276. Chapter 276

After That 70's Show

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: It would be totally groovy to own Castle, but I don't. Rating: Like, totally K, you dig? Time: Like now, baby.

Disco Heat

By

Richard Castle

Captain Jameson Rook strode through the mean streets of Manhattan. Everywhere he went the bad dudes and dudettes took one look and boogied on out. He was a living sex machine, he was a bad mother... (Shut yo mouth!) Hey! I'm talking about Rook.

Behind him strode his rookie partner, Detective Nikki Heat, straight out of uniform duty and too green to be trusted on these mean streets by herself. But as Captain Rook walked, he thought that Nikki Heat was one righteous chick. And, that if she played her cards right, Rook would soon be seeing all of those gorgeous, supple legs and the most perfect ass it had ever been his pleasure to ogle.

He saw the man he had come to see ahead of him. Dressed in clear plastic, six inch platform shoes, with live goldfish in the heels, a blue and white striped suit with dyno-mite bell bottoms and a pukka shell necklace over his half unbuttoned Paisley double knit shirt and his trademark mink top hat, there was no mistaking "Honey Bear", Rook's ears on the street.

"How it is, dude?" Honey Bear asked. "And may I say you have one delicious babe with you. Why she might even be good enough to join Honey Bear's stable. What do you say, slim? You up for a groovy time?"

Nikki Heat snorted. "With Honey Bear Perlmutter? Men are hotter for the offensive line of the Miami Dolphins than your chicks. Stable is a good word for them."

Honey Bear took offense. "Why you bein' so mean to me, hot mamma? All I want is to help you hear the music, sweet one."

Nikki shook her head and glared at Honey Bear.

Captain Rook also glared at Honey Bear. "I'm a complicated man and no one understands me but my women. But, there a new smack ring in town. Run by some punk who calls himself Mr. Big."

"So?" Honey Bear said glumly.

"You get your hips out on the street and find something about this dude so I can bust him."

"The man is always coming down on the brothers." Honey Bear complained.

"Would you rather be in the Walls, dude?" Rook asked sarcastically.

"I dig where you're coming from." Honey Bear said quickly. "My ladies will know something. Catch you later."

"Castle! What is this that you're writing?" Kate asked.

"I liked our little excursion into the 70's. So I'm writing a little Nikki Heat short story. Isn't it groovy?"

"It's sexist. Nikki is nothing but a sex object to Rook. And Captain Rook? Really?"

"Like you could do better?"

Disco Heat

By

Kate Beckett

Detective Nikki Heat stepped out of her dark green '67 Mustang fastback and checked the street. "Okay, you can get out now, Captain."

Captain Jameson Rook stuck his head out and looked around. "Are you sure, Heat? This area looks dangerous."

Nikki shook her head. "We're right across the street from the precinct. You really need to get out from behind your desk more…sir." Then she muttered under her breath. "Before your behind can't get out of your office."

Nikki strutted down the street in her white polyester pants suit with the imported black silk shirt, open to show a bit of décolletage as "Staying Alive" played in her head. Staying alive was one thing Detective Nikki Heat did very well. She didn't need a hero, she was a hero.

She looked behind her to see Captain Rook huffing and puffing behind her. "Captain?" She said sharply.

"I'm coming. I'm coming." He panted. Rook admired Detective Heat. He hoped that one day he'd work up the nerve to buy her some coffee. Perhaps even a bear claw. She was…remarkable.

"Hello, Honey Suckle." Nikki said to a flashily dressed Black woman in a bright red mini-dress, six inch heels and a bright headband around her Afro.

"Who is this jive turkey you brought with you, Heat. I don't talk to no honky cops, 'cept you, of course. 'Cause we're sisters." Honey Suckle said with a sneer.

"Honey Suckle Parish, meet Captain Jameson Rook."

Honey Suckle glared at him. "Well, just keep Mr. Piggly Wiggly away from me. And where did he get those threads? "

Captain Rook stared at his new Sears Roebuck suit. "The saleswoman said it was very…hip." He took a step towards Honey Suckle who growled at him.

Nikki glared at Rook. "Stay back." She said to Rook.

"Is she some kind of criminal?" Rook asked, sotto voce.

"She's Dr. Parish. She runs a free clinic." Nikki said angrily. She turned to Honey Suckle. "There's some pig bringing smack into our 'hood, Honey Suckle. You know people. Find out about him, okay."

Honey Suckle nodded. "Give me some power." Honey Suckle and Nikki exchanged an odd, five minute long handshake that Rook failed to follow.

"Kate." Castle said shaking his head. "A police captain being treated by a detective like that? Who'd believe that?"

"The same people who read about Nikki and Captain Irons." She said calmly.

"Let me show you how it's done." He said, laughing.

Disco Heat

By

Richard Castle

"Honey Bear came through for me, big time. One of Mr. Big's major dealers is a "Doc" Davidson. And he's a gambler. Likes to go to a gang run game in Little Arabia, Achmed Ben Dibanana's place. I'll just go in there, entice Davidson into a game and clean him out. Then he'll have to deal with me."

Rook looked momentarily puzzled. "I don't know why they call him Doc. He's not a doctor. According to his records, he dropped out of third grade after failing recess for three straight years."

He looked around. "Where's Spandex?" Spandex was the nick name for Rook's ace detectives, Amadeo Gomez, known on the street as "Spanish" and a former Black nationalist turned cop, Leonard X. Together they were Spandex.

"They're chasing a French drug dealer on the subway boss." Said a detective.

"Okay. I'll take Dumming as my back up. Where is he?"

"He accidentally locked himself in one of the bathroom stalls again, sir."

"Again? Can't someone get him out? Can't he be taught to operate a latch? Mother of God, is this the end of Dumming? "

"He's in the ladies room again, sir. NYPD regs don't allow us to…"

"Damned regs." The ruggedly handsome captain snarled. "How do those bleeding heart liberals in One PP expect me and my .44 Magnum to bring scum to justice when I'm feeling lucky?" He looked around and saw his one remaining detective. "Okay, Heat. You're with me."

"Oh, thank you, sir. You won't regret this. I'll have your back, sir."

"No you won't. I work alone. Those damned regs say I should have back up, even though I don't need any. You're there just for show. You'll stay in the car."

"Oh, please be careful, sir. I…couldn't stand it if something happened to you." Nikki sobbed.

"No!" Kate said. "Absolutely no way. Even your testosterone clotted brain has to know that something like that would never happen."

"And you would do what?"

Disco Heat

By

Kate Beckett

"Honey Suckle's proved the value of sisterhood." Detective Nikki Heat roared, in numbers too big to be ignored. "Mr. Big's main dealer, a gambler called "Doc" Davidson, is playing in a mob run game in Little Transylvania, at a place called Vlad's BBQ and Tanning Salon. I'll just go in there and win all of his money. Nothing to it."

"Heat"?" Rook said, with a tear in his voice, "Be careful. I'd like to buy you a coffee one day." Rook took hold of his courage and added. "Perhaps you'll even let me hand it to you."

Nikki rolled her eyes. "I'll check my calendar. I think I may have an opening for you about 1999. We can party like it's 1999." She said sarcastically. "But only my lovers can hand me coffee, Rook."

Rook nodded and sobbed to himself.

Nikki walked into Vlad's in a short, black dress that accentuated her magnificent legs and perfect ass. Her cleavage was spectacular. She shook her head, leaving her hair appealingly messy. She smiled a predatory smile. These men had no idea. She sat down at the no limit table. "Hello, boys, I'm Tatiana Romanov. Deal me in." She said in Russian accented English.

It was obvious that Doc Davidson was interested. His tongue had knocked over a pile of his chips and his eyes had begun to water.

The dealer dealt and Nikki undid one button on her top. A player known only as The Mongol ate his cards.

She looked at her hand. "I vant to go all in." She pushed her chips into the center of the table and undid another button. The others pushed their chips in as well.

"What do you have?" Doc asked, his voice suddenly a soprano.

Nikki undid one more button. "I have a pair." She said breathlessly, then scooped up all the chips. "I ween. Yes?"

The only sound was male chins hitting the table. She cashed in her chips and was gone.

Once back at the precinct, Nikki laughed. "I found out that Davidson was carrying the money he was supposed to use to pay Mr. Big from the drug sales and he lost it all to me. He'll go to Mr. Big to explain. We've got him now."

Rick shook his head. "There is so much you don't understand about nuance, subtext, the subtle weaving of…"

"Gibberish?" Kate finished.

"Let me show you."

Disco Heat

By

Richard Castle

Rook and Heat followed the disconsolate Doc Davidson to a high rise office building in Manhattan. Rook had decided that Heat was…Yes, remarkable. He would definitely go to bed with her after the case was over. He might even take her to dinner, although that was a reward he usually gave only to super models and Hollywood starlets. If only his partners didn't have the disconcerting habit of getting killed…Oh, well. At least he'd make her day.

They followed Davidson to an office on the top floor. As they crept in, they saw Davidson on his knees, wetting his pants, begging for his life. "Please Mr. Big. I'll pay back every cent. Don't kill me." He whined.

Mr. Big pulled out a silenced pistol. "No one fails me. " He said coldly. "And you know the price of failure." Mr. Big turned to a white angora cat who was consuming the last failure. "You know that, don't you, Kitten?"

"Hands up!" Rook and Nikki cried out together. As Mr. Big squeezed the trigger, both police weapons fired, knocking the weapon from Big's hand.

They approached the drug lord. "Eric Vague!" Rook cried. "Reclusive billionaire and so called philanthropist. You're Mr. Big?"

"No." Said Nikki, pulling off Eric Vague's mask. "It's Senator Bracken!"

"And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling detectives."

"The Scooby Doo ending? I don't believe that, Castle. And you let Nikki expose Bracken as the villain. That's sweet."

"It's the least I could do for the woman I love. You are Nikki, you know. And remarkable doesn't even begin to cover it."

"I think I may have an ending for this."

"Me, too."

Disco Heat

By

Richard Castle and Kate Beckett

Nikki and Rook snuggled in the bed in their loft, content to be alone with each other. A litter of bell bottoms, double knit shirts and women's undergarments surrounded the bed. Um, no. The filmy undergarments were all Nikki's.

"Nikki, I love you. I love you, Nikki." He whispered.

"I love you, too, Jameson."

"Now that we're together, we should have a nick name. NikOok? No. JaEat? HeJam? No." Rook frowned, then his eyes lit up. "I know. Nookie! We'll be Nookie."

Nikki rolled her eyes, but then looked at the man she so loved. "Okay. Nookie. But just between us."

"I love you, always." They said together.