Special

Still in Tang Jing's arms, Lulu looked up at him as he looked down. Their eyes held each other for a second longer than convention would allow under such circumstances—a second, however, that seemed to stretch and contain both surprise and wonder.

"She really is quite beautiful," he thought, seeing how her hair, which had been unbound when Lulu had thought she was going to bed, fell in lovely curls down her back. Her dark eyebrows were arched delicately above big, brown eyes that seemed to contain depths he hadn't noticed before. That thought made him realize that he was still holding her, which snapped him out of the mesmerizing spell that held them in place.

Tang Jing blinked quickly several times and moved Lulu so that she was at arm's length. He looked down toward her feet and asked, "Are you all right?"

Lulu picked up the hem of the dress a little and looked down to hide her embarrassment. Scratching her nose nervously, she stammered, "Y-Yes, thank you. I'm s-sorry about that." She shook her head at herself, "I can't believe how clumsy I am."

"It wasn't your fault, so you don't have to feel bad," Tang Jing replied kindly.

"Thank you for your graciousness," Lulu bowed her head in gratitude.

He looked at her dress, which seemed somewhat ill-fitting in general, despite the alterations. Placing one hand on his chin, he rubbed it a little while thinking.

Lulu looked down at her dress, wondering what he was thinking about. After a moment, he said, "I think we should order you some new outfits so that they can fit you better. I'll let Tang Xiao Chu know."

Eyes widening at the generous gesture, Lulu put one hand to her mouth and said, "Oh my. You don't have to do that for me. Afterall, I'm really nobody special. I can make do with what Tang Xiao Chu has already given me, which is more than enough for someone like me."

Tang Jing considered her words. There was that tug at his heart again. Without realizing what he was saying, the words slipped out, "But you are special." As soon as he heard what he said, Tang Jing quickly tried to brush off any meaning behind it with, "I mean, er, would the Tang family take in a mere nobody? You are staying with our family, and we have to uphold certain appearances. It has been decided, end of discussion. Have a good night."

With that, he turned around with enough force that his robes made a swishing sound, and left Lulu's room.

Lulu was left wondering what just happened. After staring for a couple seconds at the empty space Tang Jing had left behind, she went to sit on her bed. She kept hearing his words, "you are special," in her mind and this unwittingly brought a smile to her face. Bewildered at his words, Lulu's cheeks felt hot so she placed both palms on them to cool herself a little. "Oh, sheesh, what am I thinking about?," she reprimanded herself by gently slapping her cheeks a few time as if trying to snap herself out of thoughts that she figured could only lead nowhere.

Taking deep breath, Lulu sighed. Recalling the discussion earlier, she looked down at her ring. Playing with it, she tried to remember where she might have gotten it from. Nothing came to her mind and the now familiar sense of frustration seeped into her heart, making it feel tight. She was so tired of thinking all the time and wished she could just forget about her amnesia for a little while so she could feel at peace.

But peace would not come to her. As she had thought about almost every night since coming to the manor, Lulu wondered why the Tangs were so invested in helping her regain her memories. They seemed nice, like the Suns, but whereas the Suns were open and forthright, she knew there was something the Tangs weren't telling her. Each of them seemed to have walls hiding certain places within them that she was not allowed to access or ask about. She felt the shadows of these walls fall upon her no matter how cheerful Xiao Chu seemed when they spoke or how nice Tang Mei was to her. Still, Lulu didn't sense any malice from Xiao Chu, which made her feel relieved. She didn't really know what Tang Mei's intentions were, although he never said an unkind word. Tang Mei's consistency in terms of his behavior at least was reassuring to her.

Tang Jing was a mystery to her altogether. Although he seemed to have walls hiding other walls, there were ever so brief moments of unconcealed honesty from him when it seemed as if a covering was pulled away from a shiny jewel. It made her want to trust him. "Do I have a choice to trust him though?," she thought and then plopped backwards on the bed.

Even when she was with the Suns, Lulu knew she probably couldn't stay with them forever. She was a burden no matter what they said given how poor sales were usually. Although the Tangs seemed like they could certainly afford to have her with them, she didn't want to take advantage. Maybe they were just generous, she wondered. Maybe losing their parents made them empathize with her. Maybe they really did just want the best for her. It was certainly a possibility. Still, what would happen if she never regained her memory? How was she going to survive in this place?

It was thoughts such as these that kept her awake most nights. After feeling lonely and scared for a while, Lulu would eventually tell herself that everything would work out somehow and that would usually bring sleep. Tonight was no exception, especially given that she had already stayed up longer than usual.

Unfortunately, the usual nightmare began about a couple hours into that sleep. The water, the sensation of drowning, the man's face she could barely make out—all familiar components repeating themselves. This time, however, Lulu found herself being pulled out of the water by another man. He looked at her with kind eyes and she recognized him as Mr. Sun. Taking her hand, he looked at the ring that she was wearing, which was the same one as in reality. He patted the hand and said, "Don't forget about the ring." Then he turned and walked away. Lulu started crying and her tears formed another river, but one that seemed to span across a large continent. Even though it was impossible, she could see all the way to the end point of the river thousands of miles away. She saw the Suns standing there, waving at her with smiling faces. "You'll always be our daughter," Mrs. Sun whispered. Lulu realized that Mrs. Sun was wearing her ring.