838. Chapter 838

After Linchpin

Episode 4.16

By

UCSbdad

Disclaimer: Just one domino falling, and I own Castle. Not! Rating: K Time: See above

Sophia Turner told a lot of lies. Kate Beckett thought. Of course you have to put some of the truth into your lies to make them sound like the truth. She told me that the sexual tension between her and Castle got so bad that they just had to sleep with each other. That worries me, too. I'm attracted to Castle. If I'm honest with myself, I'm more attracted to him that any man I've ever known. And he's attracted to me as well. But is it just the unresolved sexual tension? She thought back over the last three years with Castle and very slightly shook her head so that her partner wouldn't notice. No, three years ago, Castle lived his life on Page Six of the Ledger. Out with a different supermodel or starlet every night. He hasn't done that since Ellie Monroe and that was early in our relationship. Whatever our relationship actually is. Then he got back together with Gina, his ex-wife. But he hardly ever was on Page Six with her. The only time I ever saw them in the gossip columns…. Yes, dammit, I did watch the gossip columns for any mention of Castle, despite being with Josh. The only time I saw them in the gossip columns was when they had that big fight just before they broke up. Since then, he hasn't been with any woman but me. Tell me that isn't un-Castle-like! He's had chances. Natalie Rhodes for one. She wanted to bed Castle in the name of research and he said no. Who else? Kay Cappuccio? There was a time when Castle would have been all over her, being charming and witty. They'd have been on Page Six and in bed in some discrete New York hotel in no time. And then there was that damned insurance investigator. Oh, but I wanted to throw her into a holding cell with a couple hookers coming down from a nice heroin high. Especially after I caught them kissing. But nothing happened. Serena Kaye went about her business and Castle stayed with me.

Kate took a look at her partner, who was sitting quietly in his chair, reading a report. She saw him frown. What got to him, I wonder? A split infinitive? Ending a sentence with a preposition? Incorrect use of irony? She smiled to herself. Not that he needs to find women connected with any of our cases. Castle could get any number of beautiful, intelligent, elegant and interesting women without even trying. So, why does he stay with me? He told me that he loves me. No, that's not the complete story. He's shown me that he loves me. He stayed in my car as it was sinking into the Hudson because he wanted to get me out. I don't know how close we came to drowning, but I'm sure it was just seconds. He's not a cop. Well, yes he is. Even if the NYPD hasn't given him a badge, he's my partner and he's more of a cop than anyone else I know. How many times has he gone with me into situations where he could have gotten killed? My first case after I came back from being shot I was confronted by a killer with a shotgun. I had frozen before, but that time Castle helped me through it. But how close were we to being killed by Mitch Yancey? One twitch of that bastard's finger and both Castle and I are gone. Every case we work on has the possibility of death. We went after Lone Vengeance together. It turned out to be a cop who wouldn't have killed us, but we didn't know that. Lone Vengeance could have been some deranged killer with a god complex, out smiting the wicked, and the occasional cop and her tag along writer.

To tell the truth, he doesn't have to look that far for a woman who'd be willing to go to bed with him. I almost did in LA. If I'd been five seconds faster or he'd been five seconds slower, we'd have been in bed. And after the bombing in the bank, I was convinced he was dead. But, when I found he was alive I was so happy I almost said something. If Martha hadn't said something, I would have kissed him. I'm working with Dr. Burke now. I am getting better. I will be ready for Castle.

And as for Sophia Turner? She's a dead liar. All she wanted to do was push me and Rick apart so we wouldn't have each other to depend on. She'd have checked us out, of course. She must have known our history together. She's smart enough to figure out Castle is in love with me. Hell, everyone else has figured it out, even me. She probably even figured out I'm in love with Castle. And I'll bet she was smart enough to figure out how frightening being in love with Castle is to me. If I lose Castle, it's all over for me. My mom's murder is no longer enough for me. I'll never find another person like Castle. I might be walking around and breathing, but without Castle, my life would be over.

So, rot in hell, Sophia Turner. Kate Beckett is going to get what you never could. I hope.

Sophia Turner told a lot of lies. Rick Castle thought. Was that line about my father one of them? There wasn't any reason for her to lie, I was about to die, with Beckett, so why lie? Why not? There are some people who always lie. Sophia Turner had been lying for her whole life about who she was, where she was from, what she was doing and god knows what else. It's second nature for her to lie. I was part of the lie, of course. I based Clara Strike on Sophia and she just sat there and laughed at me behind my back. Clara Strike, caring, patriotic, dedicated CIA agent was based on a person who'd start World War Three for money. What a joke.

I was right about Clara in one way, though. She is a lot like Beckett and Nikki. But Sophia and Beckett aren't fictional characters. I love Beckett, more than I ever realized I could love. I would have drowned in her car rather than let her drown alone. We were both either going to live or die. No other way. But how does she feel about me really? I know she said she can't remember a thing about the shooting. That has the ring of truth to it. I remember that sergeant I talked who had been in the Iraq war. He'd gotten out of his tank to check something and got shot through his protective plate by a sniper. He said he never remembered getting out of his tank, getting shot or anything until he woke up in the hospital. He wondered for weeks how he'd taken a rifle bullet inside his tank until someone explained it to him. But I know that stories with the ring of truth can be based on a lie. God, I wish I knew how Beckett really feels about me. Or is ignorance bliss?

He checked his partner who was busy on her computer filling out what little of the report she could tell Gates and the NYPD. Okay, I know she has some feelings for me. She broke up with Josh and she hasn't had a date since. Lanie's said that Beckett hardly had a social life until Sorenson came along and that only lasted six months. Then no one, then Demming for a little bit and then Josh. The only person she's been with is me since then. I just wish…No, don't wish. Remember the old saying, be careful of what you with for, you might get it.

But if my dad really was CIA, it would explain so much. And it would be so cool….He sat there imagining all the wonderful things his father was doing and wondering if Nikki should meet a CIA agent.

And neither of them said anything to the other.