Forever Alone

So that is how came to be some famous little hero.

But...It is so tiring! Ughh! Can't everything just stop right now! Why does it all fall onto me! It's annoying and I too exhausted! Am I cursed?! Ehhh! Who is cursing me!

"Estelle, don't worry. Everything's gonna be fine," says Leo unexpectingly.

"Did I just say that out loud?" I asked, knowing the answer already.

"Of course you didn't," he replied sarcastically. "I read the small thought bubbles floating right above your head." He pointed above my head, but soon began laughing uncontrollably.

I glare at him, but only receive his irresistible crooked smile.

I sigh. "Die slowly, Cruz."

Ehh!! He laughs even harder.

Although we've hung out together for over a year, I still can't seem to understand why I've always felt at ease when I'm with Leo Cruz. We met so suddenly that it leaves me completely confused. He came unexpectedly, his hair a starry night and eyes deeper than any ocean, and began introducing himself. I was weirded out a few days after that, but he soon rubbed onto me. We quickly began loosened up to each, joking and laughing around. Like good ol' friends.

"What are you thinking about now, Little Almighty Light Goddess?" asked Leo, poking my head with his slim finger.

"Ways to punish you, useless peasant," I grumble.

Leo places a hand on his chest and gasps. "Why would you such a cruel thing. Especially to me. I've been so loyal to you and this how you treat me. I feel very offended."

I lightly nudge him away, laughing as he continues his ridiculous performance. I soon begin to laugh along with him, until I suddenly get cut-off midway when a cold shiver runs down my spine.

"What's wrong, Estelle?" Concern coats Leo's voice as he leans closer towards me.

I cautiously look around, feeling something—no somebody watching us. I anxiously listen for any noise that will clue me as to where that somebody is. However, I don't hear anything out of the normal bashes of the city.

Something doesn't seem right.

"Why did you get all quiet?" Leo asked again. "Is something wrong?"

"Don't know," I slowly repy. "Probably just goosebumps?"

"Maybe it's just stress," Leo said trying to reassure me.

I nod. Yeah, maybe it's just a stress. But, I have to stay alert, just in case.

We stand there in silence for a while; waiting and listening, but nothing happens.

In the end, Leo is the first to break the eerie silence. "Welp...what do we do now?" he begins to asks.

"Ehh? I guess it really was stress." I say after a moment. "We should just leave for now. How about we go grab some brunch, Cruz?"

As soon as I asked, I knew from the look on his face that it was gonna be a no. "Ahh...I've gotta go..umm...meet up with Lena today,"—he stutters out, but continues on—"how about next time, El? You know how things are and—"

I wave him off with a flick of my wrist. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever, just go meet her and do your little lovey-dovey things." I try to act as normal as I can when saying it, but it comes out quite harsh and indifferent.

As a result, Leo bluntly stares at me like usual.

Why are you looking at me like that and waste your time to meet your girlfriend? What do want me to say?

Then, he suddenly hugs me. "I'll come to see you as soon as I'm done, 'kay?" He pulls me back, holding me at arms length. "Just wait for while and I'll come back to your side, my lil' Light Goddess."

He smiles warmly and something squirms in my stomach when I look at him. Maybe it is that time for this month, but I ignore it for now. "Go, you're wastin' time." I shove him and he starts to laugh.

He starts to walk off and when I think he isn't gonna look back, he turns around. He waves at me with his smile promising he'll be back soon and then starts to run off, leaving me alone. Such a familiar feeling.

Although I'm quite experienced with this feeling, I still sense its razor-sharp edges jabbing into me. I know I shouldn't be selfish to crave for someone to only care for me. But it is difficult, when it is taken away from you. I just want to feel it once more. At least one time, that is all I ask for.

This longing began when I was young, right after my parents death. I was sent to live with my only relative, Aunt Ruth, who was usually kind and gentle. But after she found out about her brother's death, she went insane. She would endlessly beat me, yelling, "It's all your fault, you little demon." I endured it for three miserable years, until one of the new neighbors noticed my scars and bruises. However, I'm guessing everyone in the neighborhood suspected it, but were all too much of a wimp to say anything. In the end, my Aunt was soon arrested, and I was assigned to some plain-looking orphanage where I was yet again alone. Shortly after, I was shifting between one foster family to another. Soon, I took off into the dull streets when I got tired of seeing each families disgusting face, pretending to pity me.

That day I told myself that there was no point surviving this hell. No one is going to care about a stupid child like me. Wouldn't it be better if I ended it right here? Right now? But as soon as these negative thoughts began to poison my mind, I had the impulse to look up into the starry sky. There were so many stars, all of them different from one another, but still equally the same.

How would it feel like to shine as bright as them? Can I really be happy?

I regret asking those questions back then. For, I did not know what the future held for me.