Chapter 3: Alone

After I was taken away from the truck and was roughly taken to a room in what seemed more on the lines of a big cabin house in a part that had less forest surrounding it. Once I was put in the door closed before I could even turn my head to react. I feel like I'm being treated more like a prisoner being thrown into a cell and feeling the silence was almost unnatural.

I looked around the room and tried to take it in, since I am locked in here I kinda have no choice. I held onto my straps of my duffel bag with my hands as I slowly took a few steps as I observed. The room had white tile floors and black walls, with a ceiling that was almost juxtaposed to the floors. The room seemed to be multi-functional then just as a bedroom. I noticed the only things on the walls was a TV screen and a banner that seemed to have the Black Sun pack symbol on it. The symbol seemed to resemble an eclipse but as I drew my attention away from it, I noticed that to the left of it seemed to be a door and one to the right of it. I opened the door on the left slightly and then noticed it was Leo's closet. It had mostly normal t-shirts of white, black, and grey. I noticed a couple were actually golden colored. It seemed less luxurious and extravagant. It was more modest than you'd expect but then I still remembered that this bedroom still seemed like a expensive sweet.

I closed the closet because I just want to leave everything the way it is, since this isn't my room and I don't want anything to make Leo have a reason to be mad at me. As an Alpha, no as a person in general I have to respect their personal space and things. The room had a couch that was kinda like a sofa, in the corner was what looked like huge king-sized bed. It had white pillows and sheets. In the corner of the room looked like a desk that had a lot of papers and a couple stacks of books at the base. I walked through the open door on the left of the desk and noticed I had walked into a bathroom. It had a stand in glass shower with black tiling on the floor and sides of it. There was a black tub, the floors had grey tiling and white walls. The sink top was the same black as the shower. This bathroom only made his bedroom a lot more than what most people could get and it made me feel more out of place. Once I walked out of it and realized that I had delayed my thoughts and feelings as much as I could. There was nothing left to distract me from the differences between here and home.

I feel so exposed in this room and I can't run away from this place. I feel like I just want to disappear from this place, this moment, and from what is to await me. I slowly walked to the sofa and sat down holding my bag in my arms. I kept my head down trying not to look at what was inside as I waited for when Leo would return. Before I knew it I herd the door start to unlock and I herd the door opened. I kept my eyes looking down at my feet, because I was nervous to look up. I herd him close the door and he walked in front of me. I didn't say a word, I wasn't having a problem with being submissive. Because this probably how I'd react if I had met him in any other situation. He's an Alpha, so naturally I'm fairly worried.

He didn't say anything for a while as I could feel him staring down at me from above which didn't help make me feel better at all. But then I felt a hand touch my cheek. This startled me as it moved to lift my chin up making me look up at Alpha Leo. I felt my face starting to heat up from embarrassment. He seemed to be looking at my face almost intently which made me very self-conscious and confused.

" What's your name? " he asked almost like a request but his stern voice made it seem more like an order.

" My name is Autumn Miller,..I'm from...the Blue Moon pack. " I said quietly as I grasped onto my bag trying to keep my eyes down from looking at him in the eye. But then I felt him slowly release my face letting me lower it.

" Well Autumn, I'm truly thankful to the Moon Goddess for sending me my mate. " I didn't look at his face but I could hear a genuinely thankful tone in his voice which caught me by surprise a little. I tried not to show my face heating up slightly when he said the word mate. I did remember that mates could reject each other, and you'd think that I'd be happy at the possibility of him not wanting me and me being able to be free. No matter how much I wish I can just be rejected and go back to my life and be with my family. Have a chance to never be picked after that and I can have control over my life, and have a chance to really fall in love with someone and find happiness. Like with how despite my mother being put threw this she still was able to find my Dad and be happy. I want that chance, and the chance for my family to be a part of my happiness, but based on that statement and the fact that he holds his religious beliefs so strongly that that was not going to happen. A part of me liked the idea of someone wanting me, but that made the idea of being free with the same painful thought. Because I didn't think anyone human or not would want me in a relationship sense, so it only made the idea of having a life with someone else an already given up dream after hearing those words.

" Well...I am sorry then. " I said quietly because I felt I have to choose what I say carefully now that he was listening intently " Because....I don't want to...be part of something that's one sided. " I stopped there and started to regret what I was saying. I felt this way and I truly do feel sorry for him because he already made his intentions clear and I didn't want to hurt the guy. Then I felt him put his arm on the sofa to the right of my head, his right on the sofa next to where I was sitting. He started to lean his head closer to mine making it impossible to not look at him as it was made clear he didn't want me to move and to know that I am trapped.

" Are you trying to reject me? " I looked at his face and noticed his eyes were turning a little black as his face was glaring at me as he said following what he had said

" Because I'm NOT letting you go! " his voice was sounding dead serious. It made me feel scared but my frustration of being talked to like this made me retort back

" Why not?! " I started to turn my head to the side so I didn't have to be directly looking in his face as I could feel tears of frustration starting to build up as I continued feeling the situation was unfair

" I'm sorry If your feelings are being hurt right now. But agreeing to a relationship that you don't feel anything for the other person isn't fare. It'd be me lying to the both of us..." I kept myself from crying in front of him just trying to look away from his face. He seemed almost taken aback by my words he didn't respond. I closed my eyes tightly just starting to feel the impact of my own words making this silence unbearable. But then I opened my eyes quickly once I felt his left hand starting to wipe away my tears. I felt my eyes slowly glanced at Leo. His eyes weren't black anymore, but I noticed his face looked softened and almost saddened. It was surprising. Especially his striking golden eyes that held a similar sadness and concern in them. I slowly moved my head strait and I noticed he was slowly moving his face a little back from mine. He kept his gaze centered on my face and I felt myself stop crying all together.

" Having a mate is what makes you stronger. A mate is supposed to be what makes you stronger, but it makes them your weakness. " he sounded calm but for an Alpha this way he's acting is so surprising and out of character for one. But then I felt his left hand was being held caressing my cheek as I felt him rest his forehead against mine. He was staring right into my eyes and I couldn't look away.

" That is why..I need you to be my mate. " His golden eyes were soft but for a second it almost sounded like he was pleading but he wasn't. When he closed his eyes and pulled himself away and stood up strait was when I looked down again. I felt confused and then I moved my bag off of my lap and slowly stood up from the sofa. I felt less nervous now for some reason but still felt like I was about to buckle and break.

" O-Okay then...Alpha. " He scanned me up and down making me feel really self-conscious as my face started to heat up. I kept my head down but then he said sounding like he did before as he walked to the door and finished when closing it

" Then we will have the Luna ceremony tomorrow, I have a few girls who live in the pack house. They'll assist you in getting ready. During the ceremony I will have to mark you as mine and the true Luna. "

I felt my legs buckle under me as I collapsed to the floor my face beginning to be stained with the tears that rushed down. I knew too well what was going to happen, but I fond it hard to cry silently as I covered my face with my hands. I heard my lungs heaving as I felt myself completely become mortified. I learned it in school, but I...I never would have tried to put myself in that position. I knew that after being marked I would go into heat. Heat happens to an Alpha's mate, it was a growing intense pain that would happen until.....until you mated for the first time. It was said that it was to ensure there would be an heir to take over for the pack. The thought of it made me tremble as I felt myself cry out uncontrollably. My bag moved slightly and made a couple things fall out. One I spotted was a picture that I took with me, it had me and Summer from when we were fourteen. We were both in dresses and were smiling.

I felt my right hand shaking as I reached and grabbed it. In that picture was from before I learned about how cruel the world is. Are smiling faces, were so pure and free. It made me sob as I felt so envious of how free they looked, how happy, and it made me feel even more empty inside. The picture had some tears on it, for once I was glad that Summer wasn't with me. Because I doubt I'd ever be able to face her like this even if I did see her again, and that made me feel worse. I'm alone in this big room with my thoughts that kept hitting me as I sat on the cold tile floor. It must have been hours till the tears finally ran out. I felt cold and tried to slowly pick myself up off the floor, my legs and feet felt numb which made them hurt when I moved and tried to stand on them. I just want to have my life back, I want to have my family back.

But as I sat on the sofa I wiped my face and eyes. Just then the door opened and a guard was carrying a plate of food that I guess was my dinner. He merely handed it to me and said before leaving abruptly

" Luna, " I looked down at the food and found myself sigh at the fact that until now that was the only person I've had in here in a long time. I didn't feel very hungry at all, but I guess if I don't eat something then it might look like I'm starving myself. So, I ate what I had and even though I didn't feel welcomed here, I at least felt a little wanted. I thought about how the day had been a very long one, and I had gotten dirty from moving around in that truck. I grabbed a towel and some hygienic things from my bag which I placed on the counter near the sink.

I closed the door and took a shower the hot water made my body warm up again and relaxed me a bit. Once I was done and I dried myself off I herd a sound in the bedroom. I peaked the door open slightly to look, and I saw that he was opening his closet and was looking fast left and right down.

" Alpha?...." I said timidly wondering what he was looking for. He froze and quickly turned his head towards the door which I opened a little more to take a step out and asked nervously

" What are you looking for?" He took a couple steps towards the door but stopped once he saw me in only a towel, which made his eyes turn black. This made me heat up from embarrassment of what he's probably thinking. They were so black that it made me try and hide behind the door by closing it a little.

" Stay where I can see you! " I felt myself say nervously " Why? I mean, I've been alone for a while. So, why do I have to stay in sight if no one is around? " I noticed his eyes turned back to normal but he sniffed the air before he was going to respond. Then he walked out of view making me lean out of the doorway and then he said throwing something at my head.

" Wear one of my shirts to bed, but..just don't leave this room. " I took the shirt off of my face, but even though I wanted to wear my own clothes I brought to bed. But I had already worried him and it wasn't going to mean anything If I wear it. I closed the door and put on a bra and underwear. I pulled the big black t-shirt over me and put on a pair of black pajama pants on. I thought about how he was checking the closet for me. To be honest, that's probably where I'd be if I wanted to be alone and where no one could stumble upon me as I think. The shirt was a little big for me to where it hung over my thighs. It took a while to brush my hair and dry it enough. I opened the door slightly taking in the room. I noticed that Leo had changed into a black t-shirt and shorts that went to his knees. I held onto the door handle and felt my hair drape over my shoulders as I noticed he was sitting by his desk that had a desk lamp on. He looked up once I turned the bathroom light off and then returned to doing some paperwork.

I didn't feel like sleeping anytime soon, so I walked up to his desk which made him look up again.

" Um...do you think I can...read one of your books before I go to sleep? " he seemed a little surprised by me asking but he said it was fine. I ended up grabbing the one on the desk. I walked with it in my hands till I reached the right side of the bed. I didn't like the idea of sleeping in it, so I grabbed one of the blankets and a pillow and laid down on the sofa. I knew that he noticed but I didn't really think I could sleep at all if I was in that bed. I looked threw the first chapter and I realized it was about the Moon Goddess. So out of all the books...I chose the one that's basically the werewolves bible. Since we didn't really learn about the Moon Goddess in school all that much, and what Leo said made me even more curious to learn more about her.

As I read on and got the creation of the werewolves done. I started to learn about the reason they had mates. I felt surprised when I read the exact same thing Leo told me about mates earlier today.

I contemplated this Moon Goddess, and if she is real then why insist that human's have to pay the price for the growth of a pack? If she spent time pairing me Leo then where? where is the sign of reassurance that she was right? I continued and eventually like with all big books and bibles, I fell asleep.

But after a while I felt something on my face but kept sleeping soundly. I woke up to someone shaking my arm gently. I opened my eyes and when they adjusted I found my face heating up at the thought that he saw me sleeping. Leo looked like he was smiling awkwardly.

" Oh, good morning, Alpha. " I felt myself almost stutter but because I was feeling humiliated. I then realized that the book I was reading last night was gone. I thought about it and ended up concluding that Leo checked to see If I had gone to sleep yet. Then he noticed the book and took it leaving me to sleep. It was a nice thought but it also made me feel even more embarrassed that I was vulnerable and open laying here. Then I remembered what is to happen today and it made me feel like I'd take sleeping all day instead easily.