Nai

The bubbles give off a floral scent I can't name but the smell is relaxing anyway. A sigh escapes me as I close my eyes suddenly feeling sleepy. It takes my brain a little too long to realise that someone is rubbing a cloth across my chest.

Asher is sitting next to the tub, a washcloth in his hands. I give him a lazy smile as I allow him to continue. I feel him clean me all over. A moan rings out in the silence as he brushes against my hardening cock.

I look at him startled. How could I be hard again so soon?

He smirks at me, that annoying smirk. I glare at him again, he just chuckles at me. Quickly, I close my eyes to avoid the humour in his.

He taps my chest, which makes me open my eyes. He gives me a cute lopsided smile.

"You ok?" he asks.

"Sleepy," I sign back, too tired to speak. He nods and pulls me up. He helps me out of the bath and dries me. I try to protest but he glares at me, I chuckle at him.

We climb into bed and I sigh, feeling content and happy. He wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head.

-------

I'm alone when I wake up. I pat the space next to me expecting to feel flesh and heat instead it feels cold and empty.

Getting up I quickly put some clothes on and go in search of my hunk of a boyfriend. He isn't anywhere in the house. I notice the kitchen door open so I check outside.

At first, I don't see him or anything unusual, but that changes quickly as I walk around the porch to the side of the house. My eyes bulge almost out of my head at what I see.

A very naked Asher coming out of the tree line, pulling on some shorts.

I don't quite know what to make of it. Why would he be walking in the woods naked? Lots of possibilities flash through my mind but there is only one that makes sense and it weighs heavily in my heart.

Asher hasn't noticed me yet so I quickly go back inside hoping he will explain and it won't be what I am imagining.

I'm in the kitchen when he comes in and I can tell he hadn't expected to see me awake.

"Nai! When did you wake up?" he asks me looking back outside. He looks scared, that just adds more evidence to what I am thinking. I smile at him pretending I don't know anything.

"I've only just got up. Where were you?" I ask, begging him in my heart to tell me the truth. He rubs the back of his neck like he does when he's nervous.

"Oh I went for a run," he tells me and my heart sinks. "I'm going to take a shower, do you want to join me?" he asks, wiggling his eyebrows as nothing has happened. I force a smile and shake my head.

He walks up to me and kisses me lightly on the lips and says he won't be long. I follow him upstairs and whilst he is in the shower I quickly grab my bag and quickly run out of the house and down the dirt road.

'He lied to me!' I repeat like a chant in my head ignoring the growing pain in my heart. The only reason I can think of for him being in the woods naked is that he had sex. This is his family's land, after all, someone could have easily met him.

Why else would he be out there naked?

Things didn't make sense, I thought things were good between us. Was it the sex? Was I not good enough or experienced enough for him? Did he need something more? Something I couldn't give him.

Tears start pouring out, falling down my cheeks.

The drive here had only taken about twenty minutes, but walking back is going to be longer. I just hope that I can remember the way back, or that he has a long shower. Giving me time to get back into town or at least put enough distance in between us.

I eventually leave the dirt road and walk beside the road that leads into town. Every car that passes stops my heart, I keep expecting them to stop and to see him.

Tears continue streaming down my face. I try brushing them away but more fall making a path down my cheek before I can get rid of them.

'He cheated on me, he lied to me,' I repeat over and over again. The words and emotions sink heavily in my heart. The thought constricts my throat, I feel like I can't breathe. Like someone is gripping my heart, squeezing the life from it.

A car races past me going in the direction of the cabin. A loud sound has me turning. The car is braking hard and reversing. I panic at first thinking it's Asher, but thankfully it isn't his truck.

A large jeep stops in front of me and the window winds down.

"Doctor Holby?" I ask, surprised to see him. He smiles at me as I wipe my eyes before he leans forward.

"Nai, are you ok?" he asks.

"I'm fine," I say quickly.

"Where are you headed? Perhaps I can drop you off?" he says. I wonder why he's there. Where had he been going? Did Asher call him? I look back down the long road, I've still got so far to go. I'm reluctant to walk now mainly because I know once Asher realises I've gone all he has to do is get in the car.

"Can you take me home?" I ask him.

"Where is Asher? I thought you two were spending the weekend together?" he asks me. I have a sinking feeling Asher did call him when he noticed I was gone.

"Can you take me home? If not then I'll say goodbye," I say trying to sound stronger than I feel. Dr Holby looks like he is thinking about it before reaching over and opening the door for me.

"I'll take you home," he says finally. I climb in and refuse to look at him again, he makes a U-turn and drives back to town. I try to ignore the pain in my chest whilst forcing my tears to stop falling.

When he pulls up at my house he stops me from getting out straight away. I look up at him surprised.

"What happened?" he asks me. I shake my head and get out quickly, I don't want to think about it anymore.

Thankfully mum is out when I walk in, probably at the store. I climb under my covers and allow the tears to finally flood out. My chest heaves in pain as I try to breathe.

My watch buzzes, I take it off and throw it away. I do the same with my hearing aids, I welcome the silence for the first time in a long time.

------

I must have fallen asleep because mum wakes me up sometime later. She doesn't question why my hearing aids are out. I see them on my desk along with my watch as I sit up to look at her.

'What happened?' she asks me, fresh tears flow. She instantly takes me in her arms. Giving me one of her best mom hugs.

'Asher is downstairs,' she tells me when she eventually pulls back. I instantly shake my head at her, she smiles softly at me and nods.

Nervously, I wait for her to come back, fearing Asher will burst through the door any second now. The tight grip on my lungs releases when she walks in.

'He's gone, he didn't want to, but I convinced him to give you time,' she signs, I nod. 'Tell me what happened,' she asks me.

'I think he cheated on me,' I tell her, the words tasting bitter. She naturally looks shocked. 'When I woke up I couldn't find him. The kitchen door was open so I went outside and he walked out of the forest naked before putting on some shorts. He was surprised to see me awake and just said he went for a run,' I sign. Thankful that I don't have to talk, I know my voice will break if I do.

'Oh honey!' she says wrapping me in a hug. 'Did you ask him what he was doing? There could be an explanation for that,' she says when she pulls back. I shake my head, I've already thought of all possible explanations and none sound plausible except this one.

'You won't know if you don't let him explain,' she says with a sad smile. I don't want to talk about it anymore, I get out of bed and tell her I am going to have a shower, I don't wait for her reply.

------

It's been two weeks since I've seen Asher, I took a few days off school and then steeled myself for a confrontation when I went back but he hadn't been in school either. People commented on his absence but I ignored them.

'Even Clay isn't in school either, which is even stranger. Do you think he and Asher had a fight over that new guy?' I saw someone say.

I don't want to think about it, I'm struggling myself. Sleep has been next to impossible and I feel like I'm going crazy. Every time I think of Asher being with someone else, another wave of pain courses through me.

Thankfully during the day, at least at school, I can focus on my school work but when I get home everything I've pushed back came crashing down onto me like a ton of bricks. There is no escape.

It's like he's everywhere. No matter what I look at or pick up it reminds me of him.

That day I came home early from school. During lunch, I had nearly fainted so the nurse sent me home. Mum is at work, she had wanted to come to get me but I told her to stay at work. I was just going to sleep anyway.

I'm, currently, laid on the sofa staring into space when the light for the door starts blinking telling me someone is at the door. Halfway there, I stop panicking, is it, Asher? The light flashes again and taking a deep I open the door.

It's not Asher. A woman that looks a lot like him is standing there.

"Hello," I say as she smiles sadly at me.

"Hello, I'm Nola, Asher's mum," she says and I gasp.

I remember what Asher told me about how she reacted to the news that he liked me.

"Can I come in?" she asks. I numbly nod whilst stepping aside for her to enter.

She walks into the kitchen and takes a seat on the small dining table. I offer her a drink but she shakes her head and pats the space across from her, telling me to sit down.

I fiddle with my fingers as I wait for her to speak, she's just looking at me. I don't know what she is looking for but she seems to find it as she smiles.

"You look just as bad as Asher does," she says, I stare at her in shock.

"What!"

She chuckles before turning serious.

"Nai, I won't lie to you. When Asher first told me about his feelings for you, I was against it.

Don't get me wrong I have nothing against gay people, I just didn't want my son to be gay. That may make me selfish and small-minded, but I had always dreamed of him having his own family. Getting married and having children and in all those dreams his partner was a woman.

He never showed any signs of being interested in men, so I just thought he would one day come home with a girlfriend.

I want him to be happy and I wasn't sure he would be with you. Not that you wouldn't make him happy, I just thought he could be happier with someone that can give him children.

I'm sorry for thinking that way, but he's my son.

I was shocked and didn't handle it well, but then the month that followed I saw how happy he was. I had wanted to share that happiness but I didn't know how to make things right with him.

Then he comes home, in pain, in tears. All he could say was that you left, you won't talk to him, or tell him why. He doesn't understand why you left, he thought you were happy with him.

He is so broken, he barely eats or sleeps. As a mother, it kills me to see him like this.

When I decided to come here I had planned on shouting at you, but I can see you are in just as much pain as he is, if not more.

You look just as bad as he does. I bet you are barely sleeping or eating too?" I nod as tears fall down my cheeks, she gently takes my hand.

"Can you tell me what happened? Can you explain to me why you left my son?" she asks.

I tell her what I told my mother and she thinks for a minute before a gentle smile forms on her face.

"Will you do something for me?" she asks, I nod confused. "Come home with me," I stare at her in shock. "I promise it isn't what you are thinking, it will become clear if you come with me."

I hesitate, not sure if I'm ready to see him. She taps my hand making me look at her again.

"Do you love my son?" she asks. I nod slowly and she smiles wider. She stands and takes my hand. "Then give him this one chance to explain, I promise it will be worth it," she says leading me outside. She doesn't take no for an answer as I let her lead me to her car.

The drive to her house is quiet as I try to calm my nerves.

Once we arrive, I follow her inside and up several stairs and into a small kitchen area. She tells me to sit down and then disappears.

A younger looking Asher comes through and stops. He looks at me surprised.

"Who are you …..?" he starts to ask me but stops. We both turn when I feel rather than hear Asher walk up.

"Nai!"