Nightmares
"May fate ever change, like time's flowing tide, steering the path that is yours to command. Join the tale and unravel the lie."
Huh?
"Thou who seek the light with a fervent gaze, before thee lies an ethereal weapon—command the wake from devastation, shatter inequity, and restore balance."
What is this? What does it mean?
"Lifeless remains, may you forgive my sins. Destruction will not triumph, for balance shall reign. May you prevail, █████."
Just who—?
"The time has passed. Deviate from reality; embrace what is lost."
My head is going to explode!
"Till the end of time."
STOP!
"Fragment of one's soul, chant one's ode, █████."
Irina's eyes snapped open. The sound of glass shattering echoed in the once-silent room. Her heart pounded in her throat, her gaze darting around, unable to fix on any object until it locked onto a small puddle forming near her. Her body trembled as she sat up from the cold floor, drenched in sweat.
She rubbed her eyes, trying to shake off the vivid dream. But her vision darkened. Her ears rang. Panic crept up as she realized she couldn't see. She wiped at her eyes and felt something sticky on her fingers, only now noticing the dark liquid coating her hands.
Her head spun. She staggered backward, grasping at the nearest object for support—a curtain. With a harsh snap, the fabric tore, sending her crashing to the ground. Panting echoed in the room as her heartbeat quickened. She grabbed at her neck, feeling suffocated, before yanking the curtain away from her face.
Red light filled the room, casting eerie shadows. She blinked, slowly recognizing her surroundings. The room was just as it had been before she fell asleep. A broken mug lay on the floor, water pooling beneath it, mingling with something darker, blood. Her hands, still trembling, glittered under the red moonlight filtering through the window.
A full blood-red moon hung high in the sky. Her heart began to calm and a metallic taste on her tongue spread as the ringing in her ears subsided. But just as her panic waned, the voice returned, creeping into her thoughts. Irina clutched her head.
"— only—"
Not this again!
"— thou can glimpse in one's thoughts— absent of a core— devoid of a soul—"
She fought to control her spiraling thoughts.
"—waken in ruins— amidst lifeless remains— blood washed by rain—"
I can't listen to this! My head... I'll lose control if this keeps going!
"— not all that will ensue— I retreat, yet I live on—"
Sefirots! If I enter one, the voices will stop, right? Just like Fors...
"— the end of all hope— to lose all faith— unforgiving destiny—"
Irina's body gave out, collapsing on the cold ground. Her fingers twitched as they moved, slowly tracing the word 'Alexandria' in the blood beside her.
"— thou alone cannot make █████ stand still— To the ashes of time, one shall revolt. Follow m—"
Suddenly, the scene shifted.
Bookshelves stretched as far as the eye could see, towering over her, filled with tomes, records, and novels that seemed to rise to the unknown. The floor beneath her feet was smooth, almost glass-like. Around her, swirling darkness flowed both above and below, undisturbed by her presence.
Irina lay on the floor, sighing in the overwhelming silence. The void felt different this time, less cold, almost inviting.
Did 'He' raise the thermostat or something? Honestly, why do I always land on the floor instead of those comfy sofas? They're right there!
She stood, still grumbling, and began to wander through the library.
I saw the blood moon before waking up... I'm still not used to its color. It shouldn't be full, though, unless... the Mother Goddess of Depravity? But I shouldn't hear ravings from her... so who was that voice?
Her fingers trailed lazily over the spines of books, her eyes glancing over titles she barely registered.
Thinking too deeply about this might not be wise right now. I need to wait until I'm at a higher sequence. Losing control now would be... disastrous. First, Captain Dunn and Leonard catch me nearly losing control in the orphanage's kitchen, and now, two days later, the blood moon almost does it again! How am I supposed to survive in this world? Why couldn't I have ended up in a silly romance novel? No, I had to end up in LotM! It's not fair!
She slowed her pace, letting out a long, frustrated sigh.
Today was going so well... How did things turn out like this? After signing the contract with Cap, I went to Mrs. Orianna to get an advance, then back to Old Neil. He taught me Spirit Vision, though I can't see all the colors on different parts of people's bodies like him, just on objects. And I don't even know what they mean! Even Old Neil was baffled by my ability.
Those creepy illusory eyes behind him... Ugh, he said to me the same thing he said to Klein, 'Just ignore them.'
Irina came to a complete stop, lost in thought.
He even showed me some documents and said I should read them next time. Oh, and I got to see Emperor Roselle's diary! Not that it helped, since I can't read Chinese. But I also learned Cogitation from Old Neil. No more needing meds to fall asleep!
Her fingers twitched as she reached for an ancient tome. Its black spine bore the handwritten title, "May It Lead You," in white English script.
Strange. Most of the books here are titled in Leon's language... Speaking of languages, I should probably learn Hermes at some point. I mean, every Beyonder knows it, right? Old Neil will teach me...
She carefully pulled the tome from the shelf.
Jotun too... considering Little Sun, that would be useful. Maybe I'll pick up Elvish and Dragonese too, though as Sequence 8's History Teacher, I have to learn Ancient Feysac. Feysac, Intis, and Highlander all come from it. Learning the languages of neighboring kingdoms just makes sense. And I'll definitely need Dutanes if I visit Balam.
She groaned, her fingers trembling from the weight of the tome.
Gosh, there's so much work ahead! My sequence had better help me out here. I'll become better than 'Google Translate'... perhaps even better than that annoying green bird, Duol—uh?
Irina flipped open the book to the first page. The words stared back at her, cold and cryptic:
"To the Rule that will not heed your command. Let destruction unfold, and the tale begins. Their fate lies in your hands, for 'It' shall forever linger, unforgiving and merciless."
Well... that's vague, she thought, frowning. Whoever wrote this definitely knew how to be cryptic. What's this 'Rule'? And what's 'It' supposed to be?
Curiosity piqued, she turned the page. Across both pages, a single line stood out in stark, defiant letters:
"I am no warrior, yet I rise in defiance."
Her confusion deepened. She turned another page.
"May fate ever change, like time's flowing tide, steering the path that is yours to command. Join the tale and unravel the lie."
Wait a second... Her breath hitched. Isn't this similar to what I heard before?
She quickly flipped through the rest of the book, scanning the pages but finding only incomprehensible symbols and phrases written in an unfamiliar language. With a defeated sigh, Irina closed the book and returned it to the shelf.
Apart from those first pages, none of it made any sense. What language even was that? She leaned back against the shelf, rubbing her temples, trying to make sense of her thoughts.
After a few moments of contemplation, she pushed herself off the shelf and began wandering through the aisles once more, her fingers grazing the spines of old books as she read their titles.
It's probably better this way. I don't know enough about the 'Library of Alexandria' yet... Irina sighed. Nefiref said my Pathway's strength lays in protection, keeping me from losing control, even with all the dangerous knowledge. Honestly, I should've died the moment I entered this world. No, death would've been a mercy compared to the horrors the Mother Tree of Desire could've inflicted...
A cold shiver ran down her spine at the thought of what could have been. She clenched her fists, forcing herself to stay calm.
Maybe I wasn't as unlucky as I thought.
By the time she found her way back to the plush sofas, Irina had mentally gone over all the terrifying information she wasn't supposed to even think about outside the safety of the Sefiroth.
It's so hard though! What if I come across something that reminds me of it? How will I stop myself from losing control? She dropped onto the sofa with a frustrated groan, grabbing a pillow and pressing it over her face. And that damn quill! I need to have a plan for when it shows up, but I can't even think about it or that stupid quill will know!
Her muffled voice broke through the silence as she screamed into the pillow. "JUST WHY? WHY ME? WHAT IS ALL THIS WORK I HAVE TO DO!? IS IT TOO LATE TO THROW MYSELF OUT OF A WINDOW!?"
She tossed the pillow aside and sat up abruptly, her eyes wide as a dreadful thought crept into her mind.
What if... when I go to Backlund, I meet someone I shouldn't? Like... I don't know... Amon?
Irina shot to her feet, her heart racing. "FUCK!"
No, no, no. I need to stay calm. Amon shouldn't be in a big city like Backlund yet. At least... not at this point in time. But where is he? I can't remember exactly... Wasn't 'He' in the forgotten lands of the Gods?
Her thoughts spun in circles, paranoia sinking its claws in deeper. It doesn't matter where he is! He could literally be anywhere with 'His' avatars. There's no point in worrying... Maybe only praying could keep me safe. But pray to who? I can't attract attention from any God! Who knows what 'They' would do!
She shook her head, massaging her temples. Adam will be another problem down the road. I can't even think about him or 'He' might appear. At least I don't have to worry about Medici, Sasrir, Zaratul... yet.
Exhaling deeply, Irina slumped back onto the sofa, utterly exhausted.
I can't believe I have to survive in all this madness. How did Klein manage it? I read the entire story, but now that I'm living it... it feels impossible.
Her gaze drifted toward the swirling dark mass above her. I need to stop stressing about everything and focus on unlocking my sequences. First priority: keep Dunn alive. Second: save Kenley during Madam Sharon's capture, though I'm not sure that's even possible with 0-08 involved. Third: prevent Old Neil from attempting to resurrect his lover. The blood moon can wait. If it happens again, I'll just enter the Sefiroth.
She stared blankly at the ceiling, a small, tired smile creeping onto her face. There's some fun to this, at least. Hanging out with the girls and Leonard is enjoyable. Once Klein arrives, the Tarot Club will be in full swing. I really want to meet Alger in person, he looked pretty hot in those fanarts. And Fors! I bet I can get her to write fanfiction about the club members. Maybe even tease that vampire... Ah, I can't wait!
Suddenly filled with energy, Irina clapped her hands against her cheeks and jumped to her feet. "Alright! I can do this!"
Hours later, on a bright, sunny afternoon, Irina found herself walking back from the library, her spirits still high. That is, until her body froze in the middle of the road.
Not far ahead, a black-eyed man with curly dark hair and a thin face was walking directly towards her, his gaze unfocused, lost in thought. A pointy hat sat atop his head, and worst of all, a monocle gleamed on his right eye.
Irina's voice barely left her lips as she whispered, "I take back my words... I can't do this."
'His' black eyes snapped immediately to hers.