Conversations

Visions of the ancestors of this land take over my body and mind. They are interrogating me. From one spirit to another, they question me.

"Why are you here?"

"Are you here to cause harm?"

"Do you bring savages with you to kill our kind?"

"Mayagwewinini… FOREIGNER!"

"Foreigner of this land, we won't tolerate murderers like your kind. We've seen what people like you can do to people like us!"

"We will take your soul with us."

"Come with us." I feel their energy pulling my soul, as if someone had reached into my chest, grip onto my heart, and is now trying to pull it out.

"NO!!" I struggled to yell, "NOOO!!!" It was a different form of pain away from physical pain. It was as if all the happiness I've ever felt was being taken away and the darkness that consumed me with grief and sorrow.

I have no idea how long I was stuck fighting for my soul, but it seemed as though a lifetime went by in the midst of my suffering.

I see the shadowy figure of Giken running towards me in slow motion. He placed his hands on my shoulders and shook me, but I can't snap out of this dreamlike place.

He reaches into his pouch and pulls out a threaded charmed hanging off a beaded necklace. He quickly places it around my neck and embraces me into his arms, chanting a prayer.

The spirits lift off and out of me. I take in a big breath of air that instantly gets stuck in my throat. I pound on my chest trying to exhale but my lungs seem to have collapsed. My lips are going numb as do my fingers and toes. Everything in my vision is yellowing in color.

Giken laid me on my back, plugged my nose, and started blowing into my mouth to force more air into my body. I grab hold of his head and neck in my panicked need for oxygen, indicating to him that his exchanging of air with me is working. My panic lifts as everything around blurr and he is now the only thing in my sight. I am calm.

After a little while, I could finally breathe again. I closed my mouth as his lips stayed pressed against mine. My hands are still pulling down on the back of his head and neck, driving his face onto mine.

At this point he had already released my nose while gently trying to back off, but my hold on him remained strong as I am still forcing our lips to stay touching, afraid that if it moves away then I might not be able to breathe again.

His presence gave me strength. When he is with me or by me, I feel braver, stronger, and safer. As if he was feeding me life that I had been lacking.

I can FEEL, when I'm with him.

Coming to realization of our circumstances, I slowly release the back of his head and neck as he pulls away slightly. His eyes staring deeply into mine. Embarrassment overwhelms me and I look away from his eyes blushing. He leans his head back down to me and presses his lips onto mine. We kiss.

I've never kissed anyone before, but with Giken it is like we knew exactly what to do. His luscious lips were so soft, so smooth and so kissable that with the end of each kiss, my lips yearned for more.

I kissed him back slowly and passionately. My lips pursed, wanting his.

"What are you doing, Sereen?" I asked myself as an alarm set off in my head. I stopped kissing Giken and opened my eyes.

When he noticed that I had stopped kissing him, he opened his eyes and his head pulled back, "I'm sorry. I've never done that before. Are you well? You seemed to have been stuck in a trance."

I stare at him with no words to say.

"I didn't know what to do. So when you did that thing with your mouth, I just thought it would help if I did what you did."

"Kiss." I said while touching the threaded charm sitting comfortably in between my collar bones.

"Kiss?" Giken repeated with a confused expression.

I touched my lips with one of my fingers and then pointed it forward touching his lips. "Kiss." I said again.

"Oh, kiss." he grabs my finger and expands my palm over his hand. Ever so slightly, he kisses my fingers. "KISS!" He smiles at me, showing off his dimples again and my heart melts.

"Yes, kiss." I said again then pointed to the threaded charm and asked, "what's this?"

Giken gently touched the charm, admiring it. "It's a Catcher." He eyes trailing the tiny threads, intertwining in a mosaic of knots in the center of the circle.

"Prayers were put in these threads to prevent the other realms from colliding with ours." He reached his hand up to touch my face, "Your eyes were completely taken over. I've seen it before in our tribe, so I had to do something to help. It looks like you may have THE sacred sight."

Giken paused and studied my eyes, "that is when different realms reveal themselves to you, allowing you to interact with the beings that are there. It can be scary sometimes, but from what I've heard, most times it is rewarding because you can heal others in ways that they have yet to know can be healed."

I let this new information sink in for a moment. After the kiss, for some reason, I could understand his language even better. His speech was no longer broken. I cannot even begin to contemplate the state of my mentality with all this phenomenon happening to me. Though, I feel so strongly that I could be connected to Giken.

"I will cook the fish." He said and then got up to start the fire.

*

After eating our lovely, under-seasoned and unsalted fish, Giken started to clean up the area by sweeping and scattering all the leaves, grass and dirt all around.

"Make it look like no one was ever here." He said. He scooped dirt into the small fire pit, filling it up completely, and then covered it with some old fallen leaves.

"How did you get hurt?" He asked. "What were you running from?

I shook my head no. I just can't tell him, especially when it is still so fresh in my mind and the very thought of it haunts me.

Giken turned his attention to me and said, "It is fine with me if you don't want to say anything. I won't be able to understand your speech, even if you do say something."

He finished covering up the place and then started stripping the stringy barks off the leafy branches from the night before. He impressively braided them together into a long rope.

Once it was all complete, Giken walked up to me and hoisted me up to stand. He then proceeded to piggyback me, wrapping his newly braided rope around the both of us. It cupped under my buttocks to over his shoulders, looped under his armpits to under my arms, crisscrossed behind my back, then multiple wraps around our waist and ended it with a tight knot.

I feel so embarrassed at the thought that my pelvic area was literally touching his lower back, my breasts pressed against his upper back, and my arms softly wrapped around his neck and resting on his shoulders.

Giken took one last gander of the area to make sure it appeared as though it was never touched then we headed north along the river.

After a while, he untied us and set me on soft grass to rest. I gesture to him as I speak the words, "Giken, I can walk if you get me a long stick." I grabbed a little branch nearby and imitated a cane.

"No walking for you. Sereen anwebi…you must rest now."

"But you carrying me is slowing us down." I said loudly and slowly, still gesturing to him.

"Your hand movements are good! Let me teach you the Ma'iingan way. That way I can understand you better. Learning your speech will take a while, but learning hand movements and gestures are an easier form of communication."

I nod and from there the learning begins.

*

He would carry me for a few miles and then we would rest for a bit before carrying on again. Every time we rested, he'd teach me new ways to gesture certain things. For the most part, many of the hand gestures are the same or relatable.

By nightfall, Giken had set up another area for us to rest. He dehydrated a few fish over the flames as ration for our travels. Dinner was tasting better and better as hunger took hold of us from exhaustion. During the night, Giken would lay with me and cover us both with leafy branches. The redundancy of our days continued for three days.

On the fourth day, Giken said to me, "You know so much about me, but I, nothing of you. I wish to know you." He placed his arms over my heart and gave me a very sincere smile.

My lord, those dimples are going to be the end of me.

A beaver abruptly popped out of the ground scaring me and I shrieked.

"Is it a snake?" Giken stood up, readying himself for an attack.

"No, it's a rodent with long buck teeth, big hands, small feet, and a paddle for its tail." I said, gesturing to him. Then a bunch all popped out at once.

"Where?" Giken asked.

"Here and here." I pointed, "They are everywhere." I whispered, realizing now that they are spirits.

The biggest of them all came up to me and transformed into a man. His lips didn't move, but words echoed out from him.

"Foreigner, trotting our lands. What is your purpose here?"

Giken watched me in confusion as I spoke out to no one. "I don't have a purpose but to find my own peace."

"You can see and hear us?" it asked.

"Yes, I can. I don't mean any harm to anyone or anything. The balance of life here, on your land, I will keep. I am only helping my dear friend here…" I point to Giken, "...find his way home to his brothers, to his tribe."

"Very well. One tribe should always help another in a time of need. We will guide you home and protect you from harm. As long as you keep balance with the earth and nature on our lands. Do that and we will protect you." With that the spirits vanish. My body feels heavy and I can feel myself stumbling. Giken rushes to my side and holds me up in place and I lean onto him.

"Sereen?"

I gave out a huge sigh and gave him a big smile.

His dimples pop inward into his cheeks returning a smile to me. "This is the first time I have seen you smile. You should smile more often."

He kissed my forehead, "KISS…" he said and it dawned on me that this strong affinity between us could be a spiritual and physical one.

Why was he carrying around those charms? How does he know about my ability to see the ones who'd pass? What is he not telling me?