5. The penny has dropped

X~~~~X

"Richard?" Martha called after her son, who bolted past her through the living room to disappear into his office, without stopping to answer.

Pulling out a calendar he started counting, again and again. Turning page after page, forward and backward, again and again.

"What are you …," his mother didn't get any further, before her son cut her off.

"40 weeks, right?"

"40 weeks what?" Martha looked confused and slightly worried at his hectic attempts to apparently figure something out in his calendar.

"Pregnany, 40 weeks of pregnancy," he mumbled to himself, finally letting his fingers rest on the 9th of January and the 1st of October.

"Richard? You are worrying me," his mother said, moving closer to his desk. "What's going on?"

"She is mine," he finally breathed, shocked.

"Who?"

"Jamie, I mean Kate's daughter," he paused before speaking the truth out loud, "I'm her father," he stated, staring at his mother, with wide eyes, everything suddenly fell into place.

"Ah, don't be silly. How can you know that anyway?" Martha shook her head, unable to believe what her son just said.

"Mother, 40 weeks. She was born October 1st. Her nanny told me. That is 40 weeks from the night we spent together to her birthday. 40 weeks." He ran his hand over his face, with no idea what to make of the revelation.

"She could have …-," Martha started, but he cut her off yet again.

"No she's not like that," he shook his head vehemently.

"Richard." Her tone was changing, more demanding when she continued. "You don't know the woman. You spent one night with her almost three years ago. You can't know what she is like. You have to at least face the possibility she's not what you've made her out to be in your fantasies."

"You haven't seen the girl, mother. You haven't seen her eyes. My eyes. She has my eyes. I know it's true. She has to be my daughter."

"Then why didn't she tell you? If the girl is your daughter why did she not come to you?" Martha stared him down.

He stared back, trying to stand his ground, but Martha could see his determination was faltering, "I don't know, but she only knew my first name back then and as you pointed out earlier today, I'm not the centre of the universe and not everyone has read my books," he gave her a pointed look, "so maybe she just couldn't find me." His hand ran over his face, "It doesn't matter anyway, it doesn't change the fact that Jamie is my daughter." His voice was certain as he said it again.

Martha sighed, leaning against his desk, to think everything through and after long minutes of silence she looked at him, "And you are absolutely sure?"

Rick nodded. He just knew it was true. It had been bothering him all day and he had finally figured it out, finally put the puzzle together.

"So what are you going to do now?" Martha stated, sitting down in one of the leather chairs, waiting for her son to join her.

He let out a deep breath, sitting down next to her, "I don't know. This is so unexpected."

He was lost in his thoughts for a moment before he continued, "I guess I will go see her at the precinct tomorrow. Talk to her." He shrugged.

Martha shook her head, "I wouldn't do that."

"Why not?"

"If you are right about this, then she definitely knows. At least give the girl a day or two to wrap her mind around it, before you turn her world upside down. You gave her your number, so she can call you when she's ready."

He knew it made sense, yet he wondered about his world, which had been turned upside down as well, "What if she doesn't call?"

"Then you can still go and see her." Martha grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Richard, I know you. This is not about giving the girl money for your kid, just so you can reassure your mind and walk away again. I can see it in your eyes, you already care for the girl. You want to be a part of her life and I know you want to have it all planned out right now, but believe me, if you pressure her mother too soon, you might end up pushing her away. You told me she's young and I can only imagine what the past two and a half years have been like for her, so you need to give her some time."

He nodded, taking it all in. His mother had a point.

"She doesn't know you, doesn't know what kind of man you are, nor your intentions. So you both need a couple of days to deal with this, figure it out on your own, before you think about how to take it from there."

"You're right," Rick finally sighed. "You're right."

They sat in silence for a while, both lost in their thoughts, both trying to process what this revelation would mean for their future.

"What am I going to tell Alexis?" His voice cut through the cocoon they had built around them. This was probably not what she had meant, when talking about having a sibling.

"When the time comes, you'll tell her the truth. Just like you always do."

X~~~~X

Kate couldn't sleep. She had been tossing and turning for the better half of an hour, even though she'd been exhausted when she had finally been able to leave the precinct to pick up Jamie and go home.

After spending some quality time with her daughter, she had put her to bed and taken a quick shower. It didn't do much to calm her nerves though. She longed for a bath, a long hot bath, but while her new place came with two bedrooms, it also came without a bathtub. She couldn't be picky though, it was located in a nice enough neigborhood and affordable on her cop salary. They could always move once she made detective, but for now this would have to do.

Kate continued staring at the ceiling, her mind spinning. Did she really run into Richard Castle today? The man she couldn't forget, because every time she looked at her daughter, she saw him? Saw his blue eyes that followed her into her dreams.

It's not like she had never thought about it, imagined how it would feel to see him again, but she always came to the conclusion that he probably wouldn't recognize her after all this time. She had kept an eye on him, had read about the affairs and women in his life. They seemed to change more quickly than most people change their underwear. A movie premiere with a blonde, a charity event with a brunette, the list seemed endless.

Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined he would actually remember her, or be as affected by their surprising encounter as she apparently had been. Maybe she had haunted him in his dreams as much as he had her? She dismissed the thought, didn't even know why there was something like hope flickering up in her chest. Hope for what? A family? She wouldn't fall for that illusion. She and Jamie were doing just fine. They had each other and that had always been enough. She wouldn't let her daughter get hurt. She wouldn't let herself get hurt. Not again.

Yet, he had given her his card, wanted her to call him and as much as she tried she just couldn't bring herself to throw it away. All because of that tender flame of hope, she couldn't understand. She didn't even know the man, or did she? Sure she knew his work, had read all of his books, the newest lying next to her on the nightstand. But that was Richard Castle the author, who had given her comfort over the past few years. Rick Castle the man though, seemed to be a cocky playboy. And she didn't need that in her life, her or Jamie's.

Finally closing her eyes, she made her decision.

X~~~~X

She hadn't called. Four days later Rick sat in yet another boring meeting with his agent Paula and his new publisher Gina, having a hard time concentrating on anything that happened around him. Why hadn't she called?

"Ricky?" Paula's shrill voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" He looked from one woman to the other. "Sorry. What are we talking about?"

"The release date for the next Derrick Storm novel," Gina purred, with that look that always meant trouble when directed at him by a woman. She was trying to lure him in. Dangerous woman.

"We only released the last one three weeks ago, can't you at least give me a break after all the book signings, to catch my breath?" Seriously what was he, a machine?

"Ricky," Paula moved her chair closer to his, poking her prominent nose and her even more prominent cleavage into his vision. "You know how important it is, to keep the fans satisfied. You have to give them at least one Derrick Storm novel a year."

"I know that," he replied irritated, "but can't you at least give me a month? I haven't even started the new book yet."

"I already let you off the hook in regard to the planned book tour," she hissed back. "We are simply asking you to do your job."

"I told you, I don't want to be away when Alexis is in school," Defending himself he pushed his chair back a bit to get Paula out of his personal space. He hated to bring Alexis into these discussions. He shouldn't be forced to fight to be a dad.

"Well can't she stay with her mother?" Rage boiled up in him at the arrogance in his agent's voice.

"Her mother is in California, Alexis' school is here. You are very well aware of that," he pressed out between clenched teeth.

Paula raised her hands in surrender, "Just making a suggestion."

"Well I neither want nor need your suggestions," he spat back.

"So what do we do?" Gina interrupted, before things could get out of hand any further. "Why don't we put the release date around the same time as this year?"

Rick nodded, "Okay, fine with me."

Gina looked at his agent, "Paula? This way everyone should be satisfied."

Rick's agent nodded and looking over at him she added, "You can be a pain in the ass."

"Let me assure you Paula, the feeling is mutual. I believe we're done here." With that he stood, saying his goodbyes, knowing he and Paula would be fine, it was just the way they rolled.

He had almost made it to the elevators when he heard the clicking of stiletto heels, hurrying after him.

"Rick!"

He flinched when he heard Gina call his name, knowing what was about to come.

"Gina," he turned around, a fake smile on his face, "Did I forget something?"

"No," she laughed artificially, patting his arm. He didn't like it. He was not in the mood to flirt or to play the role everyone expected him to play.

Taking a step back, he raised one eyebrow in question, "What can I do for you then?" He still tried to be reasonably friendly.

"I was wondering if you would like to have lunch with me," she made it sound suggestive, alluring and under different circumstances he probably would have agreed, but today he had somewhere else to be.

"Sorry Gina. I already have plans," he smiled at her, before turning to leave.

"Maybe another time?" She called after him.

"Maybe."

X~~~~X

"I'm on my way to her precinct," Rick looked left before crossing the street, heading for the subway station. "Can you watch Alexis for a bit longer?"

"Richard, is that really smart?" His mother was silently closing the door to her living room, where Alexis was reading a book.

"What else do you suggest I do? I've waited four days. I think it's obvious she doesn't want to talk to me."

Martha changed the phone from left to right, leaning against the kitchen counter, "You have that tone in your voice."

"What tone?"

"The tone which tells me, you'll get yourself into trouble and might do things you're going to regret." She sighed. "Look, why don't you call her precinct first?"

"And tell them what? I want to talk to Kate, because I'm the father of her child, whom she didn't bother to inform about this?"

"There is that tone again." Martha pointed out, could picture the look on his face, the eagerness in his eyes.

"Mother, will you watch Alexis, yes or no?" Hovering at the stairs leading down to the red line, he tapped his foot impatiently.

"Of course, but Richard -," Martha started but he had already hung up.

The precinct was buzzing with people; prostitutes, drunks, normal guys, a crying child. Normally he would have soaked it up like a sponge, created a scene in his head for his next book, but he was too busy scanning the squad room, looking for her, to notice any of it.

"Can I help you?" A young officer, who couldn't be much older than 20, asked him politely.

"I'm looking for Kate?" Rick answered, trying to look as unsuspicious as he could.

"Beckett?"

He nodded, going with the flow, "U-huh."

"Royce! Is Beckett around?" The officer called over the riot, going on around them.

"The guys from Vice took her out, why?" Rick watched the guy, Royce, approaching them, could feel him assessing, judging. "Who's this?"

Rick stuck out his hand, "Rick Castle. I'm friends with Kate." He was going for even-less suspicious.

"Rick Castle?" Royce looked him over. "Never heard of you."

"Well it's kind of new," he needed a plan and fast, because this Royce guy was obviously not buying his story. "You see, we met at the playground. I have a daughter and we met Kate and Jamie at the playground." He was stuttering. This was going so wrong.

"You know Jamie?"

"Yes, cute girl, beautiful blue eyes. My daughter Alexis and Jamie really hit it of. You know, kids. I just wanted to check if we're still on for tomorrow." What was he doing? His mother was right, he was going to get himself into so much trouble.

"She should be back soon. You can wait over there." Royce pointed to a set of chairs, to the side of the busy bull pen. "Miller can get you coffee, if you want."

Rick nodded, "Thank you. That'd be nice." Sitting down in one of the chairs, he took a deep breath, maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

He only took one sip of the coffee Miller brought him as it tasted like acid monkey piss and he was thinking of an easy way to get rid of it, when he saw her entering the room through one of the side doors. His heart skipped a beat.

He saw her talking to Royce, who pointed in his direction, obviously giving her a rundown of what he had told him. Seeing her relaxed features tense, he prepared himself for what was to come.

Kate Beckett, standing on the other side of the room only wanted to do one thing, run. But she couldn't do that not with Royce watching her like a hawk, so she gathered up all her courage and stalked towards him, determined to kick him out and make sure he wouldn't come back.

X~~~~X