File #3

*click*

[Received!]

"As I gazed upon the contaminated world around me, I couldn't help but think, "Well, this certainly puts a damper on my afternoon tea plans." The impending apocalypse was a real bummer, but it also presented an opportunity for me to rise up and become Humanity's Hope. No pressure, right?"

"While others cowered in fear or clung to false hopes, I saw the apocalypse as a chance to showcase my impressive survival skills. I mean, who needs Netflix and chill when you can have "End of the World: Lord's Edition"?"

"I planned to be the star of the show, leading humanity to victory while providing witty commentary along the way."

But let's be honest, the parasites weren't your average party crashers. These creatures were like that annoying neighbour who borrows your lawnmower and never returns it, except instead of a lawnmower, they took over human bodies. Not cool, parasites, not cool at all.

Undeterred by the gravity of the situation, I resolved to become the ultimate leader, the one who would rally humanity together and give those parasites a run for their money. I even had my superhero name all picked out: Lord Goldsworth, Savior of the Slightly Annoyed.

"Sure, it meant diving headfirst into combat training and survival skills, but hey, who needs a boring day job when you can master the art of apocalypse survival?"

"I'd be the MacGyver of the post-apocalyptic world, armed with duct tape, a Swiss Army knife, and a sarcastic quip for every occasion.:

"And amidst the chaos and uncertainty, I'd be there, cracking jokes and inspiring people with my unparalleled wit. Because let's face it, laughter is the best defence against impending doom. Well, laughter and a well-timed karate kick to the face, but mostly laughter."

"So, my dear reader, buckle up and join me on this epic adventure. Together, we'll face the challenges, slay the parasites (metaphorically, of course), and emerge victorious. And if all else fails, at least we can say we had a good laugh while the world went down in flames. Cheers to that!"

"Once upon a time in the city where I reside, the grand spectacle of the parasite invasion unfolded. The media, with all its eloquence, painted a picture of humanity valiantly battling against the alien menace.

Oh, how they loved to showcase our triumphs, conveniently forgetting the less glamorous realities that lurked beneath the surface.

But let's move on from the grand narrative and delve into the details of my ordinary existence. You see, my daily routine consisted of attending school, where I found myself surrounded by a group of teachers, all coincidentally having names that started with the letter M.

Among them was Marie Swinter, renowned for her legendary parties, especially during the scorching summer months. I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony of her name, as "Swinter" sounded like "winter in summer," a whimsical fusion of seasons that mirrored her festive spirit.

Now, these teachers, they were a peculiar bunch. To the rest of the students, they appeared friendly and approachable, radiating warmth and kindness. But to me, they remained blissfully unaware of my existence.

And strangely enough, that made me appreciate them even more. Their obliviousness bestowed upon me a certain level of freedom, allowing me to observe them from a distance and find solace in their unawareness.

After the final bell rang, signalling the end of yet another eventful day at school, I embarked on my usual journey home. But today, I felt a yearning for adventure, an itch to wander beyond the ordinary.

I veered off my usual path and found myself traversing through the tranquil woods. Eventually, I stumbled upon an open pipe nestled beneath a bridge, overlooking a small river that flowed sluggishly, choked with debris and discarded refuse.

In this secluded spot, I hatched a plan to further my research on the enigmatic world of cancer. My favourite pair of lungs, a captivating specimen, awaited my diligent examination.

However, I realized that to fully comprehend their secrets, I needed a backup, someone to assist me in translating the intricate details. Alas, the futuristic hologram technology I yearned for was but a figment of my imagination. Instead, I resorted to the humble tools at my disposal—a worn-out recorder, a relic of the past.

It has been a week since I embarked on this quest, and now I leave you, my dear audience, with a promise of more tales to come. So gather your curiosity, for the next tape holds the potential to unravel mysteries and ignite new possibilities.

The story of my peculiar journey continues, beckoning you to join me in the unravelling of secrets and the pursuit of knowledge.

"Also remember to subscribe to Lord's World and click the like button and leave a like..."

"..."

"...I'm serious so get to moving...-"

*clicks*

[Enter Tape]