Snowy fields

{Day 5}

Snow piled down that day. Snow, snow relentless snow, it was as if the clouds were sick; heaps and heaps of snow fell to the ground as if the clouds were coughing them up; clearing their systems...removing the unnecessary.

"Mum, mum look it's my snowman, what do you think?"

Silence.

"Mum?"

The child turned around looking for his mother who had been with him just a few mere minutes ago. His eyes frantically scoured the white landscape in hopes that he would catch a glimpse of his mother.

Sure enough, just a few metres away a woman's shadow appeared. Tall in stature, with long jet-black hair and a fur coat. The boy knew for sure that this was his mother. But what was she doing so far away? Why had she disappeared further down the forest?

The boy unaware and confused, desperately raised his voice in frustration.

"Mum!"

No answer. As if the thought of his mother abandoning him never crossed his mind he yelled once again, this time with double the vigour, with double the emphasis, with double the emotion.

"Mum, I'm over here!" his inner being screamed.

No answer. The shadow of the woman kept on walking through the snowy forest, dismissing the child's request, his plea. Perhaps her ears where blocked? Perhaps the pelting snow which was relentlessly attacking the landscape cancelled out his earnest call? She would never abandon him, would she?

The boy started shaking his head desperately, shaking out all the negative and dreadful thoughts out of his mind. His mother wasn't like that, no she was loving, she cared for him, she was always there for him. He slowly started running after her.

The boy knew this, however even knowing this he grew impatient. His father had left him when young, his mother was everything that he had. He had an over-the-top attachment to his mother, perhaps in fear that one day she might leave him as well.

After all everyone called him the freak child, the horror child, the child of bad luck. All these negative comments and titles were always bestowed upon the young child. Things a mere child was never supposed to hear, venomous words that would usually engrave themselves in the soul of someone.

These mean words, these horrible statements, he didn't enjoy them in fact he hated them very much, he hated everything however he endured, after all he always had his mother.

As he contemplated on what to do the shadowy figure of his mother's back travelled further into the distance.

The boy who was previously anxious, become scared. He desperately wanted his mother to come and grab him and embrace him with her warm arms. The further away she went, the more terrified he became. What should he do?

Should he stop yelling and completely focus on chasing after his mother? Or should he stop chasing after her and continuously yell? Or maybe should he go back to the snowman and patiently wait for his mother to return?

The boy simply didn't know. Every second he wasted thinking, the distance between him and the woman increased.

Unsure what to do the boy just yelled. Yelled with all his heart and soul, pushing his young vocal cords to the maximum until his vocal cords became raw. Surely, that should be enough he thought, mother should surely hear his voice now.

No instead of stopping, instead of turning around the shadow got a little further away. Whilst the child had bellowed his lungs out to the core she had gained even more distance. She was now but a mere spec in a snow filled forest.

All attempts now were futile. There was no point. His voice hadn't been heard. She was gone.

Did his mother abandon him? Or could she really not hear his voice through the snowy night? The child didn't know. All he did know was that she was no longer there.

The child just stood there as still as a statue. Motionless, still...unmoving. He stayed like that in the snow for a while, absorbed in the atmosphere.

Little by little, small teardrops started dripping down his eyes. Before long they became interconnected making a small stream which flowed down the slippery surface of his face.

He wasn't crying, no he definitely wasn't crying.

That cold night a child was left alone. All by himself. With no one.

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What was that?

I opened my eyes to be greeted to a sweating body, sweat was travelling everywhere. In my eyes, on my legs, on my back geez there was even a sweat puddle on the floor. However, I didn't care for any of that, after all that was not important. All of the sweaty fiasco was irrelevant.

Was that a dream, but it felt so real it couldn't be a dream; surely not. Every little thing, every little detail that I experienced felt so real as if it actually happened. But I couldn't remember any of these events happening to me.

Was this a part of my previous life, a memory segment? I simply didn't know, however there was something I did know. Whatever it was whether: a dream, an illusion or a figment of my past it made me feel sad. It made me feel hurt, my heart was wrenched, crushed, slammed to the ground. It made me feel sick and queasy as if a slippery eel had found a mystical way to trickle down my throat.

Trying to distract my mind from the stressful scene that I'd just witnessed I decided to instead focus on my surrounding.

Blink. Blink.

Wait a minute, is that a string. In front of my eyes, I could see multiple strings stranded about it my humble abode. They moved or wriggled carelessly around my house in all different shades and colours, and strangely enough no matter how many of them there were they never made contact with each other.

This must be the atmospheric mana that the system was talking about. After one day of meditation, I can already see it. Does that mean I'm a mana master already! My new title should be "the Cicada that is loved by mana", I shouted out trying to make a joke.

[Is the host feeling alright?]

So, the system noticed. I tried making one of my many whimsical jokes, but the mood just didn't feel right. After all that I'd experienced today it seemed that I came out quite depressed.

"Yeah, I'm alright system, I'm alright" I repeated, trying to reassure myself as well that I was feeling okay.

Let's get my mind out of this negative loop. I need a positive mantra. Oppais are good, oppais give you health. Repeat after me oppais are good, oppais give you health. There let's get back to business.

So, I can see mana now that's amazing progress. I'm definitely a prodigy student.

Now that I can view the mana I wonder if I can do the interweaving thing the system was talking about.

Out of curiosity I reached my hand out towards the nearest sting, using my cicada claw I try to touch the string. Phew. My claw goes straight through the mana string as if it were in a ghost like state. Looks like I can't physically touch the strings, I've got a while to go, I guess.

So, I can see but I can't touch, just like all the sexy girls in the universe. I can only watch from a distance, how sad.

YAHAHAHA!

I cannot give up; I'll meditate twice as hard so that I can touch mana the day after tomorrow and then one day I shall also touch female breasts as well. Yes, I shall conquer all the females in this world. I can see my bright future already!

Dang it, why is my cicada nose bleeding!

After cleaning up my nose bleed, I continued to meditate for the rest of the day.

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{Day 6}

Today I spent my whole day meditating yet again.

No crazy memory trip happened today just another normal day.

:)