Chapter 24

GONE

That night, we planned on staying in the beach resort near the cliff. It was spectacular that I couldn't get enough of it. Everything was beautiful.. the white sand..the crystal clear water. The sceneries, the beach resort.. its amenities and lastly, the inhabited island few minutes boat ride from the resort. The first time I stepped foot on the island gave me a warm feeling. I instantly fell in love with it. Too bad it wasn't for sale.

After swimming and dinner, we decided to stay outside the balcony of our suite to rest before going to sleep. While I was watching the sea water glimmering under the moonlight, Peter was so busy with his laptop.

Napalingon ako sa kanya when he took the call and went inside. Sinilip ko ang laptop niya at dahil wala naman akong maintindihan tungkol sa business ay bumalik na lang ako sa upuan ko at nagtype ng text messages. Megan was looking for Gia!

She even asked me if Gia was with my brother. While I was busy with my phone, I heard gunshots. Napatayo ako at sinilip ang ibaba ng resort. Wala namang masyadong tao. At parang hindi nila napansin so baka nagkamali lang ako ng narinig? Baka naman paputok lang..

Then I heard Peter's footsteps behind me.

"Love.. Ashmere called. It's an emergency." Peter said with concern.

Bigla akong kinabahan. Ewan ko ba, siguro dahil kani-kanina lang ay para akong nakarinig ng putok ng baril. "Anong emergency?"

"Gia was abducted by her stepfather. Don't worry we're working on it." He then hugged me. Napayakap din ako at maiyak iyak na tumawag kina Megan.

After few minutes, Peter got a call from Kuya Coles. But it felt like forever..

"In Bolinao, near the cliff. The locals heard gunshots so Captain Ruiz and the Cruz sent their people to investigate."nanginig ako sa narinig. Napaiyak na ako.

"I heard that too! Oh my god! I thought my ears were playing up! Let's go!"pahysteria na sigaw at hinila siya.

"Love.. calm down please.."alo ni Peter sa akin pero hindi ako mapakali.

"Please love.. i heard those gunshots and I didn't even bother to do something! Kapag may nangyari kay Gia, hindi ako matatahimik!"humawak na ako sa dalawang braso ni Peter para hilain siya.

Kumuha muna siya ng hoodie niya at pinasuot sa akin bago kami umalis. Nanginginig ako at tahimik na umiiyak habang papunta sa cliff. Halos manghina ako ng makita ang mga police cars at mga kotse nina Kuya Coles at Lindsey. Pati na ang kay Kuya Ashmere ko.

Dahan dahan akong lumabas. Nakita ko agad sina Arana at Megan na umiiyak ng parang bata na nakaupo sa damuhan. Napaluhod na ako at umiyak din.

Hindi ba nailigtas si Gia?

"Love.. calm down.." bulong ni Peter at itinayo ako.

"Don't worry.. we'll do something about it.."tumango ako ng tumango. At nagpaakay. Halos buhatin na ako ni Peter para makalapit lang kina Megan.

Nang makita nila ako ay napatayo sila at yumakap sa akin ng mahigpit.

"She's gone..Gia's gone.."

Weeks and months passed by so slow. Our life changed after that fateful night.

All the people behind that murder were put to jail. And I've heard they get beaten day and night inside the prison. Laila who was the primary suspect went mad and got admitted to a psychiatrist ward, then after few weeks, she killed herself.

Her boyfriend's family suffered a lot too. They were totally wiped out by my brother in the business world. Parang doon nya binuhos lahat ng galit nya.

It was too sad to see my brother suffer from her death. He was never the same again.

We buried Gia without her body. They said, probably it was eaten by sharks. The only thing that they've found was her pair of shoes. It was so painful for us. Because she deserved a proper burial. She was a great friend, sister and leader.

Me and my other best friends decided to keep quiet and mourn separately. I just couldn't help but to blame myself. If I only waited for her that day, her stepfather wouldn't have the guts to take her. And if I only reported the gunshots I've heard that night, they would have sent people there.. But I was useless.

Peter was always at our home. Waiting for me to come out of my room. But I was too stuck at my own guilt that I never let him in.

Two days before Megan's birthday, I've decided to open my windows to let the sunlight in my room. Even the sliding door to air it. It has been months now, so I decided that maybe it was time for us to move forward. I contacted Arana and told her my plans. She instantly agreed. We would be setting up a simple birthday party for Megan.

I went down the stairs and found the living room empty. Nagugutom na ako kaya naglakad ako papuntang kusina.

There I saw my fiancé. Wearing my apron and cooking.

My eyes got blurry from my unshed tears. He stayed with me in my darkest day. At ang ipinalit ko ay ang pagiging makasarili ko. Pinabayaan ko siya, itinulak, pinagsarhan ng pinto. Pero wala siyang ginawa kundi hintayin ako at patuloy na mahalin. Naninikip ang dibdib kong dahan dahang pumasok sa kitchen.

I've thought about this for few weeks now..

He's too good for me. And he didn't need some girl who couldn't fight for him. A young, immature, stupid girl who couldn't handle a relationship was not for him. I'm too selfish. Too immature. I don't deserve him.

I cleared my throat. Napalingon siya agad at halos mabitawan ang takip ng pot na hawak.

"Love.."he said then blinked for few times. Then his eyes became red. He switched off the fire and walked slowly towards me. Maybe when he realized that I was real, he ran and hugged me tight.

I instantly felt the warmth my body was looking for. His warmth.. his love.. the love I didn't deserve..

He looked at my face and caged it with his two big warm hands. Gusto kong pumikit at damhin lang ito. Pero hindi ko ginawa.

"Love.. you're real.. I missed you so much.."he said then smiled. A tear rolled down his cheek.

Napaiwas ako agad ng tingin.

He then kissed me softly and hugged me after.

"Thank you for coming back to me.." his voice shook and kissed me again on my lips. This time more passionate. Napahawak ako sa dibdib niya at itinulak siya.

"Oh.. I'm sorry. Are you hungry love? I made some soup. You barely touched the food I sent you."he smiled then pulled me to sit on the high chair. At magaan ang mga kilos na kumuha ng mga plato habang nagkukwento ng mga ginawa niya habang nasa kwarto ako at nagkukulong.

Kahit sabihin pa nyang wala siyang masyadong ginagawa ay hindi ako naniniwala. Dahil sa barko pa lang ay halos kainin na ang oras niya. At ngayon nga dahil sa akin, natigil lahat. Pati buhay niya. Dahil sa akin.. he really should start looking for a woman his equal. Not just an immature, selfish spoiled rotten bitch like me.

"Peter.. i want to break up with you." I said. Nadulas ang hawak niyang baso na agad niyang nasalo at kinakabahang tumingin sa akin.

"S-sorry love.. i didn't hear it properly."he then smiled. He walked to the counter, placed the glasses with his shaking hands and rubbed his hands on his khaki shorts.

"You heard it right." Madiin kong sagot at kinuha sa bulsa ko ang singsing niya.

"What? Why? Have I done something wrong?" Naguguluhang tanong niya at tinignan lang ang singsing na ipinatong ko sa counter.

"Is it because of my promotion? It's just got delayed for few months. Don't worry.. I'll still be your captain love.. I promise. I'll work hard for it."he said desperately.

Napailing ako at huminga ng malalim nang makitang sunud-sunod na pumatak ang mga luha niya.

I'm selfish. So he doesn't need a girl like me.

"Napag isip isip ko lang na masyadong maikli ang buhay ng tao para makulong lang sa isang relasyon. Gaya ni Gia, she died without even experiencing anything! And with our relationship, I felt like I'm chained to you! I can't have choices because I should think of your opinion too. So kunin mo na itong singsing mo at umalis ka na. I'm too young.. I'm not ready for these.. I'm so sorry..I really do."at tinignan siya gamit ang blangko kong ekspresyon.

"W-we can t-talk about that. I can make some a-adjustments. E-everything can work well if we t-talk about it."he kept clearing his throat.

"Really? So if I told you I want to fuck someone else, you'll let me?"galit ko ng sabi.

Natigilan siya at napailing agad.

"I'll give you what you want love.. you don't need anyone else." Matigas niyang sabi.

"Paano mo nasabi yon? You're working in America. You're not always available Peter! At isa pa, sawa na ako sayo! I want to be with someone else. Gusto kong maranasang magkaroon ng maraming boyfriend! More boyfriends mean more experiences!" Sigaw ko at bumaba sa high chair. Mabilis niya akong hinawakan sa braso para patigilin.

"We'll make arrangements love. Not like this please.." pakiusap niya at kinuha ang singsing niya.

Napatingin ako sa mga kamay naming magkawak. Gamit ang nanginginig niyang mga kamay ay pilit niyang isinusuot ang singsing. Hinila ko ang kamay ko kaya nahulog ito at gumulong.

Napatingin siya sa akin. I could see the pain in his eyes. His tears poured down.

"Wait here.. I'll just look for it. Please take your seat." He said then carried me back to the chair and knelt down to looked for his ring.

Panay ang punas niya sa mga mata niya habang nakaluhod at kumakapa. Marahil ay lumalabo ang mga paningin niya sa mga luha niya. He looked so pitiful.

Bumaba ulit ako kaya napatingin siya sa akin at tumayo sabay punas ng kamay sa khaki shorts nya. Para siyang bata. I looked away. I couldn't handle it.

"I'll pay for that ring. Just leave and never come back." I said coldly and walked out of our kitchen. He grabbed my wrist. Napahinto kami sa sala. Bigla siyang lumuhod at humawak sa dalawa kong kamay habang nakatingala sa akin.

His face was wet with tears. I looked at him uninterestedly.

"Please love.. not like this. I love you so much.. we can talk about this. If you don't want that ring, we'll go and look for a new one. With my work, I'll ask for them to send me here. We'll work something out.. please love!"He sobbed.

Pinagpag ko ang mga kamay ko.

"I don't love you Peter. That's the problem." Pagsisinungaling ko. Pagkasabi ko non ay para siyang nanghina na. Kaya nahila ko agad ang mga kamay ko at tumalikod na sa kanya.

I heard him howl in pain. And when I looked back, he was curled up on the carpet. Crying his pain.

Go and be free love.

We went to Manila the day after Megan's birthday. To move forward. We've decided to fulfill our dreams even if Gia couldn't fulfill hers.

Peter tried to talk to me when I got to Manila, but I just banned him in my building. He did try to get me by waiting outside. He became like an accessory. So I did the cruellest thing I could do, I came out from my building with a boy early in the morning. The look on his face told it all. He then left. Gustuhin ko mang pigilan siya ay hindi ko ginawa. It was better this way. As a stranger.

Then after couple of weeks, I saw his pictures in Hollywood with a pretty woman. I should be glad that finally, he had moved on from me.. but I just couldn't find happiness in my heart. This bitterness in me won't go away..

Many things happened. Megan left the country almost after a year of living in Manila and Kuya Coles became wayward especially in business world and girls. I tried to talk to Megan but she was so headstrong and wouldn't want any thing from Kuya Coles kaya hinayaan ko na lang. Mukha namang maayos na rin siya sa America. Halatang naka-moved on na kay Kuya.

Kuya Ashmere got addicted to extreme sports that he often gets into accidents and sometimes he would be in the hospital for his serious injuries. My mom became nervous and anxious that it caused her health to diminish so I talked some sense into his head. After that, he slowed down.

Two of my brothers were suffering because of my best friends..

Arana's happy with her life. So I'm happy.

For almost four years I started to jump from boys after boys. Just to forget everything. But at the end of the day, I still kept coming back to him.

"Hon, why don't we try this?" Calvin asked then handed me a pamphlet of a resort in Surigao. I smiled at him and he held my small waist. We were planning for our summer getaway. I got hooked to surfing so Calvin wanted to try it too.

Yumakap siya sa likod ko at ipinatong ang baba niya sa balikat ko habang inaamoy ang buhok ko. Nakaupo ako sa stone bench kaya umusog ako para makaupo siya ng maayos sa likuran ko.

Binasa ko lahat ng mga nasa papel at tumango.

"Sure.. pero I'm not sure about Ara. Busy siya sa thesis niya." Sabi ko. At sumiksik sa mga matitipuno niyang braso nang makaupo siya ng maayos.

Nakakatuwang isipin na tinotoo ni Calvin ang paghihintay niya sa akin. He followed me to Manila and study in the university I'm in. While I was collecting boys, siya naman ay hinayaan lang ako at binantayan. He became my boy best friend. Nang mapagod ako sa mga walang kwentang pakikipagrelasyon, doon na siya umentra.

Ngayon ay three months na kami. Or four? Hindi ko sigurado. Siya kasi ang laging nageefort sa mga monthsaries namin. Though I give him presents..

"That's fine. I'm sure will get by.." he said then kissed my neck. Bigla akong napatuwid ng upo at lumayo sa kanya.

"I-I'm sorry hon."he said cautiously. Napatango ako at pinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa. His hold tightened and kissed me on my hair once more before getting up. Napatayo ako ng hilain niya ako sa kamay at isinayaw. Ang corny talaga nito.

I laughed and danced with him.

"Happy fourth monthsary hon. I love you.." he whispered then hummed another song.

Napayakap nalang ako sa kanya at ngumiti. He became my comfort. His patience, honesty and faithfulness were the things that made him stand out from my other boys.

"I saw Travis yesterday. He's carrying a baby girl.." kwento ni Calvin. Hanggang ngayon ay akala niya na naging kami ni Travis. He couldn't forget that I became a play girl just because Travis cheated on me.

"Saan?" Tanong ko at kumapit sa matigas nyang braso habang naglalakad kami pabalik sa stone bench.

"Sa mall hon. I'm with my sister and her friend with her baby."napatingin ako sa kanya.

"What? Her friend has a baby?" Hindi ako makapaniwala. Dati lang ay nakita ko pa yon na humahabol kay Calvin.

Tumango si Calvin at biglang tumalikod para ilagay ang mga gamit ko sa shoulder bag ko.

"Y-yes hon."

"You're pretty close right? I remember she threatened me before. Nong mga panahong magkaibigan pa tayo"I laughed. Sobrang obsessed niya kay Travis na kahit sinong babae ay pinagseselosan niya.

"Yes. But i told her that I'm serious with you so she left the country and just recently came back with her son.."

"Oh! So hinabol habol ka niya pero may iba siyang boyfriend?"nagulat kong tanong.

"I-I guess so.." napakunot ang noo ko dahil hindi niya maisara sara ang pencil pouch ko. I grabbed it and closed it for him. Nakita ko ang mga kamay nyang nanginginig. Napaangat ako ng tingin. Nagtataka.

"Are you okay hon?" Hindi ako makatiis na tanungin siya dahil napatalikod siya ulit at napasuklay ng buhok gamit ang nanginginig na mga kamay. Para siyang kinakabahan.

"I-I'm fine! Arana's here.." sabi niyang natataranta, nakatingin sa kaliwa ko kaya napalingon ako.

"Hey Ara!" Bati ko at ikinaway ang mga kamay. Pinagkibit balikat ko nalang ang pagtataka ko sa inaasal ng jowa ko.

Napababa ako ng mga kamay nang yumakap si Calvin sa likuran ko at humalik.

"I love you so much hon. And I'll do everything just to be with you.."