Yavin_4 - Part 2

---------------

Rey sits cross legged with my large shirt that she's wearing tucked into her lap. I have my legs stretched out on the bed in front of her, leaning back against the stone wall with a pillow behind me. Rey's cheeks are flushed and one side of the too-big shirt hangs down almost to her elbow. I could sit here and just look at her all night. The candles all around have made the cave warm and muggy and I feel too warm in my long sleeve shirt, but I'm not sure if I should take it off or not.Rey reaches up to her hair and starts to remove her elastics. Her movements shift the position of her shirt, giving me glimpses of her belly button.

"Aren't you warm in that shirt?" she asks.

"Yes." I sit up and pull my shirt over my head. I'm overheating, with Rey being in the same bed as me wearing nothing but a tiny pink undergarment beneath the baggy shirt. A slight breeze blows into the cave, cooling my skin and bringing with it the scents of the forest rain from outside. Rey watches me with a lopsided grin on her face and I suddenly feel self-conscious about having my shirt off.

"You were going to give me a gift?" I ask.

Rey takes out her final elastic and her hair falls in waves around her shoulders. It's growing longer now. She shrugs her shoulders and my glance drops to where the shirt hangs down as it slides a little lower with her shrug.

"I changed my mind," she says.

I look up again. "You changed your mind about giving me the gift?" I hold back a smile.

"Yes." She grabs a pillow and hugs it tight, watching me from the opposite side of the bed. Did I do something wrong? She buries her chin in the pillow and backs further away. Is she scared? Should I put my shirt back on?

"I've never done anything like this before," she mumbles into her pillow, her cheeks flushing red. "I'm a little nervous."

I'm about to ask what she means, but I'm sure I know what she's talking about. My heart races. She's nervous. And I'm terrified. What if I hurt her somehow? Or she hates me afterwards? I close my eyes and repeat a mantra in my head that Uncle Luke taught me to say whenever I'm afraid. . Then I remember the last time I was here, on Yavin_4.

"I made a promise to you," I say to Rey. "When you were missing. I promised you that when I found you I'd bring you back to Yavin_4 and I wouldn't be afraid to love you." I say it more for my own sake than hers. She doesn't reply. I slide over closer to her and she immediately withdraws, her back hitting the stone wall behind her. I frown, my chest tight. She's scared of me.

"I won't touch you." I say, swallowing down the lump in my throat. "You can rest in the bed and I'll go for a walk, see if the rain has lifted."

Rey's shoulders drop and she begins to cry, so desperately that I suddenly can't breathe.

"You're going to disappear too." She sobs into her pillow. "Like my parents did."

"No-"

"You left me in the interrogation chair..." she cries harder. I clench my fists. She's right. I did. She has every right to hate me.

"I'm so sorry." I lower my head. I can't break down now. I have to be the strong one, for Rey.

"Snoke will take you from me, like he did before."

"No! Never." I move over to her and put a hand on her trembling shoulder. "Never, Rey. That will never happen."

She puts her head up, her face streaked with tears. "Can you please grab me some tissues?" She points towards her bag on the food table. I jump off the bed and reach the table in two long strides. I search through the bag. The things inside are all dry, her clothes as well as the tissues she's brought with her.

I grin. "Your clothes all dried," I tease her, then smile when I hear her laugh behind me. I grab the roll of tissue and an extra towel, then go back to the bed.

Rey takes the tissues and wipes at her face. "I'm sorry," she says, her voice still shaky from the sobbing. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

I dry my feet with the extra towel then get back onto the bed.

"Can we lay down together?" she asks.

"Yes." My shoulders relax. A little rest is exactly what we both need.

Rey says into my thoughts.

I glance over at her. Did she just say undressed? She gives me a defiant look, her lips pursed and cheeks even more red as she waits for my reply.

I swallow hard. "Yes. If you want to."

She turns her back to me. "You get undressed first."

My pulse races as I pull my pants down and climb under the blankets to cover myself up. Her back's turned to me so I'm guessing she'd rather have me covered up, while undressed.

When I stop moving she turns around. I lay onto my back, putting my hands behind my head. She glares at me, as though waiting for something.

"Oh..." I turn onto my side and look at the cave wall so she can get undressed. I listen to each movement she makes behind me, pulling her shirt over her head, the blankets rustling as she crawls over to me and gets under the covers, her soft sigh behind me as she settles in.

Her touch on my shoulder makes me jump. Rey laughs lightly, then smooths her hand over my back. I close my eyes.

"Jakku doesn't have a practice of marriage ceremonies," she whispers behind me. "But I always knew my parents were married." She stops rubbing my back. "I think I always knew we weren't originally from Jakku."

We lay in silence for a moment as I think about her words.

"My parents were married too," I say softly. I climb out from under the sheets, staying covered as best I can before lowering down to the floor to get my pants. I check the pockets.

"Ben?" Rey says from the bed, which is too high up for her to see what I'm doing. I grab the box in my pants pocket and remove the ring, grasping it in my hand tight. It pinches my palm. 

I kneel at the side of the bed, which covers me from the waist down, and lean forward onto my elbows, to be closer to Rey. She has the blankets pulled up to her chin and a curious look in her eyes.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"Rey?" I say.

"Yes?"

I take another slow breath before continuing. how do I put this?

"To me, we were married the moment you looked into my soul and saw my deepest and darkest secret in the interrogation room, that I was afraid I'd never be as strong as my grandfather." I clench the ring tighter in my hand. "I knew I'd never find anyone else like you. I knew you were the only one."

Rey sits up, lowering the blanket from her chin but still holding it close. I open my palm and the ring glows into the dim light of the cave. Rey gasps. My heart pounds. 

She reaches for the ring, her hand trembling, but I take her hand so I can put the ring on her finger.

   I say to Rey's thoughts, sliding the ring onto her finger. She smiles through her tears, which run down her face. She lifts her hand to look at the ring.

"So that's why the mechanics wanted to measure my finger," she says. "They said it was for a new glove they were working on as a weapon for the battle, but when I asked your mom about it she said she hadn't heard anything about that."

I laugh and she does too.

"Your knees must hurt," she says. "Come back up."

I look down then back up again. She raises an eyebrow.

"Here." She tosses me a towel from the bedside table then turns her back to me again so I can get up without embarrassing myself.

Rey holds up her left hand, admiring the ring while I dry my knees and feet and get back into bed. I catch a glimpse of her lower back and bottom when I lift the blankets to get under them. She turns to face me suddenly and I freeze, keeping my eyes on her face so I won't look down. She presses her lips to mine and pulls away, too quickly for me to kiss her back, but my lower half reacts instantly anyway.

"That was my gift," she says, snuggling the blankets around us. "I was just too nervous to give it to you earlier." She cuddles up to me, her arms in front of her breasts, protecting them as she nestles into my arms. Her skin is warm and smooth to the touch. I run my hand over her bare back and she sighs. Her breathing slows and eyes close. She must be so exhausted after the day's events, the families arriving, the message from Dukath, the ride over to Yavin_4.

I continue rubbing her back gently until she falls asleep, then lay awake, listening to the dripping of the water into tiny puddles all around. I don't want to sleep and miss a second of holding Rey. The drips and drops are like little notes of music playing at our own private wedding ceremony.