Ahch-To, Part 4

The small amphitheater is crowded with Resistance Fighters, pilots and officers, all discussing strategies and exchanging information about the next battle plan. I wrap my shawl around me tighter and look up. A beam of sunlight streams down through an opening in the clouds, like a spotlight shining onto the neighbouring island across an expanse of raging ocean. I see the tall archways and remnants of a majestic castle that was once built into the jagged rocks. I want to be there, under that sunbeam, away from everyone.

"Can I please have your attention?" General Leia announces. The voices quiet down and everyone begins to sit on the ascending steps that encircle the edge of the amphitheater. At the front, under a wide archway covered in fresh green vines, are three throne-like seats where Leia stands to address the group. She waits until the chatter dies down then speaks.

"Today," she begins, her voice carrying across the fog that surrounds us. "We're gathering not to discuss a battle, or mourn the dead. Today we are celebrating a victory."

Cheers erupt from the fighters and a chill of excitement runs through me.

"Rey," the General says, looking right at me. I tense. "Will you please come up?"

All eyes turn to me. I quickly get up, stepping around those sitting on the step below. I'm glad I chose a simple Resistance Fighter's plain clothes to wear to this assembly, rather than the dark green dress with embroidering that was laid out in my bed chamber. I don't know who left it there for me but I asked Finn to find me a size small in plain clothes and bring that to me instead. I'm already getting more attention than I could ever want.

Leia's smile is genuine as I walk up onto the platform. She gestures for me to stand beside her. "Tonight we will celebrate a victory. The destruction of General Hux and his battle ship, and the safe return of a Padawan, one of the last of her kind, Rey."

Everyone cheers again and my cheeks flush. I clench my jaw, fighting back tears. The visions of Kylo being operated on are still fresh in my mind from last night. I can't smile, so I settle for a tight lipped grin.

"Food has been set out at the dining hall," Leia continues over the chatter. "And tonight there will be a feast," she raises her hand to stop everyone from cheering again, "that is, the best we can do under the circumstances. The festivities will take place at the ancient city town square on the main Island. Shuttles will leave here at early sunset. I'd also like to remind everyone that tomorrow we plan our attack on the new Death Star and Snoke. So I expect you all to be up bright and early."

There is a hush over the crowd and Leia smiles. "But tonight, we celebrate!"

Applause break out and Leia pats my shoulder before stepping down the platform to join the others. I step down too, hoping to get lost in the crowd, but the friendly faces single me out, looks of awe, respect and pity, even some tears. None of which I deserve. My stomach tightens. I try to push through the crowd to get away from them. A young Resistance Fighter stops me and shakes my hand. I'm not even clear as to what they think I did or why they believe I deserve recognition, but I smile and shake hands anyway, not wanting to ignore them.

Then I spot Finn up on a step, looking out over the crowd. My shoulders relax and I wave to him. His face brightens when he sees me. He waves back and hurries down the steps to meet me. It doesn't take him as much effort to move through the crowd as it does me.

"Want to get out of here?" he says.

"Yes please," I sigh in relief.

* * *

"Wow, thank you." I take the plate of food out of Finn's hands. There are so many colours and it all looks so pretty I don't want to ruin it by eating it. We're back at my sleeping chamber, away from the crowd in the dining hall. I didn't want to join the others so Finn offered to bring some food back to my room.

"I brought you a little of everything," Finn says, smiling proudly.

"You didn't have to," I say, smiling back. "But thank you."

I set the plate down on the small table in the corner. There are no chairs in the room so I stand, picking up a tiny sandwich with a small marine animal in-between the bread.

"That one's great," Finn says. He leans down and grabs the edges of the stone table, lifting it with some effort.

"Finn, it's fine..." I start to say but he's already carried the table over to the bed.

"Here, come sit down and eat," he says. I walk over, still holding the tiny sandwich.

"Aren't you going to try it?" Finn takes a seat on the bed at the other side of the small table.

"I wish I had your energy," I say, taking a seat as well. I plop the sandwich into my mouth. The meat is chewy, then crunchy in the middle where I assume the bones are. It tastes salty, but has a hint of sweet aftertaste. There's another one on the plate.

"Do you want the second one?" I ask Finn.

"No, no." He puts up his hands. "I'm full. I tried every piece of food in the dining hall, twice, to make sure it was good enough for your plate."

I'm not sure how to respond to that so I play around with my food, trying to decide what to eat next.

"Oh, I didn't get you a drink!" Finn gets up.

"No, it's fine..." I start to say, but he's already gone. The tiny fish sandwich in my stomach has sparked my appetite so I pick up the second one and shove it into my mouth. There are desserts on the plate too and I test my ability to resist temptation by leaving the chocolate covered dessert for last.

By the time I finish all but the chocolate dessert Finn returns, out of breath. He hands me a mug of water, which I'm sure was full before he ran here to give it to me.

"Thank you," I say, drinking it gratefully. I finish the glass in seconds, wishing there was more.

"Should I get you more?" Finn asks, taking the mug from my hand.

"No," I shake my head. "I'm fine. Thanks for helping me avoid the crowds."

There's a moment of silence and I wring my hands in my lap beneath the table. The chocolate dessert looks delicious but I don't want to eat it in front of Finn for some reason. I'll save it for later.

Finn rubs the back of his neck, looking down at the table. He is wearing plain clothes too but has Poe's leather jacket over the shirt. It suits him. Thinking of Poe makes me think of BB-8 and suddenly I want to see her again.

"Do you want to take a nap?" Finn asks.

"No!" I say too quickly, and a little too loudly.

Finn gives me a small grin. "Okay. Do you want to go down to the ocean side?"

"Sorry." I wipe my hands on my pants. "I think I'm going to go see how BB-8 is doing."

"She's fully charged and seems repaired as far as I could tell," Finn says. "They're probably just shining her up. You really care about that droid, don't you?"

I nod and my throat clenches with emotion, burning so I can't speak.

"Poe asked BB-8 if she'd like to join him again, in one of the fighter planes on our next mission," Finn continues. "But BB-8 said no, she wants to stay by your side."

I nod, still unable to talk.

"And she insists everyone call her a 'she' now."

I smile then get up quickly, needing to move around. Last night's dream of Kylo and my vision have left me feeling raw. There's no one I can talk to about it. I don't know Finn well enough yet. But I want to talk to BB-8. She hasn't said anything to anyone about our time with Kylo and I get the sense she understands there's a differing of opinion among the Resistance concerning him. I'm glad she's getting fixed up, but I can't help but feel edgy when we're separated.

Finn stands too, pulling the table aside so I have more room to walk, but it really isn't necessary. Yet I admire his desire to be helpful and polite. "Would you like me to go with you?" he offers.

I shake my head. "I'll just check in on BB-8. I can meet you at the transport shuttle at sunset."

"Sure," Finn says, but is no longer smiling. I bite my lip. Did I hurt his feelings? He looks as though he's about to say something, then seems to change his mind. "I'll see you tonight," he finally says, then walks out of the room.