Antique Hunting

Was it always this bright outside the apartment? And I swear the hallway carpet wasn't always this seafoam blue color. The air smells so clean out here too.

Victoria manhandles me around the apartment building and up the elevator until we arrive at a long hallway on the 6th floor with apartment doors on each side.

"So do you have a plan or something? If you want me to help you invade someone's apartment like you did mine I'm not helping."

"Quit whining. This'll be so easy you won't even have to think about it." As she says this she reaches into her pocket and swiftly swipes something thin across my neck.

"Hey what'd you do that-"

"I need you to put this in your ear and only repeat what I say." She holds out an earpiece in her hand motioning for me to take it.

My lips shut preventing me from arguing with her. My body turns to stone and the only motion I can make is one not of my own volition. I grab the earpiece and put it in my ear just as she said.

"Alright, good luck!" She gleefully says as she walks away from me back towards the elevator.

"Alright, good luck!" I repeat back. Wait why did I say that? Where is she going? Why can't I move my own body?!

"Hey, can you hear me?" She broadcasts from my earpiece.

"Hey, can you hear me?"

"Guess that means yes!"

"Guess that means yes!" Please make it stop.

She pauses for a second. "Hm, if you could talk, I bet you'd say this is getting annoying. Stop repeating me for a sec, I need to think."

Thank you. Now if she'd stop doing whatever she's doing and release me I could wring her neck for controlling me however she is.

"So, what I need you to do is go up to apartment number 76 and knock on the door. Then just repeat everything I say again."

I had no choice. My stiff limbs swing like a toy soldier's, walking me past the apartments along the hall until I reach the one she dictated me to knock on.

The door creaks open, and from it, a large man, at least six and a half feet tall with concrete arms opens the door to greet me. Well… greet might be a strong word because his face doesn't look like it's in much of a greeting mood. And his lax pajama pants and plain white tee make it look like I just interrupted a pretty intense lazy Sunday.

"What do you want?" His baritone voice bellows.

Nothing came from Victoria, so all I can do is silently stare at him.

"I don't have any money to give you, sorry. Don't knock on my door again." He grabs his door handle to push the door shut.

"Um, I'm a building inspector. I'm here to check for any safety or health hazards." She has me blurt out before he can completely close it.

"Really? You should inspect yourself as a health hazard before you come in here," he chuckles to himself. "If you're here trying to sell me something I don't want it." Again, he moves to shut me out.

"Hey… I may be unhygienic… And stink like a rat… But I'm a health inspector nonetheless, and I expect you to respect that!" Ignoring the hurtful words that she's forcing me to repeat about myself, why does she sound out of breath? And is that wind I hear?

"Can I see some ID then?"

"Sure of course, just let me reach inside my pocket which is a thing I am being commanded to do right now." While my hands work to reach for an ID that doesn't exist, from the man's open window I can see a dark hand grab hold of the windowsill from outside. The mystery intruder hoists themselves up, revealing a seemingly exhausted Victoria who quietly lifts herself into the man's room.

 We're on the 6th floor, and my apartment window is on the other side of the building! How did she manage to get up here!?

"So, no ID?" He started. "You're going to have to leave me alone if you know what's good for you." He says, taking a step closer to me.

"Well, you should know assaulting a government official is a crime."

Suddenly his focus shifts from me to something else. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Victoria you idiot, he can hear you talking to me from inside his apartment!

"That! That voice! It's like I'm hearing double!" The man continues. As we talk, I can catch glimpses of Victoria behind him, surveying the room for something.

"There must be a gas leak that's making you hear things."

"It sounds like it's coming from my -" His discovery is cut short as the second he turns around Victoria hammers a frying pan into his skull, producing a loud thunk right out of a cartoon and knocking him to the floor.

"Phew, good job! I think we're good for now. You're free."

With my body back under my control, I immediately grip Victoria's shoulder. "What did you do to me!?"

"Oh, I just used this." She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a lime green credit card with black numbers engraved on it. "This little thing here is,"

Antique #18: Command Card

The user can swipe the card against another person, and command them to do anything the user asks. (Proper payment is required for any command to commence)

"You took control of my body! You broke into this guy's apartment…"

"Technically you helped me break in too. That's aiding and abetting."

"That's because you forced me! What are you thinking, that has to be illegal!"

"Don't worry I work for the government. Basically everything I do is fine by the law. And it's all for the greater good anyway." Victoria holds up her makeshift weapon triumphantly. "Cause this makes it all worth it."

"A frying pan. You mind-controlled me for a frying pan." I'm close. I can feel it. Close to throwing her out the window she just climbed through and being done with all of this. "I can't be a part of this."

As I let go and start back home she grabs my arm again. "Curator or not you're still coming with me. Leaving isn't an option I'm giving you."

I've had enough of this! Enough of her thinking she can boss me around like this! I'm sorry Catherine but she's asking for it!

I lock my fist on a course towards her nose. As it barrels towards her, she handily blocks my attack with her palm, grabs my arm, and flips me over her onto the floor. All so fast that I don't notice it happen until it's over.

"Wow! You didn't even hesitate to try and hit me! A woman!"

"You deserve worse than what I was going to do."

"Ahhh, I knew you still had some fight in you! You're gonna make a great Curator! Or at least a pretty entertaining one! And for your information, this isn't any old frying pan," she clarifies. "This is

Antique #72: Pan Perfection

This pan is capable of perfectly cooking any meal, no matter the user's level of experience. 

"You just add the ingredients, and it cooks them however you need no matter what." She marveled.

I pick myself up from the ground using the wall as support. "You're a psychopath. Is every Curator like you? Ack, my back!"

"They wish! Now let's get out of this shithole or else they might not let me keep the frying pan." I don't want to go with her. After she just beat me down I don't want to let her win. But my back won't be able to take another throw like that. Reluctantly, I follow her back down the hallway until we reach the bronze elevator doors.

"Soooooo, do you want to pack anything before we go? Toothbrush, a suitcase, some clean clothes," Victoria asks.

"Oh yeah, I still need to put on a shirt." Down at my door, I enter in search of my essentials with Victoria tailing me. "Do you mind?" I ask, "I just need a minute to collect my things."

"Fiiiinnnnneeee," She groans. "Just get out in 10 minutes or I'm knocking the door down."

Digging through Catherine and I's shared things I rediscover things I'd forgotten. A picture of us on our first date, my wallet filled with my last 50 dollars, and a bag of our favorite chocolates. I don't remember buying these, they must be a month old.

I'll take everything… except the chocolates, along with my suitcase and I should probably change into something. I have to have some clean clothes in here somewhere… Aha!

"Did you fall in the toilet or something?" She yells through the door.

I open the door, bag in hand wearing the only clean clothes I could find, a white sweatshirt with a cute tiger picture on the front and black sweatpants with another cute animal, this time a penguin on the hip.

"What's with the cutesy animal clothes? You look... interesting."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'll probably get written up if I say what I'm actually thinking, so let's just say you look interesting."

"This was a gift from someone very important to me!"

"Woah didn't mean to tick a nerve. Interesting doesn't have to mean bad. Just think of special as a compliment."

"Sure, I'll do that."

Catherine, I'm going to become a Curator. It's not what I thought I'd be doing with my life, especially not with someone like this, but you said I was always pretty resourceful. Whenever something would break around the apartment, I always found some way to fix it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. Not just of becoming a Curator but leaving the apartment. Because it feels like I'm leaving you. But you'll never leave me, right? Wherever I go, you'll always be with me.