Silent Night

Lying in his bed covered in his silk sheets, I wondered about how things could not make sense anymore. I looked over through the darkness at Dylan, who was sleeping peacefully on the long couch. He agreed to give me space while I tried to figure things out but, it was too late, and I was feeling left in the cold and dark. I picked up my phone from the nightstand, knowing that I was not getting much sleep tonight by any chance.

Dylan moved in his sleep, making me turns my eyes to him, but he continues his deep slumber. I missed Carol badly. I even contemplated if I wanted to let all my worries out on her. I felt like I was drowning in my pettiness and sorrow of the life choices that I was making and my poor judgment of character.

I picked her contact card on my phone as I thought of every possible reason and way to talk to her so I could feel less alone. I sat on my bed and walked towards the washroom.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, staring at this foolish woman who was madly in love with a man who doesn't care about her and manipulated her to be everything that he wants, but never returned anything. She didn't quite feel well as her mind and body felt weak at the same time.

She sat on the edge of the bathtub as she felt her head dizzy. She wanted to call out to Dylan, but her voice felt stuck in her throat. She didn't know what was going on with her. Before she could do anything, she collapsed on the bathroom floor as her eyes blacked out.

I open, slowly as I felt a wet cloth touching my face. "Megan, are you okay?" my eyes fell on Kizzy, who sat beside my bed, she was worried for me. Dylan was standing just beside me, looking over at my concern for me was reflecting over his face. I tried to sit up as the consciousness and the memories before I blacked out flashed inside my head.

"Umm... What happened? I remember standing in the washroom," I said as I looked at all. Both of them, confused. Kizzy immediately pushed me down by my shoulders and said, "Easy there! You are still weak. You should get some sleep."

"Yeah, Kizzy is right. I think your blood pressure tanked all of a sudden, so you tripped. I am so glad you were here and not at your place alone," Dylan said as he smiled at me. I wondered what made me feel so weak from inside would have been the love that I was feeling for him. Kizzy stood up and made way for Dylan to come closer to me.

He sat beside me with a smile, "Why are you staring at me like you seeing me for the first time?" Kizzy smiled and left the room. I could say she was blushing a little seeing us get cozy. "You can go back to being you now, Dylan! She is gone!" I said, sarcasm trailing off in my tone, which I knew he will notice without fail.

"What do you mean, Meg? You know I still care for you. I love you but not just in the same way as everyone would expect," his words were calmer, but their effect on me was like a storm building inside of me. "I think I should sleep. I am sorry for disturbing you, Dyl!" I said as I turned on my side to face my back to him.

Without a word, Dylan slides in next to me and hugs me tightly. "What are you doing?" I asked as I turned to face him. It felt oddly comforting, and I could smell him even clearly this time, which made me want to make love to him strongly. "I am just being there for you. I know I have hurt you a lot, and I can't help staying away from you either. Only one woman before you made me feel this conflicted before, and she is not even here anymore. So forgive me for this."

He said as he cuddled close to me, holding me to his chest like a baby. I could resist but hug him tightly as a teardrop trickled down my eyes falling through the side of my face to his chest. He looked down at me, worried, "Are you crying?" he asked, lifting his head to see my face more clearly.

"No, I am washing my eyes for dirt," Dylan chuckled at my another sarcastic hit on him. He took me in a closer embrace as he buried his face in my neck, and my lips lingered over his shoulder. 'I loved him, and it just kept leaping over my body beyond my control.

I felt him nibbling on my skin slowly, leaving wet kisses all over my neck. I looked at his face again. My eyes pleading him to stop. But his eyes kept drifting from my eyes to my lips which made me long for his lips beyond my control. "Please, Dyl! No! We shouldn't," I said with a slight moan as I could feel him throbbing in his pants as he breathed heavily close to my mouth.

My lips parted as if it had a mind of their own, and I inched forward as I pressed my body against his even though I verbally expressed that I don't want him. He took my hand and pinned me down with, which I was pushing him a little.

Our lips finally caught each other as he mounted over him, making me forget all that I thought I will not do. "Meg, I am sorry! I wish I could say I love you right now, I want to, but I can't," he said as he breathes deeply. My heartfelt a strange swell as I heard his words.

We continued to kiss as I felt his hands all over my body. "I love you, Dylan!" I said this time my voice firmer and louder to which he replied with a kiss that makes me let out a loud moan into his mouth. He ran his hand over my head and kissed my forehead as he looked into my eyes.

I don't know what I saw, but I couldn't be mistaken to this extent that I can say that was just lust. He quickly took me out of my nightdress as he slid himself out of his and hugged me like he was finally accepting to himself that he did love me and never realized it.

"Meg! Will you marry me?" he asked as he was about to penetrate me. I looked at his face, surprised. I couldn't fathom the depth of those words and how easily he blurted them out. I couldn't understand how he could say that without any hesitation.

"Okay, we will talk about it," he said as he penetrated me, making me clutch on to him and forget my conflicting thought about his weird question. As we got more and more engulfed in the passion for each other, my heart screamed that I want him, no matter what. "Yes, Dylan! I will!" I said, holding his face in my hands. He kissed me even more passionately as he heard my response.

I had no idea what kind of deal I just signed with my words, but I knew I was fucked, literally and figuratively.