After The War

I wake, from the same dream I have every night, Kylo Ren's eyes looking at me. He's reading my mind, reaching out for me, for my thoughts, all of them, every private moment, every fear... and then I reach out my hand too and the door he's opened to my mind is also open to his.

I see his thoughts, his fears, only this time it's not that he's afraid of failing his grandfather, Darth Vader, but he's afraid that my power of the Force equals his, or may possibly surpass his with some training. And I'm afraid too, of the exact same thing, the responsibility that it would entail, the wars I would have to fight to save the Galaxy from the Dark Side.

Then our fingers touch, surprising both of us, and a power, stronger than the Force that is within us separately, ignites. It is so strong that I know we're more powerful together than anything or anyone in all space and time, even greater than Snoke. It's terrifying and I wake screaming, which startles BB-8 who rests beside my bed as I sleep.

That's how I wake this morning too, startling BB-8 and not giving her any explanation as to what I've been dreaming about. BB-8 watches me and I try to ignore her. She's usually quite chatty, except for when she's trying to figure me out. I think she sees me as her new master, now that Poe left for a flight mission and asked me to take care of her for him. Well I like to think BB-8 is a 'she' even though most BB units havemasculine programming. She's already becoming my BB-BFF (BB-unit Best Friend).When I asked her if she was a boy or a girl she said she didn't know.

I wipe the sweat from my forehead. "Come on BB-8, let's get some sunshine shall we?" I nod to the door and BB-8 rolls ahead of me, clunking over the doorway. It amazes me how she is able to keep upright, even when fumbling down stairs. I step outside too.

The sun is just rising over the horizon, reminding me of the Starkiller Base after it exploded, with Kylo Ren on it. Two weeks have passed since my light saber battle with Kylo Ren and yet it feels like light years ago. I can still see the blood coming out from his side. It's an image forever seared in my brain, like his eyes and his hand reaching out to me when he held me captive at his base. He was hurt when we fought, his red blood, red like mine or anyone else's, splashed onto the white snow at his feet. Would I have still won if it had been a fair battle?

I shake my head and push the thoughts away, looking out across the dessert. He's gone now and none of that matters anymore. The sand stretches out to the horizon, shimmering with the promise of another hot day. I take a seat at the front of my house, the foot of an old All Terrain Armored Transport vehicle. The only home I've known since I was 6 years old.

I'm right back where I started, before everything happened. Before I discovered I have the Force so powerful within me. Yet here, nothing has changed. The markings I made still cover the wall inside, there is even powder left over for the instant rising loaf I had on my last morning spent here.

"It's like I never left," I say to BB-8.

"But I'm here now, so it's different," BB-8 replies in her little beeps.

"You're absolutely right BB-8," I say. "And today is going to be a wonderful day. A great and average and boring day on Jakku. Just like yesterday."

BB-8 sticks out her little lighter and lights it, in a "thumbs up" motion she learned from Finn. I smile, squinting into the sun. It rises fast, dispelling all thoughts of Kylo Ren's eyes and his haunting voice, replacing those dark thoughts with the brightness of a new day.