Chapter 13: How to PvE
While I did sit down by the bonfire I decided against spending my souls on leveling up for now as I wanted some goods from the undead merchant who should be around here somewhere. Though while I was resting my instincts warned me so leaned backward.
*Swish!*
And narrowly dodged the crossbow bolt.
Bastard.
I'm sitting at a bonfire yknow? The ceasefire zone? Do you not even have the slightest shred of decency?
Whelp guess it's up to me to teach you some then.
I got up and approached the hollow casually. Dodging another bolt I knocked the crossbow off his hands. When he brought out his shortsword I too threw that off the tower. Then I delivered an uppercut which knocked his helmet off. After that I started wailing on the poor fella.
*Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Stab!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Crush!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Stab!* *Smack!* *Smack!*...
I kept beating on him like he was a sack of meat with my bare hands. And when he was near death I forced one of my estus down his throat and then continued showering him with blows. Some of his friends approached me but I swiftly dispatched them.
< Your skill { Boxing lv.4 } has leveled up! >
< { Boxing lv.4 } -> { Boxing lv.5 } >
By the time I ran out of estus my boxing skill had actually leveled up to my pleasant surprise. After it ran out I just pushed him off the tower. After that, I went back to my bonfire and refilled my flasks. But it had seemed like the dumbass hadn't learned his lesson.
[BONFIRE KINDLED]
*Smack!*
*Smack!*
*SMACK!*
*SMACK!!!*
...
[You have acquired:
2xLight Crossbow
2xHollow Soldier Helm
2xHollow Soldier Armor
1xHollow Soldier Waistcloth
4xTitanite Shard
1x longsword]
< Your skill { Boxing lv.5 } has leveled up!3x >
< { Boxing lv.5 } -> { Boxing lv.8 } >
Good news! It seems like even hollows learn their lesson if you use sufficient amounts of violence. I even got proper-ish clothing out of it. Now I don't have to walk through the dirty streets of Undead Burg without shoes! I can also relax as the crossbow hollow just ran downstairs the moment I reset the bonfire.
But unfortunately for him, I was also heading downstairs. Because if I remember correctly, that Undead merchant fellow was there. So after quickly getting rid of the 4 hollow warriors/soldiers. I first opened the door I missed under the crossbow guy and grabbed the wooden shield. Which I didn't really need but my hoarder instincts are stronger than my logic.
Then I headed toward the path to the side leading to the 2 spear-wielding hollow soldiers. And it was significantly easier to take care of them in real life than in the game. Because unlike the game I had a way to easily get past their shield.
By dropkicking them.
Yeah, they went down pretty easily after, well... they fell down.
Though one of them did stab my side when I was taking care of the first one. Quite unpleasant but one chug of the delicious estus fixed that up nicely. I also of course got my revenge by kicking him down to Lower Undead Burg. Without enemies nearby I was free to go downstairs after kicking some crates away.
Not wanting to deal with the axe hollow that was going to burst through the wood cabinet thing I just threw a firebomb at his little hidey place, cooking him alive. Going through the door leading up to the balcony-like place I was met the man himself.
''Well, now... You seem to have your wits about you, hmm? Then you are a welcome customer! I trade for souls. Everything's for sale! Nee hee hee hee hee!''
Huh, unlike the game all of the wares were actually laid out in front and around him instead of being condensed into a game window. While I should have anticipated that I didn't really give it that much thought.
I did have a shopping list in mind though. First of all, I was going to avoid buying the residential key until I found out if I could break down wooden doors by myself. My priority was the bottomless box and repair box. After picking those out and paying 4k souls for them.
I also bought some leather gloves Since the hollow set, unfortunately, doesn't come with gauntlets or gloves.
"Thank you kindly."
Now someone may ask; If all his wares are in front of you why not just kill him and take his stuff?
First of all: Calm down psychopath.
Secondly: I consider myself a pacifist.
I generally won't kill or maim someone unless they attack or provoke me first.
Well, unless your name starts with Petrus and ends with Thorulund. In that case, I will get rid of you as soon as it's convenient to do so.
Of course, I would be lying if I said there wasn't a voice in the back of my head nagging me to kill him. To end his life just for petty convenience.
Just the fact that this part of me existed disturbed me a little.
But I still have my principles.
Though as I was about to head out I found something that had caught my eye. I could slightly see the Uchigatana behind him. Which, although I liked the blade I didn't really want to kill the merchant man to get the thing. Though I wonder if I could haggle for it.
Although the only method to get it in the game was good 'ol murder this wasn't a game anymore, was it?
''Heyyy merchantman how much for that nifty blade behind you?''
He grabbed his blade and inspected it for a bit then answered.
''Oh, you this old thing? Hmm, I know 3000! Sounds fair, doesn't it? Nee hee hee hee!''
''Deal!''
''Pleasure doing business with you! Come back soon! Nee hee hee hee!''
Nice, I didn't expect to get the Uchigatana for this cheap! I'm pretty sure he didn't really know its value. It feels good to hold a well-made sword for once. Plus thing is razor sharp and has an excellent balance! Well, it would be a darn shame if I didn't test out this baby, wouldn't it?
After making my way to the bonfire I headed left and started walking down the bride when-
*Crash!!!* *Booom!!!*
[YOU DIED]
Ouch.
Did I just get headshot by a fucking hollow throwing a firebomb!? Yes, yes, I think I just did. And due to that bastard, I had to spend a decent sum of souls repairing my helmet. I swear I'm gonna beat that bag of old jerky till he pops.
This time, when crossing the bride I sprinted and avoided the firebomb. Passing through the doorway I was greeted by two axe hollows. I brought out my Uchigatana and tied it to my waist along with its sheath. Then I tried replicating some moves from Iaido that I saw in my past life.
As the axe-wielding hollow number one performed a leaping strike I got in form. I shifted my body weight forward, legs slightly apart, and hands on my sword sheath and handle. Thanks to my swordsmanship skill it felt slightly more natural to perform the moves.
And the moment he was about to reach me-
*Slash!*
[CRITICAL!]
He got cleanly decapitated.
I waited for a split second for the second hollow to reach me then I precisely slashed his neck, decapitating him also. But when I was doing that a hollow soldier had entered the room from my blind spot and charged at me.
*Stab!*
And before I could dodge properly he stabbed me in my abdomen. Not piercing all the way through but it went pretty deep. When he pulled out his sword I put my Uchigatana back and drew out my morningstar and bashed him over the head.
*Bonk!*
When he was disorientated I kicked his back and took a slurp of estus. I brought out a straight sword and plunged it into his neck. While katana moves are cool and all I still prefer the ol' reliables.
< Your skill { basic Swordsmanship lv.2 } has leveled up! >
< { basic Swordsmanship lv.2 } -> { basic Swordsmanship lv.3 } >
Continuing forward there was one hollow who jumped down from his firebombing position to engage me in close combat. Big mistake. Since he was probably one of the fellows who headshot me last time I beat him to death with my gloved hands.
Entering the building in front of me I was met with, surprise surprise another hollow. Unimpressed I clubbed him to death with my wooden stick. Pushing his corpse aside I entered the balcony and parried the hollow who lunged at me the moment I entered. Grabbing him I threw him off the building into his death.
Going slightly upstairs I opened the chest and grabbed the 5 black firebombs. But then an idea came to my mind; Why not just loot the whole damn house? It's not like my storage space is limited.
So I grabbed the chest and tried to put it in my inventory which worked! Then I stood true to my words and looted the whole damn house. I took the mugs, the tables, the chairs, the barrels of... stuff, and the books which I would read when I got bored. By the time I was done the whole house was empty.
Satisfied I left the house and headed upstairs and came face to face with 3 hollows. Two of them charged me while the one at the back prepared to throw a firebomb. But having learned my lesson I intercepted him with a well-timed brick to the face.
As for the two goons I brought out my zweihander and cleaved them both in half with one swing. Then I ran up to the still stunned hollow and split him into two hollows. Now that I was done with them I climbed up the ladder to finally meet the firebomb-chucking motherchuckers.
I may be repeating myself but as I said, I am a man of my word. I beat both of those fuckers to death with my hands at the same time. Also grabbed my nth soul of a lost undead off a corpse up here. I hopped down and finally approached the door that required the key.
As is well known, in a souls game the most unbreakable thing there is, is either a locked door or a door that opens from the other side.
And I was about to test if this law applies in real life(or undeath hehe) as well. So I brought out my demon's great hammer which nearly folded me in half the moment I got it out of my inventory by the way. Although I could barely lift it I still spun around with the hammer and struck the door full force.
*Crash!!!*
While my arms felt like noodles from the backlash It was worth it to see one of the most undefeatable foes of Fromsoft crumble before me. Trudging in with a confident strut I looted everything from the house that wasn't nailed down. Including the three gold pine resins inside the chest. Along with the chest.
I went back out the door and continued on my path. Along the way, I visited the archers' tower and promptly pushed the crossbow soldier down into the abyss.
I went back down and kited the spear and sword soldiers one by one. While their shields certainly were an object of annoyance for me I found my solution around them. Which is just stabbing around their shields.
Revolutionary, I know.
After taking care of them the only thing that stood on my path was either upstairs to the Taurus demon or downstairs to the black knight.
After pondering for a while I came to a decision.
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Question: What's your favorite location in Dark Souls 1?