5 Remorse and Shame

It had been a quiet ride throughout until Kiara halted the car in front of Ayden's house. Ayden had expected Kiara to keep probing him for getting everything out of his mouth that he didn't want to say but she hadn't asked him a thing.

For some odd reason, the soft music that had been playing in the car felt noisy and her silence, uneasy.

"Shit. I am so sorry," he blurted out a quick apology for colliding with her. He was a bit too absent-minded to notice that she had already reached to his side when he stepped out and turned around. He apologetically looked at her fallen figure.

"Give me your hand." He stretched out his hand, bending a little. As he pulled her up, he was filled with deep shame. What was he doing?

"Ah, it's okay." Her hand quickly tried rubbing her back but she had to take it off right at that moment. 'Seems like a strain.' She thought to herself before gazing at him. Her smile never left her face. It might have momentarily, but she was quick enough to conceal her pain.

Ayden could see how okay it was. "Why do I have to end up hurting people in some way or the other?" His eyes shone with a thin layer of tears in them. "I am really sorry, Kiara. I didn't mean to hurt you." His lips quivered as he began to apologize again and that was when his hand tremors were back as well. He was so consumed by the guilt that he didn't realize that he was letting Kiara see what he probably was going to regret later.

Kiara was stunned to witness the vulnerable Ayden. She had no clue what was wrong with him but something… terribly was. Ignoring her awfully aching back, she moved a step closer to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder as she whispered, "Hey. It's okay. I am fine."

Her voice was so soft and she sounded so compassionate that he didn't even know when he put his arms around her.

The moment his hands touched her back, she pressed her lips together to not let the insane pain that was shooting inside her find a voice. His hold just got tighter… so much that it began to suffocate her along with the pain… that was radiating from her back into her legs. Squeezing her eyes shut, she struggled hard not to leave him any hint that the hug… was killing her.

She pushed herself more to bear the pain and gently rubbed his back. Somewhere, she felt that he desperately needed that hug. She didn't have the heart to tell him to back off for the sake of the pain that it was causing her.

"It's going to be okay." She regretted opening her mouth right at the next instant. Her voice betrayed her, giving away the amount of severe pain that she was in.

He stilled for a moment before he hastily pulled himself back, while he held on to her hands. "Shit." He was terrified upon watching her pained expression. If she was hurting that much even when he no longer was pressing her back, then he couldn't imagine how much it must have hurt her when he had hugged her. "I am sorry." He hung his head down in shame, bowed beneath the burden of his ridiculous mistakes.

He was so deep in his woes that he didn't even hear her, repeating that she was okay. It wasn't until she squeezed his hands, that he was snapped out of his zone.

"Stop doing that to yourself. I admit having got a bit hurt but you did not do it intentionally, so it's okay. It really is. I think you should take some rest." Kiara blinked, assuring him that he didn't have to blame himself.

"Are you going to be fine?" he asked, letting go of her hands.

She readily nodded and got inside her car. Waving bye at him, she waited until he was in his home.

"Ah," she winced in pain as she tried leaning back. Her pretense ended once he was out of her sight. "What is wrong with you, Ayden?" Her mind couldn't stop thinking about him.

She hadn't seen him that distressed earlier. Having known him for two years, she could just see something had gone terribly wrong with him. Could it be about Irene? She wondered.

"I wish I could be of some help," she muttered while getting her hands on the steering. She made her way toward the hospital near her home. Her back needed to be checked, she knew.

"We need to talk."

Ayden heard Grace as soon as he stepped in. She was sitting on the couch. Perhaps, was waiting for him, he concluded.

He could tell from her tone that she knew about his and Irene's breakup. "Later, Oddball." He was mentally too exhausted to have a conversation.

"Oh… later? Why? You most certainly didn't think before doing that sick thing that I still can't believe that you actually did. Why do you need time now, Bro? "

"Don't talk about it if you don't know about it," Ayden warned. He hadn't been getting along too well with his sister lately and at that particular night… he really did want to keep away from her to avoid all sorts of arguments for they had their cousins staying with them for a week.

Grace darted a glare at him. How did he seem all cool after doing what he did? She was infuriated and not getting to confront him made her madder. She was about to rant when she heard the sound of footsteps coming from the kitchen.

"What's up, guys?"

"Nothing, Ryan. Why haven't you slept yet?" Ayden smiled at his thirteen-year-old cousin. "Do you need anything?"

"I was hungry so I came to have some ice-cream." Ryan grinned, as he brought his hands that were behind his back at the front and showed the bowl of the ice-cream that he was carrying.

"Do you want me to make something for you to eat?" Grace offered but Ryan denied.

"Good night," Ayden said and went straight to his room without waiting for a reply.