Chapter 3

Gazing at me with a countenance brimming with complex emotions, my mom wore a look that I recognized as one she displayed when feeling low, burdened and conflicted. It was evident that she was carefully trying to choose the right words, wanting to begin the conversation in a way that wouldn't inadvertently hurt me.

With a gentle adjustment to her posture, she began by acknowledging the importance of the scholarship I had earned, expressing her gratitude for the opportunities it provides. And while she may not possess an in-depth understanding of the specific situations I have encountered at school, she made it known that she has been observant of my actions.

She mentioned that her attention has been captured on multiple occasions when I retreat to the solitude of my room, engrossed in extensive reading, surpassing my previous levels of dedication. She also shared that she is aware of the immense effort I put into achieving my educational goals and pursuing my deepest aspirations.

However, she made it clear that while she respects my autonomy in choosing my path, she will not support any reckless or irresponsible decisions I may make. With a calm demeanor, she conveyed all of this to me, maintaining direct eye contact throughout our conversation.

As she poured out her heart to me, I sat there listening attentively to her every sentence, realizing her vulnerability. I could perceive the sincerity in her words, and I now realize that I acted impulsively by hastily leaving the school. Instead, I should have swallowed my shame and approached my teacher, regardless of the potential response. I should have acknowledged that even if there were consequences, I should not have run away from them but rather faced them head-on and sought solutions.

My mom's reaction was incredibly telling; her facial expression conveyed a mix of disappointment, concern, and perhaps even a touch of disbelief. It was a face I had never witnessed before, and it was the last expression I had hoped to elicit from her.

In that moment, I may have held the belief that I was invincible, feeling as though no one could surpass me. However, I soon came to realize that life is unpredictable, and our circumstances can change in ways we never anticipated and we must be prepared to face whatever challenges life throws our way.

It might have been possible that my fear stemmed from the concern that I wouldn't be able to fully embrace the advantages of the scholarship, especially since it had already placed a burden on my mom, who had to shoulder the responsibility of paying for my fees and other expenses, albeit not excessively. Or perhaps it was because I wasn't ready to face the potential shame of coming in second place.

I listened attentively to every word she spoke that day, fully aware of the significance of her guidance. I made a conscious decision to internalize her advice and use it to my advantage. Recognizing the value of her words, I planned to meticulously draft and incorporate her wisdom into my life. I understood that her insights were not to be taken lightly, but rather to be embraced and applied in order to maximize my personal growth and success. With great determination, I set out to utilize her guidance as a powerful tool for my own advancement.

With a sense of purpose, I meticulously transcribed her words, capturing the essence of her guidance. Each sentence, each piece of advice, was carefully documented, ensuring that I wouldn't miss a single detail. I recognized the immense value of her wisdom and understood that it could serve as a roadmap for my future endeavors.

I planned to use this drafted guidance as a constant reminder of the path I wanted to follow. It would serve as a source of motivation during challenging times and a compass to keep me focused on my goals. I knew that by incorporating her insights into my daily life, I could unlock my full potential and achieve the success I desired.

This drafted wisdom became more than just words on a page; it became a source of inspiration and a guide for my actions. I would refer to it regularly, reflecting on its teachings and adapting them to my unique circumstances.

As I embarked on my journey, armed with this invaluable guidance, I was determined to make the most of every opportunity and overcome any obstacles that came my way. I knew that by utilizing the wisdom I had received, I could navigate the complexities of life with confidence and purpose.

Back then, I made the most of the holidays by prioritizing relaxation and recharging myself. It was a time for me to take a step back, reflect, and focus on my personal growth. I embraced the opportunity to rejuvenate and let a fresh breath of inspiration and motivation fill me. As the holiday season progressed, I eagerly anticipated the start of the next session, excited to apply what I had learned and embark on new academic adventures.