A Stockholm Story

Prologue

     The pain in my groin was immense, from her kick, so much that I had lost my train of thought, so I'd no choice but to let Vanessa bolt into her room. I knew I deserved it. I probably deserved a lot more. Still, it isn't everyday you have to tell your adopted daughter that her family is the product of a felony you committed; There is simply no easy way to put it. I gave Vanessa a good twenty minutes before I waddled to the door, groin in one hand, and knocked.

"Okay, I'm opening now, baby." But before I could get in, a barely clicked in my face.

"Give me one reason," she demanded brutally. "Why you don't deserve to have your brains blown out!"

Chapter One

   I was grateful for the bushes I hid in. Although, I probably needn't hide at all. Most people are unaware of their surroundings as it is. Still, I crouched in the thorny greens, watching it go by. I refused to identify it as Cole Marshall. Using their names is pointless and personal. I don't do personal.

     It walked into the local convenience store, still oblivious to the peeping bushes. It came out with a bag full of way-expired eggs, mushrooms, banana yogurt, and well-ripe tomatoes. I needn't see them; the smell was just that intense. What's this, Trying a new protein regimen or something? Even though I'd come up with much better quips than this, I allowed myself a soft chuckle.

     After making its way home, I pulled out a folding chair and propped it up against the grassy curbside. I then had to wait until 08:15, after its daily yoga, shower, and breakfast with coffee, when it dresses for a meaningless 9 to 5, journaling for the Daily Dish Magazine Company.

Before settling in for the night, I bought some Jack Daniels; If you're going to camp out of public property, straight out of the blue, you're going to want a good excuse, and I hear cops find drunks everywhere. I started to yawn right about then, but before I let myself sleep, I jotted down its description:

"5'5." Grey moonlit eyes. Moderately attractive chiseled face. 24 y/o. Close-cut and shiny brown hair. Glasses. May or may not stand out in a crowd. No kids, partner, or other family to be tied down to. No one significant. The perfect victim."

I woke up at 05:30. I never slept much as it is. So to occupy the time, I played Solitaire. Although, I grew tired of it rather quickly, so I forced myself back to sleep, only to wake up an hour later. I gave up. I had to do something. I couldn't watch it drool over itself any longer, but I didn't want to leave and risk coming back late. I don't take risks, especially when it comes to things like this.

Chapter Two

I was beginning to grow weary of the muffled screaming and banging in the back. So, I purposely went out of my way to drive recklessly through all the speed bumps and potholes, hoping to shut it up. This SUV is soundproof, genius. No one can hear your pleas for help. So just SHUT UP ALREADY! The ruckus did not stop. I struggled to stay focused on the road up ahead. I'd failed, as I felt myself drift into a series of flashbacks: pounding on the cabinet doors, begging to come out, promising to be a better boy; Eating any and everything I could steal, just so I wouldn't starve to death; trying to sleep on the soaked night grass, since Foster Daddy gave my bed to the cat... I managed to shake myself back to the present, to find a semi-truck in front of us, honking like crazy. Panicked, I swerved the SUV into the pains to our right. Then, everything went black.

Chapter Three

was lucky enough to have woken up first. I drug its limp body a few miles or so into the neighboring woods. Man, it must really have taken a hit! I thought to myself. I propped it up against one of the many oaks in the woods, waiting for it to regain consciousness.

        When I heard squirming and groggy groaning, I put on my clown mask back on, while taking its rag bag off its face.

        "Welcome! You're going to be here for a while, so make yourself situated." It mumbled something I couldn't make out, behind its taped mouth.

      "You're very welcome," I said, pretending it was a thank you. "OH! Are you afraid of clowns? Is that it? Well that's awfully unfortunate, isn't it? Clowns are supposed to make people happy. Don't they make you happy? Don't I make you happy?"

Nothing.

     "What? The silent treatment? You're going to give me the cold shoulder? Well that's not any way to treat your host, now is it? Now, I'll let you dwell on that while I get myself some lunch." After about three steps in, I remembered: "Ah! Almost forgot- the rope? There, wrapping your hands 'round this giant wood stalk? Yeah, I attached a motion-sensored bomb to it. So, I wouldn't try anything if I were you... Ecck! Just the thought of being the ignoramus creature that you are. Ooh! Gives me goosebumps!" I walked behind it and activated the bomb. Again, it muffles something I couldn't make out.

Chapter Four

  "Hey there, cupcake," I greeted. "Glad to see you've decided to stay. Rather smart, yet stupid. You don't want to get blown up, but, given almost THREE HOURS, you couldn't figure out an escape! You know what sucks about being as intelligent and strategic as I?"

Again, no response.

       "Well, I'll tell you- EVERYONE IS ALWAYS SO DISAPPOINTING!" I made sure to spit into its face, glasses too. "You, my friend, are no exception.... Say, you probably know alot about being a disappointment, what with your parents disowning you, after they found out that you're a bloody faggot!"

          It looked up towards me.

        "Oh yes. Cole Marshall, I know all about you. I always do my research. Yes, you were quite the embarrassment, weren't you? Speaking of which, your 'good ol' uncle," I used air quotes, "called into work to let the boss know you decided to quit, but were too much a coward to tell it to her straight. And I paid your rent, enough of it to last the next year. So, I know NO ONE will notice you're missing. I've got to thank you for being the lowlife that you are. Really, thank you. Now, I'm going to rip the tape off that pretty face of yours. Don't bother screaming. It's pointless. We are quite a bit from civilization, and no one will hear you. Plus, it's just plain annoying!"

           I walked over and yanked it off. It screamed anyways, but not out of pain. This was the toddler scream that they scream when things aren't going their way. This toddler was not very happy, and screamed, I think, just to give me a headache. It worked, which earned it a kick in the lower rib, hard.

            I finished the remains of my spaghetti and Pepsi, as it  finished recovering from the kick. And when it did, it asked me, "So, what's your aim here? You gonna kill me, rape me?" Wow its voice is sexy... What am I thinking? Ecckk! I would've answered its stupid question, but the sound.. Low and smoky. Ecck! I physically slapped myself to shake out the thought, which confused it. I gave one cold look and it immediately shook off my seemingly-inappropriate and unjustified outburst of violence. It then repeated,

          " So, what's your plan? What's gonna become of me?" Please you have no idea how that makes me feel, which makes me want to grab the bomb and trigger it upon myself!

"Shut it, or I'll give you something to squeal for, faggot!" That didn't work.

         "And what would that be, exactly? Like I said.. TWICE, what's the point in my very UNNECESSARY kidnapping? You gonna, like, stick drugs in me? Use me for prostitution? Murder? What. Do. You. WANT WITH ME?"

As its volume increased, so did its appeal. I kicked myself, hard, before any seductive thoughts could arise. Why did I have to pick the one blessed with good looks and an amazing voice?

           "That-t that's a n-n-need to k-know -b-buh-bas-is," my shock made my speech falter. I drank more of my Pepsi. "And all you don't need to know squat, So shut up! JUST SHUT UP!"

          It could tell I was getting upset. It repeated itself, again. This time, I closed my eyes, with my fists and jaws clenched, and sighed dramatically. I went over to it, and kicked the life out of it. My foot met with its throat, my fist with its abdomen, once, twice thrice, for a solid thirty seconds straight, leaving it  bloody and gasping for air. It did make me feel better, so I didn't particularly care.

             "Anything else?"

No audible response, if you left out the desperate gulps of air, a few sniffles and groaning. I smiled.

              "Thought so."

Its question did stick with me though. You do this all the time-kidnap. And you do usually end up killing them, after making them suffer first, obviously. This one though..? Hmmmm.... There was a quiet among us and the trees surrounding us, mind the wind.

Chapter Five

  I'm not sure what time I fell asleep or how long I had been out for, but I woke up to the grass in my face, As I stretched, I shot a glance at it. Still there. It's had so many chances to leave. But  it doesn't take them. I even forgot to reactivate the bomb after pummelling it. Maybe  it forgot, too. Or maybe it is just stupid like I had pictured. And I thought you had to be intelligent to be a journalist. Maybe you just have to be literate, I guess.

            Its stomach's growling stopped my line of thinking. I looked over and it shrugged.

"Got any allergies?" I asked.

             "Yeah, jerks and crooks like you... I'm vegetarian."

"Oh of course you are. Stay put," I responded, and walked behind it to reactivate the bomb.

"Vegetarian.. Pshh. You disgust me, you know that?" Ah, but it doesn't. You actually find it a bit attractive, and you know it. I shuddered.

I came back with a grilled cheese sandwich and a basket of fries. I deactivated the bomb and stopped. It cannot eat without hands. Hmm... The only way is for me to.. Well.. I wouldn't actually mind touching that face... Oh. My. Goodness. Gracious. What is wrong with me? I ran a few feet and threw up.

Chapter Six

Kay, here we go. I hesitated, as I grabbed a fry.

            "Open."

It laughed. "You're kidding."

            "I can still let you starve."

Embarrassedly, it slowly opened its mouth.

             "Cannot believe this is happening."

        I smiled. "Me either." Just let it starve! You do know how to do that, don't you? Yeah, I argued back. But I literally just took from him everything he knew (which wasn't much but still..) And I beat him to a (literal) bloody mess.

       What are you DOING? Since when did you care? You're going to kill it. And now we are calling it a 'he', a 'him'? Cannot believe this. Pathetic. Just pathetic.

I shook my head. You're right. Dunno what's gotten into me.

I then snapped back to real life.

                  "Helloo? I asked you a question!"

I then kicked him. I don't care if I missed your questions. Nobody talks to me like that.

      "What!" I blasted at him.

"More fries... please." And so I allowed him another fry. IT not him.

      "Why?" it  blurted out. "If you're going to take me against my will, from the LIFE I know and actually  happen to like, why give me food? OH, is it so I have enough energy when you use me for whatever? A drug monkey? That makes so much sense now. I-"

      "YOU JUST ZIP IT-GOT IT? EAT YOUR GROSS VEGAN FOOD, BEFORE I FORCE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT AND MAKE YOU CHOKE-YOU HEAR? CAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO REPEAT MYSELF AGAIN, BUDDY!"

     "I'm vegetarian," it mumbled. "Not vegan."

"You really are retarded, aren't you? Here, " I got up." Lemme help you learn a little bit quicker." Once again, I was beating it.

     "There," I said, stepping on its fallen glasses. "There. Maybe now you'll know when to shut up and listen.. Feel any smarter yet?"

This time, it did not say anything. I grinned to myself, satisfied.

     "There you go. I knew you'd get it." I patted its head. Wow, I wonder what conditioner  it uses... or is it naturally that soft like- I refused to let myself finish that thought.

"Eat me," it muttered, so that I wouldn't have heard it. Except I did hear it.

     "I'd rather kill you and leave that job to the bears.

"Then do it already."

     "You wonder what that dick tastes like, don't deny it. Eww.. I told myself, ' I am not a faggot-so what I am doing?

We don't know that for sure. You know it turns you on.

     My eyes dart to the sag in his-its- jeans, where the two pant legs connect, the lump that's just slightly noticeable.

If it's that big, it must be juicy.

     How would I know, I am not into penis! Not yet. We don't like him. It. It. Okay? We don't even know squat about it!

      "I cannot do that. You don't know what real pain is, yet. So relax, get comfy, cupcake. You got a nickname already, Colin?"

"They call me Nonya. Nonya Business." I frowned.

"C'mon, whittle cupcake," I pinch its puffy cheeks. "Don't you wanna talk?"

I got a nickname, the voice in my head answered. I don't want to hear your opinion, I told the voice. Yea, but you'll listen anyways, wontcha? You cannot run from me, Mark. I know what to call it, Cole. How about 'my favorite ass.' He's got a nice one, you know.

     "Would you just shut up?" I yelled, aloud.

"I wasn't talking, " it replied. "Are you ok?"

     I glanced over, blushing from embarrassment. It looked down, quietly.

Chapter Seven

"What do you do for fun?"

     "Why do you care?"

"Wanna know my victims." Why do we care again? Shut up, I thought.

     It gulped. "I like walking the beach, my toes curled in the plush grains of sand beneath me, watching the blazing, beautiful sun peak above and below that seemingly-endless horizon, listening to the solitudinous silence, and how it harmonizes with the sweet melodies that the birds and the wind like to sing. I enjoy the freckles of glimmering light splattering the ocean waves, praising the Good Lord, and, as you can tell, pouring out my emotions into powerful words of language.

     Wow... Every breath made me twinge. Beautiful on the outside and inside.

"Sounds lame," I lied. It shrugged. Lies! You thought it was phenomenal-don't kid yourself."

"What about you?"

      I hesitated to say anything back. Well, he is gonna die anyways..

"Name's Mark. I weight lift. Donate to local charities. I-"

      "Hold up. You? Donate? Really?

I clenched my fist and that was enough to zip him up.

     See, you're not so bad..Maybe one day, he will learn to like you, too. He can "Mark" all over you..

      "Nobody expects a donor to be a bad guy," I thought up. "Anyhow, I stalk, I kill. I fix cars. I-"

"So, you're going to kill me?"

      I gave no answer for a while.

"I dunno yet. You're. You're special." He's special all right.

      "Umm thanks?" It guessed. There was a long, deafening silence that hung in the air.

When are we going to torture him-I mean it! Patience, I thought.

     C'mon! Don't stall.

Alright, what should we do to it? You're the deranged lunatic- I'm just the voice in your head! Use what you know.

     Use what I know. Use what I know. OH! I know exactly what to do!

Well, then get on with it!

Chapter Eight

 "Hey there, cupcake," I walked over to him, smirking.

Cole looks up from his cold bare feet.

    "I got somethin' for ya. I think you're gonna like it, I think you're gonna like it a lot."

I crouched down to his level, leaning against the tree.

    "Can you guess what it is, faggot?"

He refused to meet my eyes.

    "What," his voice quivered with discomfort and fear.

I leaned in even closer, so I could feel his eyelashes kiss my cheeks.

     "P-puh-please, just leave leave m-muh-me b-be."

"Not yet, my whittle faggot, " I whispered. That was when I stuck out my tongue, all nice and wet, and caressed Cole's beautiful face with it. Back and forth and back again.

     "You like that, don't you faggot? I know you do. Because you're a foul, sinful, little homo- freak."

It said nothing in return, just shook with disgust and panic.

     "Don't you like that, Mister Cole?" At this point, my hand was cupping the side of his neck-not in a violent way, but gentler and more intimately. I exaggeratedly exhaled into his eyes. "Ohhh, Cole. I bet your faggoty little self is turned on right about now, aren'tcha?"

"P-please s-s-stop. Please."

     I faked an obviously fake frown. "What's the matter, Cole? I thought you liked men. Are you sure this isn't pleasuring you?"

Then, he began to cry. He tried to stifle his tears, but it was no use. Suddenly, my sympathetic side kicked in, Staring at this broken-down creature made me come to see just how wrong Cole felt, being forced to feel my "love." My hand slid down and away from him.

     "S-sorry." I stood up and paced away from him. What. was THAT?!

I don't know.

Why are you apologizing to it- remember-IT, NOT him!?

I am not in the mood right now.

    That's right, because now, now you're horny. It was supposed to stress it out, which worked. BUT, it also turned you on. You enjoyed it... you faggot.

I smiled, thinking back on it. I could still taste his soft, soft, smooth skin tickling my tongue. My hand panning that gorgeous face. I then remembered that I had called myself a faggot. I shook all those thoughts away.

Chapter Nine

I came back with an order of scrambled eggs and toast from the closest diner up the road. My feet were sore. I sat down, with my legs crossed. I took off the new layer of duct tape off Cole's mouth. "Ow," it said. I shushed him and drove a forkful of egg into his mouth.

...Wow. He's even cute when he eats...

     Another forkful And another and another, and another.

"Smank hoo."

     I smiled in response. As I looked at Cole, I noticed a little smudge of crumb on his upper lip.

"Hold still." I licked my thumb and wiped it off his face. "There," I smiled again. We stared at each other for a while. Neither of us spoke. I noticed the blend of brown and green in Cole's eyes. I noticed the minute dimples that settled in his cheeks. I noticed how I enjoy noticing things about him. I smiled and patted his leg as I got up.

     "Nap time. Hope you're comfy with that bomb on your body."

I said nap time, but I really wasn't all that tired. I just wanted to kind of lay there and process my thoughts. You like him. You're just a freak as he is, you know that? I smiled again, thinking about Cole. Cole is a homo, but it wasn't really his choice. Maybe it's not so bad.

     Are you even hearing yourself right now? I mean COME ON!

I cannot believe you.

     I tuned out the voices at that point. It's not like I'm a different person or anything, right? Not so bad, is it? I could feel myself drifting off. My breathing slowed down, my eyes grew heavy. I fell asleep.

     When I awoke, I found Cole watching me. He looked as though he wanted to say something, but he didn't. Maybe what happened earlier stopped him. I shivered with guilt.

     "Hidey ho there, cupcake." I stood up and ruffled his wavy hair, walking toward the book I had been reading earlier.

"I watched you sleep," Cole stated randomly. I glanced at him.

     "I watched you sleep," he repeated. "I like you better when you're asleep. You look nicer, without that putrid smile and cold eyes at me."

"Thanks."

     Silence continued.

Chapter Ten

We had lunch. I read a book I had stolen from a local bookstore, both to myself and to Cole.

"After London went to be, Vivian and I sat on the couch, the television tuned to the Food Network. Vivian was sipping a glass of wine, I thought again about bringing up the-" I heard snoring. Looking away from the book, I smiled again. He looked so peaceful when he slept.

                                                                                       ******

"I watched you sleep, " I said, smiling, per usual now. "You look nicer, without that fear and frown at me."

     "Well, I have good reason to. You STOLE me. My life-for who knows how long. You sexually harassed me. You watched me sleep!"

My smile slowly disappeared.

     "Sorry," I apologized. Sorry? EXCUSE ME? HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT?

His eyes met mine. He nodded, appreciative of the apology, probably-most definitely not- out of forgiveness.

     I have screwed with him a bit, haven't I, I thought. Well not yet, you haven't screwed him... You think Cole is a top or a bottom? Maybe a switch.

At this, I laughed, almost ready to accept that I like Cole Marshall, who himself is a faggot.

     It took a hot minute to realize I was masturbating. I quickly withdrew my hand from my pants and boxers, and checked that Cole hadn't seen. He hadn't. He was just staring. At what, I had no clue. So I asked him.

     "Whatcha thinkin' bout over there, Cupcake?" I received no response.

"Still mad at me?"

     His face reminded me that of Dr. Bruce Banner, when he turns into the Incredible Hulk.

"Why in the world would I not be?"

     I looked down, as a child does when he is scolded.

"I said I was sorry." Yea, and I still have no idea as to why!

     "Oh right. Because that makes everything better."

I said nothing. Cole sighed dramatically.

     "I was just admiring and taking in the beauty of the trees."

I joined him. It really was a sight to behold. A simple sight we often pass by, unnoticeably so. One we often take for granted.

     "You're right- it is beautiful out there," I told him, still observing.

We shared a smile.

Chapter Eleven

 It was three o' clock in the morning, when Cole asked me, "Are you still up?"

I lay on the night grass, staring up at the night sky. After realizing he couldn't see me nod, I said, "Yea. I am. What's up, cupcake?"

     "You aren't going to kill me, are you?"

"And what makes you think that?"

     "Because you're going soft, Mark."

I said nothing. 

     "You may be a crook and a madman, but you've got a heart somewhere in there, don't you, Mark?"

 Again, I said nothing. I just let those words sink in. Then, I fell asleep.

     I woke up to a smelly foot in my face. Surprised and disgusted, I shoved it away. Cole was moving in his sleep.  Good thing, I thought to myself, that I didn't reactivate the bomb, or his blood and guts would be everywhere. 

 And this would be bad why? Oh right- because you wovve it. Disgusting disgrace to criminals.

My shoving woke him up. 

     "Mmmnm.. What time is it?"

Time for breakfast. Be right back, cupcake. Don't go anywhere.

                                                                      *** ***

I came back with pancakes and toast for the both of us.  I walked over and noticed I had forgotten to reactivate the bomb again. I wonder if he noticed... Of course  it didn't. Otherwise  it wouldn't still  be here, would  it, you diptard. It  doesn't care about you. Like, at all.

     Diptard? Is that really the best we could come up with? You're getting weaker, you know, I told the voice. The voice said nothing back.

I reactivated the bomb.

Chapter Twelve

Cole, already prepared, opened his mouth. This made me smile. Cole can do pretty much anything and make me smile.

"Here you go, cupcake."  Cole smiled back at me, as I pushed the forkful of pancake into his face. After he swallowed, he asked me to come closer. And so I did.

   He pecked his lips onto my cheek, then my lips, and then full on kissed me. I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do. I backed away slowly. Cole was blood-red with embarrassment.

I cleared my throat.  He apologized. 

     "I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that."

I only nodded.

     "How are you feeling," Cole asked.

"Let me think on that," I told him.

We went about our days in silence, him tied up, and me free to roam as I pleased. The thought about Cole's kiss didn't arise from my mind until later that night.

     Later at night, we were stargazing, pointing out various constellations to each other. His knowledge of astronomy was very amusing. A shooting star flew around above our heads.

"Make a wish," I whispered. I closed my eyes and did the same. 

"So, what was your wish?"

     "I can't say, silly. Then it won't come true."

"Well, I'll tell you mine, if you want."

Cole said he did. I told him I wanted courage. He asked what for. So, I crawled over to his side and pecked him on his cheek, then his lips, then full on kiss him on the lips. "That," I grinned.

     He said nothing for a moment, just stared at me, speechless. Then, quick as lightning, he grabbed my hair aggressively, and we made out. Our kisses long and luscious, only stopping to breathe, which was often since we moaned and groaned, and knocked the wind out of one another. One body grinding on another, then we rolled over and flipped positions, and tore off each other's clothes. You were right, I thought. Cole is a switch. I thought of nothing, and knew nothing but his lips and his chest on my head, licking each of my tender spots, freckles, and scars. The trees and the birds disappeared from existence. All that was, was the biting cold wind brushing against our naked bodies.

Chapter Thirteen

             I don't really remember, to this day, what happened next. The following days were a bit of a blur to me still. But our relationship grew nonetheless. I'm sure that fights were fought, words were said, and feelings were felt. 

     What I will always remember was when we were in the hospital together. She's so beautiful, even to this day. I like to think she was an angel brought down from the Kingdom of Heaven as a gift to Cole and I. We tossed around names for quite a while, but eventually we agreed on Vanessa. Vanessa Rose Marshall. 

She grew up to be like Cole, sweet and smart. But straight, which we're both perfectly fine with. Vanessa's had many of boyfriends over her teenage years. She snuck them in when she thought we were sleeping, and he snuck her out a few times, but we let them, and pretended not to know about any of it. Kids think we don't know anything, but we do. Kids are going to be kids right? 

Chapter Fourteen

The pain in my groin was immense, from her kick, so much that I had lost my train of thought, so I'd no choice but to let Vanessa bolt into her room. I knew I deserved it. I probably deserved a lot more. Still, it isn't everyday you have to tell your adopted daughter that her family is the product of a felony you committed; There is simply no easy way to put it. I gave Vanessa a good twenty minutes before I waddled to the door, groin in one hand, and knocked.

     "Okay, I'm opening now, baby." But before I could get in, a barely clicked in my face.

"Give me one reason," she demanded brutally. "Why you don't deserve to have your brains blown out!"

      I gulped a big wad of air nervously. Never had I ever imagined my own daughter would rebel this far. Cole threw open the door. 

"Vanessa Rose! Where did you get that gun? Why do you have it? I want to know now!"  

     Cole had taken her by surprise, so much that she jumped. And when she jumped, she pulled the trigger. 

Chapter Fifteen

All I heard was beeping, steady and monotonous, like a metronome. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. I felt something rather cold touch my hands, which woke me up. The first thing I see is a familiar smile. 

     "Hey there, cupcake. Your hands are freezing, you know that?"

He chuckled, and put them under my shirt, and rubbed my side. "Thats feel any better?" I couldn't help but laugh alongside him.

     "Eww.. gross. Dads, I'm right here- your daughter, remember?"

My face turned grim, remembering why I wound up in the hospital. 

     "Do I remember that I'm in a hospital with you? Yes. Do YOU remember why? I can't even being to express how I feel. I'm so scared and disappointed at overwhelmed all at once." I glanced at Cole. 

     "Vanessa, sweetheart, go in the waiting room. Now. Please." After an elongated sigh, she did as I had asked her.

"What are we going to do about her, honey? I can't think of any type of punishment that would suit her shooting her own father!"

     "I dunno, Marcus. I'm just as stuck and confounded as you are about this. I never thought I'd see the day you'd end up the victim. Or that our sweet Vanessa would end up a felon. Guess she got your genes."

"Cole, this is not the time for jokes."

     "I know. I'm serious." He then broke and cracked his goofy, too-big-for-his-face smile, but after seeing how serious I was, he cleared his throat and made his smile vanish.

"Go grab her, will you sweetie? I think we should discuss this as a family." So he went and got her. When the door was closed and we all sat/layed there together, I sighed.

     "Was is really necessary to SHOOT YOUR FATHER? Daddy won't allow this type of behavior. You realize this is a felon, and if we were to press charges, you'd wind up in Juvenile Hall? DO you realize that, Vanessa?"

 "What I did is just as wrong as what you did," she was looking at me. 

     Flabbergasted, I said, "Not really! I didn't almost murder someone!" Cole cleared his throat. "Ahuh- yes you did."

"Not helping, Daddy!"

     "Daddy" shrugged.

"Daddy, why don't you leave us alone for a minute, please? Thank you!"

Chapter Sixteen

My face straightened real quick as he left the room. "I know what I did wasn't right, and we've always taught you to do the right thing, and I didn't set the perfect example, but there is ABSOLUTELY no excuse for your shooting me."

"It was an accident. Daddy scared me when he slammed open the door and yelled at me. It was an accident. I was only bluffing. It was an accident! This wasn't supposed to happen," she was crying at this point.

     "Neither was you finding out. Daddy and I have put this behind us and we try to forget about it, because yes it was bad and wrong, but it brought us joy. It brought us you. If I didn't fall for the man whose life I almost took, you wouldn't be here, and you both mean the world to me. Yes, what I did wasn't okay, but I faced a lot of guilt and shame over the past years, don't worry. I've seen the error of my ways, and you are in no position to persecute me, young lady. Do you understand?"

Full of tears and snot, Vanessa nodded. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

     "It's okay, dearie."

"No its not. I need you to know I'm sorry."

     "I understand. I-"

"NO YOU DON'T!!" she cry-yelled at me.

     "Then explain for me.. please."

"You won't understand. Trust me."

     "Try me."

"I hope you can forgive me," she said, walking up the the machinery I was hooked up to. She outlined the tubes with her finger. 

     I became nervous and sweaty. 

She began pulling the tubes.

     "Because I can't forgive you."

She walked away, leaving me breathless and bleeding. 

Chapter Seventeen

Everything began to blur, my head hurt, pounded and throbbed. My eyes couldn't stay open long enough to see Cole bolt in. I was conscious long enough to feel his gentle caressing on my face. I barely possessed the strength to shift my hand to touch his. Cole looked down to see there was a paper in my hand. It was a good thing I always prepared for my death, because in my hand, was my will/goodbye speech, for whenever the occasion arose. Of course, this was written years ago, but through it I will go on. It read:

     "I think it is selfish, that we write officially prepare our wills later in life, closer to old age. I think it is selfish to assume we will last 60+ years. There are so many ways and times we could have died in our lives and we have no idea. You never know when your last good day is indeed you last good day, as an author I liked when I was younger had said. At the time, it's just another good day. I am prepared for the inevitable. I accept death when it comes onto my doorstep, because I expect it. I don't wait til I am old to worry about it. I worry about it at every age. I worry I won't have a kid. I worry I'll never find a partner. I worry my crimes will catch up to me. I've done many wrongs, and only God knows all that I have done. I hope he can forgive me. I hope that I've done enough in this world so I won't rot in the next one, but I doubt it. If I turn out to be a bloody faggot, I'll surely be going to Hell, but luckily, I'm not. I have no one to say goodbye to, really. I hope my Foster Dad goes to Hell, and never had a mother or siblings. I once had a goldfish, but I overfed him and he died. So, there really was no point in making this, but I can't leave without saying this.. whatever this is. WIth that, goodbye."

I could faintly hear sobbing before I left.