29. His True Feelings

"So this was where you grew up?" Itachi asked as we both stood side by side in the snowy night staring at what used to be my home.

"Yeah, but it became abandoned when I was taken by Orochimaru" I said quietly, my eyes ran over the details of the small rundown cottage that used to be called home. Windows were broken, the walls were dirty and covered in spiderwebs and the snow had started to accumulate on the roof.

All of a sudden I felt Itachi's warm hand interlock with mine and my heart stopped for a split second, I quickly looked up to see him looking straight forward.

"Let's go inside" he said coldly, before I had a chance to reply I felt him leading me towards the front door, his hand still holding gently onto mine. He pushed open the front door and took a step into the dishevelled lounge room, I took a deep breath in and felt Itachi let go of my hand.

"It's such a mess..." I whispered in disbelief before slowly walked over to the open kitchen and looked around, there was dust and dirt covering everything.

"Looks like the only thing left here is tea," Itachi says as he brushed up beside me and lifted the tea box off the shelf. I watched as he filled the kettle with water and started to pull out some tea leaves,

"Itachi?" I asked in astonishment and he gave me a small smile.

"Would you like a cup too?"

".. Yeah, why not," I bit my lip slightly, Itachi had a good way of breaking awkward tension. It was nice of him to bring me here and I thought about what Sasuke had said about him killing his entire clan. It was hard to believe, it was even harder to believe that Sasuke wanted nothing more than to kill his own brother.. I took a seat at the kitchen counter and watched as he slowly poured two cups of tea, he handed one to me and sat down at the counter across from me. I looked down at my cup and watched as the steam gently lifted from the dark grey tea, my mind started to fill with worry and I started to become lost again.

These feeling I had buried deep in the back of my mind and heart were now resurfacing.. The thought of ever having to put myself into that situation again scared me. All of a sudden I felt two fingers tap my forehead lightly, I looked up slowly to see Itachi with a close eyes smile. He opened his big onyx eyes back up and withdrew his hand

"Don't be scared Tila." My eyes widened as I stared into his dark ones

"Itachi, how can you read my mind like that?" I asked now feeling a bit overwhelmed.

"It's written all over your face." He said as he took a sip of his tea.

"What should I do then?" I asked in a whisper, he was right. I was scared and it was because I didn't know what to do.

"You should not regret anything and you should be brave" He gently lowered his cup back onto the table. I sighed as I took a sip of my tea, the warmness filling my stomach as I drank slowly.

"Itachi, can I ask you something?" He nodded.

"Aren't you scared? Sasuke wants to kill you.." I said still in a small whisper of a voice.

"I'm not scared, it's the only way and I've thought about it for a long time" He told me, holding his gaze with mine. His eyes looked so sad, I felt a shiver run through me quickly.

"Did you.. Really kill your own clan?" The question came out without me thinking properly. Oh, how could I ask that..

"I did." There was a small silence.

"It was the only way I could stop my clan from rebelling against the village. If I hadn't then the Uchiha name would have been tainted so I chose to do what was right for my village. I never told this to Sasuke so please keep it to yourself." His deep voice echoed slightly in my mind.

"I will, I promise" I whispered as I looked down, I couldn't bare to meet that cold Uchiha glare.

"But if you were to tell Sasuke then maybe he would change his mind and would take a different path, one that isn't revenge" I said peering up slightly hopeful.

"But, then he would take his hatred out on the village and my decision to take out my entire clan would have still ended up in the same result" he sighs. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked back up

"I suppose you're right, I see what you mean." Itachi nodded gently. We both finished off our tea and decided to head back to the hideout before it got too late. We trudged through the snow, flakes still lightly gliding down from the sky above. All of a sudden I felt my foot get caught on something and I fell flat on my face hitting the soft snow.

"Ow!" I squealed and Itachi quickly looked back, he saw me face first in the snow and started to lightly chuckle.

"Don't laugh! That really hurts!" I pouted as I got back up slowly, he still had a playful smirk upon his lips so I picked up some snow and threw it at him.

'Plonk' the snow had hit his forehead

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked blankly and I started giggling at the serious look on his face.

'Smack' I felt a big blob of snow collide with my face

"Ah!! Don't throw snow at me! That's it your done for!" I giggled even more and I picked up a whole armful of snow and jumped on him, still in a little giggling fit and we both fell back onto the snow. I landed on top of him, all the snow in my arms fell on to his face and covered it completely

"Itachi! Where did you go?!" I joked as I started to move the snow aside uncovering his face. All of a sudden I felt him sit up and I nearly fell backwards so I closed my eyes preparing for impact but I felt his strong arms wrap themselves around my waist, I opened my eyes back up and all I could see was his face inches from mine. A small smirk played on his lips as our eyes met for a second and I saw something inside them. Something I had seen before...

I took a shaky breath in as I realised his lips were only inches from touching my own. Itachi bit his lip ever so slightly before pulling away from me and I felt myself being lifted up, he put me down next to him and stood up, I quickly got up too trying to hide my pink cheeks. That was frighteningly close I thought to myself..

"C'mon we should get back, don't snow fight me again otherwise I won't go easy on you" He says, I looked back up. The colour in my cheeks had disappeared so I gave him a small smile and we headed back to the hideout. We and I went out separate ways as we reached the halls, I slowly started to walk down to my bedroom feeling completely drained.

Oh wait. My room was blown apart! What am I going to do? I groaned mentally, remembering the massive hole, but, as I got closer I saw that the hole had now been covered up.. What? Who fixed it?

Voices were coming from my room so I quickly opened the door.. Deidara and Tobi both looked at me smiling. Well Deidara was, I couldn't see Tobi's face but I could tell he was happy by the way he threw his hands up in the air as soon as he saw me.

"Tila! Tobi and Deidara fixed your room!" He yelled in excitement. He was right, my room looked exactly as it did before it had been blown up!

"Oh wow, this looks amazing," I gawked wide eyed at how pristine it looked.

"Tobi! What the hell are you doing?! Put that down it's Tilas', un!" Deidara yells, I quickly looked back at Tobi. He had opened up my wardrobe draw and put on one of my pink bras over his Akatsuki cloak -

"Tobi!!! Take it off!" I screamed, now blushing profusely at the sight of him in my bra.

"Tobi looks so good in this!" He squealed playfully, I quickly tried to tackle him to the ground but I fell right through him! He ran out the door with his hands in the air still wearing my bra.

"Dei, what the hell is he Tobi doing?" I groaned in annoyance, picking myself back up off the floor. Deidara was standing there gawking in the direction of the doorway, I quickly spun around and saw Kakuzu standing there. He held Tobi high off the ground in one hand and... My bra in the other. This is so embarrassing!!!

"I think this is yours," He said gruffly as he threw the bra my way.

"Thanks." I shyly caught it and quickly stuffed it back into my draw.

"Tobi's sorry! Please don't kill Tobi!" He pleaded with Kakuzu but, he just eyed him angrily before walking off back down the hall with Tobi still tight in his clutches.

"Well, that was weird. hm." Deidara said, taking a seat on my bed sighing.

"Yeah, please don't let Tobi into my room again?" I raised an eyebrow jokingly.

"I won't, so where have you been all day? Hm. I was looking everywhere for you yeah?" Dei questioned curiously.

"I just went out with Itachi to visit my old home, leaders sending me on a mission to gather information and steal some Jutsu from Orochimaru.. I leave tomorrow night," I told him as I took a seat on my bed beside him.

"Orochimaru? Hm. Why'd you go with Itachi to your old place?" He asked, leaning back onto his arm as he looked at me suspiciously.

"I just.. Was having doubts about this mission so Itachi thought going for a walk might put my mind at ease.. It worked so," I said convincingly, but for some reason Deidara just didn't seem his usual self.

"Don't worry about it, everything will be fine and I'll be back before you know it Dei" I chuckled, he smiled back and nodded.

"Fine it's decided, I'm bunking in with you tonight yeah?" He smirked playfully.

"Yeah, okay. I'm going to get ready for bed," I got up to grab some clothes for a shower.

I quickly ran the water and hoped in, I'm glad Dei's going to stay with me tonight. I know Itachi said not to be scared but I couldn't help it. What was I going to say to Sasuke ? Was he even still there? Could I pull the mission off without dying in The process? How was I going to learn the Jutsu and where in the world am I going to find this Madara Uchiha persons DNA?! There were just to many thoughts and questions in my head right now and it was starting to give me a headache so I pushed it all aside and finished up in the bathroom.

I walked back out into my room to find Deidara siting cross legged on my bed moulding some clay.

"What're you making?" I asked, sitting down beside him. He looked back at me then opened up his hand. In his palm sat a beautifully moulded girl with long hair, her frame was petite and she had a smile on her face.

"It's you, un" He said, grabbing my wrist and placing the clay girl into my hand. I stared at it for a moment

"Deidara, I'm not this pretty!" I giggled.

"Yes you are, un." I stopped for a second at what he'd just said and looked up into his crystal clear blue eyes. Before I knew it I felt him lean over me and our lips touched, his soft warm lips kissed gently into mine. I felt my body tingle as his tongue licked my bottom lip. I stopped for a second and pulled away

"Dei, you just kissed me.." I stammered wide eyed. I still couldn't believe what had just happened.. I saw him blush slightly as we sat there on my bed together

"I've liked you for a while Tila, I just couldn't hold back anymore yeah?" He told me as his eyes grazed over my face intently before looking back down at my lips. I suddenly felt heat in my face and quickly covered my cheeks

"I just wasn't expecting you to kiss me like that" I said shyly now looking down trying to avoid his gaze.

"You don't feel the same, do you?" He asked, the tone in his voice dropped slightly. I quickly looked back up to see pain in his eyes

"Dei it's not like that! I just only started getting over Sasori.. I .. Need some time" I whispered. I watched as Deidara sighed, I felt terrible but something inside myself didn't feel right. I had told myself that I was over Sasori but maybe I wasn't? Or maybe I just wasn't expecting him to feel this way about me.. I couldn't lead him on. I knew that once I left for this mission tomorrow night that there was no telling what would happen.

I may not even make it back, Orochimaru might kill me or worse. The last thing I wanted to do was leave Deidara like Sasori had left me..

'Leave everything behind except yourself'

I snapped back out of my thoughts and hugged him tight.

"I care about you Dei, I just don't want anything bad to happen" my voice being muffled by his shirt. I felt him rub my back gently

"I know, it's fine, un." He let go of me again and then he went to the bathroom to take a shower, I hoped into bed and pulled the sheets all the way over me so they sat beneath my chin. I looked over as I heard the bathroom door swing open. Deidara walked out shirtless, his wet long blonde hair was down and sat comfortably around his shoulders. I tried to look away from his gorgeously toned chest but my eyes quickly fell onto the weird tattoo that he had on his right pec.

"What's that?" I asked as he lay down onto my bed and rolled over to face me.

"It's so I can blow myself up, hm." He told me and I slowly trailed my fingers over the circle.

"Why would you want to do that?" I whispered inwardly to myself.

He gave me a small smirk so I quickly retracted my hand and pulled the blanket over my head. I felt the warmth of Deidara's chest against my skin as he pulled me into a hug.

"Get some sleep, you'll need it for tomorrow, un" I heard him say followed by the click of the lamp switch.

"Goodnight Dei" I cuddled into his warmth, I felt his arms tighten around me.

"Goodnight Til" he whispered gently. I closed my eyes, the small tightness in my throat forming.

What am I going to do?