Chapter 26

POISON

Getting serious with someone was really tricky. At ayoko nang pakaisipin pa yon. Sumasakit lang ang ulo ko. I needed so bad to forget. About Peter's engagement.. and Calvin's deception. My heart or maybe my ego got bruised from his deceit. Kahit hindi ko siya minahal ay inisip ko pa ring magseryoso na sa kanya at pag aralan siyang mahalin. Buti na lang at sinalba ako ni Travis even before I could fall.

Probably, it would be another heart break for me.

So now that I can think clearly, I decided to get some fun time this summer. A summer fling wouldn't hurt.

I took my flight to Surigao alone, switched my phone off and cancelled my hotel reservation with Calvin and stayed in one of the best hotel here.

And I swear, once I get to the bar I would drink my heart's out and get a one night stand.

I dropped my luggage on the couch and started unpacking. After that I looked around the room.. I noticed that there was a connecting door in my suite. I just shrugged my shoulders and decided to shower.

I was starving so I might as well get something before heading to the bar.

I wore my black tube dress and a white belt. I paired it with my white pumps and finished it off with my smoky eyes and nude lipstick. I let my long brown hair loose. I left my keycard to the reception, ate quietly at the hotel's restaurant and went straight to the bar.

I squinted my eyes when the neon lights hit my face. I looked around and saw long couches and tables scattered around the dance floor. The dance floor was a bit elevated and I just thought that it wasn't a good thing for drunk people. They might fall or get into an accident. The one who designed this bar was an idiot.

Nagkibit balikat ako at mabilis na naupo sa counter. My back was against the entrance.

I ordered cocktail and gave my room number. I didn't take anything with me. I planned on getting drunk tonight so bringing valuables wouldn't be wise.

After few drinks, I ordered two shots of tequila. I felt giddy after I finished it. The bar was getting busier and more crowded as time goes by. I've chatted to men but I didn't fancy any of them. Syempre, pipili ako ng makakaone night stand ko. Hindi yong kung sino lang. i just hope he doesn't have any sexual transmitted disease.

I got amazed when some drunk girl fell off the dance floor and someone caught her just before her face got planted on the tiled floor below.

I was mesmerised with his broad shoulders. And his reflexes. I haven't seen his face and yet he got my attention.

I smiled to myself. He would be my target..

I stood up and combed my hair with fingers and wiped my wet lips to be presentable. I should impress him like how he impressed me so I could take him to my suite or vice versa.

I unsteadily walked towards him. Medyo tinamaan na ako sa ininom ko dahil hindi naman ako pala inom.

Napakunot ang noo ko nang bigla syang nawala! Inilinga ko ang ulo ko kung saan saan na mas ikinahilo ko kaya napagdesisyunan ko na lang na bumalik.

Sayang..

Naupo ulit ako pero sa bandang gilid na dahil may umukopa na sa pwesto ko at nag order ulit. Sa gilid ko ay may nakaupong lalaki na hindi ko masyadong makita ang mukha dahil madilim sa banda namin.

Napalingon ako sa kanya at nakita ang side profile niya. Napakurap ako at napailing.

Kamukha niya si Peter! Or Kuya Lindsey..

Damn.. lasing na ata ako..

I giggled with my own thought and gulped my eighth tequila. Or ninth?

Napipikit na ako kaya isinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa counter.

Maybe I should just try tomorrow. Baka makita ko siya ulit..

I heaved a sigh then closed my eyes. I felt tired and wanting to snuggle under my blanket.

"Hey baby girl.. do you want to have some fun tonight?"bulong sa akin na ikinadilat ko. Dahan dahan akong tumingin sa lalaki.

He wasn't bad. He's handsome, tall and a foreigner. Napatango ako agad.

Maybe I shouldn't be picky. If he wasn't good, then maybe tomorrow night, I would get another one until I got satisfied.

He smiled at me and pulled me towards his hard body.

Napakapit ako sa dress shirt niya at tiningala siya. When he was about to kiss me, someone pulled him away from me.

I held onto the high stair to steady myself. Nahihilo na ako at nasusuka so I walked zigzagged to the toilet.

I didn't bother to look for that guy.

I felt an instant relief when I vomited all the alcohol and food I had. Maybe next time, to get a partner, I should slow down my alcohol intake. To get a better judgment.

Napangiwi ako ng makitang kumalat na ang make up ko so I tried to fix it as much as I could. Then I went back to the bar.

Nakakadiri naman na makipaghalikan pa rin ako sa ibang lalaki matapos kong sumuka so nagdecide na akong bumalik na lang sa room ko.

On my way out, someone grabbed my wrist. I pulled my arm away in reflex. Then I saw the same guy who tried to kiss me. His left eye was swollen.

Oh my!

"You flirted at me and now I got this from your boyfriend!"galit na sigaw ng lalaki.

"I should get back at him by fucking his girl." Halatang lasing na lasing na siya. Bigla niya akong hinila palabas at pwersahan niyakap.

Sinubukan ko siyang itulak pero sobrang lakas niya. Madilim sa labas ng bar kaya walang makakakita sa amin kung ipilit niya ang sarili kahit pa magkakadikit lang ang restaurant , hotel at bar. At syempre, it was too late already.

Napasigaw ako ng hablutin niya ang dress ko at napunit.

Hinila niya ako ulit at tinulak sa may damuhan sa gilid ng bar.

Napaupo ako agad at sinubukang gumapang palayo. Nahihilo pa rin ako kaya hindi ko kayang tumakbo. Hinila niya ang paa ko kaya napasigaw ulit ako.

Tapos biglang nabitawan niya ako at nakarinig ako ng mura at tunog nang lagatok ng buto. Napatingin ako at nakita ang malapad na mga balikat ng lalaking nakita ko sa bar. He was punching the drunk foreigner. He was now with his white fitted shirt and his leather jacket was on the grass. Nanginginig na gumapang ako palapit sa jacket niya at kinuha ito.

Naamoy ko ang pamilyar na pabangong sobra kong namiss. Napaiyak ako at niyakap ang jacket.

I felt and looked pathetic. I tried to get someone to make me forget about him but I ended up in a messy fight and nearly got raped. I was really unlucky..

Parang kinukutya pa ako sa music na tumutugtog. It was Katy Perry's hit song Thinking of You.

Comparisons are easily done

Once you've had a taste of perfection

A pair of big hands pulled me up.

Like an apple hanging from a tree

I picked the ripest one

I still got the seed

With my wobbling legs I tried to get up and clutched onto his shirt. He hugged me tight. Like he was giving me his warmth.

You said move on

Where do I go?

I cried..thinking of the same think he said in his interview.. Saan ba ako pupunta?

I guess second best

Is all I will know

I did try to love someone else..but they weren't like him..

Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you

The stranger kissed my head.. I'm with this man but all I could think of was him..

What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night

I hope.. siya na lang.. siya na lang ang kasama ko ngayon.

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into your eyes

I glanced up in shocked when he whispered something on my ear.

Here.. the first and last man I've ever love was hugging me and comforting me.

I sobbed and pulled his head for a kiss.

If he would only let me. I would show how I love him still.

At the background, Katy Perry's sad and regretful voice was all I can hear..

Peter carried me to my hotel room after I kissed him. He didn't kissed me back. So I just kept quiet while crying.

Maybe he didn't want me anymore. Maybe he's happy now with his fiancée.

When he opened my hotel door I struggled myself so he could let me down.

But he kept me in his arms and finally laid me down my bed. I instantly curled up and hid my pathetic tears.

"I'll prepare your bath then I'll leave you alone." He said coldly and I heard the running water.

I sobbed again. I totally regretted everything I did back then. And now it's too painful to see him like this. Uncaring..His sweet and husky voice was now cold. I felt cold. He changed. He wasn't the same man I fell in love with. He totally changed..

I sat up and saw his jacket I was holding. I hugged it tight and smelled him.

I'm so stupid for letting him go. I'm stuck and couldn't move on while he's happy with someone new.

The tap went off so even if I wanted so bad to hug it more, I let it go. Just how I let him go before.

I placed it on my bed and wiped my tears and stood up slowly. He came out from the bathroom.

I took him all in. He was wearing his white fitted shirt and jeans. He looked hella hot.

I blinked my tears away when I remember that I told him how I liked him wearing that.. but I guess, she wanted him that way too.

I looked away and walked heavily to the bathroom. Jealousy was eating me whole.

"I'll send some soup to warm your stomach."he said then left my room. Bigla akong natigilan at nawala ang selos ko.

Napatingin lang ako sa likod niya at napaluha pagkatapos sumara ang pintuan. Hindi man lang siya tumingin sa akin.. nang biglang naalala ko ang sinabi niya ay napatakbo ako sa bathroom at nagtanggal ng damit at nagbabad.

Sabi niya, maghahatid siya ng soup. So dapat bilisan ko dahil baka maghintay lang siya sa labas. Wala siyang duplicate key ng room ko. Maybe I should give him one kung sakaling gusto niyang tignan ako mamaya..

Nakokontentong ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko. I should understand him. We didn't end well. I pushed him away. So maybe I should make friends with him then I could offer him some arrangements.. I must be desperate but I just wanted to spend more time with him while we're in this place.. maybe.. just maybe I can be his summer fling. Men tend to get a cold feet before they get married so I can offer myself to give him pleasure then once our holiday's finished, he can go back to his fiancée and marry her. We would go in separate ways.. a little time with him was all I want..

When I heard the doorbell ring, I sighed and opened the door with my big smile.

My smile dropped when I saw a girl with a cart instead of Peter. She looked nervous, so I smiled at her and opened the door wider.

My heart was constricting in pain.

Of course.. he wouldn't come back for me.. he wouldn't want to deal with some crazy immature ex that knew nothing but to make his life hell..

At kapag nalaman pa ng fiancée niya, baka mag away pa sila. Dahil ganoon din ang gagawin ko kapag ako ang nasa pwesto nung babae.

I gave the girl a generous tip and ate the food he ordered for me. Atleast.. alam pa rin niya ang gusto kong kainin.. pampalubag loob ko sa sarili.

My tears kept pouring down until I finished the soup. I laughed sarcastically at myself. I pushed him away and now, I want him back? Ngayong maayos na ang buhay niya at masaya na siya.

Makasarili talaga ako.. All I want was my happiness. And nothing else mattered.

I wiped my tears while shaking my head. I realised that he didn't even wish me good night.

I went to my bed and think about how my life became worthless. I wanted so bad to move on.. but something was holding me back.. and now that I saw him doing well, maybe I would try to finally set him free..

With so much bitterness in my heart, I decided to let everything go.. from this pain.. from my love for him that's becoming a poison to my whole being.

I should deal with this situation like a matured woman. I couldn't let him see me this pitiful and pathetic.

My pride wouldn't let me.

I woke up with a killer headache. I got up and showered. My eyes went wide when I saw them swelled up. Napasampal ako sa noo ko.

Paano ako makakalabas ng hotel room ko kung ganito ang itsura ko? Baka imbes makakuha ng atensyon sa mga lalaki ay mapangitan pa sila.

So I ordered my breakfast and decided to stay all day in my hotel room. At baka sa gabi nalang ako magswimming. Siguro mawawala naman na ang namamaga kong mga mata.

I browsed the internet and watched some movies I downloaded in my laptop for me and Calvin sana. Napaisip ako tungkol sa kanya. Maybe I should talk to him personally para makipaghiwalay ng maayos. He became my good friend before this happens. At kahit nagsinungaling siya ay karapatan pa rin niya malaman ang dahilan ko kung bakit ako nagdesisyong makipaghiwalay. Anyway, he should know that by now..

After the movie, I charged my phone and did some yoga. To clear my head and calm myself down. After lunch, i lied down and put some cream around my eyes and finished it with some cucumber.

Nakaidlip ulit ako. Nagising ako nang makarinig ng katok sa pinto ko.

I lazily got up and rubbed my tired eyes. Shit! Nakalimutan ko yong cream. Nagpunta ako sa banyo para sana tignan ang mga mata ko pero mas malalakas at mabibigat na ang mga katok. Kaya pinabayaan ko na lang ang cream sa mukha ko at binuksan ang pinto.

Napaatras ako nang biglang pumasok nang parang toro si Peter at inilibot ang tingin sa kwarto ko. Hindi siya nakontento at pumasok pa sa banyo ko at binuksan ang sliding door para tignan ang balcony ko. Tapos sa huli ay pabigla niyang binuksan ang closet ko na malaki at kakasya ang isang tao.

"What's happening?" Naguguluhan kong tanong habang iniinspeksyon niya ang buong kwarto ko. Pati comforter ko ay itinaas niya at tinignan din ang ilalim ng bed ko na may kataasan.

"Hey.."sabi ko at humawak sa braso nyang maugat nang balak niya ulit pumasok sa banyo ko.

"I'm checking this place." He said coldly then went to my bathroom and checked the space behind the door.

"Who are you with last night?" He demanded when he came out of the bathroom. He's so gorgeous with his furrowed eyebrows and pressed lips.

I looked at him in confusion. Lasing din ba siya kagabi? Siya lang naman yong kasama ko kagabi eh..

His eyes became sharp when I didn't answer him immediately.

"Y-you.." paos kong bulong at iniwas ang tingin. Pati pagtingin sa akin ay nag iba na rin. He used to look at me with so much love.

Silly.. of course. He would only give that look to his fiancée.. at hindi na ako yon.

"I just wanted to know. Ashmere asked me about your whereabouts since I told him you're here too." Madiing sabi niya na parang pinapamukha na nandito siya hindi dahil nag aalala siya para sa akin kundi nautusan lang.

Napatalikod na ako sa kanya at tumango. Naglakad ako papunta sa banyo at napangiwi nang makita ang buhaghag kong buhok at kumalat na cream sa mukha ko. Nagmukha akong bruha.

"I'll call Kuya later.. sorry for the trouble.." I said while washing my face. I patted the towel on my skin and went out of my bathroom. He was standing beside my phone.

Naalala kong inoff ko ito kahapon kaya siguro nag aalala na si Kuya na hindi niya ako makontak.

Lumapit na ako at ini- on ang cellphone ko. Sunod-sunod na mga text ang pumasok sa cellphone ko. But none came from my brother. Baka delayed lang.

I smiled apologetically at him and opened the sliding door to let the salty air in. I heaved a sigh. My body was aching for a swim.

I opened my message box and found hundred text from Calvin. Napanganga ako sa mga text niya. Nandito siya sa Surigao at nakabook na sa ibang hotel since I cancelled ours. Tapos gusto niyang makipag usap. Magpaliwanag. At may sinabi siya na nagpanginig sa kalamnan ko sa galit. Ako ang pinili niya at hindi ang mag ina niya! Hindi ko akalaing wala siyang kwentang lalaki!

"You should know where you stand Loveria. He's promised to someone else and he has a child." Madilim na sabi ni Peter sa likuran ko.

Napalundag ako at mabilis na lumayo sa kanya. Grabe ang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko sa gulat.

"I know!" Inis kong sagot at nagtype na makikipagkita ako pero hindi sa ngayon.

Nang isesend ko na sana ang reply ko ay bigla niyang hinablot ang cellphone ko at tinapon sa ibaba. Nanlalaki ang mga mata kong napahabol sa cellphone ko pero hinawakan niya lang ang baywang ko para pigilan.

"Ano ba! Bakit mo tinapon? Paano kung may natamaan non?" Galit kong sabi at kumawala sa kanya at dinungaw ang nasa ibaba. I was on the fifteenth floor. Pero kita ko pa rin naman ang mga mga upuan. At swerte lang dahil walang tao sa may pool kung saan nahulog ang cellphone ko.

"I'll pay for his hospital bills."he said nonchalantly.

Inirapan ko siya at pumasok na sa loob para kunin ang keycard ko at nang maisalba ko pa ang cellphone ko. Maraming contacts doon na kailangan ko para sa classes ko at mga saved information din na importante para sa akin. Like my diary and everything.

"Gaganyan ganyan ka dahil hindi ikaw iyong masasaktan! Ewan ko sayo!" Inis kong sinabi at lumabas na ng kwarto ko. Bahala na siyang magsara ng pintuan.

"Where are you going?" He said annoyed. Napalingon ako sa likuran ko.

"Kukunin ko po yong cellphone ko. May mga importante akong contacts doon. I need them." Sagot ko at pinindot na ang elevator button. Luckily it opened instantly so I went in quickly. Peter was behind me.

Lumapit ako sa floor buttons at pinindot ang ground floor. I could feel him behind me. Ang lawak ng elevator pero mas pinili pa niyang tumabi sa akin. Ano to pinaparusahan ako ng tadhana?

Huminto ang elevator sa bawat floor na ikinainis ko dahil pawang mga babae na nakatwo piece ang pumuwesto sa likuran ni Peter.

Pinindot pindot ko na ang closed button sa inis ko. Naging siksikan at dinig ko ang hagikhikan ng mga babae sa likuran namin. Bigla akong napatungkod sa wall dahil sa pagtulak sa amin ni Peter mula sa likuran. Naramdaman ko ang mga kamay ni Peter na pumalibot sa tyan ko at kinabig ako payakap. Naiinis na tumingin ako sa mga malalanding babae. Namumula ang mga mukha na nag sorry sila kay Peter. At kinausap siya. So ano ako hangin?

Naiinis na kumawala ako agad kay Peter nang makarating kami sa ground floor.

Magsama sama silang lahat. Mga malalandi!