9-God of Peace

"Hearing how you're reacting, I highly doubt your mind was pure whilst looking at-" Zoticus yelped as he finished his sentence. Then, the noises behind the curtains ceased. After a while, he spoke again. "I'm fine, she bit me again."

I shook my head and held a hand over my mouth to prevent myself from laughing. "Did she bite the same spot?"

The first time the baby bit him, I saw her in his arms and her tiny mouth latched onto his almost flat breasts. She did not feel the cloth she bit was dirty.

She had turned her head to glare at me and I thought she was supposed to be a week old. She acted as if I had interrupted her by bursting through the curtains. Can babies move their heads at that age?

As I've never cared about babies, I do not know anything about the tiny species. My past self from yesterday would not think an esteemed general like me would buy a human and also get a free baby. But lo and behold, I am here!

"I don't feel well, can you come in here and take her away? I should focus on healing myself, but I can't do it with a baby in my arms." The man in the chamber sounds weak and ill. His voice was raspy.

I parted the curtains and although I did not want to, I reached for the baby. She was gently placed into my arms and I held her as if I was offering up my sword. I made a face when I realized I did not know how to hold a baby.

"Use one hand to support her head and neck. The other support her back and bottom." Zoticus nodded approvingly and the glow around him slowly faded. He looked sickly, yet he continued to speak. "Tuck her to your chest if you want to be safer."

I stretched my lips when the baby gurgled in my arms. I see a trail of saliva drip down the side of her mouth. "Oh, don't do that! Babies are so gross."

"You were a baby once," Zoticus chuckled out of the blue as he sat in the bed with his eyes closed. There was a peaceful aura about him and with his hands pressed together, he looked ethereal. "If you're not afraid of blood, trash and death, why would saliva be disgusting?"

"It's normal to think others' saliva is dirty!" I had to defend myself although his words were the full truth. "How are you so good with the baby?"

"I've raised children my whole life in the temple. I feel like I can connect to them." He took a deep breath. His melancholy smile returned to sit on his face, but he still looked peaceful. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"

"Uh, no?" I slowly answered. The baby stirred and I braced myself for her ugly crying. "What an odd question. Who would want to kiss a brute like me?"

"I was thinking that if you have, you're not afraid of sharing mucus with others. I know you like being Vales' God of War, but you're not as bad as you think." Zoticus muttered prayers between his sentences and he still looked peaceful.

"I am a bad man." I rocked the baby in my arms as I bicker with her saviour. "So far, no one has told me I'm good."

"You treat me well, you respect our traditions and you care more than you let on. You're conflicted, yet you keep everything inside of you." Swirls of light snaked around his arms and head.

Zoticus inhaled again. Then, he exhaled with a loud sigh. "You are an emotional man with no place to spill -except for the battlefield. Learn to express yourself and you'll feel lighter."

I blinked twice, not understanding his message. I'm not bad? I'm emotional and I need to find a way to let those emotions roam?

"You don't understand?" He spoke suddenly and I was pulled back to the chamber. He puckered his lips with a nod, "You'll understand one day."

"You're younger than me. How do you know about this?" I watched his hands separate to rest on his knees. He looked like a wise man sitting straight and full of light, on my bed.

"I have emotions too, you've seen my most extreme moments." He put a delicate hand to his chest. "Besides that, have you ever lived in a Cithenian temple or have your ears pierced by thorns?"

"What was life like in a Cithenian temple?" I sat on the edge of the bed with the baby girl in my arms. She was asleep and I could feel her small head against my ribs. "Was it more difficult than the ear-piercing?"

"A thousand times more difficult." He suddenly lost his voice and became quiet. On his lap, his hands tangled themselves and he was a nervous wreck. His glow disappeared. "I don't wish to talk about the details. Being a priest was a blessing and a curse."

I nodded to myself and made a mental note of avoiding the topic of the Cithenian priesthood. I had a strong feeling that whatever was in his mind, he endured pain and suffering.

Somehow, he smiled as he talked about the overall honour of being Krasea's top priest. Someone so young became a religious leader followed by thousands of people. Of course, he would not be open to explaining everything he experienced.

I'm glad I never came close to the priesthood, but my humble beginnings were not as great. I wouldn't wish to speak about it either. I understood Zoticus' hesitation in telling me about his past.

We have many days to figure it out but right now, we focused on the silence. The only sound I could hear is my heart beating against their cage. It was a strange sound that I've never heard before.

During battles, my heart does beat, but it is aggressive and euphoric. This specific heartbeat was as soft as fluttering butterfly wings. It was as if my heart was not attempting to escape, it was dancing.

I place the baby on my lap and use one hand to pound a fist against my chest. My head felt weightless. Full of fear and confusion, I raised my head to look at the priestly man I should be calling my slave. "If you can heal yourself, why don't you remove the slave symbol on your thigh? I know being branded is painful."

"It is painful, but I'm not one to run away from pain. I'm familiar with Death, why would I shy away from pain?" Zoticus pointed a finger at me and my eyes widened. His arm crackled with power.

I sucked and the baby was jerked by my movement. She screamed into my face and I looked up. "What are you doing? If you want to kill me, at least do it when your daughter is not around!"

"I'm only checking your immorality. If someone knows he's hunted, he'll have excuses to stay alive." Zoticus jumped off the bed and approached me, step by step. He should have stayed on the bed. He paused before me and cackled. "Are you afraid of me?"

"No!" I said quickly -almost too quickly. I set down the baby girl and pulled the triggered man out of the room. I led him to my huge chambers with a smirk on my face. "We can fight here."

Zoticus looked around at the fancy furniture, raising his eyebrows. It was understandable as I did not have taste for house decorations. He must have suspected someone else furnished my house. Taking me by surprise, he grabbed the collar of my shirt.

I grabbed his hand, shocked by his aggressiveness. I did not expect him to use so much force on me and because he was a priest, I'm slightly afraid. Priests are peaceful until they are given missions by the gods or their people.

I groaned when I was slammed onto my bed and for a moment, I thought the man on top of me was Sebastian. I shook my head, he used a lot more force than my friend. I took a deep look at his face. The amount of desperation I saw was making me uncomfortable. What is he trying to do?

"Are you truly a homosexual?" He thrust his face into mine and I started to feel real fear, something I haven't felt for years. He grabbed my arms and pinned me down on my bed! Then, he breathed onto my neck. "Stop struggling, I am stronger than I look and I have fought on battlefields before. Cithenian priests must be enchanting and strong, unlike your prudish priests."

I'm a warrior and at this moment, I felt threatened. I fought to escape his grasp and I cursed him for being flexible. Wherever I kicked he moved away with ease by contorting his body around my legs. After finding I had tangled myself, I quite thrashing around. In my chest, my heart ran faster than a cheetah.

I sighed, starting to believe Zoticus is not a priest but a god. I could use all my energy and powers, however, I did not wish to harm him. "Why are you asking me that? To be truthful, I never had the time to consider who I liked. Everyone is either a friend or foe, I have no lovers. I never did. I don't know why you are doing this, but can you release me?"

"Sure," Zoticus' warm hands abandon my skin and I am instantly washed in coldness. The man looked peaceful and unbothered. "I'll kill you soon. After I confirm one small suspicion."

I rub my wrists and nodded, too exhausted to retaliate. I noticed his face was too close to mine and I reached up to push it away. I did not want to see his soulful eyes because they shook me, ripped my will right out of my chest. I did not like having any control over how I felt so I needed to avoid his penetrating gaze.

His eyes narrowed as if an idea had already formed in his mind. After sitting on my thighs for a long moment he finally dismounted me and pulled me off the bed. His crazed look had vanished and I had to avoid his calm eyes.

I was afraid of this man for a reason I do not know. His touch sent chills down my spine and I think his question was smart. I have told him I liked men and if I was being truthful, he would have a chance to become my love. Then he can betray me and I will die when he leaves me or uses a weapon.

"I won't let you enter my heart, give it up!" I push him away from me, bothered by his brilliant smile. I stomp blindly through my house and pause when I reach the large archway that is the main entrance. I glanced down at my feet and tapped my chest with a hand, hoping to calm my heart.

I started to watch the rain and listening to its music. It was peaceful, the opposite of my mind. Normally, I am as calm and collected as Zoticus, so why am I like this right now? I dig my hands into my hair and wrapped my fingers around strands to pull them out. I squatted and roared to the rain.

Thunder replied to my shouting.

"You're confused, aren't you?" Zoticus was standing behind me with a smug smile on his face and a small bundle in his arms. When did he retrieve the baby girl? He held the baby higher, "I think we should give her a name."

"You can name her," I said as I sulked on the steps of my house. I stared at a shimmering barrier which I think is the magical walls of the house that is built when the rain comes. I sighed when the man came to sit beside me.

"You are the master of this house. You should name the people living under your roof and if you want, I'm willing to change my name." The man from Krasea nudged me with his elbow. "Come on, name her."

"I'm not creative." I have lived with men for most of my life, how would I know which name is suitable for a girl? I shrug him away, wishing to be left alone with my warring emotions. "I am a warrior, I erase names. Why should I give one?"

"I have learned about Valesian traditions. Slave owners and house owners must name the ones living under them. You will not rename me, but another Valesian would. Are you not a Valesian?" Zoticus slid away from me, sensing my agitation. He still urged me to name the baby girl. "Fine, you don't need to name me, but give her a name."

"Lorica, there, I named her." I grinned upon seeing his shocked expression, hoping he would regret giving me the power to name a small human. I shuddered when his only reaction was a grin.

"Lorica could be a baby girl's name and as expected, a warrior would name her after body armour. Good, this name is suitable for a strong girl like her." Zoticus glanced down at the child with affectionate and warm eyes.

The amount of love and awe in his expression could fool anyone into thinking he is her biological father. He is at a perfect age to marry and start a family, but he was a priest. I have never met a priest who would have thoughts about women, but Cithenian priests may be different. If they can go into battles, what else can they do?

"How can you know her personality?" I could not understand this confusing man. To me, he is an enigma that I would like to solve. I could only understand war strategies and warriors, how am I supposed to understand a priest? He is so odd to me.

"I just know," he muttered under his breath. He looked young, but his posture and eyes looked like they would fit better on a wise man. "Healing is not my only power and I think dark blood magic is not your only one also."

"You're right," I said almost as soon as he finished speaking. Why did I answer him so quickly?

Zoticus caught my readiness to answer and his eyebrow raised slowly, creeping higher and higher above his eyes. They looked like slender, beautiful caterpillars. Curls bounced as his head tilted from side to side. "Do you like me?"

"No, you are my slave." I grit my teeth and avoided his gaze. I did not like being caught by the one I should be solving. "A master cannot like a slave. Homosexuality is not a sin, but being affectionate towards a slave is. Besides, I do not like men."

"My question was if you like me. Forget about my being a slave or that I'm a man. Do you like me, Zoticus, Cithen's defeated god?" He poked Lorica's cheeks and that bright smile returned to his face. "If I want to kill you, you need to like me. Do you like me yet?"

"Oh my gods, no! Even if I did like you, I won't die by your hands because I don't love you. I will never love you because you are who you are. You are not my slave or a man- although you are -but, you are Zoticus. Someone from an enemy nation and a former priest. Who am I?"

"Marik Valerius?" The gentle man piped up. His face did not look like he was serious or joking.

"Marik Valerius, yes, that is my current name." I looked up at the rain, finding peace in the drops falling at their own pace to meet their friends in a puddle. Like the raindrops, I understood we are all living life at different paces only to be the same in the end. So, why does Zoticus feel different? "I'm a complicated man."

Zoticus nodded and covers Lorica's chest with his shawl. He had ditched the torn cloth she came with and used his blood-stained shawl to wrap her. The man started to giggle along with the baby, looking very fatherly. "She's warm now, isn't that good?"

"Are you asking me? An old man who never liked babies?" I stretch my arms above my head and lean backwards until my head meets the cold floor. I stared up at the white archway that was suddenly washed with light. I covered my eyes with an arm, "Can you control your brilliance? I know you are bright, but my eyes cannot take any more."

"Well, I'm sorry you are a night warrior. We all need some sunshine in our lives and for the time I've been talking to you, your voice sounds as if your life is like this." He removed a hand from Lorica's back to point outside.

He was saying my life is cold and bleak like a rainy day and I admit that I agree.

I shrugged on the floor, acting as if his words had little effect on me. "Some people pursue peace and sunshine, I pursue war and darkness. You said I am not an evil or bad man, but I will always insist to be Vales' God of War. I am war!"

"And yet, the God of War cannot look right into my eyes?" He caught me again and I was almost fed up with his remarks. Zoticus flashed a knowing smile. "Admit it, you like the sun. Isn't it warm and comforting? Don't you feel at peace when you look at the celestial ball of fire?"

"No," I growled as my head moved in his direction. "It makes my eyes burn and I feel the urge to dig deep underground to escape it."

He knew I was lying. How much of it he knew was a lie, I did not know. He only nodded in response to my denials. Then, his head whipped to face mine. "You're a liar."

I held up a hand and waved it down, swiping his words away from me. I did not like being read like a book and Zoticus was too good at it. No one has been able to tell me my thoughts or my personality with only a conversation. I clutch my head with both hands.

"You think too much about everything." Zoticus shifted beside me, most likely rocking Lorica back to sleep. He sighed and looked up at the gloomy sky. "During these moments do we appreciate the sun. Still, there is tranquility in the uniform bleakness of the rain. The water keeps coming to help the plants grow."

"Are Cithenian priests always philosophical?" I muttered under my arm. I was interested in his musings, but my mind was already too crowded. I was having too many thoughts about the sun and rain alongside my thoughts about identity and emotions.

"No, they are usually quiet. I'm the black sheep who talks whenever I'm not doing anything of importance." His tanned arms stretched apart. "Like now, I'm only caring for Lorica and I'm planning to destroy your life."

"Keep caring for Lorica, give up your plan to harm me. I swear to Vales' and Cithen's gods that you will never be in here," I pointed to my chest where my heart beat wildly. Deep down, I knew I might be lying.

I do lie as if it's my second nature.

Zoticus laughed like a madman. He laughed until he started to wheeze and his hands reached up to wipe shining tears off his face. He shook his head like a father would when his child said or did something wrong.

He set Lorica on his lap to stretch his arms, "I am not a priest in Vales. How can you know what the future holds? Now, I am a slave who would have to do your bidding. Since I'm going to be around you every second of the day, are you confident that we won't have a relationship?"

"Yes, because you have Lorica. Pretend you are her father and ignore your role as my slave. This way, we can avoid each other." I leave my spot on the floor and got to my feet. I could see those beautiful eyes looking up at me. "You will never melt my metal heart. These chambers are only for magic and blood."

I prepared to leave him, but his words caught me by surprise. I stopped in my tracks to listen.

"I'm going to chisel my way into your heart. You will feel affection for me and when you do, I will use it as a leverage against you. I may look sweet and innocent, but I'm familiar with the art of seduction." Zoticus covered Lorica's tiny ears and released a moan.

"Be careful Marik, because I'm going to come for you." His crazed cackling had returned and I thought he would kill me right then and there.