359. Chapter 359

AU After Cops and Robbers

Episode 4.07

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: There's more going on here than me not owning Castle. Or is there? Rating: K Time: See above.

Author's Note: In Chapter 214, Kate, thinking that Trapper John had shot Castle, walked into the bank and took down all four robbers, thereby violating every NYPD hostage situation protocol and a few laws. Luckily, for Kate, the NY media hailed her as a hero, and the NYPD decided they couldn't very well punish a hero. But the media can be fickle….

Detective Kate Beckett walked out of her hearing with her head held high, but with a grim look on her face. Castle hurried over to her. "Kate? What did they do? What was the verdict?"

"Not now, Castle. Please. Just get me out of here." She turned towards the elevators that would take her to the lobby of One Police Plaza.

Castle put out his hand to stop her. "Not that way. It's solid news crews out there, all wanting a piece of you. There's a freight elevator this way. Ryan and Espo are in the basement garage. Come on." He took her arm and led her towards the elevator.

"Castle…Thanks. Thank you so much for everything you've done since…" She couldn't go on.

"That's what partners are for." He said, risking a quick squeeze of her hand.

She squeezed back. "I could have gotten you or someone else killed. The papers are right to call me an out of control cop, risking people's lives to save her…boyfriend."

"Actually, you thought you were avenging my death. You thought Trapper John shot me."

"Castle. Please. I screwed up badly. I feel like shit and I will for a long time."

They reached the elevator and rode it down to the basement. Ryan and Espo were waiting for them. "What happened up there?" Ryan asked.

Kate took a deep breath and squeezed Castle's hand again. "I'm still a cop and still a detective. But I drew a six months suspension without pay, plus I need to take and pass a class on hostage situations and I need to pass a psych evaluation."

"You take down four goons, stop a murderer from kidnapping his son and that's the thanks you get?" Espo growled. "That sucks."

Both Ryan and Castle nodded.

"Hey, guys! I'm ready to go." Said a familiar female voice.

"Karpowski?" Kate said. "What are you doing here?"

Roz Karpowski patted her brunette wig. "I'm you for a while. I ride in the back of Ryan and Espo's cruiser. The reporters see me and take off in hot pursuit and we lead them all around the Five Boroughs. Neat, huh?"

"And then we make our getaway." Castle pointed to a taxi. "Officer Hastings is outside. She'll call me when the coast is clear."

Kate hugged the other three detectives. "Thanks guys. I owe you for this."

Kate and Castle sat in the back of the taxi and headed for Castle's loft. "It'll be better for you at the loft. I have a doorman, the building is super secure and…It'll be better."

Once alone in the loft, Castle poured Kate a glass of wine. "Will you be okay?" He asked.

She nodded. "I'm better already. Castle, I know I haven't talked to you about why I lost it and went in shooting. I need to talk to you now. Okay?"

Castle led her over to the sofa and sat down with her.

She took a long drink of her wine. "When Trapper John fired that shot and hung up on me, I was sure he'd killed you. I'd told him that if he did that, I'd walk in and put a bullet in his skull."

"Kate, he was just putting pressure on you. He was going to call back and let you talk to me."

"I know that now, but then, all I could think was that you were dead. It was just like when my mom died, except I could do something about it right then. I had lost you and I couldn't see any way to go on. Castle, you're more than my partner, more than my friend…Castle…"

"I love you." They said together. They looked at each other and laughed.

"You love me?" They said again.

"I guess we do." Castle said.

"At least that's out in the open." Kate replied. "One thing. I'll be seeing Dr. Burke. The NYPD thought that since he's familiar with me, it would be better than starting out new with someone else. I'd like you to come with me. Can you?"

"Absolutely. Anything you want or need, I'm there." Castle decided to bring up something that he hoped wouldn't upset Beckett. "Kate, you won't have any income for the next six months. I want you to stay here."

She shook her head. "Castle, I can't do that."

"You love me. I love you. And, I've made millions off of the Nikki Heat books. Please, Kate. Please, please, please. Let me take care of you. I'll get down on my hands and knees and beg if I have to." He began to slide off of the sofa, but she stopped him.

"Okay. I'll stay with you. On one condition."

"What?"

"You let me sleep with you."

"That's a condition? Did you think I'd turn you down? I did mention that I love you, right?"

"Speaking of sleeping. It has been a long day."

Castle checked his watch. "Yeah. It's almost five o'clock. We should hit the hay."

Four days later, they arrived at Dr. Burke's office. Kate introduced Rick to Dr. Burke.

"I'm happy to finally meet you, Mr. Castle. Kate has told me a great deal about you."

"Dr. Burke," Kate said, "I asked Castle to come along because he's the reason I charged into that bank. I thought that the man that I love was dead. Let me explain what happened, not just that day, but from the first time we met.

As Kate told their story to Dr. Burke, she began to cry. The more she spoke, the more she cried. "As you can see, I haven't treated Rick well at all over the years. First Tom Demming, then Josh. I not only pushed him away, and insulted him, but I lied to him about something very important." She turned to Castle. "Rick, I remembered you saying that you loved me when I was shot. I remembered it from day one and I lied to you. I feel horrible about it. Can you ever forgive me?"

Castle was stunned. "You knew? And you lied?"

"I'm so sorry." She mumbled between sobs.

Castle pulled her to him and held her tightly. "Why?"

"You know what a wreck I was after my mom's death. I've never really gotten over that. The walls that I told you about. And…It was so hard for me to believe that you'd really want…some cop. And everything else. Montgomery dying. "Just in time Kate remembered that Dr. Burke didn't know about Montgomery's secret. "And everything that went with his death. I just went into a tailspin. Now, I wish that I had told you the truth there in the hospital. I wish I'd been with you those long months. I wish we'd been together…for years. I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Kate, I love you. I'm not happy about this, in fact I'm mad, but I still love you and I guess on some level I understand. It's a lot to process." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Kate."

"I love you, too." She whispered.

"Mr. Castle…" Dr. Burke began.

"Please, call me Rick."

"Rick, I think you need to know a little bit about where Kate was emotionally after she was shot. I'd like to bring you up to speed."

Much later, they left the doctor's office, arm in arm.

"Shall we go home?" He asked.

"Home. I like the sound of that."