I sit up slowly, my aching muscles telling me this is all too real. I look around for BB-8 but she's not by the bench. I jump up and whip around, looking in every direction, my tiredness completely forgotten. "BB-8!"
"She's not here," Kylo says. His presence penetrates my very being. I don't turn to look at him.
"You can't be here," I say. "And what do you mean BB-8 is gone?"
"Droids don't dream," Kylo says.
I turn to face him. "Dream?"
He smiles and my heart aches. Tears rush to my eyes, making them burn. I've never seen Kylo's expression so calm. He comes closer, the fog moving around his cape as he walks. He steps out from the shadows. He's not wearing his back uniform but a dark blue one instead. The colour contrasts with his pale complexion and dark hair, making him look all the more striking.
His glance travels over me and suddenly my night gown feels invisible. I hug my arms around my chest and look down. But I'm not wearing my sleeping gown, rather, an evening gown that flows around me, also a midnight blue colour, like Kylo's. It reflects the dim light in the room, making the fabric sparkle like twinkling starlight.
I run my hand over the dress. "I don't understand," I whisper. "I'm quite certain I'm awake."
Kylo closes the gap between us and takes my hand in his. It feels warm and familiar to touch.
"This is a different kind of dream," he says, his eyes searching mine. "We're in it together."
I have to know more. I have to know what he's thinking, what he means by all this. I close my eyes and center in on the Force inside of me. It gets easier each time I use it. But now it isn't even there. I let out a small gasp. There's no Force, no power, nothing... I open my eyes wide.
Kylo rests his hands on my shoulders and leans his forehead against mine. I tense up and my heart races at how close we are.
"I can't read you," I say.
"You don't need to," Kylo whispers, his breath against my cheek. "You're inside my mind."
"Or you're inside mine," I say.
Kylo straightens and looks around the spacious room. "I've never seen this place before."
I blink, trying to imagine a reality outside of this one, more real than this moment, but I can't. How will I ever wake, if I feel more awake here than in the real world?
"I'm not going to tell you where I am," I say.
"I won't ask you to." Kylo offers his hand to me and I take it. He's not smiling anymore as he leads me to a curtain that wasn't there before, with bright lights behind it. I squint as we near it. He moves the curtain aside and I look in.
I gasp, covering my mouth with my hand. The doctors in the room don't take any notice of us. They're operating on a patient, in a very sterile looking room. The patient is Kylo. I turn away, shutting my eyes tight.
"It looks worse than it really is," Kylo says beside me. The bright lights of the surgical room fade away behind my closed eyelids and darkness settles around us again.
I open my eyes. The hospital room is gone and the dining room is as well. We're in Kylo's cave again on Yavin_4 now. Candles dance in the cool breeze coming from the cave entrance. The sweet musky smell of Yavin_4 brings back a wave of memories. Everything is exactly as I remember it, even the unwashed bowls with traces of our last bread pudding breakfast left in them.
I look down and notice that I'm wearing my black clothes. "Kylo?" I turn and see he's sitting on the side of the bed, without a shirt on, just like my first night here.
"Is this a memory?" I think out loud.
Kylo looks up at me from the bed, his eyes dancing in the candle light, a half grin on his face. "No." He pats the bed, beckoning me over. I go over and sit down so close to him that our arms brush.
"The cave is in our memory," Kylo continues, his deep voice filling me, "but we're making a new memory now."
"Could we have met in dreams before too?"
"If you would ever sleep," Kylo gives me a sideways glance. "How did they get you to go to bed? Did you faint in exhaustion?" Suddenly his eyes go dark.
My cheeks flare up. I press my lips together tight. I will not acknowledge the thought he just had. "They gave me a sedative."
"Same with me," Kylo says, his expression lightening up. I stare off into the distance, trying not to notice his bare chest and broad shoulders. But there's nothing else to really look at. I glance down at the bedside table where both of our light sabers lie, side by side. The cave feels incomplete without BB-8 and I need to get away...
"I want to wake up," I say, "to make sure BB-8 is okay."
"She's guarding you as you sleep," Kylo says softly. I risk a glance at him. His hair hangs into his eyes and I resist the urge to move it off his forehead. Instead I grip the edge of the make-shift mattress with both hands.
"You seem different," I say. "More relaxed."
"I am," Kylo avoids looking at me. "Snoke doesn't let me sleep."
"What?"
Kylo looks down at the rock floor. "He knows in my sleep he has no influence over me, no hold on my mind, so he keeps me from dreaming."
"But, you're dreaming now."
"I'm on the operating table."
My shoulders slump and my throat gets tight, making it hard to swallow. "Will you be okay?"
"I'm fine. They're fixing some shattered ribs." Kylo's hands are gripping the edge of the mattress tightly too, I stifle a grin. He looks over at me, then down at my lips.
"I don't know how long the surgery will take," he continues. "But after that, I don't think Snoke will let me fall into any more deep sleeps." He swallows, looking away. "I don't know when I'll see you again. I don't know where you are."
I gather my hair into a pony tail, lifting it off my neck, using the distraction to take time to think. Should I tell him where I am? Will he ever be free of Snoke while awake? Kylo hands me a hair elastic and I smile, taking it from him. "Where did you find this?"
He reaches his hand up and grips my hair, then sets it gently to rest on my shoulder. I let my hands drop, all the emotions I've been fighting off hit me all at once.
"You left me in the interrogation chair." I start crying, unable to hold it back. "You kicked BB-8..."
"Rey," Kylo's eyes turn sad and my heart clenches. What am I doing? Why am I blaming him when he was under Snoke's influence? "Why can't you break away from him?" My bottom lip quivers and I turn away.
"If I do, I'll die."
"What?" My breath catches.
Kylo rubs at his eyes, his shoulders slumping. "Promise me you won't use the sword."
"Your light saber? It's locked away."
"Good."
"But I need to take it to-"
"No," Kylo says sternly. "Don't take it in your hand. Don't touch it."
"But-"
"Promise me," his expression is so serious all my words catch in my throat and I simply nod my head. "You need to kill Snoke. need to do it."
"No..."
"Yes. It's better if I die, than be Snoke's pawn forever."
"No!"
Kylo grabs my shoulders. "Rey, look at me!"
I can't. I press my palms to my ears to block out his words and shake my head. "Don't say it."
Kylo moves my hands away. I try to resist but he's stronger. "I thought I'd be more powerful with you. That I could break away from Snoke, because your hold seemed stronger than his."
"My hold-?"
"But I was wrong, and I almost took you to Snoke-"
"Don't," I say. "Please."
"Rey, listen to me. I've seen a vision," he stops, running his hands through his hair. "A vision from the Force... I saw you, turning to the Dark Side." His eyes grow dark. "Don't let that happen."
I shake my head. "No... I'd never."
"Don't say never." Kylo's hands are now clasped with mine, our fingers interlaced.
"Then you shouldn't say never either," I say, gripping his hands tight.
Kylo gives me a questioning look. Then his expression changes.
"You should wake up now," he says, letting go of my hands.
"Why?" He's right that I don't have to read his mind here, in this dream. His almost shy turning away of his face tell me enough. "Kylo?" I touch his cheek, to turn him to look at me again.
He grabs my wrist. "Just wake up."
"No."
"Why won't you ," he says between clenched teeth.
"Because you can't mind control me while we're in here."
"Attachments are forbidden." Kylo's eyes search mine as we both now seem to be at a loss for words.
I pull on the ends of my hair, twirling the pieces on my finger. Kylo moves my hand away and slips his fingers behind my head, running them through my hair. The touch sends a tingling sensation down my spine to the small of my back, making me arch forward. His other arm pulls me hard against him and he presses his lips to mine. I hold back a whimper. My hands push against his chest but he pulls me tighter against him and my legs lift up, wrapping around his waist.
"Rey..." he sighs against my lips. His hand clenches a fistful of my hair as he deepens the kiss. This time I do whimper and a moan escapes Kylo.
A loud zap startles us both and we jump away from the bedside table. Our light sabers have lit up on their own on, the red and blue sparking against each other, sending flares of heat flying towards the side of my face. I scream and Kylo holds me back.
Suddenly the red light saber flies through the air, almost hitting us. I spin around to see where it's flying to. A dark figure catches it, in the corner of the room, dressed in a Sith Lord's cloak, with glowing red eyes. The Sith Lord holds the light saber up in the air, anger and hate flashing in his eyes... her eyes. The dark Sith Lord holding Kylo's sword, is me.