Chapter 12: A Soft Heart

I'm almost guaranteed Mervin opened the window but the tiny doubt that he didn't, stopped me from asking him.

I settled down and began my meal. The food wasn't luxurious of any kind. A simple soup, with some toasted bread along with a few side dishes. I kept asking for light meals because the nightmares made me feel nauseous. In the end, soup was the best decision. The soup tasted like nothing and the bread was simply warm.

My stomach was full. I was satisfied with the nutrients.

For four months, everything I ate made me throw up. After finally letting myself free for a bit I thought the meal would be different but it really didn't work.

I can't taste anything!

I rang the bell and Mervin immediately walked into the room. He was probably standing outside the door.

He quickly cleaned up the plates and stood up straight. He glanced at me and placed a tiny bottle on the table.

Poison?

"What's this?" If it was poison, I wouldn't even hesitate.

"Indigestion medicine, your highness. I noticed that you didn't feel too good after meals. Hopefully this will ease your pain."

It wasn't that I was delighted at his concern but hearing him speak of my pain just made me clench the medicine bottle even tighter. I was grateful but…

"Thank you Mervin." I was grateful but I couldn't express it. He was the Duke's butler, despite the pain, that fact alone stopped me from saying a simple and sincere thanks to someone's good intentions.

Doubting everything and everyone made me feel pathetic, but I couldn't help it.

Mervin stood in the same spot for quite a while until he finally mustered up the courage to ask,

"Your Highness, please forgive me if i'm overstepping my boundaries but with utmost honesty, do you not wish to leave this place?"

He wasn't judging me, nor was he asking to report to the Duke. This was a sincere question made out of concern and worry in an old man's soft heart.

"Why would I need to leave? I'm alive. I can eat, sleep, read more novels and do whatever I want. Of course! Staying in the tower can be overwhelming but I have gotten used to it now. So I ask you instead, why would I need to leave?"

I understand Mervin's concerns but as long as I don't try to escape I'm alive.

Mervin continued to look at me with his worried expression. He fumbled around and mumbled something in a quiet voice.

"But Your highness…"

Why is he being like this? If he really cared about my life then what about the other seventeen women that suffered the same fate? Were their lives not important?

Oh! I see! It's because I'm a princess. That makes sense. In the end, everyone is after the same thing. Saving me from this place wouldn't earn you anything Mervin.

I'm not the princess that you think I am. Maybe if it was my sister, you could've gotten a reward or two but why would she even be here in the first place.

The King loves her, if she broke a family custom, he wouldn't send her off to die.

The King doesn't love me.

That's the difference.

"Your highness?" Mervin looked at me with concern. My expression must have been gloomy and it made him worry.

"I'm okay, you can leave now. Thank you for the medicine." I replied with no feeling in my voice.

"Yes, your highness." Mervin left without another word.

I had finally felt better for once, but that nauseous feeling came back to me.

I swallowed down the medicine and thankfully the drowsiness made the night pass in peace.

...…

The following morning, another new maid came to serve me.

"What happened to… Ruan?" All these maids look like they're in their late teens or early twenties, but the constant change keeps making my heart sink.

"Oh my Lady, the Head Butler reassigned Ruan to work in the garden. She's been asked to mend all the flowers in the east garden maze."

Has Mervin lost his mind? That maze is endless and it's covered in flowers! Mending all of them is just impossible. This is almost like a punishment. Why would he do-

A sudden flashback came to mind at the thought of Mervin punishing Ruan. His angry expression at Ruan's behaviour yesterday was probably linked to this sudden change in assignment.

He punished her for my sake?

Mervin is a good person. I know that from how he treats me, but he's the Duke attendant and also the person who dealt with the deaths of the previous seventeen wives. No matter how nice he is to me, I can't trust him.

No matter what, I just can't trust him.

"My Lady?" The new maid looked at me with her dark blue eyes. A sudden ray of light hit her eyes and the hue made them look purple for a second. Just the mere sight of the colour made my anxiety wash away.

My heart was at ease.

"Thank you." I wasn't exactly thanking the maid, but those purple eyes are the only good memory I hold.

"Why are you thanking me, My Lady?" The young maid looked confused at my sudden behaviour.

"It's nothing." I giggled slightly.

"I see! It's nice to see my Lady smile once in a while!"

Indeed. It's nice to feel happy once in a while.

The maid finished serving me and left the room. I walked up to the window and opened it fully, letting the warmth flow into my skin and the cool breeze clean out the suffocation from the room.

I know it's bad that I do not wish to escape, but I really can't help it.

I no longer desire to escape. That feeling is gone.

Freedom is a mere dream.

"AGH! My Lord! It hurts! AHHHHHHHHH!"

A chilling scream came towards me, and I peeked over the window to find its source.

My Lord? The Duke?

My vision wasn't exactly clear but I saw Ruan running out from the maze. She looked injured and constantly kept glancing back at someone behind her. "Please! Please don't!"

She limped and fell over. My hands clenched the windowsill.

A gloomy figure came through the bushes. He held a sword in his hands, one laced with a thin layer of blood. His steps were slow but heavy. Ruan flinched at every sound he made and crawled back out of fear. A man with dark brown hair and blue eyes walked out of the bushes.

BA-THUMP.

My knees got weak and I fell to the floor.

BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP!

I hit my chest! "Calm down! Andrea! Calm down!"

My heart started beating loudly. Fear was taking over me. I couldn't stand seeing that man!

I crawled back towards the window and peeked out to see the situation.

His blue eyes were staring right at me!

He saw me! He saw me!

I'm gone!

This is it!

I'm dead!

Someone… please… save me…

TBC