Introduction

Everyday we see the elements. Whether we choose to see them or look completely through them, they're there. We are made up of elements, Carbon, Hydrogen, Potassium. But amongst those discovered by men, are also those that are a mystery. We are all walking and talking mysteries. Whether discover it now or later, we are mysteries.

Everyday we see people that are elements. Elements of mystery. We hold the keys to life in our palms yet no one can figure out the meaning to life. Many have speculated and quite frankly, they are all wrong. The meaning of life can not be discovered by mankind. It is only meant to raise a question.

So why do we live if there is no meaning to life? Why do we exist only to be told we have no point of existing? I don't know. And I don't wish to know because people who know the answers to things get asked a lot of questions. Questions only lead to answers that hurt people who though they asked for it.

Yes, I am very philosophical. And yes, I live inside my thoughts to an extreme that is not healthy in the slightest measure. But what have I learned? Oh, so much more than meats the eye of the average person walking down the streets of Portland, Oregon. So much more.

That's all I want from life, so much more. There is a whole world out there waiting for me, I just have to take that first step. But that step. Oh, that measly little first step. How it creeps up on you. You think you're prepared, but you're not. You never are, and you most certainly won't be by the time you take it. Which begs me to raise the question, why call it a first step, when in all reality it is a first push? It surely isn't a choice. If it were I wouldn't be standing here looking in front of my nightmare.

Have you ever looked your nightmare in the face. For most of you I can already tell you that you haven't. You're too afraid. And I say that with the most non-existent kindness in my heart. I am afraid. You are afraid. Great! We have struck a deal. No? We haven't? You're still making me pursue your future instead of my own? Hmm. Shame really. I could be of some importance in the future should you let me lead my own path but you'd rather me follow your predestined one that involves my own forfeit of dreams. Oh, but don't worry. I would be more than happy to do whatever it may be that you have in store for me.

Did you think I was serious? Absolutely not! I will not set foot inside those doors or so help me I will rip you apart! Too much? So be it, you deserve it. You chose this for yourself as soon as you decided that raising your daughter to be your perfect little angle of society was a good idea.

I choose my place, not you. I choose my husband, if any, not you. I choose my life and what I pursue, not you. Try as you may, but I will not stand for this. I simply will not, can not, and refuse to. I bid you good day Mother and Father. I do. May you live long and happy, grandchildren less lives.