457. Chapter 457

After Boom

Episode 2.18

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: You don't need an FBI profiler to know I don't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Kate Beckett sat patiently giving her statement to Jordan Shaw in the aftermath of the destruction of her apartment. Shaw finished writing and put her notebook away. Beckett, assuming she was done, stood up.

"So you're not sleeping with Castle?" Shaw asked.

Kate stared coldly at the FBI agent. "That's what I said. Do you think I'm lying to you?"

"No, but I am curious about your relationship with Castle."

"Why?"

Shaw shrugged. "Just curiosity. I'm an inveterate gatherer of information. You never know what you may find useful down the road."

Kate rolled her eyes very slightly.

"So Castle was not in bed with you when the third victim was deposited on your doorstep? He was asleep on the couch?"

Kate just nodded.

Shaw looked thoughtful. "Tell me, Beckett, do you think that Castle is perhaps not very smart, or that he has no imagination?"

"What in the hell are you getting at?" Kate snapped.

"I'm trying to understand the relationship. So, do you think Castle isn't too bright, and unimaginative?"

Kate took a deep breath before answering. "He's very intelligent, and, if anything, he has way too much imagination. Satisfied?"

"No. So let me see if I have this scenario correct. Castle is asleep on your couch, and you're in your bed. So, if our killer decided to kill Nikki Heat, he'd kill, or at least seriously injure Castle before he got to you? And by that time you'd be awake and would have grabbed your weapon."

"Our killer isn't going to do that." Kate snapped. "It's a big game to him. He has to make Nikki Heat, or rather me, look stupid so that he'll look brilliant. Just walking in and shooting me won't do it for him."

Shaw shrugged. "Maybe. If his plans go as he wants them to, and plans never do. Let's consider a possibility. Our killer is bringing the body to your door. But, in spite of the fact that it's late, someone comes out of their apartment and sees him with a dead body. They run back inside to call 911. Maybe he runs, or maybe he decides to take Nikki Heat down, mano a mano. He shoots open the lock, kicks in the door, and…who dies first?"

Kate grimaced. "In that scenario, Castle."

"Now, if I'm smart enough and imaginative to think that up, do you think Castle is smart enough and imaginative to figure out that possibility as well? That he was all that would be between you and a serial kiler?"

Kate ran all sorts of answers through her mind, but couldn't find one she wanted to tell Shaw. But she knew what the answer was.

Shaw went on. "But the real question is, is Detective Kate Beckett smart enough and imaginative enough to figure out that scenario as well?"

Kate just looked at the FBI agent.

"I'd be interested in knowing the answer to that one." Shaw stood up and walked away.

Later, Kate stared at the ceiling of Castle's guest bedroom unable to sleep. Do I take Castle for granted? Have I let my unwillingness to let anyone past my walls blind me to what Castle has done for me? What he's willing to do for me? Shaw was right. Castle has been risking his life for me since our first case together. Have I taken my dislike for him to the point that I'm willing to overlook his safety? No! I don't dislike Castle. He has made a difference in my life as cop. And as a person. He does make the job a little more fun, but if I start to acknowledge that, if I start to let him past my walls…If I let him past my walls, he'll break my heart. I know that. Is that my only choice? My heart is broken or Castle's heart is stopped? No, there has to be another way. I just have to think of it.

Kate Beckett rolled over on her side and eventually went to sleep.

Once Scott Dunn was in custody, Kate was again debriefed by Agent Shaw. Shaw looked at her over the top of her notebook. "I'm assuming you did not sleep with Castle when you were at his loft?"

"Correct." Kate said shortly. She was getting tired of this.

"But you stayed with Castle, knowing that Scott Dunn was after you, and by extension, Castle?"

"It's a secure building, and there was an FBI agent in the lobby. It was as safe as anywhere else."

"As safe for who? And remember, you thought your apartment was safe before Dunn blew it up. You'd have been just as safe in a hotel with your team around you and no Castle. Safer for you and much safer for Castle."

"I'm not trying to get Castle killed if that's what you're trying to imply."

"How do you think Scott Dunn felt about Jameson Rook?" Shaw asked changing the subject.

"He never mentioned him. This was all about Nikki Heat and by extension, me."

Shaw smiled. "I noticed that you didn't answer my question. That said, we'll probably never know what was going through his mind." Shaw changed the subject again. "It seems to me that if you're Nikki Heat, Castle is Jameson Rook. Do you agree?"

Kate nodded. "To some extent I'm Nikki Heat and Castle is Jameson Rook, but remember, Castle has an excellent imagination."

"So does Dunn."

"And we'll never know what that imagination was thinking about. Either about the fictional Jameson Rook or the real Richard Castle." Kate shot back.

"You used Castle as your backup. You even gave him a weapon."

"And he saved both of our lives, probably." Kate was getting angry. "Whatever our relationship is, or isn't, is no longer an issue. What I do or do not do with Castle isn't an issue anymore. But I will tell you that I'll continue to have Castle as my partner for as long as he's willing."

Shaw smiled. "He cares about you, Kate. You may not see it. You may not be ready to, but he does."

Kate nodded slowly. "Castle is…complicated."

"It's going to get uncomplicated eventually." Shaw said softly. "If you're really as disinterested in him as you seem to want everyone, including Castle, to think, you should make that clear to him now and not wait until he makes it uncomplicated, or he gets killed."

Kate went back to Castle's loft that night with a lot to think about.