Uncomfortable

When everyone came back, I had managed to dry all my tears but couldn't calm myself down at all. I felt weak and like I was spiraling at a rate I couldn't explain. Everything felt wrong and out of place to me! I just felt like everything was about to explode around me and nothing would ever be the same!

"Stop biting your nails, Sugar," Jasper took my thumb from my mouth. It was lightly bleeding as I had managed to chew past the nail quite a bit. I couldn't even react to the sight of blood as it was pumping much too hard.

"Alexander, how do you feel?" Mrs. Azure asked.

"I'm just fucking terrific," I said sarcastically. "Like I can do another thirty years of this."

"Sweetie, tell me what's on your mind," she sat down next to the bed, her voice gentle but firm.

"Nothing," I insisted. "I mean, it's not like this is a surprise. I never expected better from someone like her."

Mrs. Azure leaned in closer, her eyes filled with concern. "You need to talk about it, Alex. Holding it in isn't going to help."

I sighed, trying to gather my thoughts. "She's always been like this. My mother has never cared about anyone but herself. We were all just pawns in her little game. She used me for good ideas, Tony to show off his arrogance, and Emily to show off her beauty. We never had one good moment, except maybe when she cooked, but even that was tense."

Mrs. Azure nodded, her expression thoughtful. "Tell me more about those times she betrayed you."

I hesitated, then started to speak, the words tumbling out of me in a rush. "There was this one time when I was about thirteen. I had just started showing an interest in business, and I came up with this idea for a school project. It was a really good idea, too. I spent weeks working on it. But when the time came to present it, my mom took my notes and gave them to Tony. He presented it as his own. I got a C on the project I ended up scrambling together last minute, and Tony got an A+ and all the praise."

Mrs. Azure's eyes widened slightly. "That must have been devastating."

"It was," I admitted. "And then there was the time she sided with Emily over me when she pushed me down the stairs. I was in the hospital with a concussion, and she blamed me for 'provoking' Emily. Said I must have done something to deserve it. And then there was the time she told my first serious real friend all sorts of lies about me, just to break stop is from hanging out. She didn't think the girl was good enough for me to hang out around apparently because she was middle class. And recently, she tried to ruin my career by spreading false rumors about me, saying I was involved in all sorts of scandals and holding Jasper hostage in the marriage."

Mrs. Azure sighed deeply. "Alex, it's clear your mother has been a deeply negative influence on your life. Her actions have affected you in ways you might not even fully understand. The fact that she would go to such lengths to destroy you speaks volumes about her character, not yours. This isn't about anything you did wrong; it's about her inability to see past her own selfish needs. I can't understand how any mother can actually do that kind of thing to their child without batting an eye. She's the one who's an awful person."

I scoffed. "It's not that big of a deal. This isn't anything new with the Todd family, and I'm a lot more used to it than you would think. It's really on me for completely ignoring her after rejecting her offer to work together. I should've seen this coming and taken her out of the game. Besides, isn't a thing like this normal in the corporate families?"

Mrs. Azure shook her head in disbelief. "No, Alex. What's normal is a few siblings fighting over the rights to succession of their respective companies and engage in corporate sabotage. What you described was just... this isn't a normal thing. None of those children ever fought their parents like this, especially when they have no connection to each other. The way your family has treated you isn't normal. They've broken you down to this point, and it's evident in how you handle your own emotions. You've been forced to develop a tough exterior just to survive, but it's left you so bitter and angry, you won't even cry in front of your husband or your sister or even me. You're carrying around a lot of pain from your past, and that's not something you should have to live with all by yourself."

Her words left me speechless. I had always thought of my anger as a strength, a necessary tool for survival. But hearing her say it wasn't normal, that it was a sign of something deeper, shook me to my core. I've only ever known how to be hateful and spiteful my entire life. I'm only good at it because everyone around me was good at it. I'm only good at being two faced like this because I am a Todd since birth!

If I had to let go of all that, who would I be?

Mrs. Azure continued, her voice softening. "You're incredibly strong, Alexander. To have gone through everything you've described and still be standing and running Todd Corporation flawlessly is a testament to your resilience. But you need to find a way to address this anger and pain, or it will consume you while and leave you miserable. You need an emotional outlet."

"I have one," I said defensively. "It's Jasper."

She shook her head gently. "Jasper is wonderful, but relying on him entirely for emotional support isn't healthy. It's co-dependency, and it's not an excuse to avoid dealing with your problems. You need to understand yourself and your emotions better."

Jasper and I exchanged a glance. He looked incredibly nervous, his eyes pleading with me to take Mrs. Azure's words to heart. "Surely you don't agree."

"I do," he said.

That much surprised me. Shouldn't he be wanting to stick to me like glue right now? Didn't he love me like I am? Liar!

After a prolonged silence, I finally spoke up. "Fine. I'll get some professional help, but I won't do it without Jasper. He's my comfort. I need him there with me."

Mrs. Azure seemed taken aback but quickly composed herself. "I suggest individual therapy. It will be more effective in addressing your personal issues."

"I don't want to do this without Jasper," I insisted. "I'm not the only one with shit going on so if he goes, I'll go."

Elizabeth, who had been quietly observing, finally chimed in. "Why don't you just do the therapy together then?"

Mrs. Azure looked hesitant. "It's not the usual approach, but if that's what it takes to get you started, we can try it."

I nodded, feeling a small sense of relief. "Then it's settled. We'll do it together."

Mrs. Azure sighed but agreed. "Alright, we'll arrange for couples therapy sessions. But Alex, I want you to promise me that you'll give this your all. This is about healing, about finding a way to move forward without this anger weighing you down."

"I promise," I said, though I wasn't entirely sure if I believed it myself. The anger was still there, bubbling just beneath the surface. But for now, I'd try to take the first step. "Can you explain how exactly this will help me and not take away from business?"

Mrs. Azure nodded, her demeanor professional. "Therapy will help you explore your emotions in a safe environment. It will help you understand why you feel the way you do and give you tools to manage those feelings. It's not about changing who you are, but about helping you become a healthier, happier version of yourself."

"What about the dependency thing? How do I know I won't just fall apart if I'm not leaning on Jasper all the time?" I questioned, feeling a bit exposed.

"That's part of what therapy can help with. It will help you build your own emotional resilience so that while Jasper is a support, he isn't a crutch. You'll learn to stand on your own and handle these challenges independently," she explained.

I glanced at Jasper, who nodded encouragingly. "We'll do it together, Sugar. I'm here for you, but I want you to be strong too."

There was a long silence as I processed everything. Finally, I looked up at Mrs. Azure. "Okay. Let's do this. But if it doesn't work, I'm blaming all of you."

Elizabeth chuckled. "We wouldn't expect anything less."

As Mrs. Azure started to make arrangementsq, I felt a strange mix of emotions—anger, hope, fear. I was going to have to dive deep into my unpleasant upbringing from start to finish and have some wack job tell me what I have to do!

I already regret this.