(Life without desire )

Five o'clock in the morning

....... Nathan began to hear a rough voice calling out to him in a loud voice full of anxiety , heavy hands touching his body and shaking him vigorously

- Sir Nathan, wake up, please. it's just a dream. you have to wake up now

He opened his eyes slowly and the tears were pouring out of them made his vision blurry.

He closed and opened his eyes three times in a row so that he could see clearly .

_ A tall macho man with red-tinted eyes, chalk-white skin, black hair reaching to his ears and under his eyes saw a blue-tinted black halo as if it were chronic signs of insomnia, wearing a black shirt and the first two buttons of an open button, as if he were from a big mafia gang .

That man was looking on his face signs of stress and anxiety saying

- Sir, do you see me Well, thank God you woke up

Chul what are you doing here I told you all to keep me alone and this speech did not exclude you why you did not follow the orders !!

_Excuse me, sir , I couldn't resist myself from coming, because every year on the same date this cramp happens to you and the next day we find you lying on the floor fainting from pain.

Nathan raised his back and grabbed the tip of his shirt cap, Chul looked very angry and upset, saying :

_ Who are you, o this, to break my rules that you have laid down here؟

You just have to know your limits well, no matter how close you feel to me, I am much further away than you imagine, and I do not have friendly feelings or compassion for anyone, do you understand this .??

Chul looked on the features of grief for his master

He knows that he does not mean any word of what he said and wants to appear in front of everyone that he is cruel and merciless.

Chul lowered his head, put his clasped hands at his thighs in a solemn manner and said:

_Excuse me, this behavior will never happen again

_And will this apology help me

I was about to remember the missing thing from my memory but your stupidity ruined everything .

- I'm really sorry. I didn't mean that

- Get out of my face now, I'm upset to look at you .you don't come to the palace until it's eight in the morning.

- Okay, sir.

Nathan threw his back on the bed, leaving his two hands and his hair scattered on the pillow made of precious goose feathers and the pillow cover of the finest silk colored in a comfortable white color for the eyes and for the soul and the medical bed mattress that harmonizes with the body movements to give the most pleasant and pleasant feeling when sleeping paint the room in white and gray, which reduces stress and induces relaxation All these ways he put in order to help himself to heal and reduce the severity of what he is going through even a little, but all those attempts were unsuccessful, but the situation is getting worse over time

Nathan looks up at the ceiling of the room and sighs, updating himself:

_Now I have to go back to my daily routine again, I mean, to the similar days that I have been living for 124 years

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, laughing at himself, saying:

_I talk to myself a lot these days about whether I have become my only friend or have I gone crazy .

He got up from the bed and his feet touched the floor He put on his slippers, which was in The Shape of a white rabbit, and started walking towards the bathroom inside his room. his room was so big that he said it looked like a hotel suite He went to the shower and started showering for almost an hour, even at these moments he continues to think .

He finished bathing and put the robe on his body

He approached the circular washbasin made of white marble and above it a large oval-shaped mirror 

  His image did not appear on the mirror as if he was an invisible person or a ghost

He raised his hand and opened the door of the closet next to the mirror The pills for depression were scattered from her like sweet pills in the Safe of a small child addicted to sugars .

Nathan grabbed one of those cans, looked indifferent and pale, took out two pills and swallowed them without even drinking water .

Well, now I'm ready to start a new day .

He came out of the bathroom, headed for his closet

He opened the door of the closet, which looked like a clothing store, but what was strange was that the clothes and costumes were so similar to each other that you couldn't tell them apart

The same design, color and shape as if he wears the same outfit every day, but in the corner of this large closet there is a corner full of colorful, fashionable and beautiful clothes, but he was wearing them only on the day of the anniversary dear to him, that is, he wears them only once a year.

He began to dress up, trim his usual hairstyle, grabbed a bottle of perfume that smelled the same as his wife's favorite, cherry

He began to spray on his clothes, neck and behind his ears with caution He is very meticulous and does not like to break the order and Rebel, it can be likened to him that he has become like a robot who follows the laws he sets very carefully .

He looked into his eyes in the mirror, updating himself :

It's sad to say about the beauty of this face that it's just a hybrid freak.

(He can see himself on the mirror but humans can't see his reflection on it)

He looked at the classic black watch around his wrist, trying to determine the current time, saying::

_It's half past seven o'clock, chul is almost there, I feel like I hurt him with my words last time, I was very cruel, what to do, apologize to him or what .

He started waving his head and hands, saying, No, no, what am I talking about, I'm not apologizing to anyone, I'm going out now to drink my coffee on the balcony, I think this will help me calm my nerves.

Nathan walked out of the room, heading towards the balcony of the mansion

The mansion was designed in the Victorian style, as if it came out of a fairy tale in novels

All the walls of the corridors are filled with ancient sculptures, statues and paintings of the world's most famous artists such as Da Vinci, Picasso, Van Gogh and many others.

The graphic patterns printed on the walls harmonize with the long white curtains that cover the windows, preventing the sun from entering them

Great attention to the smallest details of the palace, as if he made it with his own two hands alone, so Nathan was obsessed with perfection, as if he wanted to compensate for something incomplete that exists inside it .

_ He sat on the Golden sofa facing the shaded balcony windows, holding his phone, browsing the news of magazines and electronic newspapers.

_The sound of a woman's high heels approaching him

Tic tac TAC TAC

She talks to him in a soft and gentle voice, saying:

_ Sir Nathan, would you like your coffee

_ Thank you

The maid quietly put the coffee on the table and went

Nathan put the phone on the table, put one foot on top of the other and grabbed the coffee cup, saying::

_ That's what relieves me a little bit, espresso coffee it's as bitter as my life.  Oh, shit, it looks like I could use to be a philosopher and an author of thoughts .

He started sipping his favorite coffee as usual, but noticed a strong tremor with his right hand holding the coffee cup, the tremor was so strong that the coffee began to pour out of the cup.

The annoying thing is that he didn't care about this, although it could hinder his health in the future.

_ Shit , I messed up drinking my coffee. it's a bad day before it even starts.

He began to hear a voice calling him by a name other than his own, but he was sure that the voice was calling him

- What's that sound I'm hearing

It's a familiar voice to me, but there's no way you're coming

The vision begins to become blurry in his eyes , and the person calling to him approaches him

He tried to concentrate so that he could identify the features and face of the person in front of him with difficulty, he began to rub his eyes so that he could see more clearly.

He felt his head would explode from the intensity of the pressure.

- AAAAAAAAA, what is this that I'm seeing, is this you,

Sol???.....