The Morning After

I wake to an empty bed. Kylo's gone.

I look down to the cave floor.

"BB-8?"

She's gone too.

I jump out of bed, almost knocking over a bowl of warm bread pudding that's set out on the small bedside table. Under it there's a note, written with what seems to be fireplace soot scratched onto a cloth with a stick.

For some reason I'm surprised to see Kylo's writing. I'm not sure why. He's human after all, like me, and he probably went to school, a nice school. I smile at the scratchy looking script, but only for a second. Then I frown again. They could have woken me up. I'm an excellent scavenger and I'm familiar with hunting small desert animals for food. What help would BB-8 be anyway, in catching food?

My dark mood left over from the nightmare still weighs heavy on my heart, making it hard to have an appetite, but I decide to eat anyway. I swallow the bread pudding, not really tasting it, trying to push the images from my dream out of my thoughts, my parents' ship in the sky, the black melted mask...

I get up and start tidying up the cave. I left quite a mess from the fit I threw last night, with my light saber, when Kylo said Finn was a liar and a coward. Suddenly other moments from last night come to mind as I pick things up off the floor, Kylo pinning me down on the bed, his arms around me when I fell asleep.

I work faster, not wanting to dwell on the memories of last night, it's just too embarrassing. I'm glad Kylo wasn't here when I woke up. In fact, I don't know how I'm going to face him at all today.

I finish making the bed and tidying up. I even sweep the floor with a dried up bush that I find tucked away. I just hope is isn't some kind of important medicinal herb or a dried up tiny flower patch for Kylo's favourite tea or something.

The cave is spotless.

Now what?

I could wash the clothes we left in the tub. Then refill it with a new flow of clean spring water. That will take up a little bit of time. Might as well. I don't imagine Kylo will ever do it. I wish they'd hurry up and come back already.

I go into the small washroom and look into the tub. The water is dark brown with mud but there are no clothes in it. The clothes are hung on the wooden rod thing that holds up the curtain for the bathroom. And they're washed. I guess I was wrong about Kylo.

I turn back to the tub and stick my hand into the muddy water. It's freezing cold. I unplug one side to drain the water, then the other side to let a new flow of water through. I watch as the small spring washes the mud off the bottom of the tub as it flows by. Soon it's clean and running clear again. I reach down and let it trickle past my fingers, thinking about how rare clean water is on Jakku. While here it's flowing past my fingers, lots and lost of water, clean water, coming and going endlessly.

I fill the tub and stop the water flow again. If I can heat it up somehow then maybe I can take a bath. On Jakku most of the locals don't bath at all. I use a small basin of soapy water and a cloth to clean myself with daily. I used to fit into one of those basins when I was really little, but I outgrew them and haven't had a full immersion bath since I was a kid.

I get up and walk out of the bathroom to see if the small fireplace I thought I saw in the cave yesterday is actually there, or if I just imagined it. I spot it at the far end of the room and walk over to get a better look. There are still some hot embers glowing red. I look up to see where the smoke is going. There's a narrow tunnel in the cave ceiling that runs up into darkness. Kylo must have made a fire early this morning.

I grab some kindling and work the fire up again, glad to be distracted. I'll heat some stones to put them in the tub to warm up the water. If Kylo and BB-8 return before the water is warmed, then I won't have a bath. If not, then I will have a bath.

One thing's for sure, I can't spend another night here with Kylo. I don't want to ever fall asleep again, if I can help it. I've heard of deep meditation practices that are the equivalent of a full night's sleep, without the actual sleeping part. Maybe I'll try something like that.

I grab a towel from the kitchen area and pick up a few rocks that are closest to the embers, then take them to the tub. They sizzle for a second when I drop them in. I go back to the fire and wait for it to heat the other rocks. They're already warm from the previous fire.

The water in the tub does get warmer once I get all the rocks in. Well, warm enough at least for a quick bath. I'll just get in and out as fast as I can. When would I ever get another chance to have a full immersion bath?

I take off my socks, which are wet anyway from the splashes of water on the floor. The cave floor feels cool beneath my bare feet. Now for the rest of my clothes.

I pull the bathroom curtain further shut, trying close the small gap left over at the end.

, I tell myself, .

I take off my shirt, then climb out of my pants as quickly as possible. Somehow there's a breeze, even in here. I climb into the tub.

The deep water feels strange and unfamiliar on my bare legs. And yet exhilarating. It's also colder on my body than it felt to my hands when I tested the temperature, but the rocks beneath my feet are nice and warm. I lower myself down, shivering slightly. The liquid movement and gentle splashing sounds around me are mystical somehow, and calming. I sit down slowly on the smooth rocks at the bottom of the tub. This isn't so bad, in fact, it's really nice.

Suddenly the curtain draws back and Kylo is standing there. I yelp and cross my arms in front of me, hugging my knees to my chest. BB-8 rolls in, by Kylo's feet. She lets out a high pitched beep then quickly rolls backwards out of the bathroom.

"Get out!" I yell at Kylo. He just stands there and I think he's about to say something, but then doesn't. He turns to leave, then turns back again, his light saber suddenly in his hand.

It lights up, illuminated the small space. I hug my arms around me tighter. He lifts the light saber towards me, moving in closer. I scoot back on the rocks but have nowhere to go. Then he tips the light saber into the water and it makes a hissing sound, sending up steam into the air. The water boils around the crystal light, heating it up within seconds. Just as I'm about to say the water's warm enough Kylo pulls the sword out, and turns to leave.

"You're wasting training time," he says on his way out.