What is Love? (UPLOADED)

February 21, 1976

Fifth Realm, The Infinite Corridor. 

(Yamato's POV)

Ever since I was a young child, I have witnessed the many unpredictable emotions of mankind and wildlife from a neutral third point perspective.

Eventually, there was one thing that I became curious about. "The concept of love, desire and passion".

A concept that even to this day, I still don't understand. And after a certain incident that occured earlier in my life, I doubt I ever will want to.

Back then, I wanted to know what inspired a person to be so driven by love.

So I did what any normal person would do.

I did my own sort of research and studied it closely as if it was an actual science.  

Okay, I admit. I may have been a little "quirky" back in the day, but that's besides the point...

In addition to that, my father was also right about me being extremely "naive", because no matter how hard I tried, I never got to understand it's "true nature".

Once I believed I had reached a complete dead end, I turned to a certain woman from long ago for help.

"What is love?" I asked her.

"It that joyful sensation you get when you feel "butterflies" in your stomach."

Course back then, I think I was too young, (and too oblivious), to really understand, so of course my response was....

"So it's a feeling? I don't understand."

"That's fine. Right now, there's no rush. Because, one day, you are going to meet a certain person. And when that happens, you will understand what it means to cherish the ones you love."

Those were the words my mother told me. So naturally, as her daughter, I took it to heart.

Unfortunately, due to one incident that took place some time after, I lost all faith in her words.

It all happened twenty eight years ago, during a completely uneventful day.

But once a handsome man appeared before me bearing gifts and a charming smile, I was about to learn that fate was about to take it's toll on me.

At first, that man merely wanted to get to know me as mere friends so thankfully, he wasn't trying to come off as overbearing.

However, he eventually became the first man that successfully lit my heart aflutter.

After we were given a suitable amount of time to get to know each other, I later learned that he really was one hell of a gentleman.

Day after day, he always went out of his way to consistently find ways to treating me in ways a man should.

At the time, the occasional gifts, compliments and the conversations that we shared was all so hypnotizing. And I was more then willing to embrace all of these new yet fleeting experiences.

Now that I'm looking back on it, perhaps I responded a little "too" well to his advances.

*Sigh*

Let's just say I wasn't afraid of being "direct" with my approaches.

In any case, during the time where our relationship was going strong, I started to think about the words my mother told me.

And when I did, I reached a certain conclusion.

One day, about two or so years ater, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my friends of a very important decision that I was about to make.

I was going to marry him.

Little did I know at the time did I realize that this was one, if not, the worst decision I ever made for myself.

Marriage is the everlasting union between two lovers, a man and a woman. 

That union is supposed to symbolize the feelings of love and sense of loyalty that the other has for each other. 

And a wedding is supposed to symbolize the fact that one was more than ready to stay by their lover's side regardless of what hell that life may bring to them.

Course, with that in mind, thanks to what happened shortly after, when things turned south, I later loved that love was not just the only element required.

Commitment and honesty is also important.

And I'm not just talking about being able to stay loyal to your husband or wife.

I'm also talking about your resolve to always be able to act upon with the best of intentions in mind for your partner regardless of the necessary effort and implied consequences. 

And sure, while I admit a white lie here and there may be necessary, absolute honesty is just as important. 

If hopes and dreams are what builds a person's future, then lies and falsehood are what breaks them.

And what exactly determines the "future" of said relationship all boils down to the true intentions of both spouses.

Harbored secrets can lead to misery, and a revealed facade can destroy a person's trust in others. And action will always speaks louder than hollow words. 

Once you truly dive deep and think about it a bit, it becomes clear that marriage might not exactly be the best way to experience a relationship.

Well, atleast not until you properly discern, understand and accept the true colors of your potential spouse.

Because a wasted marriage is easily taxing for a person, both on their age and emotional health. 

And that's coming from me, a literal god.

Then there's to mention on how easily the this decision can garnish the attention of your other friends and family.

And of course, that's when mixed opinions and emotions invite further reactions, which in turn, incite a whole new type of chaos.

This is why many people, especially fathers for instance, take this matter very, very seriously. 

While it may not be impossible to have some rather clear cut and dry supporters on your side, its just as easy to make other people grow skeptical of your endeavor. Some even going as far as outright reject the idea altogether.

Like how a certain friend did for me.

If only.

If only I had listened to her at the time....Then perhaps, I wouldn't have lost everything.

Dlea.

Kaede.

I'm sorry.

I promise, this will never happen again.