Expectations

In everything we do, we always have or set our expectations before doing something. We cannot lie and say we don't or we did not because, Its the truth! We set our expectations and these expectations could be either be met and make us feel relieved or make us disappointed. Its always a 50-50 scenario and sometimes we bet more on our expectations and we just rely on these. Embarrassed to say, but I am one of these. I tend to bet more on expectations and a lot lead me to disappointment. Well, what can we say, I'm just a human.

In this online classes, I also had a lot of expectations and to be honest SO MUCH expectations. Like what you ask? I expected that this schoolyear will pass and I will be just chilling in the corner and watch some BTS or Got7 contents but.... Yeah. Turns out, I need to still do projects and different tasks that we do in the normal classes. Being overwhelmed in the situation, I did not know how to react and it made me go nuts. Because of that I had series of anxiety attacks and there are times I can't stand properly in the morning as if my body is telling me to just lie down. Knowing I have a lot of things ahead of me, I need to get up and get ready. I had these expectations also wherein I think or expect that I would be happier here at home because our homes give us comfort. And that is the worst expectation I have set in my mind. More of that will be explained in the next chapters, don't worry. I think I let myself to be carried away my expectations to the point I started to think "oh that's easy" "so simple I could just be resting or be lazy". I became careless and too confident to myself, that lead me to neglecting to study lessons and not paying attention to teachers. I started to be late on passing of some requirements or I tend to be cramming just to hand in my school works. That became a change to me as a student because I was known by my friends and teachers as a nice, diligent student. That made me a bit uncomfortable in discussions because.. I could not focus. Good thing I tried and succeeded to help myself to stop that bad attitude/ thinking of mine. I also expected that I will not need to go out to buy instruments or materials for school but it turns out I do still need to get some but thankfully, our teachers are very considerate and kind so, they try to lessen the things we need to buy or to use.

Those expectation of mine are just some of the expectations I have set. Before closing this chapter and reflecting to some things I did. I learned something "don't rely on expectations, instead, work hard and work wise to see a better reality."