Chapter Five

CHAPTER FIVE

Jesse

It's the nightmare that wakes me up.

Sweating, my body shaking, I stare up at the wooden ceiling, the sounds of heavy breathing from the other boys in the barrack, a strange kind of assurance. I'm at the camp. Not inside that weird chamber I was standing in just seconds ago.

Mouth dry, I get to my feet and head to the small table on the side to get some water. However, when I pick up the jug, it is empty. Shaking my head in annoyance, I put it down grab my cup, and head outside to where the water coolers are located. The communal water coolers are a short distance from the barracks, and I forgo my jacket, just putting on my shoes.

I never had nightmares before. Not these ones. At least I don't think so. I used to have trouble sleeping when I was a kid, but I don't remember why. I don't even know why these nightmares reminded me of my childhood insomnia.

Despite the cold, I splash some water on my face, feeling a heavy sensation in my chest.

Looking toward the forest, in the direction o the bridge that connects the islands, I murmur, softly, "Three weeks, huh? Isn't it supposed to get easier every day?"

But each day without Taylor is like a sharp twisting sensation in my chest.

When I broke up with my first girlfriend, Rachel, because she chose to leave the islands, I had been upset but I never remember feeling this raw. It's like I've lost a piece of myself. There was a time, I would sneak over that bridge and surprise her with late night dates. It was obvious to me, from our very first meeting, that Taylor didn't trust easily, and she especially distrusted guys. Perhaps that was why each kiss tasted just a little bit sweeter and each time she leaned against me, letting me play with her hair, my heart sped up like a jackhammer. Earning her trust had been a gift. And then I had shattered it. 

She was upset, but she still came to my rescue when Rachel kidnapped me. She risked it all to get me back, and never once blamed for any bit of suffering that my kidnapping caused her. She never held me responsible for being forced to break the seal on her powers, which led to her months-long imprisonment. She never uttered a word of blame when her training left her bleeding and raw. But I blamed myself. And I couldn't help but fall even deeper in love with her. 

I sit down on the bench next to the water cooler, my thoughts heavy.

These nightmares began after Taylor left. Not every dream is a nightmare. Sometimes I dream of Taylor, laying in a small single bed, her expression glum. She often has my ring with her, holding it in her hand. But every time I dream of her, she looks at me near the end, and I see a surprised expression on her face. However, the moment she opens her mouth to say something, the dream ends. 

And then the nightmare begins, a twisted dream of a world I don't know, of a battleground with the stench of blood heavy in the air. The warriors around me have fierce expressions on their faces while I watch. And in the distance, there is something terrible watching me and smiling.

With each nightmare being pretty much the same, the only difference is that each one has me moving a little bit closer to that frightening creature.

I pour myself some more water, my heart beating rapidly at the memory. 

Then there is the other dream.

The dream about the vaults.

"Jesse?"

The surprised voice has me looking up, and I blink when I see Dr. Brown standing a few feet from me.

She approaches me, "Are you alright? You don't look so good."

I shake my head, wondering what she's doing out at this time of night, "I just came for some water."

She eyes me, and I realize that my shirt is wet from where I splashed water on it.

"Why are you drenched?"

I shrug, trying to sound nonchalant, "I had a nightmare. Needed to wake myself up."

It's not an excuse or a lie, but the way Dr. Brown's eyes turn sharp at my words has me a little bothered, "What kind of dream?"

"Um," I stare at her, feeling a little confused. "What?"

"What did you see?"

I hesitate, feeling how weird of a turn the conversation just took, "I'd rather not talk about it."

She studies me briefly, her brows knitted together. It's almost as if something is bothering her. However, to my relief, she relents, "Alright. Why don't you go back to your barrack?"

I nod, getting to my feet. Before I can leave, however, I glance at her, "Dr. Brown?"

"Yes?"

"Has anyone heard from Taylor? How is she doing?"

I see her lips twist downward as if in unhappiness, "I don't know, Jesse. Nobody has been in contact with her. All I know is that she is safe."

I wet my lips, looking away, a pang in my heart, my voice soft, "I guess that's what's more important."

"We all want her to be safe, Jesse, but she'll come back."

I don't know whether to believe those words or not, but I want to. Sometimes, it's easier for me to lose myself to the despair that stems from the belief that I might never see Taylor again.

I just nod and begin to walk back to my barrack. As I pass Dr. Brown, I see her stiffen and suddenly her hand shoots out and grabs me by the upper arm.

"What?!" I nearly jumped in surprise, only to see her staring at me with a strange expression on her face.

"What have you done?"

"What?" I blink, a little worried now at the way she's gripping my upper arm. "Let go!"

She doesn't, repeating, "What have you done, Jesse?"

"What are you talking about?!" I wrench my arm away from her, feeling uneasy.

She looks worried, "You're - You-"

She's struggling to say something, but the words don't seem to come out.

Finally, she takes a step back, her voice odd, "Go."

Shooting her one last glance, I hurry away. My hand reaches for the ring on the chain that has always been around my neck since I could remember, but it's not there anymore. It's somewhere far away with the girl I love.

As I reach my barrack, it occurs to me that these strange dreams and nightmares all began after Taylor left. My hand on the door handle, I hesitate. Why was Dr. Brown so curious about my dreams?

There's a strange niggling sensation in the back of my head, a thought that I should remember but I can't seem to grasp. Shaking my head, I walk inside and head to bed. I'm pretty much out when my head hits the pillow.

Taylor is looking worried.

I watch her, wanting to say something. 

I know this is a dream. It seems both real and unreal at the same time. Her surroundings are vaguely familiar.

We're by the stream, I suddenly realize.

She looks over her shoulder when I take a step towards her. 

Her eyes widen, and I feel our surroundings begin to blur, but this time, she reaches out and grabs my wrist, "No!"

It all settles, the sound of water reaching my ears again, the breeze once again, picking up.

She stares at me, "I caught you."

Her smile is a little gleeful, and I can't help but smile in response, "You look well. But then again, you're a figment of my imagination, so maybe I want you to look well."

She gives me an odd look, "You say the weirdest things sometimes. You don't look so good."

Her touch is warm and I don't want to let go of her hand, "I can't sleep. I miss you all the time."

"Aw," she grins at me, teasingly, "are you going to cry now?"

I narrow my eyes at her, "Maybe I will."

The panicked expression on her face is so familiar and it makes me chuckle, "I do miss you though."

Her expression softens, "I miss you, too. A lot. I miss everyone."

She takes out the silver chain from under her shirt, "I'm glad you gave me this. It's like I have a part of you wherever I go."

Her voice is so lonely that I wrap my arms around her, "I'm sorry, Taylor."

Instead of accepting my hug, she shoves me away, a panicked expression on her face, "What the heck?!"

"Taylor?" Alarmed, I look at her. "What is it?"

"It's - " She looks shocked, rubbing her upper arms. 

"Tay-"

Before I can approach her again, I find my eyes flying open. I stare up at the ceiling, my breathing shallow, a fine sheen of sweat on my forehead. I roll over and wince as my body aches for some reason. I'm alone in the barrack. What time is it?

I get to my feet and am about to head to the toilet when there's a knock on the door. It's one of the counselors, Roxanne.

"Jesse? The Director wants to see you." 

Her brows furrow at the sight of my pajamas, "Change before you go. I'll wait outside."

"Ah, I'll go by myself," I assure her. "It's fine."

"Alright then," she nods. "Don't be late. You have ten minutes."

It takes me half that amount of time to wash up and throw on some clothes before I head over to the Director's office. However, when I walk in, she has a grim expression on her face. 

"Director Yearwood," I meet her gaze. "You wanted to see me?"

"Take a seat, Jesse," she rounds her impressive-looking desk to sit behind it. "I want to ask you how you've been feeling lately."

"What?" I give her a wary glance. "Same as always, I guess."

"Has anything changed recently?" Her questions seems pointed, as if leading to somewhere.

"No, not since Taylor left."

She falls silent, and then murmurs, "Has there been any contact with your parents?"

I blink, slowly, "Here and there. Why are you asking all these questions?"

She looks troubled for some reason, her fingers tapping against the desk in a somewhat agitated manner. Finally, she murmurs, "I would like you to begin seeing Dr. Brown."

My brows knit together, "The shrink? Why? There's nothing wrong with me."

She presses her lips together into a thin line, "It's not a request, Jesse. You will have sessions twice a week. You've been through a lot, and it's to help you cope."

"I'm coping just fine-"

"You've been having nightmares."

Her voice is abrupt, and I go still.

"This is for your own good. Now get to your class. Dr. Brown will send you a message about your first session today."

Why is everyone acting so strange?!

I may not have the answer to that, but I do know that something else is going on.

It's just frustrating that I don't know what it is.