-twenty-one

Jenna's POV

My mouth opened wide at a yawn and a soft sound escaped my lips. One which just had to fucking sound like a moan. With eyes rolled upwards, I stared at the ceiling. Everything for some stupid reason felt different with him. Once again, every thing I tried to do right and different, ended up the same way.

***

"Jenna."

I looked up just in time to see one of the sexiest things my green eyes had even been opportune to see. With a smirk, I chewed on my lower lip and got on my feet. They always came back.

"Harry." I strutted to the counter and grabbed the already halved bottle of whiskey. "Last I heard," I handed him a shot, "you were married."

Harry being Harry smirked and moved closer to me. Without breaking eye contact, he caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers. "Old habits die hard, isn't it?"

I turned around. "It is."

"I hope you're still the same."

My eyes fell to the amber liquid gushing into my shot cup as I tipped the bottle over. "People don't change."

The sound of his footsteps filled my ears and before I could turn around, I felt Harry's hands on my ass. He leaned in so both our bodies were touching and then removed all the hair from my left shoulder. I gulped down my whiskey when his soft lips touched my skin. When his hands slid past my stomach, my eyes shut tightly.

"Stop," I whispered.

His touch felt strange. Unfamiliar. Different.

I should've been used to it, being touched inappropriately. It was my job after all but ever since Ed, I got my well not deserved redemption. I got used to being fucked like an actual human and not some scum on the street. When I motioned to leave his grasp, he held on tighter and pressed against me harder.

"People don't change." Harry repeated my words and sucked on my skin. Then, he started biting. My eyes went to the slim gold bracelet on my wrist Ed got me last Christmas. That, what he was doing, would leave a fucking hickey.

"What'd you need the money for?" Harry asked. He spun me around so I could face him when I stayed quiet.

"That's for me to know and for you to mind your own fucking business, Harry."

Harry hissed and his hands went to my hair. "Careful with me, baby doll." He pulled at my hair so I was looking up at him. I took in a sharp breath at the sudden pain at my roots. "Don't think I forgot."

I yanked his hand off. "You're gonna have to pay triple if you want it rough."

I met his gaze head-on for a few seconds before turning around to pour him another shot of whiskey.

Harry had more respect for me. He would have never dared to raise his voice on a goddess like me, or any woman for that matter. I deserved it. I asked for it when I did what I did. If it were any other guy, I'd probably have been tied to the bed and raped. Not that I'd be complaining.

"Let's get this over with." I gulped down my whiskey and took a deep breath before turning around. I blinked when my eyes caught sight of the hundred dollar bills trailing to where he was seated.

"They said you need the money. I have the money. Think of me as your saviour." I scoffed and motioned to him but he stopped me with his words. "No, doll. Seems like you've forgotten how things go down here."

I met his eyes.

"I want you to pick the money up." His eyes turned harder when I didn't budge. "On your knees. Now."

After a few seconds of silent eye contact, I did as I was told. With one knee after the other, I dropped to the floor and crawled to where he was seated, sticking the bills in my G-string.

I had a choice. I could've got off the floor, slammed his money in his face and got out of the room. After all, I did have a millionaire boyfriend but there were some sick things about my past that I couldn't stop wanting to relive and enjoy.

"Slow down, love." He tilted my face upwards with his fingers when I grabbed his length with gritted teeth. "I still haven't made my children yet."

I rolled my eyes as he flipped his head back in euphoria. Tonight was gonna be a long night.

***

I blinked back into reality when Ed turned to the other side of the room. Something was up. I could feel it in the way he kissed me, the way he fucked me, the way he talked to me and hell! The way he even looked at me. That is, when he decided to even look and speak to me, and not just grunt and point at where the damn remote control was.

"Morning, honey."

Ed mumbled something similar as he sat up from the bed. I did the same and crawled to his back.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I trailed kisses down his back. If he knew half the places my mouth had been, he most certainly wouldn't let me do it ever again.

He scoffed and shook his head a little.

I closed my eyes as a jolt of anger surged through me. "What the fuck, Ed? Say something." The whole silent treatment was getting old and stale at this point.

I watched as Ed slowly got on his feet before he turned to face me. "I don't know, Jenna. You tell me."

My brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"I don't get you anymore. All you think about is sex. I don't understand. I don't satisfy you? Is that it?"

My eyebrows furrowed even more. What was he talking about? "Why would you ever think that?"

"The way you've been acting lately, so different from the woman I fell in love with." His eyes softened a bit. "I just want to enjoy being with you without- without having to tear your fucking clothes off."

I closed my eyes. I could literally feel steam coming out of my ears. "You know where I come from, Ed. You should understand me. I'm not exactly fucking stable!"

"That's the thing, Jenna." He ran his hands over his face. "I'm tired of always understanding you!"

"That's what lovers are supposed to do. Fucking understand each other."

"You know what?" He looked like he just realized something. "I can't. I can't do this right now."

"I'm fucking talking to you, Ed." I yelled when he motioned for the bathroom. "Listen to me!"

He didn't even bother stopping or turning around. "I don't feel like listening right now. You should understand that since lovers are meant to fucking understand each other."

My eyes zeroed in on the door when he slammed it shut. With clenched fists, my eyes went to the vanity mirror. My reflection stared back at me. She looked pathetic with the tears on her cheeks. She looked angry at the fact that she had those tears on her cheeks but worst of all, hidden in the perfect, ex-prostitute girlfriend facade, I could see it crystally. I could see it clawing at her confidence. I could see it rearing its ugly head. I could see fear.

Breathing harder, I grabbed the air conditioner remote control and watched it hit the vanity mirror. Watching the mirror shatter to thousands of irreparable pieces was the only thing that could relieve some of the fucking anger running through my veins. With palms to my head, I sat on the bed and screamed my guts out.

I was slowly losing control. The control I needed to keep going. The control I needed to be with him, both of them. The control I needed to fucking live! Roxy and Ed were my only reasons for existence, the only light at the end of the very dark tunnel. The light which was now slowly but surely extinguishing.

I looked up at Ed when I heard the bathroom door open.

"Is there someone else?"

I let a moment pass with which he just stared at me blankly.

"You fucking cunt!" I was already pounding on his chest. "You're fucking cheating on me!"

"Stop!" he yelled back and held my hands. "Really?" he asked in his normal, calm tone. "You think I'm cheating?"

I bit the insides of my cheek. "What's happening, Ed?"

"I don't know." He shook his head a bit. "Somehow, you've changed. And this new version of you, it's taunting and- and paranoid and cunning."

I looked him straight in the eyes as he spoke. Better to figure out why we were having this fight the fucking morning after I gave him the best head I'd ever given, than to continue living a damn unreal fairytale.

"I feel all you want from me is just my money and sex."

My hands stopped midway through my hair. It took several seconds for me to process what he'd said. And when I did, my entire world came crumbling down. "Just your money and sex?"

Ed shoved tense fingers through his messy, bed hair before looking at me again.

"No." I scoffed and let a humourless laugh escape my lips. "The fact that you're a fucking millionaire doesn't give you the fucking right to fucking say that to me!"

"Billionaire." He didn't break eye contact.

I closed my eyes and let some tears go. I knew it had to do with my past. I knew he still had doubts. Fuck! Everyone still had doubts.

I opened my eyes and finally realized the gravity of the situation. He was actually tired of me. He wanted out. He wanted to jump ship. "So you're tired," I gestured around, "of all this? Of being with me? Of trying to fix me?"

Ed's eyes went to the broken pieces of glass. "I didn't say that."

I scoffed. "You didn't say that?" I walked up to him. "You didn't fucking say that, Ed? Then why the fuck are we having this conversation, dammit!"

Ed looked at me again, probably because of how loud my voice had gotten.

"I thought you loved me. Is this how your love is?" My hand went to my mouth as the pressure in my chest increased. "You're hurting me!"

He looked away again. For some reason, he couldn't meet my eyes.

I shoved our engagement ring in his face after I slid it off my finger. "If you think I don't love you, if you aren't sure about what I feel for you, then why did you fucking give it to me?"

I don't know what set me off even more. The fact that we were having this argument or the fact that he was being so fucking quiet. Either way, I slowly nodded when I realized he wouldn't speak and he wouldn't look at me no matter what I said.

I stared at him one last time and dumped the ring on the table before slamming the door shut on my way out. What a fucking way to start my fucking morning.

*****************************

-C.