Lawnmower Man

20 minutes later. Jack had recorded everything he could and extracted a few key points:

1. The virus would only grow more powerful with time. Whatever "subsumed its previous world" meant, it didn't sound limited to shambling corpses. Any sort of safety was temporary. Unless something happened, everything was temporary.

2. He had to gather as many levels, achievements, and benefits as possible to survive.

2.a. Levels were gained from killing zombies, and should logically become easier to get the faster he killed them.

2.b. Achievements were benefits gathered through gaining the attention of 'God'. Thus he should work to identify their preferences and try to act in ways that would both gain its attention and enhance his survival.

2.c. Benefits would be anything from the world itself that would help Jack survive. Even if he had twice his current strength through stat points, a gun would be more effective in most situations.

3. 'God' was petulant, jaded, and bored out of their minds. They had used the term "a universe" so they may possible have lived through multiple. Some part of them had to be broken from that, and looking at the achievement he had received, he should expect an element of that in all it's 'gifts'.

4. 'God' was very aware of cultural artifacts, potentially obsessed due to the sheer boredom associated with it's role. Aside from the 'zombie' thing, they were a vocal fan of recreational games, and had used a glut of slang terminology.

4.a. Given #4, he might be able to use an understanding of pop-culture to better survive or get achievements. Everything new in his situation stemmed from it, and he had already used his understanding of tropes (patterns in fiction) to plan his actions and begin to protect his home. Moving forward he'd try and consider those tropes while considering his plan of attack. He'd treat this like a superpower and call it... Trope-vision! ...And if he actually used it he'd work on the name.

5. Based on the being's disappointment toward the reactions to it's message, it was clear many people weren't taking the news well. People in a panic were dangerous to themselves and others. He should try to find as many as he could quickly, but also make sure they couldn't drag him into a horde.

6. Despite acting like a total dick, 'God' was also humanity's last ally.

It was PISSED. That much was obvious. But none of it's actions had truly been detrimental to the human race. It appeared constrained by a certain balance of actions, good for bad. However, given that he was still alive, it was also capable of gaming its own system. Death was worse than life, even if life was horrifying, right? If it wanted to watch humanity die in a comedy of errors, it didn't have to give them the leveling system. There were a lot of options that would be 'good' enough to balance the 'bad' but still give him a middle finger. As an example, an extra 100 years of natural lifespan to all remaining people.

Furthermore, its actions didn't match those of an antagonist. It had mocked him in his achievement description, but did so in a way that pointed to a real limitation for him. Additionally, it seemed to make information as accessible as possible, to the point which his status put information directly into his mind. He knew just how precious that information was, and 'God' could have obscured it if it was malicious.

Moving forward, he hoped this trend would continue. If it did, he'd have to try to ignore the things the being did to mess with him, and search for the useful info it dropped while doing so.

...

With that Jack set down the journal. There was a lot more to note, including a list of priorities, locations he would target in the next few days, and the inventory he had considered earlier. But his head was hurting and he had a lot more day to get through. Besides, his first objective was obvious, secure the area around his home. Maybe level up a few times.

Entering back into his storage-bedroom, he moved a stack of containers aside and found the wooden case buried below. It was plain wood, no carvings, with a simple latch. Within it were a rifle, shotgun, and two pistols (one automatic, one revolver) which he had received when his father passed. There were 23 shotgun shells, a case of 60 bullets for the automatic, 12 (large?) shots for the revolver, and 2 cases of 50 for the rifle. He knew the numbers on the side of the bullet cases meant something, but had avoided guns all his life out of a sense of self-preservation and didn't understand them.

He knew his aim would be terrible, so he only bothered with the shotgun for now. It was pump action, with a magazine that held 8 rounds. His father had also owned a bandoleer for the shells which he had always found incredibly tacky. Now, it was annoyingly useful. He stocked that with the remaining 15 bullets, then exited his backdoor after confirming that doing so was relatively safe.

Surveying his backyard, he found the same concrete patio and small, dingy yard. It was still isolated due to the head-high wooden fence surrounding it, and had an old oak tree in the far left corner blanketing everything in shade and killing much of the grass. He was relatively tall, and could peak over the fence by standing on his toes. He still couldn't see much of the surrounding yards like that, so he went back into the house to get a step stool. Standing on that he saw a bit more, but thankfully didn't catch any movement. His goal was his neighbor Frank's lawn, one house to the right. Frank had been elderly, owned the loudest lawnmower he'd ever heard, and loved to mow his lawn at 7AM. Jack's goal was now that lawnmower, located in a shed Frank had built in his yard.

Jack snuck towards the alley between the sides of the two homes. The fence cut out about halfway to the front yard, and looking in that direction he saw multiple figures shuffling in the street. He was momentarily caught in a panic, but thankfully none of those things were looking in his direction. Swiftly moving around the fence, he confirmed the vacancy of Frank's yard before opening the shed. Bingo. One riding mower far too large for the property it was on. He grabbed the keys from where they were hanging near the door, put the mower out of park, and rolled it to the fence furthest from the house.

Using his new found 'Trope-sight', this would be where something was most likely to go wrong. On this side of the lawn the earth substantially slanted down to meet the fence. Jack had hoped that he could tilt the mower enough to roll it onto the fence, but it weighed hundreds of pounds. He could not, in fact, lift it enough to roll it. Jogging to the shed, he found a metal rake and a dented bucket... "Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it..." Archimedes had it right. Running back, he placed the top of the rake into a wheel rim, put the bucket under it, and was just barely able to lever the machine to its side. He was grateful that, somehow, the fence held.

Quickly checking behind him to avoid a jumpscare (activate, Trope-o-location!), Jack first put the bucket next to the fence neighboring his yard, doing his best to find an area obscured by a bush. Then, keys in hand, he crawled under the mower, found the ignition, and turned the switch. Nothing happened. He was starting to panic, jamming key to the side over and over. Just when he was going to give up, something caught and the mower roared to life! Jack had never been more happy to hear that sound (or happy to hear it at all). He crawled as quickly as he could from under it, ran to the bucket, and attempted to use it as a step to prop himself over the fence. He teetered at the top for a moment, then fell on his back into his own yard, shotgun clattering next to him and a few shells falling out of his bandoleer. Panting, he scampered up, grabbed the weapon, ran to his backdoor, through his home, and up the stairs to the exercise room at the back of the second floor. Now winded, he arrived at a window where he could watch what would happen in Frank's yard.

... What the hell had he been doing on his patio if he could just look down from up here?