One Hundred and Thirteen

'Four whole years of loving you and waiting for you and desiring you and wishing for a physical expression of that love and not getting it.

Four years of laying my life at your feet and waiting for you to love me to distraction as I do you.

Would you not find it strange if I profess to love you and have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with you?

Put yourself in my shoes, if you loved and needed me desperately and get the feeling that though I profess to love you and do indeed but have no desire to touch or be touched by you or to consumate our relationship and you waited as long as I have and I keep turning you down and making up one silly and childish excuse after another, how would you feel about it? You should try answering the question sincerely, not to me but to yourself.

You know, sometimes I feel that I am the only one who is doing all the loving and sacrificing and wanting. Is there any hope for me at all?