmy squeeking when her uncle Will swirled her through the air.

″Thank you,″ Erin smiled at him.

″Hey, we'll try. But it's not a done deal yet,″ he reminded her.

″I know.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Despacito was resounding from the radio when Erin stood at the kitchen island in the evening to make Shepard's pie but instead of getting the preparations for dinner done, she'd just set her knife aside to watch Luke and Emilia in awe, to witness a very precious moment. When she'd started to cook, the two of them had settled in the living room without her, creating an enormous mess with all the toys, and had started to play together peacefully with all the various toys. The moment the song had started to play though, Luke'd jumped up like a bouncy ball as it was his favorite song, to dance around through the living room while singing along in the most adorable way. Of course Emilia had tried to get up as well to follow the boy that was something like her big brother, and when Luke'd seen his foster-sister not being amused about being left behind, he'd helped her up and had then taken her by her hands, so they were currently dancing right in front of Erin, Luke being all careful and gentle with her and not being the wild boy he sometimes used to be.

Erin turned the music as loud that Olive and Justin could probably hear it in their house next to them and seeing her child and her foster-child like this, giggling and laughing heartily, Emilia's babbling most likely her try to sing with Luke, was not only all kinds of heartwarming but it almost brought tears to her eyes as it was a very special moment to witness, one she would for sure never forget and just made her heart beat faster. For various reasons. She knew that chances were high that Luke would not stay with them as she was sure Rylie could make this work, and seeing him leave would definitely be anything but easy. But at the same time she also knew that taking him in had been the best decision nonetheless. For various reasons as well.

Despite the loud music and the dance party in their living room, she heard the key turning in the lock and seconds later, Jay walked into the kitchen after a surpisingly short workday, a tiny bit of confusion on his face.

″What's going on here?″ he laughed.

″Look at these two,″ Erin smiled and motioned her head to the living room.

When his eyes fell on Emmy and Luke, his smile grew so big, Erin was sure it even hurt him. ″No idea what they're singing but hey,″ she laughed.

″Oh come on, you understand Spanish. You might not understand these two little stars but I'm sure you at least understand the singer,″ he grinned.

″Yeah, maybe. Working the beat for as many years with a Spanish speaking mentor was better than any Spanish college class,″ she shrugged. ″But if I reminded myself that I actually understand the lyrics I would forbid my kids to listen to that song,″ she chuckled.

″That dirty, huh?″

″Yup,″ she smirked. ″But whatever, aren't they the cutest kids in town?″

″Definitely,″ Jay grinned from ear to ear and then wrapped his arms around her from behind, lacing his hands in front of her stomach to pull her closer to his body and leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek. ″Didn't know we have two dancers here,″ he chuckled against her skin, his eyes again falling on the two kids that were definitely in their own little world right now.

″And singers, apparently,″ Erin laughed before turning pensive. ″You know, this might be one of my favorite moments ever. It's so pure and real and...I don't know...it's just...″ she rambled. ″I used to do that with Teddy.″

″One of the good memories, huh?″ he asked softly.

″One of the best,″ she admitted and turned around to him. Her voice was filled with rasp and emotions when she continued to talk. ″We turned the music on and danced...we laughed, we sang, we escaped to a different world. Where everything was perfect. And now I watch them and I'm just so happy that they don't have to escape from anything.″

Jay didn't answer with words, just brought his hand up to her face to stroke over her skin with his thumb as he leaned in to kiss her ever so soft, it messed with Erin's emotional state even more and was almost enough to really make her tear up. Feeling this loved sometimes still overwhelmed her, especially in moments like this, when she was a little more vulnerable than usual.

″Let's dance with these two then,″ he whispered against her lips and lifted his head to give her one of his famous smiles. ″Not to escape. Just to enjoy.″

He pulled her with him before she could answer anything. Her answer would've been yes anyway.

″Hey kiddos, are we allowed to join?″ Jay asked.

″Yaaah, come,″ Luke beamed and so each of them took one of Emmy's hands and one of Luke's hands.

They 'danced' in their little circle beyond Despacito, the next song being one Luke liked almost as much, giggles and laughters and joyful squeeking filling the Halstead-household, probably like never before.

″That was awesome,″ Jay laughed when the song was over and some love ballade came up next. ″Wasn't it, bud?″ he asked Luke, running his hand through the boy's blonde hair.

″Yes,″ he nodded eagerly.

″And you know what other awesome thing you two little dancers are going to do now?″ he asked and knelt down in front of him.

″No, what?″ Luke answered curiously.

″You're going to have a bubble bath,″ Jay winked and tickled his belly.

″Yes yes yes bubble bath,″ Luke squealed and jumped right into Jay's arms, almost tackled him as he was this enthusiastic about having a bath with actual mountains of foam.

″Then let's go,″ Jay smirked and picked Emmy up as well, carrying her on one arm and Luke on the other.

″Don't flood the bathroom,″ Erin chuckled at her man who had his arms full with their two troublemakers, sensing that with Luke and Emmy in the same bathtub and Jay being the one in charge, this would end up with more water on the floor than in the tub.

″We'll try,″ Jay winked at her and turned around to carry his daughter and his foster-son upstairs, Erin watching them leave until they disappeared in the hallway. There was something about Jay having his arms full with these two that made her emotional yet again. But it wasn't until she was back preparing their dinner - all those pictures of Luke and Emmy dancing, of them dancing together, of Jay carrying both Emmy and Luke, still right in front of her eyes and making her smile - that she realized how much of milestone this had been for her.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Jay being home as early, being able to bathe Emmy and Luke, being able to have dinner with his family, being able to sit on the couch afterwards and read them a story, was the most perfect evening possible and Erin didn't mind a bit to cook and clean the kitchen all by herself if it meant her husband could be in full daddy-mode tonight. Tucking them in together when it was time to sleep was so much more beautiful than doing it alone and for the millionth time Erin wished that all their evenings would be like this. Or at least the majority of evenings. But reality had him and the whole unit working more night shifts and overtime than ever before, reducing their family evenings to a minimum.

How much she missed him being there in the evenings, she also realized later, when they lay on their couch together for the first time in forever, her head resting on his chest and his arm wrapped around her as they watched the Hawks game, their beers placed on the coffee table in front of them. Despite the fact that Crispin was lying on his blanket by Jay's feet and that they had two sleeping kids in the house, it almost felt like an evening in their early stages of dating, when they'd spent the evenings with eating take-out, drinking beer, watching some game of one of the Chicago teams and cuddling on the couch that ended in making out every single time.

″How did it go with Goodwin today?″ Jay finally got the chance to ask during the commercial break.

″She's a brain twister, not easy to crack,″ Erin chuckled.

″So?″

″I got Will on board. He got Maggie on board. And the three of us got Goodwin on board. Sort of.″

″Sort of?″ Jay echoed.

″Yeah, she didn't exactly say yes. But she agreed on meeting Rylie and having a chat with her and then making a decision based on that.″

″Fair enough.″

″Yes, I'm fine with that. The chance is there. Now it's mostly up to Rylie,″ she said. She'd never expected Goodwin to give Rylie an internship position just like this, so her giving Rylie a chance by meeting her in person felt like a win. ″Your brother really was a big help.″

″Yeah? You got him wrapped around your finger?″ Jay chuckled as Crispin jumped down from the couch and left for his bed upstairs.

″I didn't have to wrap him around my finger,″ she mimicked and gave him a soft punch on the chest with her hand, telling him in a nutshell how she'd convinced Will to help her, how they'd then convinced Maggie to help and how they'd last but not least appeared in Goodwin's office like the Three Musketeers on a mission to save the world. Or in their case, to get Rylie an internship position as an ED nurse.

″So in case she gets that internship, things are looking good for her that she makes it?″ Jay asked her once he knew the whole story.

″Honestly, Jay, I don't know,″ Erin admitted, speaking her concerns, that she's kept for herself so far, out loud for the first time. ″Getting sober is one thing. Staying sober is the other. It's different when the security of the rehab facility is gone and she's suddenly on her own. This might be the last hurdle she has to take,″ she sighed. ″I believe in her, I really do but I know how fragile that state is and how easily everything can fall apart.″

″I bet it won't be easy,″ Jay nodded, his mind considering her words and already going one step further. Or two. ″So where is she going to live?″

″She doesn't have an appartment anymore, her landlord threw her out because Ty was killed by a gang, so I guess some group home or sober home for starters.″

″You think she'll get the help there that she needs to take that last hurdle?″ Jay dug deeper.

″Uhm...I don't know, I guess...,″ she answered vaguely. ″They arrange meetings and do drug tests and offer classes and provide therapists. So it goes along with the conditions she has to get Luke back. She has to attend meetings, do drug tests, go back to school and speak with the psychologists. But I can't deny that it's a dangerous and toxic environment with so many fragile and broken people. One slips and others might follow...″

″So it's not what Rylie needs right now?″ he concluded.

″It's better than living on her own.″

″What about her living with us?″ Jay asked and this suggestion came as unexpected that she shot up, looking at him to reassure herself that she's actually heard right.

″What?″ she uttered.

″Come on, Er,″ he smiled faintly at his wife. ″You've been thinking about that as well.″

″I...well...yeah, I guess I did,″ she confirmed and Jay could literally hear the big but that was coming before she spoke it out. ″But it would be like having a third child, Jay. Somehow.″

″Rylie's not a child,″ Jay chuckled and adjusted his position as well.

″Well, we might have to bring her to work, we have to make sure that she studies for her online classes, that she attends meetings and all that stuff. This is pretty much another fulltime-job.″

″Babe, she's 21. She'll get our help and our support but in the end of the day she's responsible for herself. And she will for sure help in the house in return. Not to forget that it's temporary, for a couple of weeks, until she's back on her feet,″ he said, gazing at her intensely as if he could read her mind. ″So, you wanna tell me what this really is about?″ he asked softly.

Jay Halstead could read her mind. No doubts given. He knew there was something else that's held her back from suggesting Rylie crashing with them herself, that made her hesitate now.

Erin inhaled a deep breath. ″The thought that she...that she could relapse while she's living with us scares the crap out of me,″ she almost whispered. ″The thought that she slips while she is in our...custody...I could never forgive myself if that happens.″

″We won't let her slip, Er,″ he said softly. ″You said you believe in her. And so do I. Because I know that with our help, with you keeping on being there for her like you've been in the last few weeks, there's no reason to not believe in her. You changed Rylie's life, Erin, and I know that with her living here, she can take that last hurdle so she gets the life you want her to have.″

″But regardless us being there for her...-″

″Erin,″ Jay said and took her hand in his. She hadn't overstated when she'd said that this was scaring the crap out of her, so he had to try it differently even though it meant that he had to bring up her past. ″Did you slip when you lived with Hank and Camille and Justin?″

″Uhm...no,″ she answered all confused, trying to figure out where he wanted to go with that.

″Why not?″

She didn't even have to think about her answer. ″Because they gave me a chance. They gave me a home. They gave me a family, so the least I could do was not screwing it up and instead try to make them proud.″

″So, since you know Rylie better than I do...,″ he concluded, ″when we give her a chance. A home. A family. Do you think she would do anything to jeopardize this?″

By these words, a smile tugged in the corners of her mouth and once more her feelings, her love for this incredible man overwhelmed her. ″No.″

″See, we won't let her slip,″ he winked at her and squeezed her hand, his smile growing simultaneously with hers.

″We have to talk to Clara, whether she's okay with Rylie and Luke living under the same roof when the first step would actually be supervised visits.″

″We have to talk to Clara,″ he nodded with a grin. There she was again, the Erin he knew, already thinking one step further.

″Have I ever told you how amazing you are?″ she asked, looking at him with literal heart-eyes like he hung the stars.

″Sometimes I guess. But I'll never get tired of hearing it,″ he chuckled.

″I love you,″ she smirked and leaned in. ″Thank you for being amazing,″ she whispered against his lips that did not yet melt into a kiss.

″I love you more.″ His voice was low and in the next second, he felt her soft lips against his own, melting into a kiss that could last for eternity if it was up to him, her tongue delving into his mouth soon after as her hands cradled his neck and his hands found her waist to lift her into his lap, their make-out intensifying rapidly, just like it had back in their early days of dating.

And so, after they've lived in their house for almost three months now, their new couch finally got the test drive for function and form that night.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Two weeks later

″Jay! Erin!″ Luke yelled through the house just after 7am on Saturday morning of the first December weekend, his voice all excited and bell-like, Erin's and Jay's sleep finding a sudden end.

″Jeeeez,″ Jay yawned and rubbed his tired eyes. ″What do you think happened now?″

″I have no idea,″ Erin yawned and pulled her blanket almost all over her head. If it wasn't Emilia who thought sleep was for the weak on a Saturday or Sunday morning, when they actually could sleep in as there wasn't a case that required Jay to work the weekend, it was Luke who ended his night early and they might had to accept that sleeping in with two little kids equaled a mission impossible.

″Erin! Jay!″ Luke called again and in the next moment, the door bursted open and Luke jumped into their bedroom with a big smile on his face.

″What's going on, buddy?″ Jay asked when Luke stood right in front of him.

″You sleep naked ?″ Luke asked, his eyes widening as he saw Jay's bare chest that was not covered by the blanket.

Shoot, Jay thought, Erin coughing hardly under her blanket, and he pulled his own blanket up a little automatically. ″I don't,″ he answered as casual as possible. ″Just shirtless.″ This was the truth. After ending their day with some scrabble yesterday evening, he'd slipped into some boxers during the night when he'd used the bathroom, but he wasn't exactly sure whether Erin was wearing anything right now. She definitely hadn't worn anything when they'd fallen asleep after their love-making, so chances were high that the blanket was about everything that covered her skin right now.

″Aren't you...cold?″ Luke frowned.

″No, I'm not. Don't worry, Luke,″ Jay assured him and then changed the subject instantly. ″So, what do you want to tell us at 7 in the morning?″

″It's snowing!″ he exclaimed excitedly, forgetting about Jay's bare chest immediately, and Jay remembered that he'd been equally excited about the first snow back when was a child.

″It is?″

″Yes! Come on, I show you,″ Luke smiled and reached for his arm to pull him out of the bed.

″Easy bud,″ Jay laughed. ″You go downstairs already, I'll be there in a minute, okay? You can count the snowflakes until I come and then you can tell me how many you counted.″

″Okay,″ Luke nodded eagerly.

″How far can you count?″

″Uhm...thirty.″

″Good, so once you reached thirty, you start with one again and as soon as I'm there I'll teach you how to count to fifty, deal?″

″Deal,″ Luke beamed and ran out of their bedroom as fast as he'd entered it.

″Holy crap, remind me to lock that door when we play scrabble next time,″ Erin laughed, pulling back the blanket as soon as Luke was gone.

″We should probably start to slip back into some clothes afterwards,″ Jay chuckled and leaned down to kiss her good-morning.

″Huh,″ she grunted. ″I guess we have to bite the bullet, yeah.″

″I would like locking the door better as well,″ he grinned and kissed her again.

″Babe,″ she giggled and pushed him away. ″You keep on doing that and Luke will burst in here again in less than five minutes. Seeing something else than your bare chest.″

″Yeah...probably,″ Jay agreed with a boyish smirk, pressed his lips against hers again nonetheless and then got up to slip into some sweats and a shirt.

When Luke had told them that it was snowing, they'd expected a few snowflakes and probably the tiniest bit of white covering their garden but instead it was snowing lots of thick flakes from the sky and the world around them was completely covered in white, making everything look like winterwonderland. Chicago winter made sure to start off with an impression this year.

Of course Luke requested to build a snowman and go outside as soon as Jay was downstairs with him, so after breakfast, Jay, Erin, Emilia, Luke and Crispin found themselves in the backyard to build their very first snowman there. Their very first snowman in their very own backyard. It still seemed unreal. From time to time they formed some snowballs and threw them through the air so Crispin could chase after them, their young dog being slightly confused in the beginning when he couldn't find the snowball and bring it back to Erin and Jay. Meanwhile Emilia was completely fascinated by the unknown white powder and couldn't get enough from touching it, crawling through it or just simply sitting in it and digging her hands into it. The only thing she absolutely didn't like was when she almost fell over and half of her face was suddenly covered with the cold snow and the crying started instantly.

Once their snowman was finished, scarf around his neck and a carrot in his face, it stopped snowing and while Erin tucked a completely beat Emilia in for an early nap, Jay, Luke and Crispin went to the nearby park to build more snowmen there. In the meantime, Erin prepared the guest room for Rylie, who they would pick up from the Center of Hope tomorrow, and by the time her three 'men' returned from their snowy adventures, not only the room was finished but a pot of pumpkin soup was on the stove as well, ready to be served.

Since Luke had been out and about running through the snow all morning, he was as tuckered out that he went for a nap today as well, not even trying to argue when Erin suggested it after lunch as it was obvious how tired and cranky he was.

″So, what are we doing now, bug?″ Erin asked Emilia and scooped her from the highchair into her arms. ″You wanna play with mommy and daddy?″

She let her down on the floor and walked with her to her playmat in the living room and then settled on the floor next to her daughter, leaning against their couch, Crispin lying down next to her and resting his head on her thigh which was his prompt to get tickled behind his ears. Jay joined them a couple of minutes later, after finishing with the dishes, and sat down across from Erin, so Emmy was more or less in the middle.

″Dada,″ Emmy babbled.

″What do you want, princess?″ he asked. ″This here?″ He reached for one of the cups of her Stacking Up Cups toy and handed it to her. At first she eyes it skeptically, as if she wasn't sure whether this was what she wanted, but then she tried to stack it with the other cup that lay in front of her.

″You got it girl,″ Jay cheered when she managed stack them. ″Wanna try some more?″ he asked her and offered her a smaller cup.

Instead of reaching for it, she dedicated her attention to a ball, giving it a little nudge that resulted in her squeeking joyfully when it rolled over the floor toward Erin and Crispin.

″I guess that's a no,″ Erin chuckled as Emmy crawled into her direction to get her ball. ″Huh sweetie, you wanna have that?″ she asked and picked the ball up to show it to her daughter.

″Mama,″ Emmy smiled at her but instead of reaching for the ball, she used Erin's thigh to pull herself up, Erin's hand automatically wrapping around Emmy's arm to help her stand. Despite the fact that their baby girl could balance herself very well by now. As if the little girl wanted to prove a point that she could indeed do this without her mom's help, she walked a couple of steps away, Erin still holding her arm and it was in this moment that Erin realized that their daughter probably didn't need her holding her anymore and that she should let her go to see what happens.

She let go of Emilia's arm and as if it didn't make a difference for her, their daughter kept on walking with unsteady legs, her arms spread out to keep the balance as she made her way to her dad.

″Oh my God,″ Jay exclaimed stunned, his smile ever so bright. ″She's walking, she's really walking.″

″She is,″ Erin smiled equally bright. ″Keep on going Emmy, you can do it!″

″Come on, princess, one foot in front of the other,″ Jay cheered, already reaching his arms out for her so he could pick her up as soon as she was close enough. ″There you go, what a trooper you are!″ Just when she was in front of him, she lost her balance and fell on her knees and hands but Jay picked her up quickly and swirled her through the air.

″I'd say we have a walker now,″ Jay smirked proudly and brought her down to kiss her cheek. He was absolutely glowing right now.

″Yeah, pretty much,″ Erin grinned and joined the two of them, pressed a kiss against Emilia's hair. ″Mommy and daddy are so proud of you.″

″Another milestone down,″ Jay winked at his wife.

″Another milestone down,″ Erin echoed, slightly shaking her head in disbelief. Their daughter was walking, this milestone definitely making her more of a toddler than a baby, and the fact how fast their daughter was growing up, how fast time has passed since this little person was in their life, was both, bittersweet and incredible, and seeing Emmy making her first solo steps was probably one of the proudest moments of her life.

″Can you do that again, Emmy? Because daddy wants to film it so he can show it to all your uncles in the bullpen on Monday,″ Jay chuckled and put her back on the floor again. Of course proud daddy Jay Halstead wanted to film this to ensure that everyone knew about Emmy's newest milestone.

He quickly went to the kitchen to get his phone and by the time he was back, Emilia was already trying to get up again and even when her first two tries failed, she stayed determined to try it again. There was for sure not such a thing as giving up which was rewarded with a successful third try. This time, Crispin was walking right next to her as she made some unsteady steps and once again it seemed like their dog was guarding her somehow.

″Look at her go,″ Jay said, his voice all amazed, and he wrapped his free arm, that was not filming, around Erin to pull her closer.

″You know, sometimes I look at her and I still can't believe she's ours, that we made something so good and so perfect,″ she said quietly.

″Me neither,″ Jay answered and pressed the button to end his video. He would have plenty more occasions to make one anyway. ″I still don't know how we did that,″ he smirked, ″but damn sure we did good.″

″More than good actually,″ she chuckled slightly. There was something else she wanted to tell him, as now seemed to be a good moment, but for whatever reason, it got stuck in her throat and didn't make it past her lips. Maybe because she wasn't quite ready to tell him yet. Maybe because this was something that first really had to settle with her before she could share it with him. But she knew she would tell him. One day, when the time was right, when she really felt ready for this with all her heart. And until then they would continue to celebrate all of Emilia's milestones like they were the greatest occurances in history. In fact, for them they were...

Thanks for reading, I hope you liked this chapter! Please leave a Review and let me know what you think! :)