Had Letting Go Been That Easy...

Her mouth fell wide open. A hundred pastries? How could one possibly eat them? "You are kidding me, right?"

"I am not. Look at my face," he pointed his finger toward his face, "do I look like I am kidding you?"

Irene quite did not know if she was supposed to laugh or take him seriously. She could not make out anything from his face. "Um, okay. I will get you a hundred of them."

The way his face glowed in happiness forced her to believe that he was absolutely serious about the pastries. She tried for a smile but failed, because of his weird being. Leaving would be the best option, she thought but as soon as she stood up, she had to sit back, wincing in pain.

"Ah. Can you not walk?" He immediately sat beside her, visibly concerned.

"Nah. I am okay. I can -"

"But not three kilometers." He completed her sentence. "We have to think of a way to get you home."

His hand that went again in his hair brought her annoyance back but she held it inside. On the other hand, she was equally surprised as she heard him. He seemed to be knowing everything.

One of the things that she had always wished Ayden had.

Ayden had most of the times failed to understand what she in reality meant. He would end up taking her words literally and completely missing out on what she wanted to convey.

He never got that when she told him that she was not mad at him… she was actually mad at him.

He never got that when she told him that she was not upset after he did something awful… she was actually upset with him.

He never got that when she told him that she did not mind him not getting any gifts for her… she actually wished to get some. Not any expensive gifts. Not any materialistic things. Maybe just a letter or a simple drawing. Something with his personal touch.

"It is okay. I will manage."

He narrowed his gaze at her and lightly hit his fist on her head. "I haven't touched you with my 'dirty hand', okay? See, I have clenched my fist and… why do you lie so much? Do you do it on a regular basis? I mean, it is evident that you cannot walk. How are you going to manage?"

Her eyes first looked up at her head before they stopped at him. "How dare you do that?"

"As I said, it is so easy to get you annoyed. Hahaha."

"Okay. I have a friend who stays in this area. I can try calling him up and see if he can lend his bike to me. Give me your phone, can you?"

She nodded, got her phone out of her T-shirt's pocket and handed it to him.

"Didn't you say you are bad with numbers?"

"For some odd reasons, I remember his."

He dialed his friend's number. His friend did not pick up the call.

He rose on his feet. "As expected. I am sure… he is sleeping. His home is just five minutes away from here. You wait here. I will come back in a while."

"Listen… you really don't have to -"

"Wait for me. I'll be back soon."

Before Irene could refuse further, he already made his way toward his friend's home. Watching his retreating back disappearing in the distance, she wondered what she was even doing.

Since when had she begun trusting strangers?

Though he seemed genuinely nice, was that enough? She did not know. People could be really well at pretending someone their personality was far from. Who knew it better than her?

Also, did Ayden also not fall in the same category?

He was a different person when she met him and he was a different person when she got into a relationship with him.

He was different as a friend and he was different as a boyfriend.

Ayden had been a wonderful, wonderful friend to her and even after he became her boyfriend, things were pretty smooth for a while. It was only after quite a long time, real issues started creating distance between them but despite them, they had continued sticking to each other.

Letting go was hard because she had spent some of the really beautiful moments of her life with him.

<>

"Life has been different for good ever since you appeared in it, Irene and let me admit it that it is quite insane how good you make me feel about myself… Trust me, you are one of those few people who make me feel that I am worthy enough to be alive. I can't imagine a day without you, Irene. You have changed everything for me. I look forward to every day now which I did not quite often do. I just do not know what I would do without you."

Her both hands were in his gentle hold and his eyes poured into hers as he confessed what he had been trying to, for months. He was not too good when it came to verbally express his love and affection toward anyone.

"If not me… it would have been someone else. Kiara, perhaps? I really think that she likes you very much." She let out a small laugh on seeing his reaction to the comment she had just made.

"It is nothing of that sort. For me, it is always you and it will always be you. Only you."

She almost instantly regretted saying that because she hated the way it affected him. She was just kidding but he had taken it seriously. She did not drag it but she truly believed that Kiara did like Ayden. She had seen him secretly staring at him quite often than what she would call casual.

She caressed his knuckles with her thumb, conveying her apology with her eyes without uttering a word.

He lingered his lips on the back of her palm, acknowledging the unsaid.

What a beautiful relationship she had got! It had been just two months since they started dating and they had been... amazing two months.

Who had thought that someone who had painted her black… even if accidentally… would be the one to whom she would be calling her boyfriend someday?

"I love you, Ayden."

"I love you more."

<>

She sat there clasping her palms together.

Letting go was not going to be easy.

Forgetting Ayden was not going to be easy either.

She had an incredible amount of memories with Ayden. They had been together for three years after all. Good moments, bad moments, beautiful moments, awful moments… She had all of them with him.

One of her major flaws was… she was awful at letting go. It just was not something she was good at doing.

She wondered if it was really her fault.

Had letting go been that easy, people would not have taken out blades, cut their skins open and… given in to the deadly thoughts.