Ahch-To, Part 1

"BB-8," I whisper and she turns her little head to me. I'm lying down in the most comfortable bed I've ever been in. A breeze blows the sheer curtains in. The large archway windows have no glass but are open to the sky. Many shades of sunset orange glisten through. We're on Ahch-To, where the original Jedi Temple is and the ancient city once was. Now, some of the islands serve as a second Rebel base location for troops to rest and eat when needed.

The Temple is on another Island near this one and I haven't seen it. There are many Islands on this planet of endless ocean. This one houses the living quarters of the ancient Jedi monks, a castle of white sand stone and pillars, archways and open rooms, built into the sharp mountain edges of the rock island. There's no escaping the sound of the waves below, it lulls me to sleep. I shake my head to push away the drowsiness.

"I can't lay here anymore," I say to BB-8. "I'll fall asleep."

"Isn't that what General Leia wants you to do?" she asks.

"Yes, well..." I swing my bare legs over the side of the bed "She's not the one that has to dream my dreams if she falls asleep."

BB-8 bleeps in her questioning tone but I don't feel like explaining it to her. My bare feet touch the cool tiles on the floor. The smooth marble floors run all throughout the hallways and archway bridges that connect the gathering space and dining hall and other rooms of this castle-like residence in the middle of the ocean.

"The sun just doesn't want to set," I say, squinting towards the East, where the sun is still persisting.

"It doesn't fully set in this season on Ahch-To," BB-8 explains. "It circles around the horizon."

I smile. This planet understands me, not wanting night to ever come.

"Want to go explore this dark castle a bit?" I say to BB-8. She does a little spin and I take that as a yes.

* * *

The pillars in the main hall lie in shadows, silhouetted by the fading sunset in the sky. The other end of the hall billows with fog that spills through the open air balcony, onto the marble tiles. My bare feet stick to the smooth marble as I walk. The sleeping gown I was given flows like the sheer fabric of the curtains on the windows, so light and airy that I feel naked.

The entire fortress on this island is a striking combination of old and new. Old pillars and crumbling white stone walls, new marble floors and potted plants in various places. I walk around the large plants, keeping away from them. Their earthy smell of the dirt and roots reminds me too much of being in the forest on Yavin_4 with Kylo. My heart aches whenever I think of him.

I turn my attention to the sounds of the ocean waves crashing on the rocks far down below. The salty moisture in the air leaves a sweet taste in my mouth and mattes my free flowing hair to my face. I refused food when we arrived, but now that everyone is finally gone to their rooms and no one is looking at me, and asking me questions, I sure wouldn't mind something to eat. Some fast rising bread from home, or a spoonful of that sweet bread pudding Kylo made for me during our days together would be nice.

I shake my head to dispel the memories.

"BB-8, can you take me to the dining hall? I don't remember the way. Maybe there's some food left over on the tables."

BB-8 zooms ahead and I follow after her, my feet slapping the marble tiles. Now that we've made some distance between us and the sleeping area I'm no longer worried about tiptoeing around.

The dining hall faces away from the never ending sunset, towards the cloudy side of the island, sitting in dark shadows. I see the outline of bowls left on the long dining table, filled with fruit. I grab for a promising looking piece of fruit that I don't recognize.

"You couldn't sleep either?" The voice startles me and I drop the fruit back into the bowl, which clatters on the table.

"General Leia," I gasp. "I didn't see you there."

"Don't worry," she smiles at me. "I'm glad you're here. Please, have a seat." She pats the chair beside her and I take a seat.

"You're not sleeping well?" I ask, smoothing out my flowing gown as I sit up straight in front of the General.

"Go ahead and eat." She gives me an encouraging grin. But now that I'm closer I can see the tiredness in her eyes.

"You're worried about Kylo?" I say softly. She frowns and looks towards the windows. I shouldn't have asked. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business."

"It is your business," she says, then sighs. "I won't bombard you with questions this late at night, but tomorrow we'll talk about Ben." She takes a deep breath. "And we'll discuss strategy with the others." She gets up. "I'm boiling some water, how about a tea?"

I nod, returning her smile as best I can, but my stomach tightens at the thought of a long conversation over tea with Kylo's mother. I suppose it's better than sleeping and having my dreams. After all I've been through recently I don't want to risk the nightmares. I'm always afraid I'll never wake from them.

The quiet around me is eerie and my tired mind begins to imagine shapes of cloaked monks in every pillared corner. I rub at my eyes. . Surely the ghosts of all the murdered Jedi Knights haunt these white castle walls...

I slide the damp strands of my hair, sticking to my forehead, away from my face. I don't suppose a place like this would have hair elastics.

"Here we are," Leia says, returning with two clay mugs of tea. I take one gratefully, wrapping my chilled fingers around its heat. I breathe in the exotic aroma.

"Where's Kylo's light saber?" I ask, trying to make it sound casual. She takes a seat beside me and clears her throat.

"It's locked away safely in a chamber. It's dangerous. No one should ever use it, especially not someone gifted with the Force."

I nod. Now isn't the time to get into what I intend to do with the light saber. She's right, it is dangerous and I'm glad it's locked away. It would be so easy to be tempted to use it, even by accident, in self-defense.

I blow on my tea, closing my eyes at the warm scents. "He still has goodness left in him," I say softly, clenching the clay mug even tighter.

Leia doesn't respond, so I look up at her. She's blinking back tears.

"I'm more tired than I thought," she says, giving me a polite smile. "I think I'll take my tea back to my room."

"Of course," I get up when she does. "Thank you for the tea." I give a small bow and she sets a hand on my shoulder.

"Tomorrow I want to celebrate your safe return. But for now, go rest, gather your strength." Her words strike me in the chest. The words I heard at my weakest moment, come back to me,

Leia leaves and I sit back down. How will I ever be able to tell when it's morning, with the forever sunset on this planet? If I stay at the dining hall, all the early-risers will meet me with a lot of questions, about Kylo and my time as his 'prisoner' as everyone is calling it. I finish off the tea quickly and get up from the chair. I can hear a water fall or river nearby and I want to go find it.

My legs feel weak as I walk, my chest growing heavy.

"Are you okay?" BB-8 beeps.

"I just need to sit down a minute," I say. My eyes burn and I sniffle, feeling dizzy and unlike myself. I spot a bench facing toward the foggy archway windows, where the ocean continues to crash against the rocks down below and splashes of water sprinkle onto the balcony.

I walk over, my knees getting weaker by the second, and sit down.

"BB-8, something's wrong with me."

"Maybe you're sleepy from the sleep-inducing tea the General gave you," she says.

I groan. . I want to be angry, to tell BB-8 to hurry and get me a wakening morning drink, but I'm already drifting off. I lay on my side. The sound of the waves capture all my senses, the salty smell, the feel of the breeze on my skin, the taste of moisture in my mouth and the damp fabric of my nightgown sticking to my body.

"Just like you imagined it each night before going to sleep on Jakku," a low, familiar voice says. I open my eyes. Kylo is standing in the fog in front of me. I blink a couple times.

"Kylo?"