i love u

-2013-

Zhang Zihao left the court after the final whistle blew. It was a tough and exhausting match, but he enjoyed it. He loves basketball more than anything else, and he loves to play it with his friends.

But there is one thing he loves more than that. One person who makes his heart beat faster and makes his face blush with embarrassment. One person who makes him feel happy and pain at the same time.

Lu Yong.

His close friend since childhood. His friend who shares everything with him. His friend who knows nothing about his true feelings.

Zhang Zihao sees Lu Yong standing at the entrance of the court and wiping his sweat with a handkerchief. He sees how his black hair shines under the sun. He sees how his brown eyes smile with kindness. He sees how his pink lips curve with affection. He emits hormones that make almost all the forests want to faint.

Zhang Zihao feels a throb in his chest. He feels a desire to approach him. He feels a desire to hide him away and declare his ownership. He just wants to say one word that expresses everything in his heart.

'I love you.'

But he knows he can't do that. He knows that Lu Yong doesn't feel the same. He knows that Lu Yong loves girls, and that he is dating one of them already. He knows that Lu Yong will run away from him and hate him if he knows about his feelings. He knows that Lu Yong will cut off his relationship with him and leave him alone.

So Zhang Zihao decided a long time ago to hide his feelings and pretend to be friends. He decided to be happy just by seeing Lu Yong and talking to him and laughing with him. He decided to settle for being just a friend to Lu Yong, even if that kills him.

Zhang Zihao walks quickly towards Lu Yong and smiles artificially. He tries to forget what he feels and act naturally.

" Lu Yong. How are you?" Zhang Zihao says with a slightly trembling voice.

" I'm fine. what about you do fill tired ?" Lu Yong says with a cheerful voice.

"No I'm fine . It was a great match, wasn't it?" Zhang Zihao says as he look at Lu Yong's deep eyes 

"Yes, it was a fun match. You are a skilled player, xiao zi I'm proud of you." Lu Yong says as he puts his hand on Zhang Zihao's shoulder with affection.

Zhang Zihao feels a shiver run through his body. He feels a warmth fill his heart. He feels a desire to cry.

"Thank you, Lu Yong. Don't forget that you are my teacher. I owe you all this." Zhang Zihao says as he tries to look cheerful.

"Yes, indeed. xiao zi is really the best student I ever had." Lu Yong says as he hugs Zhang Zihao.

"I love you." Zhang Zihao says to himself as he hugs Lu Yong.

But he doesn't say it out loud. He can't do that. He shouldn't do that.

He chooses silence. He chooses lying. He chooses suffering.

Lu Yong sees Zhang Zihao's red face as he breaks the hug. He tries to act cool. He tries to look his best. It was obvious that he was in love. Even a fool could see that. He asks him about it with curiosity and encouragement.

"Come on, Tell me who is the girl that you love?" Lu Yong says as he smiles with affection. But what he hears is Zhang Zihao's silence.

He looks at him with glowing and complicated eyes. He wants to tell him the truth, but he fears his reaction. He wants to tell him that he loves him, but he fears losing him. He wants to tell him that his target is a boy, but he fears his hatred.

Lu Yong jokes and asks him "What, is it a boy?" He laughs loudly and then continues: "Don't be afraid, Zhang Zihao. I won't judge you. I'm your friend, and I accept you as you are. Hahaha."

Zhang Zhihuo's heart stopped at the first sentence. I think his mask fell and his command was exposed to his soul when he heard Le Young's laugh.

How not to be afraid is the one who knows most about Lu Young and knows how much Shuwad hatred is something worthwhile in Lu's family.

He doesn't need to tell him his feelings. All he needs is to tell Le Young that his goal is a boy, and he's going to break his relationship with him forever.

Zhang Zihao feels tears fill his eyes. He feels sad and regretful. He feels a desire to run away.

"I love you, Lu Yong. I'm not interested in a girl, I'm interested in you." Zhang Zihao wanted to scream that with force. He wanted to tell him everything in his heart.

But he didn't do it. He couldn't say it out loud. He can't do that. He shouldn't do that. So all that came out of his mouth was "I'm leaving."

He chooses silence. He chooses lying. He chooses suffering.

some of there friend interrupts them and says that the dean needs the both of them . "Lu Yong, stop joking. I don't have the energy for that today. Come on, let's go. The dean is waiting for us."

He takes Zha's hand and pulls him hard. He tries to get away from the subject as much as possible. He tries to forget what happened. He tries to forget what he feels.