Piss Fight

Finally arriving at our destination, I step out of the car, breathing in the air of this unfamiliar world. Surprisingly, despite the bustling road, the air feels clean, with no hint of smoke emissions. I observe the backs of the cars, noticing their absence of exhaust fumes.

I look ahead as the road stretches onward, eventually diverging into two separate paths, a narrow building in the middle causing the split. The structure gradually widens toward the rear as the roads separate further.

Suddenly, a discomfort stirs within my legs, a reminder of my need to use the restroom.

I follow Albert into the building through its narrow yet wide enough entrance. As we enter through the heavy doors, the abrupt shift in temperature increases the unease between my legs. A far-reaching green carpet welcomes us in the center, pushing aside the tables and chairs that fill the space. The place reeked with the scent of alcohol, with hanging lights illuminating the hall.

Armed with their weapons nearby, seated in groups. The crowd of diverse beings engrossed themselves in their drinks.

I navigate awkwardly across the carpet through the energetic crowd, attracting a few curious glances. Eventually, we reach what seems to be a reception area, where a fair-skinned woman is seated in the center.

"Welcome to the Hunters Guild. How may I assist you?" Formally greeting us, she is perched behind a tall table, making her appear small.

Though what caught me off gaurd was that she looked like a typical human, devoid of long pointy ears, sharp fangs, or a lengthy tail. I slightly smile in relief, after all, it's been a while since I've encountered someone of my kind.

"Well..." Albert points toward me with his thumb, not finishing his sentence.

"Is he the one Miss Luna was referring to?" she inquires, maintaining a stoic expression that mirrors Albert's.

Nodding in response, Albert then turns his attention back to me. "The Hunters Guild operates around the clock, so you can live here for now. As for how you can make a living, read this," he says, passing me a titleless book.

Holding it in my hands, I could feel its weight pulling me down. I have heard about the saying 'Knowledge is power' but I feel like there are better ways of imparting knowledge…

Pulling out a pen and a sheet of paper, the woman places it on the table. "Please fill out this form to proceed further," she instructs.

***

[Name]:

[Age]:

[Race]:

█████ ██ █████ : █

[Mana Affinity]: 10

[Abilities (Optional)] :

I look down at the form, noticing a few oddities.

"Don't overthink it, just fill out the form," Albert advises, leaning over my shoulder to see what I'm writing.

Ignoring his gaze, I slowly proceed to fill in the details.

***

[Name]: Kade

[Age]: 17

[Race]: Human

█████ ██ █████ : █

[Mana Affinity]: 10

[Abilities (Optional)]: I'm very fast.

***

Putting down the pen, I glance back at Albert in a hurry "Done, can I use the toilet–"

Pushing me aside, he takes hold of the paper, handing it back to the lady "I'm sorry, but could we get a new form."

Taking it back, she rips the paper into pieces before taking out another similar form.

"This time, leave the last detail as it is." He orders, handing me the pen.

Even though I can't help but feel like something shady is going on right now, at the same time, I desperately need to relieve myself.

Snatching the pen, I quickly fill the form again with one hand, holding my crotch with the other. Not filling in the last detail.

"Done!" I exclaim, pushing the paper in front of him impatiently. "Now can I—"

He squints his eyes at the paper. "You don't have a full name?"

"I don't know!"

"...Oh well, it doesn't matter much in your case," he mutters. Grabbing my chin, he turns my head towards the woman, who now holds a familiar device above her head, pointing it directly at me.

"Smile, please."

A camera… I'm not even surprised anymore.

Clenching my quivering legs together, I muster up the most uncomfortable smile of my life, waiting for her to finish.

*Click*

Teary-eyed, I knew I didn't have much time left. "Is it… finally done."

"Yeah, for now. You can use the restroom over there—" Albert pauses as a bead of sweat trickles down his face.

I follow his gaze, anxiously turning my head. A long queue of intoxicated men stand in a line, waiting outside the toilet. Some tightly hold their front while others gripping their ass.

Damn, I guess this is where it all leads to.

I rest my arms on Albert's shoulders, locking eyes with him. "Hey man, it's okay. I never had much dignity anyways."

"W-Wait, if you ask politely, I'm sure they will allow you in the women's toilet–" Like before, Albert goes quiet again, and for good reason. Like the men's, the women's line was just as long. One person even vomits just outside the door while others laugh.

Covering his mouth with his hand, Albert mutters "Damn, I forgot it's peak hour right now."

Funny. Given his serious nature, I thought he would be the epitome of perfectionism. I guess everyone has flaws in the end, even in another world.

Taking a deep breath, the muscles of my body loosen up as my eyes widen, I feel myself falling back. Maybe, I just was not cut out for this world.

Taking notice of my rolling back eyes, Albert, displaying his first-ever sign of emotion, forcefully butts my head with his, gripping my face between his hands.

"Do it in the fucking can!" He bellows.

***

Inside the privacy of the car, I deeply exhale, a wave of relief washing over me as I button my coat back up. Holding the warm soda can in my right hand, staring off into the distance.

"Damn... I feel like taking a shit." I mutter to myself, reflexively slapping my face. What was I thinking?

Exiting the car, the can still unconsciously in my hand, I retrace my steps back to the entrance of the guild and push through the door. The judgmental gazes of the patrons fixate on me.

"I still can't believe he got a reaction out of him."

"What is his name? I haven't seen him around here."

"He looks homeless."

The comments kept getting thrown around, with no apparent end in sight. Curiosity is one hell of a drug I suppose.

Spotting Albert, I walk up to him, noticing another, young-looking man talking to him. The man appears human and is dressed in an outfit nearly identical to what Luna was wearing, with the addition of round glasses.

"Who is this person?" I nonchalantly ask.

"The person in front of you is–"

"Stop, I'll take it from here," the man interrupts, positioning himself between me and Albert with a friendly smile. "The name is Oliver, a member of the Blind Eye party. It's a pleasure to meet you, Kade." He extends his right hand for a handshake.

Finally, a normal person!

I eagerly put out my right hand, smiling back. Not knowing what I had just gotten myself into.

"Huh," the atmosphere turns silent, as Oliver glances down with a shocked expression. "What's this?"

Looking at our hands, I can only imagine punching myself in the face. I've just handed a man I barely know a soda can filled with urine. Biting my lips, I quickly regain my composure.

While dumb, it was an honest mistake. I'm sure he would understand.

With a frown, I apologize " I'm very sorry, that's my piss. I was just–"

Without any second thought, he reaches out for my arm and pulls me in, kneeing me straight in my guts.

"Gah!" The pain spikes through my body as the force of the hit lands me with my back on the wood floor.

The crowd goes wild, spurring with a sudden burst of joy as they cheer on.

"Hit him in the nuts!"

"Delete his bloodline!"

"Send that homeless bitch back where he– Oh wait."

The cruel comments cut deep, adding salt to injury. All the while Albert lets out a deep sigh

"It seems you were right, Albert. He does appear to lack some manners," Oliver remarks, his gaze piercing through me from above. "I heard that you even declined Miss Luna's offer. You must have balls of steel." He rests his shoe on my groin, slowly applying pressure. "Let's test that."

Lying on the ground, I try to tilt my head forward, staring into his furious eyes. A tear escapes as the pain intensifies.

"Crying now? Good," he taunts. The crowd becomes even more frenzied than before. "You should have just been grateful and listened to what she said."

Hearing those words, my muscles clenched tightly, veins popping on my forehead. With the spilled can still in my hand, I splash what little is left of its contents onto his face, the glasses covering most of it from entering his eyes. The mouth, however.

"Eww!" He recoils, falling back and sticking out his tongue in disgust. The drunken crowd laughs in response, some in disgust, and others in pure enjoyment.

Seizing the opportunity, I quickly, albeit somewhat slowly, rise to my feet. Looking around, I spot a long, gleaming sword not far from me. I lunge for it, dragging it towards Oliver.

Spitting on the floor, he, too, grabs a sword, and we lock eyes with furrowed brows as I approach.

The sword was so heavy that even dragging it took a lot out of me. Meanwhile, Olivier hovered the blade above the floor with only one hand. It was clear that he had more experience.

"Hmph!" Locking my legs, I take a swing.

"As if it's gonna reach me—" Oliver pauses, his eyes widening as he realizes. With skillful precision, he moves his sword to the side, deflecting the sword I had thrown at him in one swift motion. "That's the worst way to use—"

I quickly closed the gap between us in just one step, catching him by surprise. Unfortunately for me, I had failed to notice the piss-covered floor.

"Shit!" I slip, falling. I instinctively reach out to grab something, only to tightly clutch onto Oliver's junk.

For just a brief moment in time, unannounced to him, his balls were holding up the weight of a seventeen-year-old as gravity did its thing

A deafening scream of anguish fills the room, enough to make the loud crowd go silent.

Foaming in the mouth with blanked-out eyes, Oliver stays motionless. I glance back, staring into the eyes of the astonished bystanders.

"Holy shit!"

"He actually did it!"

"I'm sorry for calling you homeless. Please don't hurt me!"

The crowd had an unsettling mix of joy and unease as if they had just witnessed God itself.

But the chaos is quickly interrupted. The door opens as a familiar vampire lady enters the guild along with two other strangers, inhaling the foul smell, "Hmm, today's alcohol smells funny." Luna remarks, rubbing her nose.

She must have a terrible sense of smell if that's all she has to say.

"Augh!" one of the stranger's gags, while the other covers her nose in disgust.

"It's the Blind Bitch!" A drunk man shouts in a friendly tone.

"It's 'Witch' you dipshit! 'Witch' with a 'W'" An angry Oliver, seemingly revived from the dead, screams at the crowd, his fists tightened in anger.

"It's okay, Oliver, they probably just misspelled it because they're drunk," Luna reassures Oliver and helps him to his feet.

"Miss Luna, I'm terribly sorry for the–"

"Not to be rude, but you smell like piss," Luna remarks with a straight face.

Tears flow down Oliver's cheek as he leans down with a frown. "I'm very sorry for my patheticness. Someone like me shouldn't be worthy of your presence." He picks up the sword and brings its edge close to his neck. "I'm very sorry!"

I watch as the two strangers desperately try to keep Oliver from ending himself. Meanwhile, Luna looks at him in morbid curiosity with Albert comfortably sitting in the background, taking a sip of his drink with no care in the world.

So this is what hell looks like.