Had We Been in Control of Memories

As cold breezes caressed her skin, she decided to get back to her room. On her way, she called Melisssa to check up on her. Melissa was staying back with her friend because her family wasn't in town. Irene hung up after Melissa's reminder of locking the home properly.

After such a stressful day, truth to be told, she did not want to stay alone but destiny seemed to be again in the mood of toying with her for it left her in the company of her detested companion... silence… to deal with the aftermath of the choices she made and the decisions she took.

Instead of returning to her room, she decided to spend her night in the living room, switching on the television. Though her mind was not interested in watching any show, a random noisy chatter seemed better than the silence that was threatening to gobble her up.

They had a small bed in the living room. Making herself comfortable on it, she grabbed the remote of the television, she switched it on and just left it that way, without even bothering to check out what was coming over the channel.

'Take my hand,

Take my whole life too,

For I can't help,

Falling in love with you."

She turned around on her stomach, burying her face in the pillow as that song hit her ears. It was a familiar song. How could she forget that? It was awful the way suddenly everything decided to remind her of the beautiful time she had spent with Ayden.

<>

"Do you know how hard it was not to fall for you?"

Irene shrugged her shoulders, feigning that she was oblivious to what he was referring to.

"Really?" He walked into the kitchen where she was preparing tea for him. Blocking her by keeping both hands on the kitchen slab, he rested his chin on her left shoulder. "You want me to believe that you did not know that I was falling for you, hmm?"

"Well, I was just learning Chemistry from you because you were good at it and me, awful. I had no clue that your mind was busy focusing on some other chemistry." She slightly tilted her head, giving him a quizzical look.

"Ah, I see. Well, I don't think I have taught you enough. Let me get back to teaching you more of it."

Her jaw dropped as his face inched closer. She quickly placed her palm on his chest. "Ayden. Tea." She pushed him a little and turned off the stove.

She giggled at his protruded lips, expressing the agony of his missed chance and the missed kiss.

While they sat together, savoring tea, they looked back at the time that had brought them closer. The beautiful time it was!

"It has been quite a while since we danced, no? Shall we?"

Before he could agree or disagree, she had already stood up with her hand forwarded toward him. Taking her hand in his delicate yet firm hold, he left his chair.

His hand slid down, around her waist. Her hands rested on his chest. He started moving softly, so did she, in sync with him. Her eyes filled with adoration for him, seeing which left him overwhelmed.

'Take my hand,

Take my whole life too,

For I can't help,

Falling in love with you."

She continued moving along, letting her head fall on his chest. He did not sing often but she absolutely loved whenever he did.

"I am just so fortunate to have met you and got a chance to know you this intimately, Irene."

<>

Why was it that every pleasant memory that she shared with Ayden decided to come to her at the time she did not want to remember?

Was it necessary to always make everything so hard for her?

She furiously pushed the pillow away, slipped her feet in her slippers and dashed inside the kitchen.

She searched for noodles to make and once she found them, she ended up cooking plenty of them. Pouring them in a huge bowl, she went back to her living room.

As an attempt to shut her overworking brain, she decided to stuff her mouth until she could stop thinking about Ayden.

That evening, she ate like she never did. The frustration, the disappointment, the failure brought out someone within her she did not know existed.

She finished the bowl but her mind had not been able to kick out Ayden's thoughts. She walked back into the kitchen again. It was one of those rare times when she did not bother cleaning the bowl.

She got her hands inside the refrigerator. Pulling out all the ice-cream cups, she kept them on the kitchen slab before she lifted herself to sit over it.

She opened each one by one after finishing the first one. She did not stop. Even after having seven of them, she did not stop. It almost seemed like she was torturing herself for not being able to get Ayden off her mind.

She paused for a moment to question herself about what she was doing but it was gone within moments when Ayden's face flashed before her eyes again.

It wasn't until a point where her hand was putting spoon after spoon, full of ice-cream, in her mouth and a stream of tears flowing through her eyes, she realized that nothing was going to lessen her pain. She kept aside everything and slumped down to the floor.

Memories do not understand a bit about timing. They just do not understand that they are not supposed to visit when they do. Had we been in control of them, things would have been a lot easier in life.