JUST WILL BEING WILL

Damon's P.O.V

He asks gently, his voice rising and quieting with hope.

"Not yet," I admit, feeling Theo whine at the admission while a barely audible sob came from the other side.

"Will y-you be soon?" He asks again, after pulling himself to manage the three words.

"I will, but not now," I assured him quickly, needing to comfort even a part of him. "So please stop looking for me, I'll come when I'm ready."

"Okay, i-if that's what you want," He begins weakly, sounding as if my words battered him, "Then I'll wait."

I breathe out a sigh of relief, grateful for the space to tell Will about our world without having to worry about looking over my shoulder. I freeze then, contemplating whether or not to tell him about Will. If things weren't in their current state, my family would've been the first to hear about my mate. I knew they'd be ecstatic, dad especially, he'd break down with tears.

I wanted to live that fantasy.

"I have to go, dad," I say after a moment longer of silence, hating the way my eyes filled again from my own words.

"W-Wait, just a minute longer Damon," Dad begs frantically, voice hitching with desperation. "Everyone else w-would love to talk to you."

You did this to me.

"I can't," I reply letting the fear lead me.

"D-Damon please don't go."

"I'm sorry," I reply before ending the call, slamming the phone shut within its small home.

The tears fall once more, the feel of our straining family bond pulling at me to go home right now. To go be among my own people, my pack, my family, my parents... but I couldn't. Couldn't even imagine facing my father after the vicious words I'd thrown at him, the ones I'd always denied and kept far away from him. I'd released them at left him to deal with the effects of them.

Facing him was something I hadn't ever expected to fear, to loathe and want to avoid. I bury my face within my hands, crying softly while begging Goddess to put these torturous emotions to rest. But the anger was rising alongside the grief, the rage caused and directed to me as I rocked gently in my place, willing, begging for it to leave me alone.

It was here and it was loud and wanting, demanding for the pain to be unleashed against someone else. But I didn't want it, didn't want to it drown me in it's suffocating darkness and leave me empty without it. I didn't want to feel the way my blood boiled within me, my urges roared to life, misdirecting me to take lives.

I stand shakily, pacing slightly as the wave of guilt builds, pulling the anger with it to leave me wanting.

Theo - I beg desperately, hoping he could make it go away before I made it go away.

Go to Will - Theo says quickly, voice urgent with it. Go to Will, she always calms you. You're not doing this alone Damon, you have a mate, you don't always have to hurt this much. You're not alone.

It quells slightly at the mention of Will, everything quieting to a tolerable ache, giving me the push I need to leave my room and go to Will. I wipe at the tears furiously, knocking and calling for her, needing her more than I knew I could.

When the door finally opens, it takes effort not to immediately cling to her and let it all run out. I watch instead, a feeling of unease washing over me as I look down at her detached figure. Her hand tightly bound to the knob as she looks up at me, revealing red eyes, slightly puffy from past tears.

My eyes travel down her frame, insides twisting as I find small marks of bruises over her, some places still bleeding like her scrapped knees. Terror ropes itself around me, holding me there as I look at the bruises until my eyes lift back to her face where her cheek was red with a harsh scrape.

"What happened?" I question shakily, reaching a hand up to touch her cheek.

I stop when she flinches away, leaving me suddenly sore all over from the harsh rejection. The action ricochets through me as I stare at me, letting my hand slowly fall, hanging limply to my side as I look at her. Theo howls loudly with pain that echoes through me, as I stare into the transparent eyes that seemed dull now, lacking the light that'd blossomed there over the past few weeks.

"Will, what happened?" I press fearfully, needing to know why she was hurt and suddenly so unimaginably distant.

"I think we need to take a break from one another." She says looking me in my eyes, her filling with each word as the ground beneath my feet begins to crack. "We've been spending too much time together and I think it's time we took some time apart."

I shake my head before she can finish, taking a step forward but stopping when she only takes a step back. My heart squeezes itself with an unrelenting pressure as I look at her, watching with a yearning soul as her tears wet her face.

"Wait, Will." I plead with wobbling lips as I grip the doorframe, needing something to hold me steady. "W-What happened? Why would you say that?"

She doesn't answer, looking down while her body shakes terribly. My fingers twitch with the need to pull her into my arms, to hold her still but she wouldn't even let me touch her. Hopelessly I hold out my trembling hand for her, placing it where she could see it, offering her the bridge she'd learn to cross with confidence.

She stares at it, tears falling faster as she wraps her arms around herself away, looking away from it in rejection. Theo's howling ring through my ears as I watch the crossing crumble between us, pulling the remainder of it back to me and holding it tight as panic flared through me. Dangerous with its taunts, wicked with its force as I look at my distant mate needing her close but I could feel that I was losing her instead.

"Will."