Chapter 5

According to Katarina, there were only two more days until I was finally shipped off to the Rostovs' estate for presumably the rest of my life. Despite the fact I was leaving, very little was being packed up into boxes to be taken aside from my jewelry and a few of the more extravagant of my gowns. It seemed like Katarina, Olga, and Alisa had more things to do concerning the move than I did. They all seemed strangely amenable to moving away to a completely new place with me. 

According to Olga, after I inquired as to why they were okay with it, even without the princess abusing the maids, the turnover for castle staff was high. If the already high pressure atmosphere wasn't enough to make one quit, then the cabal of old head maids who relentlessly tormented those they deemed unfit for the job were definitely enough to do it. If they came with me they would still get the same salary too which was nice as well.

Not wanting to disturb them while they sorted out their affairs, and wanting to keep as far away from Andrei as I possibly could, I decided to spend my last few days in the palace holed up in my room. The only time I left my room was to sneak down to the library or use the restroom. Since I was enraptured by it, I asked the librarian to recommend some more books like Travelogue, fiction or not. I didn't really care. 

And thus I spent two days immersed in stories real and fake of unexplained phenomena. No matter how unnerved I was by the contents of the books I was reading I found it easier to pretend like my current situation was not happening.

Of course I couldn't just totally escape from everything. Every now and then I could tell I wasn't really reading, just scanning the words on the page while thinking about something else. 

At the end of these two days I was the most relaxed I had been since I found myself in Kitty's body. Part of this was thanks to the fact I finally got some proper sleep instead of having nightmares.

When it was finally time to depart I found myself habitually sitting in front of the vanity brushing my hair and humming pleasantly. I had noticed these past few days that the more I relaxed, the more my body went about doing things the previous owner would do. This morning I didn't feel particularly like dealing with all the hullabaloo surrounding the move and went on autopilot. 

I watched myself in the mirror, I was again stunned by how pretty I was. I had been secretly admiring Katarina and the others the few times I had seen them. There was simply no competing with the beauty afforded to those who were not human, even if they were drawn to be plain. But now, sitting here in front of my vanity I was once again reminded that Kitty was certainly designed to be a formidable rival character. If I hadn't been her, I thought there was a very real chance that I would have fallen in love with her.

The lovesick part of my mind that had been slumbering since that fateful night finally awoke like a venomous snake to kill any thought of love.

"Love," it hissed,"you foolish, foolish girl. What this body possesses is merely good looks. She possesses so much more. Was she wrong to choose you?"

"No, of course not. You're right, I love Anna and it was dumb to think of anything else even as a fleeting thought," I responded in kind.

This seemed to satiate the beast but a new problem had arisen. The face being reflected in the mirror wore an expression of absolute rage. I could tell that it did not match the current expression on my face. As I wrest control of my body back so I could investigate further I was stopped by Katarina who burst into my room with a panicked look on her face. The addition of another person caused the illusion to be dispelled. The mirror was now just a mirror again.

I was secretly a little annoyed by this interruption but I tried to keep my response from betraying it,"What's the matter, Katarina?"

"You really must hurry up Kitty. Everyone is ready to leave except for you."

I looked at the clock, somehow I had completely lost track of time, it was a little after ten minutes on the hour. I was supposed to have left nearly half an hour ago. Katarina helped me get dressed as quickly as possible and thankfully we departed only an hour later than planned. 

As I watched the royal palace get smaller and smaller I couldn't help but feel a bit melancholy. I had only spent a few days there but I was sure Kitty would be feeling depressed about leaving everything she had known behind and even though I detested her actions I still felt a bit of that sadness for her. 

Once the palace was well and truly out of sight I spent the rest of the ride oscillating between profoundly bored and overwhelmingly nauseous. I had brought a book to read on the way but I hadn't accounted for carriage sickness. Thankfully we made frequent stops so I could get out and stretch my legs. Every time we stopped the maid who sat with me in my personal carriage swapped out. This is when I finally learned how to differentiate between Olga and Alisa personality wise. 

Both were very in touch with their feminine sides, aside from having a seemingly inexhaustible list of fashion faux pas to share with me, both told me their biggest wish after leaving my service would be to take care of children. Olga wanted to become a teacher, just like Vera and Alisa wanted to take charge of the orphanage. When I told both of them I found it to be a very noble goal, they both giggled in the exact same pitch of voice and I went right back to not being able to tell the two apart. 

Katarina was surprisingly quiet during the time I spent with her. I was confused because she was normally very chatty but I decided not to press and instead just stared out the window. 

It felt like it had been years since we left but we finally reached some cousin or another's estate to rest on before we made it to the Rostovs. I hadn't been paying paying attention to Katarina when she told me who we were staying with and I could feel the blood drain from my face when I heard the porter announce that "The Princess Bezukehva had finally arrived at the Sherbatsky family summer home." 

I was certainly not in the right state of mind to spend the night worrying about and trying to avoid Natasha. The run in I had had with her at the party had made it quite clear that I should avoid her at all costs. 

Luckily Natasha was still at their house in the city preparing to make the trek up north to their northern estate in order to attend my party. One of the maids told me quite helpfully that I had only just missed her and that she would probably be stopping here tomorrow. 

Of course I wasn't entirely lucky, Leo was still here. I didn't think he was a particular threat to me but every single important character I had had the displeasure of running into, so far, had been nothing but a massive thorn in my side. My research had also pinpointed Leo as by far the most dangerous love interest. Although having finally seen Andrei I thought the two of them were probably evenly matched. 

I had tried to read as little about the story as I could but I couldn't help it when it came to him. He was the one I bought the game for after all. The coveted androgynous man archetype that I found myself helplessly attracted to. The big problem I had with Leo now was that he was a borderline psychopath and an even bigger sadist. Hypothetically I should be fine when it came to him, there was a very small chance of the two of us ever being alone in a room together. Still, it never hurt to be prepared and thus I made it a priority to eat dinner in my room and avoid the man as best as I could. 

When I had finally settled in for the night, I nearly immediately passed out due to exhaustion. If only I knew how steam engines work. I would take an old fashioned, steam powered train over sitting in that carriage for another eight to ten hours. 

I had been placed on a ground floor and my room made great use of huge bay windows to show off what was probably an exquisite rose garden in the summer. Instead all I could see from my windows was dead plants blanketed in snow and, more mysteriously, a small flashing light coming from beyond the gardens and in the woods. I felt myself inadvertently drawn to it.

The rational part of my mind was down on her hands and knees, begging me to ignore it and just go to sleep. Unfortunately my curiosity got the better of me and I put on what outside clothes I could find and slipped out the door to see what the light was.