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ANBU: Card System In Naruto

Kaori never signed up to be a ninja, in fact, her business had just started to show signs of success when she was thrown into the world of Naruto. All she wanted was a normal life, a cup of lukewarm tea, and maybe a pet pug... won't say no to a couple of millions. But here she was, somehow inducted into the ANBU's Barrier and Security department – a guaranteed low-key job of being stealthy and keeping tabs on some unimportant lamb. Except the world seemed hellbent on making her life a living hell. Then came the card system – now, she can collect cards that grants jutsus, tools, rare bloodline abilities, and even... people. Talk about a game changer! The gears in Kaori's mind started to turn. Maybe, just maybe, she could carve out her own little force, a small ninja army that could ensure that she survives the world-ending wars each Friday, and maybe even get a decent retirement. Her new mission seemed promising enough – a simple surveillance job. "It's a simple enough job, all you have to do is keep an eye on someone." "Who?" "Oh, no one important... just Kushina Uzumaki." "...Who?" {UPDATE} {Must Read: Before anyone starts reading, please let me remind them that this is a crackpot comedy with 50% nonsensical comedy! So read at your own risk and please do not complain that the MC is not taking things seriously... cause she's not supposed to.} Discord Link just in case anyone wanna join: https://discord.gg/yV4CmEx9 ***{You can support my writing on my patron at: patreon.com/echoingdusk}*** ***{Once Again: 'Support' is not a transaction but support as in supporting the author writing... if that makes any sense at all.}***

EchoingDusk · Anime & Comics
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34 Chs

Chapter: 33

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Special thanks to #Kyle Anderson for their donations on Patron.

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'What should we do with the stowaway Kumo.'

[Slice their necks with a rusty Kunai!!!]

'You're definitely on the internet! How the hell do you have access to the internet!?'

***

Kaori ignored the system, for the moment, she still had plenty to ask it... how it had access to the internet and how she could get it too was on the top of the list. As for the Kumo team, well, there weren't nearly as many choices as she first made it out to be,

'I can just kill 'em all you know.'

[That would mean open aggression you know.]

'Right,'

Even if she did, the Kumo can't prove that the Leaf was the one who did it, but it would still cause a bit of trouble with the hot head of a Raikage. Besides, eliminating them wouldn't get her any brownie points in the old man Hokage's list... might get her some in Danzo's though,

'That's...'

[Yep, let's not talk about that.]

And if she did completely ignore them, it would be even worse! First of all, what in the Sage of Six Path's round ass were they doing in a village so close to the Hidden Leaf? 

'It's a pain in the ass...'

[Did Sage of Six Path have a round ass? I wonder...]

Her best choice was to keep an eye on the Kumo team, gather intel on their movements and mission objects, and inform the ANBU Black Ops of their presence. If they take any drastic measure before the ANBU could get there, she would simply eliminate them herself.

'It's the best choice, but it sure won't be easy on my schedule,'

[How are you going to inform the ANBU?]

'Right, about that...'

Before she could explain pretty much every secret of the Black Ops to a screen floating in the air, the Kumo Shinobi walked out of the dinner,

'They are on the move,'

Her 'Mind's Eye' picked up the movement from several dozen meters away, the group of four was moving out of the dinner and heading toward the village's exit. Kaori followed them, keeping at least three blocks from the group. Which was saying something, considering that it was half the village's length,

'What are they up to?'

[Maybe try listening in on their conversation.]

She glanced around, searching for an animal until her eyes fell upon a stray cat sitting on top of a dumpster. It was a scrawny thing, its fur was dirty and one of its eyes seemed to have been too badly damaged in a fight. Out here, it won't survive for long, but it was exactly what she needed at the moment.

Slowly, she crept into the alley and leaned against a wall, taking out a scroll and unfurling it. Inside was a pre-made 'Kuchiyose no Jutsu' summoning formula. She bit her finger, smothering a drop of blood across the seal, and concentrated her chakra into the seal. 

*PUFF*

In a puff of smoke, a small bird with a smaller scroll holder tied to its left leg materialized next to her. It flapped its wings silently and landed on Kaori's outstretched hand,

"So you were free, eh, Shiromaru?"

She knew it was silly to talk to a bird, but Shiromaru was the fastest ninja bird in the ANBU aviary. It was seldom not flying or being drugged to mate with other birds to spread his 'good' gene stock.

Kaori took out the small scroll from its holster and with her bitten thumb, wrote a couple of lines of nonsense,

'The-four-mountain-birds-migrated-to-the-planes-now-it's-time-for-them-to-return.'

'There!'

[Isn't that a bit too...]

'HA!'

Kaori made another seal and the words rearranged themselves into something completely new, 

[Oh~ forget it then.]

'I don't have time to copy a cipher code ya' know.'

She gently stroked the bird's beak,

"Alright,"

She said, sliding the scroll back into the cache,

"Head back to the village and deliver this message safely, got it?"

The bird chirped once, bobbing its head before springing off her hand and disappearing into the darkness of the night sky. While the message would reach the ANBU before midnight, and they would probably dispatch two teams before morning, it was still important to keep an eye out for the Kumo group. 

Turning to the scrawny cat, she smiled maliciously,

[What're you up to now?]

'Genjutsu: False Prey Jutsu!'

She carefully channeled a silver of her chakra into the feline, aiming for the non-critical part of its perception. The cat yowled in surprise as a fish appeared before it, swimming in the air, its eyes glazed over before refocusing on the fish. It stood up, stretched, and jumped after the fish, each time barely missing it by a fin's breath.

Kaori concentrated and the fish swam away quickly, bringing the cat into her hands,

[What are you up to now?]

'Nothing too bad~'

She reached back into her pouch and drew two paper tags, one explosive, and one flashbang,

'Which one should I use, I wonder~'

Finally, she decided against using the detonation talisman, no point in using live animal bombs... although, there was no rule against doing so~

With a sigh, Kaori slapped the flashbang on it's stomach,

'Suppress!'

It disappeared, sinking into the cat's dirty fur.

Once she was done with it, she released the cat, sending it chasing after the fish that was slowly making its way to the group of Kumo shinobi at the village's gate. Kaori followed after it,

[What are you playing at?]

'Kids make for bad shinobi that's all...'

Darting through the village rooftops, the cat jumped over the wall, followed shortly after by Kaori. Genjutsu was scary, not just because it was hard to know when one was under it, but also because it could fool the mind into pushing the body beyond its limits and cause severe damage to muscles and bone structure.

A moment later, Kaori gained a vision of the Kumo team's leader chatting with the guard on duty while his subordinates waited just outside,

'Perfect,'

She formed another hand sign. In the cat's eyes, the fish swam over to the group of genins and merged into one of them.

From a distance, Kaori saw the three cloaked figures argue about something before one of them picked up the cat and held it in its hands. Only one figure seemed to protest the cat's sudden interest in their group, but her voice was overruled by the majority,

'Fifty ryō, it's the twins.'

[I don't have any...]

'So you can generate money but can't bet, huh.'

Her voice...err... thoughts had a tinge of sarcasm to them.

The Kumo leader handed the head guard a pouch of coins and nodded politely, a greeting that was returned in kind by the villager.

'Great, now I have to interrogate him too,'

The group of shinobi met up, and from a distance, Kaori saw the Chunin dismiss the cat as though it was nothing worth mentioning,

'Moron,'

[Are you sure you are not jumping to conclusions a bit too quickly?]

'About what?'

Asked Kaori as she trailed the group as they ventured deeper into the surrounding forest. Nothing quite like the forest to muffle out footsteps in the middle of the night... that is, until one blunders and steps on a twig or dried leaves,

[About this group. What if it's a peace delegation?]

'Careful what you wish for, it might just be your death sentence.'

[What was that?]

'Nothing. As for your earlier question, it's because I doubt their purpose that I haven't neutralized them yet...'

Maintaining the Genjutsu over such a long distance wasn't easy, the further the cat got from her, the weaker the connection got. It forced Kaori to shorten the distance between her and the group, making stealth considerably difficult.

Suddenly, the cat let out a startled yowl and the group froze in their tracks.

Kaori also slowed down and hid behind a tree, just within earshot of the group. She checked the Genjutsu, it was still holding, the increase in her chakra reserve and regeneration rate that came with the Uzumaki bloodline were really something,

"Hey Reki, Meki, what's wrong?"

The Chunin Leader, Robun, questioned the twins in a voice unmistakably laced with annoyance rather than concern.

"This stupid cat won't stop biting me!"

Complained one of the twins, his voice muffled by the cloak. Impulsively, he made a hand sign, and the transformation came undone, revealing a chubby blond kid in a Kumo vest.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have picked up a stray in the first place!"

Grumbled the chunin, also undoing his transformation and revealing a similar uniform on a black-haired adolescent,

[They are only kids!]

'They are shinobi...'

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