Chapter 16: Mae Kazimi
Passages from Mae Kazimi's journal:
August 7, 12:05 AM
Dear mother, father and Khadir,
Do you ever think about the future? Because lately, that's all I can think about. I always wonder, where will I be in 5 years from now? Will I be successful or will I be dead? Will I be married or will I be alone and in hiding?
I know there's nothing I can do and no matter how many times I remind myself of this, it doesn't help. It's like my brain refuses to understand that I can't control my future.
But what I can control is how my future ends up. If there's one thing I want, it is enough money that can last me my lifetime and more. And once I've acquired that amount, perhaps I'll finally say goodbye to Shadow and stop living my life behind a mask.
And finally live my life fully as Mae Kazimi.
I mean, I know it will be hard to say goodbye to Shadow but one day I will have to. And the sooner the day is, the brighter my future will be.
Mae Kazimi.
August 12, 7:36 PM
Dear father, mother and Khadir,
I'm almost finished filling up my third journal with letters all addressed to you. It's a silly thing, writing letters to people who will never even read it. I don't even know who you are. I've seen you around here and there of course, I mean after all, you are all important people here. But you're strangers.
Familiar faces, and yet strangers.
If you ever found out of these letters, I'd probably kill myself on the spot. I don't know when I'll ever stop, but I think the time is coming soon.
Mae Kazimi
August 14, 11:20 PM
Dear mother, father and Khadir
Do you think you're going to go to hell? I suppose you've already accepted that you are. We are murderers after all, no? Isn't that where we belong? We decide who dies and does not when it shouldn't be in our hands. We decide when to cut a human life short.
We are cruel. We deal in money.
But then again, there's nothing more you can expect from us Kazimi's can you?
But then again, I don't feel like a Kazimi. I was cast out and forgotten. But that is an old story now, and I think I'm almost over it.
Almost.
Mae Kazimi
August 17, 3:07 PM
Dear mother, father and Khadir,
I nearly died tonight. The world felt so far away and for a second I wanted to let go. But then I thought, why die when you can live such a fruitful life? Why die and waste all the money in my bank account?
So I killed the man.
Mae Kazimi